"Cassidy here?" Lamarcus leaned against the door and I opened the door.
"So is your sister don't come in here with that crazy shit." I stopped and looked at him. "What is going on man? Why you treating her like that?"
"Like what?" They all looked like their mom, it's something about their eyes that give them this innocence and adorable look.
Their eyes are so big and brown.
"Like she is crazy when we both know it's you."
" I am not doing anything to her, I am loving her. I love her, she is driving me crazy. She wants me to stop being who I am, she wants me to be normal. I'm not normal. I have never been normal. She acts as if I'm not good enough for her. I love her and she's going to except me or nobody. Or I'm going to kill her."
"Stop saying that sh-"
"I mean it."
" no, you don't, you are a better person now. You have evolved since you came down here. You cannot hurt the people you love. That is not how you love someone, love is soft and caring and considerate and compassionate. You cannot say you love her in the treat her that way. Are you sure you even love her? Do you love her or are you just being possessive? I mean no one can really judge you, you guys are in the very beginning, beginning stages. Love is slow and gentle."
" I do mean it." He shrugged. " she cannot treat her like she loves me, and then just tries to get away. That's not how life works. She cannot do that to me."
" you're pushing her to do that, you are not loving her how she needs to be loved. If you love her the way that she needs to be loved I can promise you she will never go anywhere. You cannot make her feel like shit for loving you and then expect her to keep loving you the way that she do. Something has to change and that something if it's not you it's going to be her."
"What am I supposed to do? How do I do it?" He asked and I sighed. "Tell her she is beautiful?"
"Every chance you get, but that is not the thing that goes into a happy relationship. To take her feelings into consideration. So somethings about you are going to have to change. You cannot be afraid of change, you're not such a great person, so change may help you. You can stick to you really are but you can be better. I know you can be better. You are capable of so much more than what you put out into the world." He nodded. " plus you also have kids, but them as well. How many kids do you have?"
" one boy, and one girl, by the same mom, even though somebody at one of the parties was telling me that I have nine kids. Most people have said that I don't know where that idea came from. I want to kill him."
"But..." I dragged out.
"But... I am a changed man." I nodded.
"See you are getting it. Come on." I started walking, "hold up. Take everything out your pocket." He sighed.
Started pulling hella shit out his pocket and then his took his gun of his waist ban.
"That is it." I nodded.
We walked in the living room and the girls we laughing sitting Indian style. They been in here since we got back.
"Yes, I never would have thought that he-" Amil looked at and stopped mid sentence. "Hey buddy."she got up.
"Hey bubbles." He walked of to her and hugged her carefully but firmly.
He stop back and all of our attention rested on Cassie.
"Come on Amil, you are missing the good part." She continued to look at the TV.
"Cassie..." he laughed.
"Leave me alone." She shook her head. "Amil can you-" he squatted down in front of her.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Because you act the way that you act. You are so- just leave me alone." She sighed.
"Baby look I am sorry, okay I will be good. I promise. I didn't sleep with that girl. I would-" she dropped her head and Amil made her way over there.
"Amil come." I waved her over and she stared at me. "Let him handle this." She watched them for a second and she hesitated, but eventually made her way to me.
"He is just starting at her cry." Amil sighed.
"He got this, he is going to have to learn now or later. He really likes her." She nodded.
"Cassie I am sorry." He wrapped his arms around and picked lifted her to her feet.
"Lamarcus please stop doing this." She cried. "You don't have to make me feel like shit everyday. I don't do anything to you."
"That is not my goal Cassie, I don't know what you go through and I am so sorry that I don't pay attention to what I say or what I do. I just be me and in no way, shape or form do I purposely try to make you feel bad."
" you say that, but look how you talk to me and look how treat me. The only time that you do like me is before and after we fuck. you are always flipping the table on me trying to make it seem like I did something bad to you or I did something fucked up to you when you do everything to me. I'm not gonna just sit back and let you say and do whatever you want to me."
Cassie is slipping on her pimpingggggg... she is just like me. These niggas will fuck you good and fuck with your mind. I don't blame her. Lamarcus is definitely going to be a challenge for her, but she has always made it clear that she loves a challenge.
"She in the deep end baby." Josh sighed and I nodded in agreement. "He will change though."
"You think so?"
"Yea, her likes her, he might even love her. Is he like a sociopath or psychopath?" I laughed. "What?"
"I don't know but I was thinking that too. He is nuts, maybe I could ask my mom." Josh shrugged and we watch them.
" because I don't want to have to leave you, but at some point I'm going to have to leave. I'm going to have to get my shit together because I'm not losing myself trying to help you find yourself. Sex is not that serious and that's really the only thing that we have going. We can scream up and down that we love each other, but do we really love each other?" She spoke and he wiped her face. "You better stop threatening me."
"It's not a thr-"
"Lamarcus stop!" Cassie yelled "you can kill me because things are not going your way."
"Okay I won't, I won't. We will handle things differently." He motioned with his hands. "I can't kill you, I like you and I love you and I care about you. I don't wanna lose you. I am very cautious. I don't cheat on you because I know that you will want to leave me. I go out with my friends and we have fun. I don't do anything, I don't drink, I don't do drugs... anymore. I can't even smoke weed. This fucking stupid ass program they have me in is helping. I am not going to ruin my life again. I just wanna have a good time for all those times that I couldn't have a good time. I feel like my life has just begun and I am so happy that I met you and I couldn't be more pleased, it's just that you are in one ear and they are in another. This is the first time that I have friends and I was actually enjoying being outside. I don't want to stop right now. At all. Experiencing life without drug is a great feeling. Please don't take that away from me. Don't make me feel bad for that." She nodded.
"Okay I am sorry."he kissed her and I frowned up my face.
"Ew." It just spill out my mouth and I covered my mouth and looked at Joshua who was cracking the fuck up.
"Your fucking face." Joshua laughed deeply.
"I am trying to fuck my lady so if-"
"Marcus don't say that." Cassie punched him.
"It's a guest room upstairs, last room on the right."
"I am not having sex with you. You always do this." Cassie shook her head.
"You not fucking me?" She giggled at the smirk that sat on his face . "I'll do the fucking baby, it's fine."
"No."
"Okay let's go talk." He took off his leather jacket. "Oh shit." He take of his holster with his gun in it.
"Didn't I tell you to leave that shit out there."
"I forgot Jo. Here." He gave the hoaster to Joshua. "Oh." He take the gun from the back of his pants.
"What the fuck is going on with you?" I asked and he shrugged.
I looked at Cassie who was under a spell of lust. She was gone. It was disgusting.
He grabbed her and down near dragged her ass away.
"They be fucking." I laughed and Joshua shook his head.
"Your brother is cool." I nodded. "He is capable of a lot more than he puts out. He is right though, his life is just starting and he is experiencing it in a different lens. He just need some time to have fun. He will resent her if she stops his life." I nodded.
"Cassie has always had it hard with men, like after she lost her Daughter. It's good to see her give it a try. I mean she got some work cut out for her but she got it. She picked the worst pick."
"He is going to get better. He is just has to adapt. He is trying, he stopped the drugs and he is learning new ways." I nodded.
"Well just wait and see."