The next night, I popped out of the bathroom and was greeted by Atlas. He was still dressed in a plain gray t-shirt and black trousers. Both of us looking different in attire. I was already getting ready for bed while he looked like he was ready to go out.
Looking at him reminded me of the night when I first woke up from the crystal. The dark and mysterious looks in his crimson eyes were mesmerizing. Looking into his eyes makes my heart skip with each beat. I found myself drawn to him like a moth to flame. The familiar midnight curls fell over his forehead, and eyes felt like they were piercing through my soul.
"Let's go out," he said.
I looked down at my body. I had on silk pajamas.
"I'm not exactly ready to go out."
Atlas chuckled before walking up to me. His right hand popped out from behind him, and I saw he had picked out a summer dress.
"Put this on. We'll only be out for a couple of hours."
I followed along with him. I slipped on the maroon summer dress. My hair was still damp from the shower. I kept it down to dry.
When we made it outside, Atlas walked over and swept me up from my feet. Surprised, I wrapped my hands around his neck.
"What are you doing?" I asked quickly.
"Hold on tight if you don't want to fall," he whispered, looking down at me.
In seconds, the wind whipped around me. He was running at a superhuman speed. Street lights flashed all around me, but it felt like we weren't even there. No one could spot us. Not with human eyes, at least.
I turned my attention back to Atlas, and he was still looking ahead of us. His hair whipped back from the window. It allowed me to see the sharpness of his cheekbones and jawline. The man was born with a perfect facial structure. I moved to cup his cheek, and that caught his attention.
Atlas stopped to look down at me, and I retracted my hand. Our eye contact remained for another minute. I couldn't look away.
Suddenly, I blinked and looked away.
"Where are we?"
He set me down on my feet.
"We are at a park. I saw this earlier today when I went to one of my meetings. I thought you might like it."
When did he become so sweet?
He grabbed my hand and led me to an open area, but I was still very private from the amount of trees growing around it.
"Sit down and lie back," he ordered, and I arched an eyebrow. One corner of his lips curved, and he urged me to lie back with a hand on my shoulder.
Flopping back, I looked up at the sky and noticed I was watching the stars through an opening in the trees. It looked beautiful and, honestly, brought back a lot of memories. My heart and throat felt tight. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop the onslaught of emotions. He fell onto the spot next to me. Together, we both looked up at the night sky.
"Do you like it?"
I nodded my head, not sure if he saw it or not. But I didn't dare talk. I knew he would hear the quiver in my voice, and I wasn't one to reveal my weaknesses.
"Thank you," I replied. I let the moment sink in as memories came rushing back.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"I am recalling a time when I used to do this with my sister. After dinner, we will run out into the fields of our village and stargaze. We'll each take turns pointing out a star and naming it. Other times, we would talk about our days or tell each other our secrets. I miss those days when I was normal and not who I am now. Things were just a lot simpler during those days."
I fought back the tears that were threatening to slip down my face. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued. I wanted to change the subject.
"Let me ask you something."
"What?" he asked.
"Do you think when people die, they turn into stars in the skies?"
Atlas was silent for a long time.
"I don't know what life after death would hold for us, but I would like to think that even when we die, we won't be gone forever."
It was a good enough answer for me. I didn't want to die, nor did I want to be gone forever. I experienced loneliness for a very long time. I saw people come and go. I had no friends or lovers. This curse stopped everything for me. Immortality? It was a death sentence with no beginning or end. It was torture. I would go back into the crystal for fifty years, only to be awake for 30 days and to realize that life has moved on without me.
"Why do you ask?" Atlas interrupted my thoughts.
"I'm just wondering," I murmured and could feel that my voice was getting hoarse from internally battling the tears. "During those times, I thought about being courted by the boys in our village, my future as a wife to someone in the village, and how many kids I would have. It sounds foolish now that I think about it, but I was a girl coming of age back then. Things were a lot simpler in those days."
"How old were you when you were taken?"
"Sixteen. My sister was twelve." I flopped onto my stomach and rested my face on his chest. "What about you?"
"Me? I was never normal. I'm a pureblood."
I gave a dry laugh at his response because I knew he wasn't normal.
"If you're asking me if I ever felt what you felt before what happened to you, the answer is yes. For the first thirty to forty years, I thought about finding my beloved mate and being happy. But even 120 years is long, even for an immortal. You begin to feel loneliness and life before you become duller by the second. You make friends, and you see them grow old and leave one by one."
If he told me this when I was human, I wouldn't have been able to relate. Now, I could relate to it in every way. There was this heavy weight in my heart. It felt like chains. Every time my heart beats against the chain, it bleeds a little. I don't know what to do.
Back then, I thought I had a lot of time. I didn't think too much about it. Now that death neared, I felt fear. I realized I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I haven't done what I wanted yet.
"Where are your parents?" I asked him.
"My parents died before I turned forty. I took over reign during that time, and Silas came to live with me."
"Are you two close?"
"Silas? We've been brothers since the day I was born."
"Are you two really brothers?" I flopped onto my stomach to look at him. He glanced my way.
"Silas is my cousin from my mother's side. After his parents' death, he came to live with me. We practically grew up together."
I looked at Atlas's features up close. The strong jawline contrasted the neckline so well that I couldn't stop my fingers from touching it. Atlas's eyes flicked to mine. I looked at him for a moment before returning my attention back to his jawline. I saw his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.
I traced his jawline to his chin before grazing my fingertips over his bottom lip. The paleness of his skin looked dull and gray, but somehow, this skin color matched him perfectly. My fingertips trailed to his prominent cheekbones and then to the corner of his eyes. The whites of his eyes were a beautiful contrast to his crimson eyes.
When I die...would he miss me?
My heart twisted as if a knife was plunged into my heart, and I realized my feelings for him ran deeper than anything I ever felt. How did I get myself into this situation?
One of his hands came up, and he gripped my wrist. He stopped me from exploring. I looked into his eyes, and I wondered if he could see the desperation and read my thoughts right now.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I forced a smile.
"Nothing."
He brought the back of my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss at the back of my hand. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pulled my hand back. I sat up and pulled my knees up to hug. From the corner of my eyes, I see he sat up with me.
"You have been acting differently."
I laughed before shaking my head in denial.
"You are overthinking. I am fine." I stood up and walked away. I didn't dare look at him. If he read more into me, I might spill the truth. I didn't want him to know anything.
Yet... I heard him following.
"Wait up."
I clenched my jaw and plastered a fake smile on my face before turning to face him. I know that my life was dimming by the second. If I do nothing about it, I'll be dead in under a week.
But how could I do this to Atlas?
He was the king of his race. He has a goal to protect his people and their future. If I traded my pathetic life for him, it wouldn't be an even trade. I am nobody special.
"I want to walk," I told him.
Atlas intertwined his fingers through mine, and together, we walked down the path of the park. We walked down the curved back until we came upon a bench facing the river. We both sat down on the bench.
"Was there any other place you would like to visit before we return home?" Atlas asked.
I didn't miss how he said home. In all honesty, his cold castle did feel a little like home. It was the closest I have ever felt to having a home in a long time.
"When I was human, my village was small and filled with woods, lakes, streams, and mountains. I used to look out the window of my bedroom and dreamed about walking down the beach and feeling the sand with my feet. I want to see the blue sea and ocean. If we have time... maybe we could do that." I looked at him.
He was already gazing in my direction. With one hand, he cradled my cheek and leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It was gentle. It made my heart quiver and my insides ball up. I leaned closer and placed my hands on the side of his neck. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I deepened our kiss by sweeping my tongue inside his mouth.
Atlas allowed me to dominate the kiss. He followed my lead with his tongue. Stroke after stroke, we tasted each other slowly. I broke the kiss when I felt my eyes stinging. I trailed my lips down his jaw and down to his neck. I sucked on his sensitive skin. I heard him inhale when my teeth bit down on his skin.
When I pulled back to look at him, desire and determination filled his eyes. It felt good to be in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. Atlas lifted me up before carrying me back to Lazarus's mansion with superhuman speed.