Choi Iseul
My eyes fluttered open at the sound of my alarm ringing. I lazily turned it off, taking my time to wake up. Today seemed like any oddinary day, with sunlight entering my room through the window and sounds of people talking in the neighborhood, going about their daily business. There was nothing unusual about today for everyone else.
But for me, it was the beginning of my new life.
Today was the first day of my highschool. Most of the people my age had hopes of meeting new friends or coming across some old ones. They felt excited to meet people.
But that wasn't the case for me. All I wished for was to not come across anyone from my past. And I had no intentions of making friends either. The only thing I wished for was to have a low profile with as little human interaction as possible.
Besides, most of the humans repelled me. Sometimes I even wondered if we were the same species. Sorry to say, but some people were total pieces of shit.
But anyway, my plan sounded perfect, right? Well atleast to me it did. I just want to be invisible and peacefully live my highschool life, without any drama of course.
I got up from my bed and lazily made my way towards the bathroom. I soon took a shower and got into my uniform.
I don't know why, but now I was slowly starting to feel nervous. What if I made a bad image on the very first day and became the centre of attention? What if someone from my middle school also goes to the same highschool as me?
I forced myself to get rid of such thoughts and made my way downstairs. It was quiet and empty. If you ignored the pictures on the wall and a few newspapers laying on the couch, you would think that no one lived here.
I walked towards the quiet kitchen, knowing my mother already left for work. She couldn't even stay to wish me luck on the first day of my highschool, huh?
Well, who was I expecting things from? I should probably get used to her at this point.
I quickly ate my breakfast and after grabbing my bag, wearing my shoes and locking the front door, I made my way towards my new school.
I grew more nervous with every step I took. I don't know why, but dread started to consume me. I didn't want my highschool life to be like my middle school life.
I didn't want to get bullied again.
It's okay. You got this.
I didn't even realise when I reached the gates of my school. Taking a deep breath, I made my way towards the entrance.
I observed the people around me. Everyone seemed so carefree. They looked excited when they spotted someone they knew, and waved towards each other. Some people walked in large groups, while a few walked alone, just like me.
Just then, a large groups of loud boys passed me. They all looked so happy and bright, joking around with each other and laughing loudly. They were getting a lot of stares from the people around them, but they didn't seem to care about that.
Honestly, I felt envious. I wish I could be so carefree like them. I wish I could laugh like them, not caring about the people around me.
Averting my eyes from the group, I quickly entered the building and looked for my classroom. It didn't take me long enough to find it, because a teacher helped me out.
Classroom 1-3. The place in which I was going to spend the rest of my year. I just hoped I made good memories here, and not bad ones like I already have.
I entered the classroom and took the third seat from front right next to the window. Only a few people were in the class. Rest were probably hanging out with their friends or waiting for someone they knew to come.
To my surprise, the loud group of boys that I saw at the gates entered the class.
"Quiet down boys! We're getting stares from people now!" A guy tried to hush the others down, but failed miserably. He looked like he was trying to scold them, but ended up laughing himself.
"Okay grandpa!" Another guy said, immediately mocking the previous guy, making the rest of the group laugh.
I didn't even realise that I was starting until I made an eye contact with one of the boys. I quickly averted my gaze, focusing it on the window instead.
I felt embarrassed for being caught staring at them, but they can't blame me because they were being too loud.
Typical boys. I scoffed.
Soon after, the teacher entered the class, and my first day of highschool began.
***
Before I realised, it was already lunch break. People made their way towards the cafeteria, most of them walking in groups.
I quietly packed my things and was just about to leave when the girl sitting behind me spoke up.
"You draw pretty well!" She said, eyeing the open notebook on my table in which I was scribbling earlier. I had just made a few doodles and a little dog, nothing special.
"Thank you," I replied, not knowing what else to say.
"Oh, I'm Eunseol, by the way! I hope we get along!" The girl brightly said, bringing her hand forward towards me.
I shook her hand with a small smile.
"I'm Iseul." I simply said.
"Wanna head to the cafeteria together? I don't really have any friends here...yet." She said sheepishly.
I so wanted to deny, wanting to stay alone, but the look she was giving me made it hard for me to say no. For some reason, she didn't seem like the typical self absorbed bitches that I've faced in my life.
She's cute.
"Sure." I said.
The whole time while we walked towards the cafeteria, she kept on rambling about random things. She told me about how she had to shift to Seoul recently because of her father's job, because of which she had to leave all her old friends behind back in Busan.
You would think I'll get bored, listening to her talking about so many things, but honestly, I quite enjoyed her company. She was fun to be with.
Maybe making one friend doesn't hurt. I'll just keep her around to hang out, nothing more.
Yeah, I was definitely not talking to her because I found her adorable.
"What about you? Where did you study before coming here? I bet you had a lot of friends!" Eunseol excitedly said.
"I... I was in a school not too far from here. And no, I didn't have that many friends." I said, laughing nervously.
The truth is that I didn't have a single friend, but she doesn't need to know that.
"Oh really? I thought you would be popular! You're really pretty." She said.
"You can't just keep on saying things like that!" I lightly hit her shoulder, laughing out of embarassment. She kept on throwing compliments like it was nothing.
"I see you're not too good at taking compliments, noted." She laughed brightly, making me smile as well.
Just then, we heard someone call her.
"Eunseol? Is that you?" A guy I recognised from my class approached our table. He was one of the boys from that loud and crazy group.
"Jeongin? Yang Jeongin? Is that you? Oh my god!" Eunseol got up from her seat and immediately enveloped the boy in a hug.
"Wow, it really is you! What are you doing here?" Jeongin asked her.
"It's a long story. But I'm so happy to see you!" She squealed in excitement.
"Um, Eunseol?" I silently spoke up, bringing her back to reality. She immediately let go of the boy and invited him to sit with us. A lot of people were staring, which made her blush.
"Oh, that's right! Jeongin, meet my new friend, Iseul!" She said.
"Wow, you made a friend already?" He said, looking amused. He bowed towards me, giving me a small smile. "I hope we get along!"
This boy, Jeongin, he had the same vibe like Eunseol.
"Well, what else do you expect from the great Kim Eunseol?" She said , dramatically flipping her hair. "Iseul, this is Yang Jeongin, my silly friend from elementary school." She said, ruffling his hair and earning a groan from him.
"Oh please, if we had to pick the silly one from among us, it would be you!" Jeongin playfully said.
The two of them continued bickering for a long time. I actually enjoyed it. I was so used to people not talking to me and being alone, that I forgot how it felt to have people around.
But as much as I liked this feeling, I knew that I could never be happy for a long time. If these people found out who I really was, they would be no different.
I excused myself just then to get some water.
But when I was on my way back, I accidentally bumped into someone and fell back. That person's coffee fell on me, and my brain immediately began recalling an incident from years ago.
"Oh no! I'm so sorry, I accidentally spilled my juice on you!" The girl smirked as she tried to fake an apology.
"Aw babe, don't worry. She kinda deserves it." Her boyfriend said, holding her by waist and laughing along with the rest of the group.
"Well, why are you just sitting on the floor? Get your ugly face out of my sight!" The girl snapped at me.
I felt horrible. The sticky juice was uncomfortably sitting on my skin, and I didn't have a change of clothes. The people in the cafeteria gathered around us, and all I could hear were the sounds of them mocking me.
"Yeah, leave, you pathetic criminal!" A person from the crowd spoke up.
"Why is someone like her even allowed to be at our school?"
"She should just kill herself."
My mind was starting to go blank. I didn't know what to do. It was too much for my 14 year self to handle, so I ran.
I ran until I found and empty classroom and cried my heart out. I cried at my terrible luck, and I cried for being alive.
I wish I could just die.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." I kept on mumbling. The boy standing in front of my offered me his hand, but I didn't take it. I was too scared to look at him in the eye.
I suddenly felt suffocated. I wanted to be out of that place. A crowd slowly gathered around us, and I felt people staring at me.
No. Not this again. Not right now.
I immediately got up and started to run towards the exit. I heard Eunseol call my name but I didn't stop.
I just wanted to run away. From everything. It was getting harder to breathe with every passing minute. I hated it. Tears slowly started forming in my eyes. I heard someone calling my name but I didn't stop. I ran until I reached the rooftop.
I desperately tried to push away the rushing memories, but it was no use. I felt helpless once again. I was alone again.
All I could do was cry, so I cried. I cried my heart out, just like I did all those years ago.
But this time, I couldn't stay alone for too long. Because, the next moment I heard the door open and someone hurried towards me, enveloping me in a tight hug.
I tightly shut my eyes and let myself be hugged by whoever it was.
It feels warm.
"It's okay, Iseul. I'm here. You can relax." Eunseol's soft voice surrounded me, instantly making me feel at ease. I don't know for how long I cried in her arms, but she didn't complain once. She just peacefully rubbed my back and muttered comforting words to me.
It was only after around ten minutes when I sensed another person's presence on the rooftop other than Eunseol's.
Eunseol slowly let go of me and held both of my hands.
"Iseul, this Minho. He came here to apologise."