"I am not actually tired, but numb and heavy, and can't find the right words."
- Franz Kafka
. . .
Dahlia
I, as calmly as I could, stood in front of the mirror in the washroom and looked at myself.
I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering. Things were different than what they used to be. They had changed all of it. The walls were grey, instead of a deep color of red. A black bathtub was inserted into the ground, instead of a white one pushed into the corner - never used. Everything looked expensive. Everything looked cold. Everything was different.
I asked about the washroom instantly as I entered the house. Yes, that must be weird for them. But the last thing I wanted was for them to witness a breakdown.
The breakdown didn't come, thankfully. I just needed a few deep breaths.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in-
"Dahlia, are you okay?"
"Fine!" I said back to Andros or Hedeon, gripping the counter. "Perfectly fine," I repeated with a softer, more believable tone, wiping tears from under my eyes. "I'll be out in a minute."
"Take your time."
I opened my handbag and pulled out a few wipes, wiping my smudged mascara away. It also took away a bit of my concealer, exposing the redness under my eyes.
I sighed. I looked so bad. I did wear a lot of makeup. I had started wearing it because I adored expressing myself with dramatic eyeshadows.
But now, it was, like everything else, about hiding myself. I needed to have a layer of protection over every part of me. No one could see me bare. No one could touch me bare.
I redid everything within minutes, not registering everything. I did this every day
I walked out, ready to leave the house. There was no use being here, now. I somehow just needed to let this house die in my heart, and now it had.
Andros or Hedeon was leaning against the wall across the washroom, his arms folded against his chest. His tattoos were a lot different than Elliot, whichever one I had seen that day. But even in the dark hallway, I could see one similar tattoo.
Pirate ship.
My eyes fell on the five scars on his neck. Vertical. Not clean, at all. I looked into his eyes. "Hey."
"Hey, Dahlia." He stepped forward, green eyes gentle. Andros?
"Who are you?"
"Andros."
His hand lifted. "May I?"
"What?"
He smiled. "Touch your face."
I gave him a nod, curious. He tugged my chin up with two fingers pinching it. His eyes traced my face.
"You cried."
I removed his hand. "No."
"Don't lie to me." He tugged my chin up again. "Did someone do anything?"
"No."
His eyes searched mine. I could feel tears burning in my eyes again.
"It's stupid," I whispered. "I just...got a bit overwhelmed, it's nothing. I need to get home to my cats."
"Stay for a drink."
"I have to drive."
"I can drive you." He smiled. "And then I can pick you up in the morning for work and bring you here."
"You'd be willing to do all that for just a drink?"
"A drink, a talk, whatever you want to do."
Who could say no to that?
. . .
Hedeon was quiet. Too quiet. He liked letting Andros do the talking. He just sat in a chair, drinking his scotch, staring at me. He didn't even bother to hide it.
"So, you two are living with the Elliots?" I asked.
"Not really," Andros said. "I have an apartment. Hedeon has an apartment. But we prefer to live on our ship."
"Does that happen to be the one the Elliots have?"
"Yes." Andros looked surprised, leaning back into his seat. He had put on a black T-shirt with a pair of dark grey sweatpants. Hedeon had changed out of the suit he was wearing, his torso was covered with a dark grey t-shirt, and his legs with black sweatpants. He didn't look relaxed. Andros did. I wondered which one was faking it.
"I'm surprised he told you that," Andros added.
"Well, he was being nice that day. It was my birthday."
His lips twisted in a smile. "Of course. Twenty-two now."
"How old are you?" I asked him, taking a sip of my drink. It was just cola. I didn't want anything alcoholic.
"Thirty," Hedeon answered. I was surprised he spoke at all.
Thirty. Eight years older.
Was that a big deal?
You like them because of your daddy issues.
Well, my daddy issues could be useful for once.
I finished my drink, setting the glass down. "I should leave."
"It hasn't even been half an hour, Dahlia," Andros said, smoothly. He shifted closer, an arm wrapping around my shoulders.
His face came closer, that soft smile present. His lips pressed to my cheek, I let out a shaky breath, my eyes falling on Hedeon.
Hedeon smirked, watching quietly.
"I heard what happened between you and Monet," Andros whispered, pressing kisses to the side of my face. His lips paused just under my ear. "I have to say, Dahlia, I was jealous."
"Nothing much...happened-" his lips pressed on my collarbone. My eyes dropped, hiding Hedeon's face.
"Hm, I know," Andros said, his voice vibrating through me. "He said you know of our intentions."
"...intentions?"
His lips pressed to a sensitive spot on the side of my neck. "Four of us," he said. "And you."
I let out a shaky breath. "How would that even work?"
I felt a warm body sit beside me. I opened my eyes. Hedeon.
Hedeon's fingers gently took one of my hands, while Andros became slightly more aggressive with his kisses on my neck.
My eyes closed as Hedeon kissed my wrist, trailing his lips up to my elbows and the twins' lips were pressed on my neck, kissing on the sides.
Someone's arm wrapped around me, forcing me against the backrest. The lips disappeared.
Hedeon looked down at me, his jaw locked and eyes heated. "Dahlia..."
Even Andros looked serious. At the moment, if I didn't already know who was who, I would have been so confused.
"Yes?" My voice was breathless and trembling. All of me was heated up. My thighs pressed, a gentle throb making me want their lips on more interesting places.
He cupped my face with a hand, pulling it towards him. I gulped.
His head dropped till he was a whisper away. "You..." His thumb brushed on my bottom lip. "What do you want?"
"I...." His thumb on my lip was driving me crazy. "You. I want you."
"Only him?" Andros asked, his lips pressed on my shoulder. "I'm wounded."
"Both of you," I corrected myself. "I don't..."
What was I doing? What did I want them to do to me?
I was aware of how it worked with two partners, but...
Hedeon kissed the corner of my lips. "I want to taste you."
Andros chuckled. "Aren't you smooth."
"Shut the fuck up," Hedeon growled at him, and then looked back at me, his face softening up a bit. His thumb caressed my jaw. "Can I?"
"...kiss?"
His lips twitched. "No, baby." He got on his knees. "While I am sure the taste of your lips must be exquisite, I am referring to a...different way to taste you."
The throbbing increased by a million. Andros moved me till I was sitting between his legs. His hands rubbed the little bit of skin of my thighs my skirt showed, his chin resting on my head.
I realized how...big he was. I could feel his muscles pressing into me. He was soft, so it was easy to forget his power.
But Hedeon...
"Can I?" Hedeon asked.
I wordlessly nodded, nervousness fluttering through me. I was not prepared for this when Hedeon asked me to come inside.
"Words," his tone became firmer. He might be on his knees, but something made me feel that he was very much in control.
Andros's hand loosed wrapped around my neck, restricting my airflow just a little.
"He said something, Dahlia," Andros said, his voice, too, had become more dominant.
I pressed my thighs together. "Yes."
"Good girl," Hedeon said. "When we touch you," he began, taking my heels off. "We need words. You agree to what you want, and if we ever push you, you have permission to hit us in the face."
I couldn't help the laugh that left my lips. "Hit you?"
His lips twitched. "Yes. That would hurt less than doing something to you that you don't want." He kissed my knee. "But, words will work just fine. A simple stop, for now, will suffice."
Andros' and dropped to my waist. "Can we take off your skirt, Dahlia?"
I nodded and then remembered what they had said. "Yes, Andros."
He undid the button of my skirt and lifted me just a little so that Hedeon could take the black cloth off. He threw it away, giant hands rubbing up and down my bare thighs.
My heart had split in two and pushed up to my ears. This was so overwhelming, and at the same time, I felt like if they let me go I'd die.
Hedeon's finger hooked on the waistband of my light blue panties, eyes holding mine.
Andros's hand around my neck tightened, his lips pressed to my shoulder. My T-shirt had exposed a bit of it. He was kissing, sucking, and biting.
Marks.
Hedeon's fingers traced the skin under the waistband of my panties. His one hand pushed at my thigh, hooking my leg over Andros'.
Hedeon, finally, looked down.
His lips twisted in a smirk, eyes firing up.
"Now, would you look at that..."
. . .