got everyone watching us
so baby let's keep it secret
a little bit scandalous
but baby dont let them see it~
chapter 51
The spotlight seems to be a bit too bright for my eyes today. I also shouldn't have drank that coffee earlier because I can feel my stomach churning, wetting my lips also wasn't a good idea because I just tasted the cherry flavored lipbalm I applied on my lips before I took the stage.
Yeah, I'm on a stage right now. I don't know how I was able to get in here because I was already too busy with practicing back in our dance practice room, but the CEO insisted that I still should attend school despite the busy schedule. I only had like 3 hours of sleep before I was told that I need to go to school today.
I still need to perfect my solo part for the reality show, but instead of doing that, I was dragged to school and now I'm on stage beecause a lot of students want to see me perform with Eunkyung, Junghwan and Jeongwoo.
I also feel bad for Junghwan and Jeongwoo since I heard they just got back from a concert, but now they're being forced to perform again. Actually, it was fine if we don't attend school for a week because the school has an activity that's why there are no new lessons because it's more like a sportsfest. But our company made us attend despite being so freaking tired.
"Let's just perform to get this over with," Eunkyung told us, and her usual happy aura was long gone because she seemed a bit irritated since from what I heard, Eunkyung still doesn't have any sleep. After practicing for her performance for the Last Evaluation since shes the first performer, she immediately took a shower and we went to school just so we wouldn't be late.
Eunkyung already told her classmates that she wasn't feeling well earlier, but they still dragged her to the stage. It was a good thing that Eunkyung is really nice because if it was me, I would've caused a scene and just storm out of this auditorium.
"But I'm so tired. I didn't have any sleep yet," Junghwan murmured and even tried to pursuade me to just leave the stage, but I shook my head at him. If we do that, the students might start a rumor stating that we're being snobs and acting all mighty because we didn't listen to their request. It's shitty, but that's just how this works.
"We don't have a choice, Junghwan. The students will talk behind our backs if we don't give them what they want," Jeongwoo told him, who also looked so tired and eyebags were evident under his eyes, making me pat his back to comfort him.
I kind of relate to them, because this life is actually so hard. I wondet how they were able to cope with this kind of life knowing that they debuted way younger than us.
"Let's sing an Ariana Grande song, Byul. You two can decide what song you'll be singing later," Eunkyung told us, so Jeongwoo and Junghwan immediately searched for a song to sing.
"You do know that you can't belt a high note right now, right? You need to preserve your voice for the Last Evaluation," I reminded Eunkyung, but she just dismissed me, it was still clear that shes pissed so I decided not to interfere with her anymore. An irritated Eunkyung is very scary.
We both decided that we'll sing Daydreaming by Ariana Grande since it wasn't that high but it still is a good song to hype up the crowd.
It was a good experience, until we saw the outcome.
* * *
"I don't think I can sing this part anymore," Eunkyung told us with her raspy voice. There were cameras everywhere, but we didn't care. All of us immediately went to Eunkyung who's now tearing up because of her raspy voice. She has always been the one who's best at taking care of one's throat, so I don't know why her condition suddenly became so serious to the point she can't sing the part that she always find so easy.
"How are we going to do this? Only Eunkyung can sing this part perfectly," Nari whispered while patting Eun's back as a way to comfort the crying girl. I also went to Eun to give her a tight hug.
It was also the time when everybody realized just how much Eun is so valuable to the group. Without her voice, our songs would be so boring. She really is our main vocalist.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I don't know what's wrong with my voice right now. It's just not coming out, I'm so sorry." Eun was now a crying mess as she kept on asking for our forgiveness because of her condition, but all we did was hug her to assure that it's alright. We've been through so much already, I know we'll be able to get through this.
"What if we all just switch our parts? Since I'm a rapper, I'll do the singing. And the singers can rap too. In this way we can prove to the producers that we can do anything," Nari suggested, and all of us were shocked.
Nari had made it clear a few times already that she doesn't like singing because she's not confident with her singing voice yet, and here she is now suggesting that we all switch parts and that she'll sing this time. We all awed at the sight when Eun hugged Nari to thank her for her selflessness. Mulan and Hiraya also seemed to like the idea because Hiraya had always wanted to try singing while Mulan always wanted to do rap, but it was her image that made the producers make her a singer instead of a rapper.
Our song for the group performance is Little Mix's Power. It's a really hard song to sing live and the fact that we would also be dancing while singing it, already makes me want to just crawl under the ground.
That's why we're having a crisis because in our group, it was only Eunkyung who has enough confidence to belt those high notes. It wasn't because we couldnt do it too,, but maybe because we just didn't try hard enough to do it because we've all been so dependent on Eunkyung, thinking that as long as she's there, the vocals would be great. So, now that she has throat problems, we're all freaking out.
"Okay. Instead of panicking, let's just do Nari's suggestion. We're all going to exchange our parts and we'll try to sing it with our new parts to see if it would work out, is that alright?" Hiraya asked us, and we all gave her a thumbs up.
We decided to split the parts once again, and it was a good thing that I still have some of my original parts and a few rap lines. We were even quite sad that Nari had to let go of her own written rap lines for us since she has to sing.
We started singing, and it was Nari who started the song. We were all shocked by how beautiful her voice is. She has always rapped everytime there's a monthly evaluation so hearing her sing is something new. And damn, her voice is really good and pleasing to listen to, it's even high since it's able to reach the note for the intro of power.
And when it was Hiraya's turn to sing, we all were amazed again because her voice is also so pretty, she even joked that it's natural because she's from a country with great singers.
I held Eun's hand when it was her turn to rap. It was a good thing that every YG trainee is trained in every category, making it easy for us to adjust so that we'll be able to have a great performance to show the producers and the viewers.
Eunkyung actually is great at rapping, and it's actually my first time listening to her rap. Since it's already known in our agency that Eun is a singer so she has always been singing instead of rapping. I felt Eunkyung squeezing my hand back aftet she succes did her rap part making me smile before singing my part.
After me, it was Mulan's turn. We cheered when she got up and even acted as if she's holding a mic and then she started rapping. Oh my god. Mulan is so cool, this was the first time we were able to see Mulan not in her usual image where she's supposed to be prim and proper. Mulan is actually naturally cool, and she suits rapping!
When the last part came, we all got up and started singing togeher and even doing a bit of the choreography that Mulan and Hiraya made earlier.
"That was fun!" Mulan exclaimed after we finished practicing with our parts switched up. All of couldn't help but agree, and I was actually relieved that we made it work. We dont want he producers to think that we can be caged in one position because I believe all of us can do anything if we just practice hard enough.
After our group performance, we all agreed that we should practice our new parts separe so that we'll be able to perfect it in no time. All of agreed with Hiraya's suggestion, so we all left to find our own places where we won't be able to disturb one another. We took our cameras, but I still haven't opened mine because I'll be going to his studio.
I already asked him through text if he's not busy and if it's alright for me to visit him so that I can ask for help with mu rapping, and he was fast enough to reply that he's available and even sent a picture of him just chilling inside his studio.
I knocked on his door, and I was shocked when he opened it fastly and pulled me inside before closing the door and locking it.
"What's up?" I ask him, clearly confused with his actions.
"Asahi might barge in again, you know?" he told me, and I immediately stopped myself from remembering that day when Asahi saw me and Haruto that close to each other's faces.
"Now, what is it that you need my help from?" Haruto asked me as he pats his lap, a sign for me to sit on his lap, making me furrow my brows.
"You know that I'm not sitting on your lap, right?" I told him, but he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Your loss, darin. This is way comfier than that chair," Haruto confidently said while patting his lap as he saw me sitting down on a chair in front of him. I made a gesture as if I was going to slap him, so he was fast enough to admit that he was only joking.
After all his crazy antics, Haruto and I were finally able to start practicing. To be honest, I am actually not at all having any problems with my rap parts, it's just that I want to spend more time with Haruto. He has been out for a few weeks prior to this day because of their concerts, so I'm just glad that he's here right now.
"Nah, I can't believe that me, a japanese guy is teaching a korean girl to rap in korean." He even added emphasis in the word korean before he continued, "There's no way, are you faking this? There's no way that you didn't ace this the first time you heard it," Haruto told me as he watched me smile at him innocently.
"I don't know what you're talking about, sunbae. I'm really not getting the hang of it. Teach me again, please?" I answered him, even batting my eyelashes to irritate him more.
"What did you just call me?"
Oh no. I just called him sunbae. He's not going to stop from talking about it again. Haruto has been asking me to give him a cute nickname just like what he gave me, but I really dont know what to call him aside from Ruto. I don't even know if I can call him any endearment there is, I find it cringe.
"Wait, before you say something about the sunbae thing, how come you never cringed whenever you would call me darin? I am really having a hard time on choosing an endearment I can call you without feeling cringe, you know?" I asked him, and his teasing smile turned into a soft one before he started to explain.
"Maybe I got it from my dad? I grew up in a loving family that is not very conservative. My dad was not the matcho type of man, since he was not the type to obligate my mom to follow his every order. He was even the one who follows mom around and does whatever she asks him to do. He doesn't care at all even though my mom would cringe whenever he calls her by their endearnment. I just... I just thought that my dad's cool so I wanna be like with you whenever dad is with mom," Haruto explained softly, and it all made sense to me ever since he said the words, 'I grew up in a loving family.'
Of course Haruto wouldn't feel weird about all these because it was all natural for him because ever since he was a kid, his family was able to show him enough love and support. While I... didn't.
It was weird for me because I never experienced this kind of emotion. Our family was far different from Haruto's family. We weren't open with one another and even though we're a small family, it was still hard for us to eat together. My mum's way of showing love was not the same as how the other kids' moms' show their love. My father who I was once close to and would find to confinde in has now a new family and doesn't even support me in my life here in Korea.
So, how on earth am I going to understand all these warm gestures Haruto has been giving me when it was the first time I have ever felt something that makes me heart warm?
"You're thinking too much again. Look at me, and tell me what's going on inside that pretty head of yours," Haruto ordered me, and this time he was able to grab me and make me sit on his lap.
His chin was rested on my shoulder, and I shivered when I felt his warm and breath near my ear when he said all those words.
"Nothing. I just realized how different our family is from each other, and I'm glad you have a wonderful family, Ruto. You deserve all the love there is in this world," I told him before reaching for his hair and scratching it, and I yelped when Haruto moved closer to my neck and planted a soft kiss there.
"Hey!" I yelled, but he only chuckled before resting his face near the side of my neck.
"I know that your situation wth your family isn't the best, but I promise you that I will try my best to give you the love you also deserve, darin. You dont have to beg for it anymore, and I know we're still young, we're only turning 20 next year, but I'm not bluffing when I say that I can willingly give you everything. Always remember that," he whispered, and I don't know if it was because of the sincerity in his voice or was it because of his arms wrapped around my waist that made me feel as if he's comforting that made me tear up a bit.
God. I am one lucky woman to be able to be in his arms right now. And to hear all that? I must have saved Korea in my past life for me to be this lucky right now.
"Thanks, dork." I told him not knowing what to reply since I got shy already, and all I got as a reply was a chuckle, and a soft kiss on the side of my neck before he whispered the words, "your welcome."
* * *
"Nice!" Hyunsuk exclaimed, a smile on his lips and I bowed as a way to thank him before turning to my solo camera to do a thumbs up.
Haruto and I decided that we need someone who's more experienced in rapping so that I can film myself practicing. We also realy need to do because if I would practice with only Haruto as my mentor, we might spark up some rumors, that's why we decided to go to Hyunsuk's studio.
"That ends my practice for my parts after the switch up. Thank you, Hyunsuk sunbae and Haruto sunbae for helping me," I said in front of my solo cam and even tagging the two guys along to show the viewers my sunbaes who helped me.
"Tear up the stage!" Hyunsuk said, causing me and Haruto to laugh.
After a few more chitchats, I waved goodbye at the camera before finally turning it off. I let out a sigh and once again I faced them both to say thank you.
"It's no biggie. Anyway, is it alright for you to record yourself with us? Did the producers allow that? You do know the rule about us getting seen together, right? I just don't want you to get in trouble," Hyunsuk worriedly said, and I was fast enough to tell him that it was fine.
"We were told that it was even better to film with our sunbaenims so that the viewers will see some YG family interactions. They wanted to bring it back again, you know? I was shocked too when they said that, but yeah, it's all good. Besides, your fans didn't mind that we interact," I assured him, and this time it was Haruto who smiled teasingly at me.
It was because earlier, Haruto said that it was better to act friendlier with each other and even interact more often so the fans wouldn't think of anything else whenever they see me and Haruto interacting. They'll just think that we're close friends, especially because we're born in the same year. Just Haruto and his smart brain.
But whatever, I'm just glad that nobody suspects us at all. And I hope it stays that way.
"By the way, we'll be eating later with Junkyu and the others, do you two want to come? You can also invite your members, Byul." Hyunsuk told us, and by just the mention of Junkyu's name, I already want to back out.
Junkyu has been like a guard dog (not in a weird way) to me. And he just knows everything, so I'm sure he'll find out if he sees me and Haruto together. He'll freaking sniff the truth out of us!
"Maybe next time? I still need to practice and all, so yeah. Thanks again, sunbaes! Gotta go!" I said, and when I was about to get out of Hyunsuk's studio, the door opened and I was shocked to see the person I didn't even want to see today.
"Junkyu!" I yelped, and he gave me a smile, so I calmed myself down before also giving him a smile then I excused myself even before Junkyu could say or think of anything else.
Damn that was close.
to be continued. . .
how is this chapter? please leave some comments abt ur thoughts abt it. also, i have a question, is byul and ruto's relationship (i honestly dont know what to call their relationship rn) a bit going too fast? or is it alright? also yall can leave some suggestions for cute interactions too!! (please, i suck at it) HAHAHAH KIDDING anw i hope u enjoyed this chapter! also happy 30k reads to nnc, thank you once again for reading it <3