~ Silas pov ~
I realised something today; I'm never giving my fucking men another place to hang out.
After our day of busting a rival gang, we gathered here at my old compound. It's been a few years since I last came here only for me to see what these Goddamn animals did to the place.
They tore the dark leather couches, stained the wooden floorboards, and ripped some of the wallpaper off. It looks like an abandoned vampire lounge, but I needed to go somewhere that invoked nostalgia.
Somewhere that reminded me of who I was before she wrecked my life.
Just me, a handful of my men and some of my cousins including Renzo, who won't stop spitting out his unfunny jokes.
I throw another dart to the board, and sink down in my place on the couch. Laughter erupts around the room from the men gathered around the bar, howling at something Renzo says. I'd be there too, but I'm the the only one in here sober and not insane.
"You think about it yet?" Cousin Lombardo sits himself on the couch near mine, resting his arm along the back of it. "The weekend's coming up."
I throw another dart. "Not in the mood to leave the city."
"You agreed-"
"Not anymore. Don't mention Chicago to me again."
His mouth presses into a thin line and he pushes the butt of his cigarette against the already ruined couch. Lombardo knows not to pester me about it again, so he keeps silent. Unlike my other cousin.
"Its because his wife left him!" Renzo bursts out. As the chatter around the room cuts dead, I lift my head to look at Renzo sitting on the bar. His smile fades a little upon meeting my eyes, but I'm not holding anything against him. He was born an idiot.
The silence goes on long as he avoids my gaze and looks at the bar table. Long enough for me to hear one somebody else's remark. "She's a dumb bitch anyway."
My eyes snap onto the men with disbelief. I think I'm dreaming cause nobody in this room is stupid, or so I thought.
I only scan the crowd for a second to figure out who's voice that was, before the men around him stare him down, nudging him for his words. Once he realises I've seen him he swallows.
"Why have you all gone silent?" I ask, picking up my glass on the armrest and swirling the golden liquid. "I'm amused, so laugh."
But nobody does. A few minutes pass of a stinging quiet, and I set my glass down before standing. They all straighten at my move, and I head across the dark room towards the man who spoke, who sits on a barstool with his hands in a knot in his lap. I don't know his name, I don't care either.
Before I stop in front of him he slides off his stool and stands submissively, his eyes darting around. Face tight with fear as if he's prepared for the punishment.
"What did I say? Laugh." I demand. Some of the men force themselves to fake laugh, and when they see my expression relax, the tension eases a little.
The man before me starts to loosen up, releasing a breath thinking I was joking before I grab the crowbar I'd long spotted against the bar, and whack it against his side.
He yelps and flies to the floor, landing with a thud. A blood curdling groan escapes him as he holds his side and the men around him step back fast, most of them unsurprised.
Turning to walk away, I put the stick over my shoulder before the jolt of anger resurfaces and I turn back again. This time, I smash it against his body so hard he screams loud enough to even shake the glasses on the bar countertop. I hit him again and Renzo leaps off the bar, trying to tell me to stop but I can't.
Control is the one thing I've always had, and now its gone.
I throw the crowbar which clanks against the wooden floorboards, and I step back from the unconscious fool.
"Anyone else wanna talk about my wife?"
———————————————————————
Coming home made me more unsettled today than I've been recently.
The search on Catalina stopped three months ago. I was the one who stopped it, she didn't want to be found. She wanted to hide using my money like the little brat she is.
When I gave up on the search, I shoved all her things lying around the house in her room and locked it, but today somebody mentioned her for the first time in a while and it sparked a dangerous fire in me.
I push the key into the keyhole, slowly turn it and push her bedroom door open.
When you come to a place after a long time, the scent there is stronger, so walking into her room was like burying my face into her neck.
I can smell her coconut hair products, the vanilla lotion she always wore and even a hint of the powder she covered her face in every morning.
I stop in in the middle of her room, at the centre of the darkness. Standing in a dull ray of moonlight shining through the open curtains and once I catch the moon, a shot of rage comes through me.
Chiaro fucking de luna, moonlight I called her, only for her to screw me over for another man. The thought of them spending my money sipping cocktails in Costa Rica makes heat burn my chest. What man could she choose better than me?
Before I know what I'm doing, I storm to her wardrobe, pull out her few outfits in there and throw them to ground. I grab all her junk from the dressers, her hair brush, bedding, even her toothbrush from the bathroom and throw it. She needs to leave my fucking head, and now.
Pulling out my lighter, I lower myself to the ground and watch the flame spread over all of her things. As it a warm glow forms around the pile of junk, I stand and listen to the crackling of her memories burning away.
Try and faze me now.
————————————————————————
~Catalina POV~
"Liar!" My hand flies across the girls face. She gasps, grabbing her cheek and staring at me with shock. I walk past her before stopping. "Don't touch me again chica. I won't be this gentle next time."
Kathy's nostrils flare with annoyance, her cheeks red with either anger or embarrassment, maybe both. Before she can fight back I walk away from her.
"What happened?" One of the girls ask her.
"She's getting too free with her hands!" She replies, and I roll my eyes, heading to my cell with a guard who grabs my arms and cuffs them.
When I return to my cell, I lay under the toilet paper thin blanket on my bottom bunk.
It's been six weeks since Leone visited me.
Six weeks of vigorous decision making, of me fighting back the urge to depend on yet another Cavallaro.
I could for the sake of my freedom, but my pride has turned into a stone wall. I'll never lean on another man again no matter how bad this place is, and this place is really bad.
I never sit with the crowd. Wherever I'm forced to go, I sit alone in the bathroom and just listen to the noise outside the doors, wishing I knew what was going on outside these walls.
They forgot about me, but I don't forget so easily.
I always think of my Mama, and my Papa. Has he heard from me yet? Does he even care? And what about cousin Bruno? Did he-
The cell door opens with a loud creak, footsteps echoing with the too familiar clank of handcuffs coming my way.
"Somebody's here to see you." A guard says.
"Heard that before. Tell him to leave me alone."
"Its a woman."
A woman?
———
Mama's brows rise as she scans me from behind the glass screen. "Wow, you look...Do they really not do manicures here?"
"Where were you? I wrote to you months ago."
"Oh, you didn't hear mija? I had to get my implants changed." She shrugs like its a legitimate excuse for abandoning her daughter.
"You were busy for the past six months because...because she you were getting your implants changed?!"
"Ay calm down and stop complaining, I had to sleep on my back for weeks." She purses her lips and sets her purse on the counter behind her side of the glass screen.
It's a good thing they made these meeting booths with divisions, so people like me can't strangle their own mothers.
"Anyway, how's life?" She asks.
"No sé (I don't know,) how is life living with murderers who try to kill you in your sleep? How is it not being able to breathe without ten guards looking your way? Or being locked in here knowing everyone outside who once loved you has moved on and left you to rot?! It's death, Mama. Not life."
Mama lowers her eyes, and in that second I see more emotion in her than ever. Her next words are quiet and low.
"Vengo a decirte que te saco de aqui. (I'm here to tell you that I'm getting you out of here)."
I blink, look away from the clear screen separating us and towards my arms on the table.
"I got bail money." She continues, and before she can speak again I interrupt.
"From Papa?" I ask, sitting forward. "Did he hear about me? I'm sure he sent the bail once he did right?"
"Right." Mama says with a dull tone I know is obvious lying. Before I can ask her anything more about it, she stands. "I'll be here to pick you up tomorrow."