CHAPTER TWELVE
She Knows
Cersei's POV
*SMUT WARNING*
(If SMUT is not for you, please skip over Cersei and Ned's interaction, although you will miss out on some vital information.)
Lord Varys smells strongly of funeral flowers and it makes my stomach turn to even be near him. I only suffer through it for the information he brings me. Since the day I moved to King's Landing I had been warned by my father to gather all the spies and allies I could within the court. Varys was the first of the many spies that I've gained during my time here.
"Your Grace," Varys said with a bow. "I have many of reports for you."
"Such as?" I clicked my tongue as I motioned my hand for him to sit and join me in my chambers.
"Thank you, Your Grace." Lord Varys replied. "Well for starters there will be a new baby to be born in just a few moons."
"Lady Stark?" I asked. "Or did Tyrion knock up that whore?"
Varys smirked and shook his head. "Better... Juicer than that."
My heart sank. "No," I replied. "No, she can't be that stupid. She can't be like me-"
"Aye, Your Grace. But she is." Varys said. "Alana Baratheon is with child and is due within the next 6 or 7 moons."
"Robb Stark is the father, I assume?" I felt blank.
Empty. Worthless. Had I taught the girl nothing? From the time she was a small girl she always looked up to me. I tried my best to show her what a good life was, I tried to be the mother that she had ripped away from her the moment she was born, she did not ask to be thrown here in King's Landing... But I took her in anyway.
Now... She's me all over again and she does not even know it. In love with one of the Starks and expecting his bastard child. I wanted to hug her and yet I also wanted to smack her upside the head for what she's done to herself.
Not even just herself. But to her child and Robb Stark.
Varys smiled. "He will be delighted."
"Perhaps the Young Wolf will be... But what of Robert Baratheon? What of Ned? He is to be a grandfather and has no idea-"
"There is more for you and your lover to worry about right now." Varys added. "Alana knows of your children. Including Jon Snow."
I gagged and covered my mouth with my hand as I gasped for air softly. I was going to collapse. Going to be sick. Going to die. The room was spinning and yet- and yet it was frozen. Alana knew... But how... How could she have found out?
"How-"
"Your brother." Varys tapped the table top. "Seems to me like Jaime Lannister would do and say anything to be with Lady Alana Baratheon, including divulge in his sister's sins, bringing them to the daylight. It was fairly simple for me to weasel it out of her, I wonder... Who else will weasel the information out of her... Maybe Robert?"
I drained a cup of wine down my throat quickly, not even getting a taste for it at how quickly I chugged it, slurping it down. Wiping my mouth with my sleeve, I stared at Varys as the rage boiled inside of me.
"Alana is dangerous now. Her pregnancy will make her change in more ways than others. If you do anything in the slightest to upset her she easily could run to Robert and reveal that you have 4 bastard children-"
"They are not bastards." I grit through my teeth. "They are Starks and I love them. All of them."
"Loving a child does not make it any less a bastard."
"What is your point Varys?" I felt myself shaking.
Lord Varys chuckled. "You need to get rid of her."
I laughed loudly. "No."
"Your Grace, she holds a big secret of yours and spilled it to me just like this," He then took his cup of wine and poured it onto the floor.
The puddle of wine sitting there was a reminder of what Alana knew. I looked into it and saw my reflection. Saw what was truly beneath that beautiful face of mine. My children are Stark children. They are fathered by Ned and even Ned's son, Jon Snow- he was not mothered by some mystery woman... He was mothered by me and only me.
Birthing him and only having him for a few weeks before having to hand him over to Ned and then be forced to pretend as though I hadn't ripped myself open birthing that beautiful baby boy was torture.
There still was resentment in my heart for my father for forcing me to send my baby away. Still fresh and new while I bled under my gowns as he was placed into the arms of Ned Stark who had to them act as though we were not in love. Bringing that baby to Riverrun to meet his wife that he had completely forgotten about.
Only to discover that she birthed him a trueborn son while he was fighting Robert's battle for him. When the raven came from Riverrun to my father, because it could not be addressed to me- I nearly fainted. Feeling ill at the thought of Catelyn Tully and Ned Stark raising the boys together. Like a perfect family...
The family I should have had all along.
Just for me to be sold off to Robert Baratheon. The day that Ned Stark came to be Robert's Hand just weeks after war had ended and right after our wedding... It felt like a punch to the gut. To have to watch my son, my sweet Jon, grow from a distance.
To watch as myself and Lady Stark would be expecting not far off from one another. Especially with Myrcella and Tommen while Lady Stark was expecting Arya and Brandon. I wanted to try for one more.. Just one more... But rather Catelyn got to experience pure joy by having Rickon... The little boy who should have been mine.
"What am I to do, Varys? Behead the girl?" I scoffed. "I am the only mother she knows."
"A daughter would not betray her own mother the way the girl has betrayed you. Same with your brother, your own twin brother." Varys replied.
I rolled my eyes.
"Perhaps they are perfect for one another." I said to amuse the spider. "Shall we send them back to Casterly Rock to be wed?"
Varys smiled. "If the two are already in the game of sharing secrets perhaps it would be best to see that they are far apart. Send Alana to Winterfell to wed Benjen Stark. Have her freeze her little ass off up there where she can never reveal your children's parentage to anyone. She will be too busy trying to get herself in Benjen's bed in order to cover up her own pregnancy."
"That is evil." I replied.
Sentencing the girl to a life of misery because she may or may not spill a secret to Robert? I trust her to make the right choice. Even if Lord Varys does not.
"She is hardly 20 years of age." I added. "I can not ruin her life over something that may happen or may not happen."
"Robert will slay you and your children should he learn the truth. He will slay Ned Stark as well and maybe even his other children. Do you wish for that to be their fate? Do you want their blood on your hands, Your Grace?"
I shook my head silently.
"Send the girl away." Varys added. "Although I hear she may be going to Highgarden soon to join Margaery Tyrell."
"Margaery has sent word today to Robert that she is with child, what does that have to do with Alana?" I asked.
"Renly wants his sister to stay with his wife by her side as she gives birth-"
"I have an even better idea, Lord Varys. Allow me to speak with Lord Stark first and then we can all meet, the three of us, and discuss this. Meet me in the tunnel by the dungeons tomorrow at midnight."
-
Ned was beaming with joy. Clearly his son had told him the news, news that I was not supposed to know but I knew that if Robb had told Ned, that Ned would trust in me. I just had to pretend that I did not already know.
"You are so very happy right now," I said as Ned kissed my lips. "Did something happen?"
He pulled away slightly and ran his hand through my hair. Pinning me against the wall and smiling as he did so. "Robb is to be a father," He grinned. "I a grandfather, and you would be-"
"An aunt." I breathed out annoyed. "I am not the babe's grandmother unless you allow for me to make the call, Ned."
"I decided yes." Ned replied. "Robert must go down first and then we can take care of Cat."
I furrowed my brows and stared at him as he began to lift my skirt. Placing his hand on my inner thigh which was soon completely covered in goosebumps. I stiffened my back as I tried my best not to moan out.
"N-Ned," I bit my lip. "It would make more sense for Cat to be taken care of first."
His fingers darted inside of me, pumping slowly but with much force. I tossed my head back and grunted in pleasure, trying to catch my breath. Feeling as his hands that have won many of victories, claimed lives, and built a home, pleased me.
"How would you do so?" He said as he breathed into my ear. "How would you take care of that situation?"
I moaned as his wine scented breath filled my airways. Gripping the back of his neck with my hands as he continued to pump in and out of me, his thumb rubbing right against my clit and making me struggle to breath as I fought back against the on-coming orgasm.
"I-" Another moan released as I tossed my head back. "Tears of Lys. No one would ever know."
Ned lifted my by my thighs and place my skirts up higher around my waist, bringing he and I to eye level as he inserted himself into me, kissing me passionately and throwing his tongue to the back of my mouth. My teeth searching for his bottom lip to get a little nibble, but I could not focus on anything else, just him being there. In me.
I gripped onto him for dear life, the last thing I wanted was for my bare skin to touch the floor of this filthy tunnel. Who knows what sort of illness or disease I could pick up from just skin to skin contact with it.
"I love you, Ned." I said to him as I broke free from our kiss to take in a bit of air.
As his hands pressed into my skin, he grunted loudly as he tossed his sweat covered head backward, his length staying firm although I felt it twitch inside of me as he released. Coming in me and then easily, he dropped me back to my feet. Adjusting his breeches as I adjusted my hair and skirts.
"I love you Cersei Lannister, since the very first day." He replied.
"Since the very first day..." I repeated.
"I'm going to speak with Robert, I want him to rush the wedding for Alana and Robb." Ned said as he ran his hand through his sweat soaked hair. "Bad enough I have bastard children, one who is known as the bastard of Ned Stark, the last thing I want is for Robb to be known as the Stark with a bastard too."
"She knows, Ned." I blurt out. "Alana knows about the children. All of them... My brother told her and she then shared that with Varys."
"But Lord Varys already knew-"
"And she did not know that he knew..." I replied. "At first I didn't want to send her away but I fear that now we must, especially if we are truly conspiring to rid our lives of Robert and Catelyn, we must protect ourselves."
"Do you think Robb knows too? Surely Alana must have told him but he has not acted different toward me, he's been kinder than usual but-"
"Of course he knows!" I shouted. "Why wouldn't she tell him? She is in love with the boy!"
Ned's eyes darkened. "I can not hurt my son."
"I'm not asking you to do anything to your son, Ned. I'm asking for you to talk to your best friend. Tell him that he must send Alana to Winterfell to wed Benjen Stark. Or even send her to Casterly Rock to wed my brother. Anyone but Robb." I crossed my arms and could hardly look him in his eyes.
"And take away my son's chance to be a father? Take away his family that he has made? Cersei just because it was done to us does not mean we can do it to someone else. I will not have my son live in the same pain that I do-"
"It is not safe for us!" I argued.
"You always say you wish to protect the girl! You say you would never wish upon her to be sold off the way you were sold and shipped off to Robert Baratheon! But look at you now!" Ned argued back with me. Rage filling his face that was usually so full of love.
Although Ned was right and I did not want him to be, I could not deny it. All I've ever wanted for Alana was to have more than what I had. For her to live a better and happier life. Taking that away from her would be going back on everything that I'd ever wished for her, but I now needed to think of my actual daughter, Myrcella. She needs her real father. She needs to be safe and never fear of being murdered simply for being Ned's child and not Robert's.
Alana needed to start thinking for herself and her bastard child. I could not be bothered to worry myself sick for her anymore. It was time I became selfish for myself and for my children, Jon included. He is my son and I need to get closer to him, so when Ned breaks the news to him, it will soften the blow.
"Fine." I grunted. "Speak to Robert. But just know if anything happens to our babies, it is their blood that will rest on your hands, Eddard Stark!"
-
Walking through the corridor I passed by my brother who looked at me and tried to fake a grin but I could see that it had pained him. Giving him a dirty look, I could not look away. Disgusted with him that he spilled my secret and blew my trust just to try to sleep with a girl who does not want him. A girl who carried a bastard in her.
"Cersei," Jaime bowed his head.
"Cunt." I replied.
"Woah-"
I grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him into an empty room and closed the door. Pointing my finger in his face as I grit my teeth together in rage. Someone was going to be a victim of all my pent-up emotions and unfortunately for Jaime, it was to be him.
"How dare you!" I seethed. "How dare you even attempt to look me in the eyes as though you did not betray me! Betray my trust and betray your nephews and niece!"
"What are you-"
"Alana told Lord Varys what you shared with her last night!" I hissed. Still keeping a grip on him as my finger grew closer and closer to his face.
Jaime laughed loudly. "She's known for a while about Joff, Tommen, and Myrcella! She only didn't know about Jon Snow until I told her."
"Jon is my son and I will not risk his life because you thought that by telling Alana, that you'd get your dick wet!" I didn't realize I had done it, but I slapped Jaime so hard across the face. My palm stinging as he grew red already where I had hit him.
It was an eerie silence until Jaime laughed again. "Joke is on you Cersei, because Alana has just packed her trunk and leaves tomorrow for Highgarden. I will be attending with her as she waits by Lady Margaery. We will return in a few moons so you have until then to get your shit together."
"And what of Robb Stark?"
"What of him?" Jaime rolled his eyes. "The boy is staying here, Robert denied him to go. Robert also denied Robb's proposal."
"Why!?" I snapped.
Clearly Benjen Stark had asked for Alana's hand. Which was strange to me because he did not seem interested in the slightest. Although if Benjen had asked for her hand, her going to Highgarden did not make a drop of sense.
"Because I asked and was approved on the spot." Jaime shrugged. "Alana will be your sister no matter what." He winked. "And her bastard will be my child, blood or not. And there's nothing you can do about it."
Jaime enjoyed taunting me at this point. He knew it enraged me knowing how unsafe all of this had become.
I should have never trusted him but even less so, I should have never put any of my trust in Lord Varys. But I needed to know how Alana pieced it all together but I didn't dare ask her directly, no- I needed to get Jaime to find out. Or even Varys.
"I will tell Robert the truth-"
"And I will tell Robert the truth of your children Cersei, do not play this game with me. Robert is about to be a very busy man, you see- I did not know that Robb Stark being denied a proposal to Alana Baratheon meant he'd rebel against the crown. He sits in silence now but surely the boy will make a move soon." Jaime explained. "If anything you should be thanking me and Alana, Robb Stark too actually."
"Why is that?" I scoffed.
"Because if Robert wants a battle with Robb Stark... Who do you think will win? The Young Wolf or the Fat Old Stag?" Jaime laughed again.
A fair point. Robert has not lifted anything but a cup of wine or a fork to his lips since his rebellion. His war-hammer has stayed on display in his chambers since he returned from the Trident after killing Rhaegar Targaryen.
Robb Stark trains with a sword daily and has even began giving lessons to the younger boys, Joffrey and Tommen included. At first I had been weary of the idea of a boy as young and inexperienced as Robb to be teaching my children how to swing a sword until I remembered it is in their DNA, they are Starks. They are naturally good fighters.
"Robb Stark would kill Robert." I said softly.
Jaime nodded.
"So if Robb fights Robert in Alana's honor-"
"Robert will die and you can wed Lord Stark, so long as you dispose of his current wife. It would be a marriage that would unite the realm." Jaime shrugged. "Then Alana may wed Robb and raise their child without question from anyone. Except perhaps Stannis, I hear he is rather displeased with all of this that is going on. I fear we may have a visit from him in King's Landing soon enough."
"Ugh," I grunted. "Another Baratheon that I can not stand the sight of."
"He isn't nearly as bad as you think. He's just not as fun as Robert and that's why Robert dislikes him. You may like Stannis, he's as uptight and a cunt as you are."
"Fuck off." I slapped him again.
"You are asking for poor karma at this point." Jaime straightened himself up and then left the room, slamming the door behind him.
I waited a few minutes before I too, left the room. Wandering down the corridors when I heard two voices. One was Alana's and the other was Robb Stark's. And they did not sound happy with each other, not one bit...
It was wrong of me to sit back and listen, but I could not find it in me to just walk away. I needed to know why they were unhappy. Why were they arguing? What could such lovebirds be so angry about? Perhaps Robb Stark was not as happy about the bastard as he had seemed? Or maybe he was not the father after all?
Listening carefully and even trying to not breathe too loud, I held my breath and backed myself so firmly against the wall, I prayed that I'd blend in with it completely...