Everything had become so dull. I wasn't sure what it was, but I was becoming restless. Color was fading from my life at lightning speed. I stopped trying to repaint the skies and let the black and white consume everything. I was counting down the days until graduation but the school year had just started meaning I had a long way to go. I hated everything about being back here again. I felt like I couldn't breathe. There was a massive shift from the previous year to this one and I wasn't ready to take it on, yet I didn't have a choice.
I glanced up at the clock. Still a half hour left before I was free for the day. It was only week three and I declared Monday's my least favorite. I had classes into the late afternoon which was never ideal, even with two rather long breaks in the middle. I would rather get everything done and over with in the morning, but at least the rest of my week was much lighter. I had barely been listening the whole class so I wasn't going to tune in now. Instead, I let my mind drift back to the weekend like I had been doing since I woke up. I bit back a smile as the stranger – Chanyeol – invaded the space in my head. The cute dimple in his cheek when he smiled but the wickedness in his eyes as he devoured me like his last meal. I got shivers thinking about it.
After our second round, we sat on my bed munching on snacks while he showed me funny videos on his phone. At some point we had both fallen asleep. What I didn't expect was to wake up to his lips on mine. It was a pleasant surprise, slightly confusing, but I liked it. We made out for a bit longer before he got dressed. We exchanged numbers and he said he would hit me up but I knew I would never hear from him again. Although, part of me hoped I would seeing as though he's the one to ask for my number, but it could have just been part of the game many men play to make it seem as if something was there when there wasn't. I knew better though. It had happened to me one too many times to be ditzy enough to believe we had any type of connection other than amazing sex. That being said, if he were to hit me up by some miracle, I would be down for another ride. Literally and figuratively. That man had the dick game of a demon. There was no way I would pass that up.
I was drunk on him all weekend. Dizzy as the night replayed over and over. Although I said I wouldn't think much of his promise, I couldn't help but to check my phone every five minutes, hoping to see a message from him. I felt like a hopeless teen again. I needed to snap out of it. He was an enigma and I needed to manage my expectations. I knew what he was after that night. The sharing of the blunt and lingering was just to seal the deal so in the future if he did want to randomly drop back in, there's a higher chance I would play into it. I would knowingly fall into this trap because I wasn't looking for anything serious either. Just something to pass time and relieve the stress that was quickly building every second I was at this school. I kind of wish I had his number because I would definitely hit him up sometime this week for a quick fuck.
By the time I returned to the present, everyone was packing up their things and heading out of the door. I put my notes away and followed the crowd, glad to finally be done. I considered stopping at the café to grab a pastry to lift my mood but decided against it. The quicker I was off campus, the better. Apparently I wasn't moving quick enough because as I was walking out of the building, right in the courtyard with his friends was none other than Sehun. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. Did he not have anything better to do at this time? I didn't need to see him this much. It was-.
"Hey, Brooke!" What the fuck. I stuttered in my step as I looked in Sehun's direction. He was smiling as he jogged over. "I thought you were coming to the party Saturday?"
"I was there." I said. His eyebrows creased in confusion.
"I didn't see you."
"Didn't stay long." I shrugged. "Plus, Isla was keeping you pretty occupied."
"Oh, uh, sorry I missed you then." He was rubbing the back of his reddening neck.
"It's all good." I was so tired of the constant push and pull with him.
"Done for today?"
"Yeah, I was just about to head back to my apartment." I was hoping he'd take the hint and leave me alone.
"We should hang out sometime this week. It's been a while." And there was a reason for that. He stepped closer. "I've missed you." It took everything within me to not shove him back.
"Sure. Text me." I said, having every intention of declining. Between my fantasies of Chanyeol over the weekend, I thought long and hard about the...whatever the fuck it was I had with Sehun. I decided I was over it and didn't have the energy to entertain it any longer. He nodded and I took a step back, waving before he could attempt to give me a hug. I let out a sigh of relief once I was far from him.
It all started freshman year. Sehun and I were in the same friend group. He was cute and sweet. We shared some classes and got close that way. My crush grew and it was his fault. He would flirt and when others pointed it out he would say that it was harmless. We were just "good friends". He would walk with his arm around me, sit close, bring me snacks, and want to hang out often. He insisted that we were just friends and I had to agree even thought I hoped every day that he would finally admit he wanted something more. Sophomore year was when he kissed me. Granted, it was at some secluded corner at a party and he was tipsy, but he kissed me. The next day, he pretended nothing happened. I knew he remembered. He started distancing himself and that hurt. I never brought it up. Then one day, he went back to being his regular clingy self. We were fine up until the second semester when we had sex.
We had been studying for a test in my room and he got a little too playful until I was moaning under him. Just like the kiss, he pretended nothing happened for a few days. Until he started hitting me up regularly to hang out in his room or mine. I was on call whenever he needed me but then he acted as if he didn't know me in public. He would constantly be all over other girls. I would hear the rumors and would hear it straight from his mouth also. This went on into junior year. A mutual friend from our group one day asked him if he would ever date me since we were so close - or at least used to be - and seemed so compatible and he nearly laughed. He said I wasn't his type and he would never date me. Like an idiot, I was in his bed that same night. Bitter and angry, but still there. That was the last straw though. I pulled myself away from him and started dating. That relationship didn't last long nor end well and since then, I would find myself falling into Sehun's trap every once in a while. He wanted me but didn't want to be with me and that sure did a number on my self-esteem.
A week later I was in the middle of writing a paper when I received a text from Sehun, asking if we could hang out. It was the second time since I saw him that day in the courtyard. I had been taking a different exit from the building to avoid continuously running into him. I ignored the text and continued with my paper. When my phone vibrated again, I groaned in annoyance before picking it up.
From: Unknown [19:24]
Wouldn't suppose you'd be free to chill tonight?
Got a blunt if you're down...
I couldn't believe it. After I had come to the terms I wouldn't hear from this guy again, here he was. Men can be so annoying.
To: Unknown [19:24]
Come over.
I sent my address then I quickly finished the last of my paper, saving it for editing later before tidying up a bit. I took a quick shower and settled on the couch. I wasn't going to lie. I was excited. I finally had something to take my mind off how much I hated school and all the work I had to get done. Also off Sehun and all the friends I grew apart from. Chanyeol was a new and welcomed distraction.
A half hour later, when I was almost dozing off on my couch, there was a knock at the door. I rolled to my feet and went to answer it. Chanyeol was smiling down at me. He was dressed similarly to the night we met. Black cap, black hoodie, and black ripped jeans.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hey, come in." I stepped aside so he could enter. He slipped out of his shoes and sat on my couch pulling out a small baggie.
"Your apartment smells like candy." He said.
"Wildberry Frosé." I nodded to the candle on the windowsill that had been burning since I returned from class.
"I like it." He started rolling up on my coffee table. I suddenly felt weirdly uncomfortable, not knowing what to do with myself. It dawned on me that this man was a stranger. Sure, this wasn't the first time he was in my apartment, but that was in a drunken haze. I didn't know him. Given what happened in my previous relationship, I should have been more cautious, but part of me didn't even care. He honestly didn't seem like a bad guy. But they mostly never do at first. "Mind if we smoke for a little bit first?"
"No, go for it." I said. "Want anything to drink?"
"I'll take some water." He said as he sealed the wrapper. I stood for the kitchen, glad for the moment to breathe.
"Cold or room temperature?"
"Room temperature." He called back. I grabbed two bottles of water and returned to the couch, handing him one.
"Thanks." He already sparked up and was taking a deep inhale. He held it for a moment before tilting his head back and letting it out. He sighed contentedly, resting his head on the couch and closing his eyes. Not that I was comparing, but when it came to hooking up with Sehun, we would just get down to it, then he would leave. This was...different. I guess because there was smoking involved. Maybe get this out of the way so he doesn't have to stay after. That didn't stop him the last time though. Too many questions, not enough skin showing. He handed it over and I took a hit. "How'd you manage to get a place to yourself?"
"Rich parents." I said exhaling. He chuckled.
"Fellow trust fund baby. Dope." He held out his fist for me to bump. I connected mine before handing it back.
"Does that mean you have your own place too?" I asked. He nodded.
"Moved out right after graduating. I'm way away from campus though."
"How far?"
"Like twenty minutes out."
"Is that where you were coming from?" He shook his head and took another inhale before handing it over.
"Was working on a project with some friends at the on campus studio." He said. I took a deep inhale, letting the hot air burn down to my lungs before releasing it. I handed it back and decided to stop talking because why the fuck were we playing twenty-one questions anyway? That's not what he was here for. At the same time, I wanted to let him have his smoke break since he asked so kindly and not just jump on his dick. "You still trying to murder that person from the party the other weekend?" He asked, getting my attention away from his crotch.
"What?" I asked, not registering what he was asking me.
"At the party. You had this murderous look on your face." He continued. "I was literally watching you glare for like ten minutes straight. If I didn't swoop in to save the day, I feel like you would have been in jail right now." I couldn't help but to laugh at this.
"You were sitting next to me for that long?" I shook my head when he tried to hand me the blunt.
"Mmhm." He took another puff. "So?"
"Why do you care?"
"I don't. Just curious." He shrugged.
"Well thank you for being my oh so brave hero, but I wasn't trying to murder anyone." I really didn't want to recount that night again. That part at least.
"If you say so." Thankfully he let it go. "Glad you were alone though." He smirked, looking into my eyes for the first time since he sat on my couch. I was starting to feel hot under his gaze.
"And that I wasn't such a prude?" I joked. He chuckled and sat up straight.
"Honestly?" He leaned into my space. Looking down at my lips briefly. "Yeah." I couldn't wait any longer. I closed the distance between us and latched onto his lips. It was as good as I remembered. Our lips slotted together almost innocently. Slow, careful pecks as if we were feeling it out. He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me on his lap. I straddled him easily, liking that this position gave us a better angle. My hands on his shoulders and his left hand resting on my low back. We tilted our heads as we kissed each other deeper. Filthy sucks and tongues dancing. "How...are your lips...so...fucking soft?" He asked between kisses.
"Exfoliate." I started to grind on him. He hissed and gripped my hip, grinding with me. He started to suck on my neck. I was too hot. There were too many clothes between us. "What were you saying last time about taking me on the couch?" I felt him smirk before he grazed his teeth along my pulse point. He licked before sucking. My eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. I was hot, wet, and ready. I gasped when he lifted me off his lap. I looked up at him confused.
"I'm going to put this out and wash my hands." He said. "Get undressed." As he walked over to my kitchen, I looked to make sure my blinds were closed. The lights were dim anyway, but you could never be too careful.
When he returned, I was down to my undergarments. He tossed his hat on the arm chair and removed his hoodie and t-shirt in one move, tossing it aside as well. I reclined on the couch and he climbed over top of me. My legs around his waist. His mouth on mine once again. He kissed a trail down my chest before looking up at me with those fucking big ass eyes.
"I think I want you on your knees this time."