Summary:
Vacation with Loki has been absolute bliss so far. That is, until you wake him up and he tries to kill you. Perhaps you should have used an alarm clock.
Notes:
Happy Friday everyone!! This chapter is gonna bring on the feels, so buckle up and get ready!! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for .)
Chapter Text
If someone asked you just over a week ago what you would be doing on your ideal vacation, you would probably say something along the lines of relaxing on a beach, maybe doing some rare guilt-free shopping, or perhaps even taking a stroll through the halls of an art museum. You would say these activities because the last thing you would ever expect to be doing on a vacation involved being repeatedly mounted by the God of Mischief and Sex.
Not that you were complaining.
Before you lost your virginity to Loki, you wouldn't be able to say having sex was really anything on your priority list. Of course, you had called out to him on that fateful Friday night so you could find someone to lose your virginity to - though you didn't expect that person to be Loki, of all people. But both of you knew that really, it wasn't about having sex. You wanted to feel wanted, and you felt sex was the key to that. It definitely helped.
Now, however, sex was all you wanted. You couldn't keep your hands off of Loki. He could just be sitting there, recovering from his latest orgasm, and you would already be climbing into his lap. And it always followed the same pattern - you would give him that sultry look, he would smirk, and nearly moments later his cock would slip inside of you.
Sometimes it took more than a few moments. Sometimes he made you wait. You didn't like those times.
You could handle a bit of teasing but Loki, you decided, was the king of having sexual patience. He could keep you on edge for what felt like hours and he thrived off of it. There was always a constant look of satisfaction on his face during those times, and you always cursed and swore to him that the moment he let you cum, you would strangle him.
You never did, but the threat was enough to make him chuckle at least.
But when you weren't having sex, you were doing what Loki said you would be doing otherwise: talking. You two talked a lot and there never seemed to be an exact pattern as to what was discussed. You went from discussing music to art to tipping at restaurants - which Loki didn't understand one bit because, quote, "darling, why am I paying them extra because their boss won't grant them a proper living wage? That is a crime! If I ruled Midgard, I'd abolish capitalism, I think" - to self-serve frozen yogurt. When you talked about that particular frozen dessert, Loki was able to calculate exactly how many combinations of flavors and toppings one could possibly make. It was somewhere in the millions, and as he did the math in head, you just stared at him in awe. That was becoming a little habitual.
The more you and Loki spoke outside of the bedroom - though, sometimes it was within the bedroom, you were rapidly becoming a sucker for pillow talk - the more you were seeing him for any other man. Albeit, this man was all-powerful, nearly immortal, and reigned over the carnal pleasures of humanity as well as the devious wickedness of the world, but he was still just a man. He had wants and needs, aches and pains, flaws and fractures that made up who he was. He was someone who knew war, who knew peace, who knew strength, who knew stability. He was a man who had walked these realms for a thousand years, and would walk them for thousands more. He was someone who could manipulate magic, create something from nothing, and told stories of how he became the most powerful sorcerer to ever exist.
But more than that, he was Loki. He was someone who hated mint but loved chocolate. He laughed at corny jokes and listened to songs ten times on repeat just because he enjoyed the way a single note had been sung. He listened intently, always nodding his head or narrowing his eyes, and he always thought before speaking. He got angry when you bit your lip and happy when you rested your head on his shoulder. He loved kissing the top of your head and perhaps loved it even more when you kissed the top of his - when you could reach it, that is. He was a pop-culture fanatic, a history buff, and an astronomy nerd. He likes his eggs well done and his steak still bleeding. He liked using magic for literally everything except taking your clothes off - he said he liked watching your skin slowly become revealed from underneath the layers of fabric you wore.
And really, he was making it damn hard not to fall for him.
Because the truth was it had been just over a week of knowing him, and that feeling of adoration lingered in your heart, but something more was there - something you couldn't explain. It was affection, admiration, passion. It was...something. Something you had not felt before. Something that you believed only existed in romance novels and fairy tales. You blamed it on the amount of physical validation you were receiving practically every hour on the hour.
That was how the first few days of your vacation went: fucking, talking, falling.
But there was one thing that didn't seem right.
Loki wasn't acting like he normally did. He was still suave, charming, and attentive. He still centered in on you in bed like you were the only person who existed. But there were times where it seemed like his mind was elsewhere. It was in the quiet moments where you two would be reading books while lounging across from each other on the couch or you were petting Cooper while sitting between Loki's legs. It was relaxing, and you could tell he was pleased, but there was something that was distracting him.
It terrified you.
In those quieter moments, his eyes would be glazed and narrowed. You could tell he was focusing on something. Often times, you'd let him sit there and mull through whatever was going on in his head. Other times, you would cup his cheek and turn his head towards you. The moment his eyes met yours, he'd soften and relax into your touch, those odd looks disappearing for the next few hours.
But they returned. They always returned.
You would see that haunted look right before you fell asleep. Loki would always lean over you and stroke your hair, your cheek, your arm. You had begged him to stay with you, and every time you did, he would turn away from you.
"I cannot," he would whisper. "I must answer prayers."
You assumed that the prayers had something to do with the stress in his face. You hated seeing him like this and you wondered if there was anything you could do to make him feel better. But before you could ever ask, he would kiss you and send you off to sleep as he left the room.
Loki would stay out in your living room all night, and when you left your room in the morning, he was already awake. He would lock eyes with you and you would be quickly pinned beneath him, his cock sliding inside of you.
"I missed you," he would grunt in your ear as his cock slammed into it. "It's been such a long night without you."
You gladly accepted the brutal fucking. It helped him relieve the stress that had built up from whatever he was doing. After he came inside of you - which he always did, much to your excitement - you found yourself wishing he would tell you whatever was on his mind. Why had it been such a long night and why was each night so hard for him? But he never talked about it. He never told you what was happening during the evening hours that he spent alone. He only gave you his body.
The dams began breaking a few days after your vacation had begun. It was Wednesday morning and the sun was slotting through your raggedy curtains with a particularly strong brightness. You peeled your eyelids open and immediately flung yourself onto your side, resting your hand on the bare bed beside you. You knew Loki left your room last night, but a piece of you wished that when you woke up, he would still be here.
Though, you were wearing his shirt. At least he had given you the courtesy of being able to sleep in that every night. It wasn't anything compared to his arms, but at least it offered some sort of comfort and reassurance of his care for you.
His adoration for you.
After getting up and performing your usual morning ritual, you stumbled out of your room. You paused there, taking in the realization that there was nothing happening. Cooper wasn't bustling about, Loki wasn't cooking, nor were any sounds filling your apartment. It had been a solid fifteen seconds since you left your room and at this point, Loki's mouth would have normally already been pressed to yours.
"Loki? Are you here?" you asked in a whisper, unsure of why you were trying to be so quiet. You walked into the kitchen, completely skipping past the living room. The kitchen was silent and still as clean as it was the night prior. No pots, pans, or utensils indicated that anyone had occupied the space this morning. A pit formed in your stomach as you turned and went to run back into the living room. You were set on heading back to your room and calling for Loki but something out of the corner of your eye made you stop moving.
Loki was here and he was passed out on your couch.
You stood in the doorway as you took in the image in your living room. Loki was lying on the couch, his body heavy and lazy with sleep. His eyes were closed and a peaceful, calm look was brushed over his elegant features. Those deep, sooty eyelashes were casting long shadows over his sharp cheekbones and his hair hung loose around his face, draping his features like a black blanket. Even with his hair down, you could still see the bruises you left blossoming all over his neck during these past few days. It had been rather difficult to leave them. They always seemed to disappear faster than you could leave them - though, you just considered that a reason to kiss and nip at Loki's long, pale neck even more. Cooper was curled up on the ground, his wet nose buried between his fat paws. You watched the two of them - your two boys, really - and shook your head playfully.
You could get used to this sight.
You crept over to Loki, trying to keep your footsteps as light and delicate as possible. You eyed his handsome, sleepy face and tried to repress the smile that threatened to grow on your face. When you reached his side, you bent over and took in the complex beauty of his features. Briefly, you thought about waking him up with a kiss like he was Sleeping Beauty. You pressed your hand to your mouth to stop the giggles that were bubbling from your lips. After calming down, you let your hand fall to his arm.
You wondered if you should even wake him up. He looked so serene, and even though the couch was far too small for his tremendous stature, there was an easy sort of comfort that was held in his body. It was the same sort of relaxation you saw after he came, his muscles releasing all sense of tension. His face, so wrapped up in divine pleasure, was the definition of ease.
Originally, you didn't want to wake him up. But now you were thinking about his face when he came and, well, your plans had changed.
You pressed your hand harder to his shoulder and shook him ever so slightly. "Loki? Hey, wake -"
Loki's eyes flew open and his hand sprung out. He wrapped it around your throat and growled, throwing you to the ground. You gasped, your own hands reaching up to grab his hand. Your legs flailed as he landed on top of you, his legs bracketing your hips. Loki's other hand conjured a dagger and he held it above his head. His eyes were wild, nearly glowing with rage as he bared his teeth at you. You squirmed and whimpered as his hand tightened around your throat.
"L-Loki...?" you squeaked, clawing at his hand. His grip locked onto your tighter, his thumb resting directly over your windpipe. The air was quickly leaving your body, as was the fight you were putting up. There was a growl coming from behind Loki and you flicked your eyes over to where it was coming. The commotion had woken Cooper up and he was currently prowling towards Loki, his tail puffed up in anger. As Cooper crawled closer, his dark eyes glaring at Loki, you squirmed a bit more aggressively. "Loki, please...it's me..."
Loki blinked a few times and the threatening look on his face faded away. His eyes were filled with recognition and he gasped, his hand opening and letting his knife fall to the floor. It landed beside you with a clatter and you jumped nervously. Loki retracted his hand from around your neck and held it to his chest defensively.
"Pet? What..." Loki trailed off, his eyes landing on his recoiled hand. You sighed and let your head fall back against the floor, taking a generous deep breath. He pressed his lips into a tight line and looked away sheepishly. "I apologize for that."
"What happened?" you asked. You tentatively reached forward and stroked your hand up Loki's leg. It seemed that your touch reminded him that he was on top of you - and not in a way that either of you had planned - and he immediately climbed off. He sat on the floor, his back resting against the couch. Loki opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Cooper lunged forward and bit his hand.
"Fuck!" Loki shouted, tugging his hand from Cooper's mouth. Blood splattered from Loki's hand as Cooper's sharp teeth were dislodged from it. Your dog continued to growl as he crawled towards you. When Cooper reached you, he whimpered and licked all over your face, then pressed his nose to your neck. Loki held his bleeding hand and watched as Cooper examined you, a haunted look on his face. When Cooper dug his nose out from your neck, he turned back to Loki and growled. Loki rolled his eyes and huffed. "I was trying to explain until you did this!"
Loki waved his hand in the air and you swore a look of pride flashed over Cooper's face. Your dog sat down directly in front of you, forming a barrier between you and Loki. You rested your hand on Cooper's back and pet him softly.
"Is he going to let you explain now?" you asked, a hint of teasing in your voice. Loki smiled a bit as he waved some green magic over his hand. You watched as his blood vanished and his broken skin reformed and sealed itself clean. You let out an unintentional noise of interest and grinned. "That's neat."
"Alright, I will admit that trick is neat," Loki chuckled, still staring at his hand.
"Do you...do you heal the bruises I give you?" you asked, gesturing your finger to your neck.
"No," Loki said. He looked up at you, past Cooper's still simmering gaze, and into your eyes. The look he gave you was soft, longing, and all you wanted to do was curl up in his arms. Loki rubbed his neck with his hand and chuckled slightly. "No, I don't. I just heal very quickly."
"Sounds like a challenge," you said with a wink. Loki snorted but nodded anyway, his laughter a calming, resonant sound that you wanted to absorb in your mind forever. You bit your lip and looked down at Cooper's tail. "So, uh, want to talk about it?"
"Talk about what?"
"You attacking me."
"Oh."
Loki was silent for a few moments, his eyes having fallen to the floor. They held that familiar darkness that had lurked in them recently. You sat there patiently, waiting for him to speak. Clearly, whatever happened came from a deep place within him. You would spend the entire day waiting for him to tell you why he did what he did.
"I don't really want to burden you with it," he said suddenly, still not looking at you. "Perhaps now is not the best time."
"Loki..." you sighed. "You told me that during this vacation, we'd get to know each other. I understand if you don't want to talk about it but we should at some point."
"I don't want you to be afraid of me," he whispered.
"I'm not." And it was true. As you said those words, you realized something a bit drastic. When he was on top of you, hand around your throat and dagger in the air, you weren't scared. Confused and startled - yes. But scared, no. You trusted Loki, you always had, but it really hit you in that moment how deeply you trusted him. You smiled at Loki softly, compassion in your eyes. "How could I be afraid of someone who is so willing to protect me...someone I adore?"
And then, he looked up.
There was some sort of emotion on his face - one you couldn't place. His lips were parted in quiet shock as he stared at you. That lean body became less stiff as he examined you in intense detail. Loki licked his lips and he nodded curtly.
"Can you tell me what you know about Jotunheim?" Loki asked, a hesitancy in his voice.
"Jotunheim?" Loki nodded. You pursed your lips and tried to remember the tales that were told to you about the foreign realm. You scratched your chin and looked into space. "Well, I know it's where the Frost Giants live. It's an icy planet, really cold. Kind of like Alaska but on steroids."
"Of course it is," Loki snorted. "Right, what can you tell me about the Frost Giants, though?"
"They're tall and blue," you said with a shrug.
"That's it?" Loki asked, his jaw a bit slack. You turned back to him and nodded. The look in his eyes was tentative, full of disbelief. Loki shut his mouth and hummed. "Interesting. So are there no tales of violence or war or...or anything?"
"Not that I'm aware of," you said. "Should there be?"
"No, I...I suppose not..." Loki trailed off, his eyes falling to the floor again.
"Why?" you asked.
"Nothing. Midgard is far more removed from the rest of the realms than I thought." Loki was picking at a piece of dry skin beside his nail and you smiled softly at his nervous tick. For some reason, the little gesture made him seem more real to you. Though, just like he pulled your lip from your teeth when you nibbled on it, you had the same urge to take his hand in yours and kiss his finger.
"So what does Jotunheim have to do with all of this?" You spun your finger in a circle as if to motion to the events that had just happened.
Loki was quiet, so quiet, you almost didn't hear him.
"Someone tried to assassinate me when I was younger," Loki murmured, his face shifting to cold and hard. Your smile fell from your face, a look of disturbance and hurt covering your features. There were tears in Loki's eyes that he quickly blinked away.
"What?" you whispered. It was the only reaction you could think of. Whatever you were expecting Loki to say, it certainly was not that.
"Yeah. I was rather young. In human years, it would equate to, eh, fourteen? Something like that," Loki said.
"Why would anyone do that?" you gasped, your hand still on Cooper's back. Even the dog had shut his mouth, his body completely motionless as he stared at Loki.
"Well, it's a bit of a complicated story." Loki settled back against the couch, his eyes drifting to some empty space in front of him. "You see, I'm not really Asgardian. Not fully, at least. I was actually adopted into Odin's royal household. My mother Frigga is not actually my mother. She's my aunt. I'm her sister's son. Her sister gave me to Frigga and I was raised in Odin's household."
"I didn't know that," you mumbled. "We...we were never taught that."
"That's because not many people know," Loki said, nodding slowly.
"When did you find out?" you asked. Loki looked down at his hand as he scratched at the dry skin beside his nail. You watched his Adam's apple bob as he took a few deep breaths. This was hard for Loki to talk about and you were afraid if you shifted at all, he would retract into his shell and not tell you the rest of the story.
"Frigga told me when I was young. She told me who I was and where I was from. She knew I was different and she did not want that to affect me growing up. She told Thor shortly after that as well. Everyone in the family was in the know and things were decent. Thor did not treat me any differently and even though by technicality, he is my cousin, he always felt just like a brother to me," Loki said with a small smile on his face. "To him, I am his brother. It is as simple as that."
"Can I meet him one day?" you asked suddenly. Loki looked at you from the corner of his watery eyes. You shrunk back a bit. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I can just tell you really love him and it'd be nice to meet him."
"Of course you can, little one," Loki said, reaching forward and patting your knee. Cooper growled slightly but you pinched his tail, silencing the grumpy dog. Loki glared at Cooper but retracted his hand in understanding.
"Back to the uh, the uh..." you stuttered.
"Assassination."
"Yeah."
Loki leaned further back against the couch. "I thought everything was fine in the family but as I got older, I began noticing some changes. Odin was placing his trust in Thor more. I didn't want to believe it was because I was adopted but the facts were there. Even Thor saw it. Thor got the throne, his temple erected, less severe punishments. I was not angry with Thor for it, I was angry at Odin. Why was I being treated differently? And as I grew, I realized I was right. Odin did not trust me because of who I was.
"Apparently, he was not the only one. As I said, only a few people knew the truth about my adoption. It was kept pretty quiet. Well, one day, one of the guards found out and immediately started spreading the word. Not many believed him but a few did considering his position within the palace. And that few was enough..."
You stared at Loki as fresh tears soaked in his eyes. Even Cooper was whimpering at the sight. Still, Loki did not acknowledge the tears in his eyes. He licked his lips and tried to smile, though you could see it was all a farce.
"A couple of people snuck into the palace one night. They were disgusted by me and during the darkest time of night, they managed to get into my chambers. I was asleep when one of them climbed onto me. They put their blade to my throat and I woke just as they were about to kill me. I was able to get them off of me and I...well, I killed them," Loki whispered. "It was the first time I ever killed someone."
"Oh my gosh," you said softly. "You were so young."
"Which is why it disturbs me even more that they tried to kill me. I was a child, pet. A child." The tears were now flowing down Loki's cheeks. He scrubbed them away with the heel of his hand but they continued to run down his face. He let out a sob, then a laugh, then another sob. "It's affected me to this day. I rarely sleep, and when I do, it's with the knowledge that someone could be trying to kill me when I wake up. Do you remember when I told you Thor protected me after everything? That was the everything. He made sure to keep an extra watchful eye on me once the rumors began to spread. And when he discovered I had almost been assassinated, I am pretty sure he would have set the realm on fire. If I had not killed those men, he certainly would have. He always looked after me and I knew as long as I was by his side, nothing could happen to me. It just pains me that I even needed to worry about something happening to me in the first place - and at such a young age, nonetheless. Children should not have to fear being murdered. Anyway, that is why I attacked you when you woke me up. I felt your hand on me and my subconscious tossed me back into the place where death and destruction of my person exists. I could not help it and I am sorry for that."
"No, I am so sorry, Loki. I'm not upset that you attacked me and I'm really thankful that you told me all of this." You reached forward and rested your hand on Loki's leg. Cooper got up and walked over to Loki. He laid down and rested his head on Loki's thigh, nuzzling into him. Loki placed his hand over yours and squeezed it.
"It is okay," he sighed.
"Loki? The people who tried to kill you...were they Frost Giants?" you asked, your mind recalling your brief conversation about Jotunheim. Loki stilled and removed his hand from yours. He looked into your eyes and ignored the tears on his face.
"No. They were not Frost Giants," he uttered firmly. "I am."
Your eyes widened and your lips parted. "You? You're a Frost Giant?"
"Yes," he said. "My real mother was half Vanir, half Asgardian. She fell in love with a Frost Giant and they had me. My mother grew sick and since I was not fully Jotun, I could not survive the temperatures of the ice realm, therefore she gave me to Frigga. So while I am technically Vanir, Asgardian, and Jotun, it is the latter that terrifies Asgardians."
"But why?" you asked, shaking your head. "Why would that terrify them?"
"Because Asgard has a long history with Jotunheim. There used to be war and conflict, but those are events that have not happened in centuries. Still, the bias lasts. Most Asgardians are fine with the Jotuns now but there are still some radicals that cannot fathom the idea of the Frost Giants," Loki hissed. "I fear Odin is one of them. His father fought in the wars against the Jotuns, therefore he carries that hatred deep in his heart without realizing it. That is why he does not trust me. He knows that a third of me is the enemy - his enemy, his father's enemy. He cannot trust an enemy. I know a part of him cares for me but that is only because Frigga made him care for me. If it were up to him, I would have never been allowed to be taken in. Frigga's golden heart made him soft for a few moments and she took advantage of that. I cannot thank her enough.
"Pet, let me state that I am fine with being a Frost Giant. It took a lot of getting used to but it is who I am. Those I love most accept me therefore I can accept me. But those few who do not, the few who want me dead, make me believe that there is a fault in me. That I have done something, been something, that is offensive. Something worthy of hatred," Loki said, wiping his cheeks again.
You sat there silently, tears welling in your own eyes. You couldn't stand to see him this way. All the pain that you had witnessed in his face these past few days was there but it was explosive now. He was facing demons that you feared he had not faced since the day his assassin held a knife to his neck. You weren't sure what to do. This was heavy stuff. But as you looked at the man sitting against your couch, you knew that nothing had changed. You didn't see him any differently. He was still Loki, no matter what came together to make him that way.
You slid over to him, your knees pressed to the floor. Loki looked up at you and you squeezed his leg. "Can I?"
"Yes," he whispered.
You climbed onto his lap and warped one arm around his neck. Carefully, you lifted his hand and kissed the tips of his fingers where he had been picking at the dry skin. Once you kissed each of his long fingers, you placed his hand back down and rested your head on his shoulder. Loki's arms were limp at his side for a few moments before they slowly came up to wrap around your waist. You played with the hair at the back of his neck before sighing.
"I am so sorry that this has been your life," you said into his shirt. "You didn't deserve to be put second and I'm sorry Odin doesn't trust you because of his own issues. But please remember how valuable you are. It doesn't matter if you're Vanir, Asgardian, Jotun...hell, it wouldn't even matter if you were from Earth or Alfheim or any of the other realms, you're amazing just the way you are. You are worthy of protection and care. You are worthy of trust. Loki..." you lifted your head up and looked him in the eyes. "You are worthy of love."
"Love," he whispered, reaching up to cup your face. "I am not the monsters from my grandfather's stories, pet. I know I am not. I just wish others saw me that way, too."
"I can't speak for others but you are not a monster to me," you said, tightening your grip on his neck. "I haven't heard these stories but that doesn't matter. You weren't the one in them. You are you, not anyone else. You're someone who I'd be proud to be seen with and call my Master. You make me so happy, Loki. Hell, if my family were still..."
"What is it, little one?" Loki asked softly, his dark brows knitted together with concern. You didn't mean to say that last part, but you had already let it go. After everything Loki had confessed to you, it didn't feel right keeping secrets from him any longer. You smiled and brushed some of his hair away from his face.
"You asked me why I live here all alone. Well, it's because I have no one," you explained, keeping your eyes focused on the few strands of Loki's hair you kept playing with. "I grew up without a father. My mom never told me what happened to him until I got older. Apparently he left. They were both young when they had me...accidentally, so it made sense. She raised me by herself and she did a good job. But around when I went to college, she met someone. I was happy for her, really I was. I didn't like the guy though and I tried to tell her that but she was so happy. I could see the youth in her that she didn't get to have. But that youth also came with immaturity. She started treating me like a friend instead of like a daughter. I grew resentful of that guy for taking my mother away from me so we just sort of drifted apart. She hasn't checked in but to be fair, neither have I. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she was a great mother, but our relationship isn't really there anymore. I'm sure if I saw her, everything would be fine. For now, though, she's like an old friend that I grew apart from."
"My sweet," Loki murmured. "I am so sorry."
"You don't need to apologize, Loki," you said with a smile. "For the first time since that all happened with my mom, I'm happy. I'm here with you and I'm so happy."
"My sweet girl, you are such a bright light in my life." Loki's eyes fell down to your lips and he smiled weakly. "How do we always manage to tear the deep stuff from each other?"
"I have no idea but thank you for telling me." You placed a finger under Loki's chin and pushed his face up gently so he was looking at you. "I mean it. Thank you. I promise I won't tell anyone and if you're ever asleep, I'll wait until you wake up to approach you. And if there's anything I can do to make you feel safer here, I'll do it."
Cooper huffed behind you and you had the faintest idea that he was saying he agreed. Loki looked down at Cooper and scratched the dog's head. Cooper licked Loki's hand and stood. He pressed a sloppy kiss to Loki's cheek before lumbering out of the room. When Cooper reached your room, he looked over his shoulder and you swore he winked. Loki chuckled and pulled you closer, keeping your body flush against his.
"Thank you for telling me of your family. Your faith in me is so strong. I do not think I am worthy of it, but I swear I will protect that trust with every fiber of my being," Loki whispered, his face buried in your chest. "To be honest, I do not know what I'd do without you, pet."
You stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Me neither."
You held Loki like that for a long time - his face pressed into your breasts and his arms wound around your waist. He began crying again at one point and you continued to hold him, running your fingers through his hair. This pain, this sadness, was so obscure for Loki and it concerned you. You hated hearing him cry but you knew he needed this. He was letting go of something held in his chest for so long. And it honored you that he was telling you. He was trusting you with his secrets, his loneliness, his hatred. He was confiding in you. You held him tighter and buried your face in the top of his head.
You would never let him go.
Not after today, you couldn't. Because as you held him on the floor and comforted his cries, you knew that the adoration you felt for him was so strong, so passionate, it was something far beyond that. It was deep and passionate and romantic. You wanted to shield Loki from every evil of this world and the next. You couldn't stand to see him in pain and it was that realization that had you winded. You felt such powerful things for the god underneath you. You weren't just fucking him anymore. You were talking to him, growing with him, learning with him. He was discovering parts of you that you did not know existed, and you were unveiling parts of him that he was afraid to admit. You told him about your private dreams, your secret wishes, and he told you about the scars on his heart and the shattering structure of his family. There was no turning back from the bond you had formed.
At some point, and you weren't sure when it happened, Loki looked up at you. His eyes were red but his cheeks had dried. You ran your fingers along his face and traced the edges, bumps, and curves he owned. His eyes fluttered shut and he nearly purred beneath you. He nuzzled into your touch and relaxed. His body was pliant and easy, molding against your hand like it was meant to be there. Loki opened his eyes and looked up at you with an innocence you did not know he could possess.
"Little one," Loki whispered. "You are...everything to me. I truly appreciate your kindness in this. And if I may say so, I am so happy that I chose to visit you that night you prayed to me. It was perhaps the best decision of my life."
"I'm glad I sucked up my pride and prayed to you that night," you said with a giggle. "I still think I was a little pathetic."
"Not pathetic, just desperate." Loki winked playfully.
"Still doesn't sound much better, even now," you laughed, shaking your head. Loki's body rumbled underneath you with laughter and it pleased you to see a joy in him once again. He pressed a kiss to the center of your chest before turning his head up to look at you. The humor on his face glazed over into an unconditional softness.
"My darling. My beautiful darling," Loki murmured. He reached up and stroked your hair away from your face. "May I...I mean, I would understand if you didn't want to but...but I would really like to...you know..."
You had never seen Loki stutter. Your stomach ached with nerves as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say. You watched his eyes flit around before they stilled and settled on your mouth.
"May I make love to you, sweetling?" Loki asked, his voice gentle and caring. "You have given me the gift of your ear and your trust today. I would like to lavish you in return and show you just how much your trust means to me."
Your heart fluttered in your chest at the beautiful look in Loki's eyes. His face was soft and endearing, begging you to let him have you in the way he wanted. It was something neither of you had done with each other. Your couplings were typically fast, hard, and rough. Occasionally, his thrusts would slip into something a bit more tender and intimate, but he always came back to the roughness. You loved that type of sex, but the more you thought about his proposal, the more you wanted what he was putting on the table. Loki shifted beneath you and you knew he was getting anxious from your silence. You smiled and nodded.
"I'd love that, Loki," you whispered, pushing yourself closer to him. "Please...please, take me."
"Oh, pet. You're such a good girl. My good, good girl," Loki murmured before pulling you down and pressing his lips to yours. He kissed you patiently, one hand gripping your hip and the other cupping your neck. Your breasts pressed against Loki as his lips moved against your sensually, teasing you with his tongue. You parted your lips and accepted him in as his large hands fell to your ass. He rocked you slowly over his crotch and you could quickly feel his cock hardening beneath you.
You pulled your lips away from Loki's for just long enough to shuck the white t-shirt he was wearing over his head and onto the floor. You connected your lips once again and set about exploring his chest and abdomen. His hard muscles twitched under your fingertips. He moaned into your mouth as your nails scraped over his chest. Loki moved his mouth to your jawline, kissing along the curve of your jaw and down your neck.
"You're so beautiful," Loki said into your neck, his teeth scraping your skin. His hands walked up to the back of your neck, and with a hard tear, his shirt fell into pieces around you. You gasped as the material of his shirt floated to the floor. Loki laughed and cupped your neck. "I'll conjure up a new one for you. Now kiss me again."
"You better. I like wearing your shirt," you chuckled before sealing your lips to his. There was a bit more passion in this kiss, though Loki ensured the pace remained slow and unbothered. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to see. It was just you and Loki sitting on the floor, wrapped up in one another. You could afford to go slow.
You learned in that moment that kissing Loki like this was one of your favorite things to do. You could truly feel him, taste him, savor him. You could discover parts of his body that you were almost too timid to explore before. His hips continued to gyrate, causing your core to grow wet and warm. You were only wearing panties now and you were a bit angered at the thin material for separating you from Loki. His pants were still on, and although they were flimsy - you learned that silk was one of his favorite materials - you still wanted them off. You needed those damn pants to come off.
You let your hands fall to the waistband of his pants. Scooting yourself back just a bit, you reached into his pants and pulled his cock out. Loki groaned, his lips sliding away from yours as he opened his eyes. He watched your hand slowly wrap around his cock and pump him. Loki's head fell forward and pressed to your cheek, his lips parted in ecstasy.
"Just like that, pet. Your hands...fuck, they're a gift from the gods themselves," Loki hissed. His nails dug into you as you pumped his cock. You whimpered but relished in the pain. It reminded you that Loki was real. He was real and he wanted to make love to you. A new wave of wetness flooded your cunt.
"These hands are all yours," you said softly against his skin. "My hands, my mouth, my body...every part of me belongs to you, Loki. I don't want anyone else to have it."
"You can't say things like that to me." Loki lifted his head and met your eyes. "It...it is not wise."
"Why not?" you asked, flicking your wrist. Loki groaned and struggled to keep his composure. He blinked a few times before shaking his head.
"I want you, kitten." Loki kissed the corner of your jaw, causing your hand to shutter around his cock. Loki thrusted up into your grip. One of his hands hooked around and rested over your covered cunt. He began rubbing you through the cloth. You felt him grin against your cheek. "My good girl is already so wet for me."
"You just kissed me like your life depended on it. It's a little hard not to be turned on by that," you chuckled. Loki laughed and you shivered. It was so beautiful, his laugh. It was like a warm, yellow light and you were a moth. You were drawn to that laugh and you would do anything to hear more of it. As Loki laughed, you swooped in and kissed him, drowning his chuckling with your lips. Loki's laughter turned into a moan, which turned into a gentle, nearly shocking whimper. His fingers pressed against your clit and rubbed it in circles. The lace of your underwear scratched your pussy and you gripped Loki tighter - one hand on his cock and the other on his neck. He drank your kisses in as he smoothed along your cunt. You pulled away breathlessly and rested your forehead against his. "Loki...it feels so good."
"I know, baby, I know. I love playing with this beautiful pussy," Loki whispered. His fingers traced up and down your damp underwear, teasing you with what he could actually be doing. You spread your legs wider and began pumping him faster, but Loki removed his hand from your cunt and wrapped it around your hand on his cock. "No, sweet. Stay slow. No rushing today."
"But I want you," you whined.
Loki smiled and licked his lips. "You have me."
"Promise?"
Loki's smile softened and he pressed a kiss directly over the gem of your pendant. "Always."
With that, Loki's hand slid into your panties. The warmth of his hand cupped you and you gasped, immediately pressing yourself into his palm. He cooed and leaned over to suck gently on your nipple as his fingers played with you. You continued to pump his cock tenderly, delivering him the pleasure that he deserved to feel.
As his thumb began to massage your clit, two of his fingers sunk into your hole. He held them there, warming his fingers inside of you. You writhed on top of him, but still he refused to move. You grunted and gripped his cock tightly, not moving your hand either. Loki looked down at your hand, raised a brow, then looked back up at you.
"It seems we are in a deadlock, my dear," he chuckled.
"I won't move until you do," you challenged with a grin.
"We are supposed to be making love," Loki whispered, leaning it to nip at your lips. "Not war."
"We can do both." You winked as you squeezed his cock. Loki grunted and stopped himself from fucking his cock into your tight little fist. His eyes fluttered open and he gave you a condoning look.
"Not today," he said softly. Finally, he began sliding his fingers in and out of your cunt. You rolled your head backwards as you started fisting his cock again. You two moved in sync. Every insert of his fingers earned a thrust downwards on his cock. His thumb pressed against your clit, spinning your swollen bud in small circles as he curled his fingers within you. On any other day, you would consider his motions teasing but right now, as his tongue licked your nipples and his free hand ran over your body, you believed this to be sensual.
"Loki..." you moaned, rocking down slowly onto his fingers as he rubbed inside of you. "You feel so good."
"I bet my cock would feel better inside of you," Loki sighed, nuzzling into your breasts. "Will you let me take you, pet? Will you let me put my cock inside of your tender pussy?"
"You don't even need to ask," you gasped as he curled his fingers dramatically. Loki lifted his head and kissed up your neck until he reached your lips. There, he pressed a sweet kiss to your mouth before licking over your lips with one, savory stripe.
"But I do, my darling. I do need to ask," he murmured. You fluttered your eyes open and blinked the pleasured fog out of them until you could see clearly. Loki, still fingering you with easy, steady thrusts of his fingers, gave you a sheepish look. "One of these days, you may not want me to fuck you. So, I will always ask. I will ask for your color, and should I not, I will still listen when you call one out. It is my job to protect you, even if I must protect you from my wickedly carnal needs. I always want your complete and utter consent, even in the midst of the most rough and animalistic fucking I can give you. And trust me, it can get rather brutal, though you know that by now."
"Oh my gosh, Loki." You dropped his cock so you could cup his face with both hands. You gazed into his sparkling green eyes and found your breath stuck in your throat. He was so beautiful, so perfect. Your eyes watered as you sat on this amazing man's lap. Your heart raced in your chest, beating so fast you were sure he could hear it, and you knew in that moment, everything had changed. You brushed his cheekbones with your thumbs and swallowed the lump that had grown in your throat. "Loki...I love..."
You paused.
Were you about to say...that?
You shook your head and instead, you kissed him. Loki gripped you harder, dragging you forward and tearing your underwear away. His cock brushed your bare cunt as his fingers played with you, milking noises from you that you weren't sure you could make. You could feel your orgasm quickly approaching.
"Tell me what you were going to say, kitten. Say it into my mouth," Loki panted on your lips before capturing them again.
"I love...I love your...your hands...oh! I want you to f-fuck me," you begged, thankful that your mind had not gone off of the rails and said something you didn't intend.
"Good girl," Loki whispered after a delicate pause. "Cum on my fingers and then I will take you. Cum, baby. Cum for your Master."
His fingers rubbed into you harder, massaging your slick walls with expert precision. Your hands tangled in Loki's hair and you held his face close to yours. You could feel his breath reflecting off of your face as he broke your kiss. His eyes dropped down to watch his fingers sink in and out of you. You watched it with wide eyes. When his thumb patted your clit twice more, your body froze above Loki and you came.
"Loki! Oh, thank you, Loki!" you shouted. Loki fingered you through your orgasm, cooing praise and pretty words the entire time. When you finally fell down from your high, Loki slid his fingers out from you and cleaned them with his tongue. You rested your forehead against his and realized you never wanted a moment of your day to pass by where your skin wasn't pressed to his.
"I'm going to put you on the floor now," Loki warned. You nodded and he slowly flipped you both over. You felt his pants melt from his body and you dropped one hand down to caress his strong thighs. When your body hit the floor, you felt something extremely soft rubbing against your back. You looked down and saw that your cheap rug had transformed into a pure white fur pelt. Loki tipped your face back towards his and winked. "Furs from Jotunheim, so I don't hurt your back. They are gifted to princesses of the realms as a home-warming gift."
"Prince Loki of Asgard, are you calling me a princess?" you giggled, letting your hand fall to the furs. It was so soft that it felt like a cloud drifting between the slots of your fingers. Loki watched you admire the furs with a fond smile on his face. He shifted himself between your legs and kissed your nose.
"Yes, I am. My beautiful, precious, delightful little princess. Now, I must treat you as such," Loki purred. The tip of his cock brushed against your wet hole and you spread your legs for him as far as you could. Loki groaned as he slid himself inside of you slowly, his cock dragging over the ridges of your slippery walls. His forehead fell to yours and he sighed. "You are so perfect. I would wreck worlds for you. I can never leave your side now."
"Loki," you choked out, tears welling in your eyes. Your chest felt so full of adoration and affection for him and his words were not helping. He was forcing you to fall for him, bringing your heart into a deal that was meant exclusively for your body. Now, he was intoxicating you with his sweet words and gentle voice. You gripped him tighter and blinked the tears out of your eyes.
Loki hushed you and kissed your tears away, his mouth dragging along your rosy cheeks. "I'm right here, pet." He caught one of your hands and placed it on the fur. He linked your fingers with his and kissed you intimately. "It is my job to adore you."
"I thought your job was just to teach me how to have sex," you laughed. Loki laughed heartily but he offered you a soft look.
"It has become so much more than that."
And then, he made love to you. His cock thrusted in and out of you slowly, reaching depths inside of you that had your thighs shaking. The entire time, he held your hand and kept his forehead pressed to yours. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear and kissed away the tears that still leaked from your eyes. You ran your free hand along his body, digging your nails into his skin on any particularly deep thrust.
There were quite a few.
You knew he would end up with some red nail marks along his ribs, back, and arm by the time this was over. Frankly, you didn't care. You wanted to leave marks on his body to prove that he was yours - well, sort of. He was here making love to you. That was enough to bring out your possessiveness.
"My good girl," Loki whispered, kissing your forehead, then your nose, then the pouch beneath your eyes. "You are so beautiful. I would do nearly anything to protect you. All I want is to adore you and keep you safe. I am sorry I did not tell you of my past before. But fuck, you listened to me, kitten. You listened and you still care for me."
"I do. I do care for you. I will no matter what," you said with a few fast nods.
The truth was, you did more than care for him. That was for certain now. As he made love to you on your floor covered in royal furs, you knew that you had feelings for him. And maybe, just maybe, it was love. Did you love him? You were unsure. You were unsure if you knew him enough to love him. But after these past few days of learning so much about each other - physically, emotionally, mentally - you felt like you could. And if you loved Loki, you were certainly going to keep it quiet. You couldn't scare him away. You couldn't force him out of your life with these confessions. So, you continued to press up into his thrusts. You continued to squeeze his hand and cry your tears and kiss his lips. You continued to chase your orgasm, begging him to cum with you.
"Cum inside of me, Loki. Please cum with me," you cried, tugging on his hair. Loki cursed and fucked into you with deep scoops of his hips, the tip of his cock jabbing tenderly against your deepest spot. You clenched around his cock and cried out his name, your orgasm nearly there.
"I will, pet. Cum for me. Cry my name. Please, pet, please let me hear you," he whispered. The wiry hairs at the base of his cock tickled your clit and it was enough to set you over the edge. You arched your back, pushing your breasts into his chest, as you came.
"Loki! LokI! Oh, Loki!" you cried out his name, just as he had asked so nicely. Your cunt was constricting his cock, locking him inside of you. With one final deep sweep of his hips, Loki shoved his cock all of the way inside of you and came. He shouted your name, his nose brushing yours as he shot his cum inside of you. You locked your ankles around his pert ass and held him inside of you. Even when Loki had finished cumming, he stayed inside of you.
"Thank you for letting me do that," Loki whispered before kissing you. "And thank you for listening - really, for just being you."
The rest of the day was spent with your body buried in Loki's side. He refused to let go of you and you never went more than a few minutes without his lips on yours. You told him of life on Earth, of how you discovered you wanted to be an artist, of your journey through schooling and work. He told you stories of Asgard, of the realms, of the wonders of space you had never gotten to experience - which in your opinion, made your stories seem rather bland. But through it all, he held your hand and looked into your eyes. He made love to you twice more, his body pressed directly on top of yours. He whispered loving words to you and by the end of the day, you knew you had fallen for Loki completely.
You were still hesitant to call it love. You didn't know what love felt like. But if this was it, you wanted to chase after it and hold onto it forever. Being with Loki felt right and you knew that no one else could ever enchant you the way that he had. You found yourself staring at him more, listening to him deeper, and observing little things about him that you hadn't taken the time to see before.
You just hoped he didn't notice your soft gaze and pounding heart.
As he tucked you into bed that night after fucking you again, he kissed your forehead and pushed some of your hair away from your face. He gave you a new shirt of his - one that smelled particularly of the leathery scent you were getting so used to smelling. And as he kissed you goodnight, he whispered something you never knew you wanted to hear so badly.
"It seems my brother was right," Loki uttered as he brushed your cheek with his knuckles. "I really do need you, pet."
But apparently, Loki didn't need you that much. Because in the morning, he was gone.
Notes:
UH OH
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