I woke up groggy as ever and shuffled in the kitchen. I had worn Troye's flannel pajama pants to bed and they were barely hanging on to my hip as i walked. He stood quietly, drinking his coffee while looking out the window. I went behind him, nuzzling my face into his back, wrapping my arms around his waist.
" Hey, cuddle bunch." He said.
" Hey, jay bird." I said in a raspy tone.
" You ready for today?" He said, grasping my hand.
" What's today again?" I asked.
" Your doctors appointment." He gulped.
" I cant go. The apartment's a wreck." I said extending my arms to show all the chaos that has happened.
" Connor, every day since we talked about the doctors appointment you have been cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. You haven't took a break from it. You didnt go to bed till 1 in the morning and you smelled like furniture polish." He said, tears arriving in his eyes.
" So i like to be tidy. So what?" I laughed.
" Connor, this is serious. You have a problem." He whined.
" Well, we will see at the doctors office." I huffed.
I made myself some coffee and eggs for both Troye and I. After finishing, I changed into my old sweatshirt that has paint splatters over it and jeans. Troye dragged me out to the car and he revved the engine.
" You ready?" He asked, putting his hand on my knee cap.
" Yeah." I said with shaky breathe.
" It's going to be ok. No matter what." He said, squeezing my leg.
I gave him a nervous smile in response.. The car ride was blared with music and we both sang, trying to shake off our nerves.
We entered the doctors office and we sat down on a hard, uncomfortable bench in front of a coffee table covered in scattered magazines. I starred at the unorganized mess in front of me and started to get frustrated. I looked at all the titles and stacked them in alphabetical order.
I looked over at Troye and he gave me a sad smile.
" I'm sorry tro." I said sullenly.
" Its ok. You cant help it." He whispered.
After we were left alone in the room after strangers passed by us after a nurse called them in, It was our turn.
" Mr. franta?" He called out.
My heart skipped a breathe and my breathe was caught. I stood up and my world felt like it was ending every step. Troye wrapped himself around my arm and anchored me back to earth.
The nurse walked us past rooms and led us into appointment room. Many elaborate paintings were hung all around making me calmer.
" The doctor will be here shortly." He said, closing the door.
I sat on the lounge chair covered in paper to keep it clean between patients and laid back. Troye sat on a wooden seat the left of me since the doctor would be to my right. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight.
After a while, a women in scrubs walked in and sat to my right.
" Hi Connor, Im doctor warren and whats wrong with you today?" She asked, turning around to her computer.
" My boyfriend wanted me to see if i had a diagnosable case of anxiety." I said looking over at Troye.
" Ok, do you feel you might have anxiety?" She said, turning back around on her swivel chair.
" No... yes? Im not sure." I said.
" That's ok." she said. " Do you get anxious a lot?"
" I would say that." i said while nodding.
" Have you had an anxiety and or panic attack?" She asked.
" I've had multiple panic attacks." I shivered at the thought of them.
" Ok. Do you have any compulsive behaviors when your nervous?" She asked, her eyes burning into me.
" Not that I know of." i said after long thought.
" Whats your name?" She said, turning to Troye.
" Oh um Troye." He muttered.
" Troye, sometimes people with compulsive behaviors don't notice that something has taken hold of them or they think they have it under control. Have you noticed anything Connor has been doing a lot?" She asked.
" He's been cleaning a lot lately." He said, almost confused as if he was allowed to say this.
" Can you elaborate?" She asked.
" Dusting, polishing, separating by color, size, number. Any type of cleaning he's done." He said looking at me.
" Ok connor. Do you ever get stage fright?" She asked, coming back at me.
" Yeah, sometimes." I said.
" Do you get shaky or your hands or feet get tingly when your about to have a panic attack?" She said, starting to type.
" Yes." I said, getting uncomfortable.
" Last question. Does your speech alter or mess up when you talk?" She asked.
" I stutter when I'm nervous." I spoke with a closing throat.
" Ok, I'll be back in a couple minutes." She talked as she got up and closed the door.
I sat in silence, starring at the wall aimlessly. i felt troye look over at me but i didn't want him to see me so stressed. Doctor warren walked back and sat down without a word. Thats a good sign.....
" Connor, You have contamination OCD and Social anxiety. I will set up an appointment with the best psychologist i know. I will give medicines to help control, but not cure your OCD and anxiety." She said handing me 2 slips of paper.
" Troye, You need watch Connor. If you think something is taking a step back in this process, call this number." She said, handing him a smaller slip of paper." Its mine."
" Any questions?" She asked.
" No." I said on the verge of tears.
" Ok then. You are free to go." She said cheerfully.
We walked out to the car and stayed quiet the whole trip home.
{}{}{ Troye's pov}{}}{}
" Connor, we need to talk about this!" I called as he fled to the kitchen.
" No we dont!" He yelled.
" Connor, you need to let out your frustration." I said, grabbing his hand.
" Im not frustrated." He said, putting on a clearly fake smile.
" You arent a little sad, angry, or dissapointed?" I asked.
" Why me?! Huh?! What made me such a bad person that i deserved this? Not one but 2 mental Diseases!" He screamed, his face getting red.
"You know, I've met a lot of strong people in my life. Not one of them have had an easy life. You just happen to be the strongest." I said, hitting my index finger against his nose.
" Its just not fair." He whimpered.
I wrapped him in my arms and swayed back and forth till i got the words to say.
" I know" I said before kissing him.", but we'll get through it together."
_______________________________________________ authors note____________
Hi guys! I wanted to thank you guys for 3,000 reads on this book! Thank you so much!
Anyways, i would like to do so promo for DaniSivan. She has such a writing technique and shes literally so sweet and nice. She helped make major decisions for this book and her book ' Adopted By Tronnor' is incredible. Im addicted and im dissapointed it only has 1k. i deserves much more. please check it out. you wont regret it.
Love you my smilies!
Xoxo, Morgan.