The air today is sweeter than anything I'd ever tasted. No breeze, no ice pinching my nose and trying to slip me from beneath. Just a hot summer night on an estate worlds away from the city.
I close the front door and and look up at the stars ablaze against the sky. Bunching up my floor length dress in my hands, I go down the three steps outside the mansion but slow when I realise how much my dress twinkles in the dark.
It's just like the sky, midnight blue and sparkly. Silas is the one who it bought for me so I want to hate it but I can't, I love everything about it. The long, tight sleeves. The way its loose below where it hugs my waist, making it flow like water.
Once I pull my eyes off my dress and reach the driveway, my eyes momentarily meet with Silas's as he leaves his car, slamming his door shut.
I fight a swallow and can't help but be intimidated by his unwavering stare. Right now, he looks like everything that's going to destroy me one day, if I let him. A jawline as sharp as his not so hidden knife. Dark eyes that don't even have to look at me to make me ache.
I said I felt nothing for him. I wish it was truth.
I start moving again and ignore the flutter in my stomach when he drops his gaze over the curves of my waist, before pulling them up to my face.
"Red?" He asks, eyes focused on my lips.
"Thought I'd go for your favourite colour." I reply as I walk past him, and kind of expected it when he grabs my hand and stops me. "Que? Does it turn you on? There's plenty more where that came from."
His lips twitch and he puts his hand into the pocket of his coat, pulling it out to reveal something silver and shiny - my wedding ring.
My expression goes smug. "I'm wearing Leone's." I tell him and try pulling my wrist away but he only pulls it closer, also moving my entire body.
My lips part as my chest brushes his muscled front. I lower my eyes to where he holds my hand and keep them there before forcing myself to meet his gaze again. He slowly pulls my hand up between us and his rough fingertips graze mine as he opens my fist. A curl of longing forms inside me at the intensity of his touch.
Silas does everything with a cold heart but when it comes to me, he has the warmth and urgency of a flame. I shouldn't be as afraid of that as I am right now, but I can't help it.
My mother never showed affection to me, neither did my Papa and now every time Silas touches me, I don't know how to act. Maybe its why I tried pushing him away before.
Silas slides the ring on my finger, and my chest rises high with a slow, steady inhale. I never thought I'd have my engagement ring forced on. How romantic.
As he runs his thumb along the shiny band, vehemence lights at the backs of his eyes. Something that looks like sleepless nights, hands in my hair and a smell so familiar I could drown in it.
"Until this marriage is over you're my wife."
He drops my hand, and for a second his calm and collected facade too before he brings it back and gestures to the car. Tense and frustrated, I allow him to open my car door.
The entire drive I don't dare look in his direction, and we only exchange a few words when he tells me where this dinner is taking place - a luxurious restaurant on the ground floor of a skyscraper in the flashy, rich side of New York.
From there on I dread this night knowing I'll have to deal with snobby old-money inheritors who'll at first, greet me nicely in front of Silas before their real colours show. They'll corner me once he's distracted and ask me questions about my life.
Why did he marry you? Does he cheat? Oh you have an accent? Don't worry, it'll fade.
It happens every. Time.
When we finally get to the restaurant named Knives, yes, Knives, me and Silas walk in pretending to be a real married couple. The place is new, and way cosier than I thought. It's lined with giant windows looking out onto the streets, so I can stare outside the whole time, oh and there's a candle on each wooden table.
As per the seating plan, everyone is sat at different tables in groups of guests, so unfortunately I have to sit next to someone - A woman who doesn't acknowledge me and just keeps looking at Silas.
After eating dinner - a salad too small to fill an adults stomach - everyone leaves their tables and scatter around the restaurant to mingle with each other. I'm the only one left at my table, but I don't want to talk to anyone so I stand. Maybe a walk would be nice?
As I stroll towards the restaurant doors, Silas catches my eye from across the room. His gaze hardens as it follows me, and before I can reach the door...he's there.
Seriously? Did he just leave the man talking to him to stand in front of me?
I cross my arms. I know what he's thinking - I'm not armed and there's no bodyguards around to guard me. Going into the street alone at this time isn't safe, but he threw me into prison. He shouldn't care about my safety now.
"I want some air." I tell him sternly.
His expression remains still for a long time as if he's rethinking his words, before he says "I'll go with you."
Wow. I wasn't expecting that. I walk past him and push the glass door open, stepping out from the AC into the quiet, hot street. There's a dead end at the end of this road meaning there's not much traffic around, but I can still hear cars elsewhere.
When he steps out, he doesn't look at me. He stops himself a small distance from me and slides his hands into his pockets, staring at the road ahead of us.
One of my heels hurt, so I take one off and balance myself on one foot as I adjust the strappy part of the shoe. My foot wobbles, I lose my balance and I gasp as I go hurdling to the ground before he grabs my waist with one hand, pulling my against him.
My eyes widen at my stupidity.
"Six months...and you're still a klutz."
Klutz? I try to push him off me but lose my balance again and he grabs my hips to steady me.
This time, my body presses against his...and his words are right against my ear, deep and breathy.
"In your defence its not a long time."
"Its long enough to change how you feel about someone."
There's something significant about the time he takes to answer. "Not always."
I look away at the road, and he slowly slides his hand into the side of my hair. I can hear how uneven his breaths are, and wonder why.
Silas's palms singe through the fabric of my dress right onto my hips. The heat corners me, until I'm so breathless I have no choice but to give in to him some way. My hands slide down to his over my waist, begging and praying everything I felt this past year was a lie...but it wasn't.
My chest caves at his touch. He's feels so familiar, smells so good I could bury myself in his collar but reality pulls me out of my haze. I move my hands from his.
"Don't be pathetic." I breathe, and pull back to meet his eyes. "I'm not in love with you anymore but if you still want to play the same old game, go on."
I try to step back but when he keeps me still, I don't even think before I grab his gun and shoot the window of the restaurant. Glass explodes everywhere, crashing down onto the pavement. I know, I'm a bitch. It seems like I can only handle the world this way.
"You can pay for that. I'm going to the car, si?"
His face turns to stone as I hand him his gun and turn on my back.