Stefan: You thought you could handle being a vampire. You didn't choose to be one, but you had no other option than to look at the situation positively. But the hunger that lurched in the pit of your stomach ate away at your willpower, and you knew it wouldn't be long before you finally snapped, and you were scared.
Stefan had been helping you, teaching you how to control it, how to feed from animals. But the dull taste of animal blood was nothing in comparison to the metallic taste of human blood you consumed when you first completed the transition.
So instead of feeling the self loathing and guilt you would when you lost control, you decided to take a step ahead of time, and turn it off.
Stefan was heartbroken. He felt like he had failed as your boyfriend and should have been able to prevent you from flipping the switch. He blamed himself more than anyone.
"y/n, please. Turn it back on." He pleaded cautiously.
"Why would I go through that much pain when I can just be happy?" You giggled carelessly as you inspected the bookshelf out of boredom.
"Because this isn't you. You know that you're strong enough to resist the urge, this is just the easy way out. You are better than this." He persisted. You simply scoffed, turning on your heel as you headed for the door.
"That was deep, really. But right now, I'm feeling a little peckish." You smirked. "I'll save you something." With that, you left, the door closing behind you as you sped off into the darkness. Stefan sighed in fear, worry. Wondering how he could bring you back to him. Calling Damon, they set out to find you.
They devised a plan. You had killed, multiple times, and that was sign enough that getting you back would be more than a difficult task. They found you feeding off of some poor innocent boy out the back of the Grille. Rushing to you, Stefan pulled you away from the boy and restrained you against the wall while Damon compelled your victim to forget everything, and leave.
"You guys are no fun." You teased, the lack of humanity and compassion in your voice, let alone your eyes made Stefan cringe.
"y/n you need to stop this. You need to turn it back on." Stefan pressed, looking into your eyes, for any trace of you still in there.
"I can't." You spoke, your voice remaining careless but the demeanor in your gaze changing only slightly before snapping back to the lifelessness they possessed. Stefan noticed this, looking to Damon with hope, he gave a small nod before Damon sped over, plunging a syringe full of vervain into your side. You sucked in a sharp breath, shooting Damon a glare before falling limp against Stefan. He collected you in his arms before making his way back home.
>>
You woke up in a dark, dank room. The stone ground cold to the touch as you shuffled to your feet. Stumbling toward the only source of light, a small, barred window. You squinted a little as you leaned toward the bright light. The sudden realization of where you were washing over you.
"I see you're awake." A voice echoed. Stefan.
"I really don't think that vervaining me and locking me in the dungeon was necessary, but that's just my opinion." You spoke, sarcasm practically dripping from your voice as you smirked maliciously. For probably the third time that day, Stefan's heart sank even further at your words.
He hated to see you like this. Further more; he hated to see you hurt, in pain. But he had to make some sacrifices to get you back. He had to starve you of blood. Leave you until you were physically weak enough to mold back together again.
>>
Two weeks and he had given up on Damon's demands of leaving you there for any longer. Opening the door, your weak figure flinched at the sudden brightness. He walked toward you slowly, stopping when in front of you and kneeling down to your level.
"Back to mock me?" You chuckled dryly, the strain in your voice evident as your gaze weakened.
"I'm back because I love you." He chuckled back obviously as he joined you on the ground.
You furrowed your brows in confusion, looking up to him from the cold floor.
"Still? Now? After all this?" You laughed again, but Stefan couldn't help but catch the glimmer in your eye.
"Yes." He replied a matter of factly. No hesitation in his voice. You were shocked to say the least. Surely he would have lost hope by now. "And I know you still love me too." He spoke suddenly. Your entire demeanor changed with those words. Did you? But how could you? All these thoughts ran through your mind before you came to your final conclusion. You did. You were still incredibly, madly in love with him.
"I know you feel like your happier this way, but trust me, you're not. This isn't happiness. This is nothing. This is the easy way out and you're better than that." He spoke, his eyes softening as he looked as you, reaching a hand out to hold your face lovingly.
Gazing up into his eyes, you believed him, a tear slipping down your cheek as you fell apart. Closing your eyes, his body stiffened at your sudden burst of emotion.
Opening your eyes, you were back. You flipped the switch back on. Blinking back a few tears, he looked to you with worry, still holding your face in his grasp.
"Stefan." You breathed quietly, happily, a smile making its way to your lips as you let the tears go. He furrowed his brows in an attempt to hold back from crying tears of joy, letting out a breath he had been holding in anticipation before pulling you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you securely.
You were back in his arms, back to yourself, and back home.
Damon: It was too much. The killing, feeding, the taking of innocent lives for your own survival, you couldn't handle it. You spent weeks weighing out your options, your heightened emotions playing more than a big role in your decision making skills. After all of the tears, pain and suffering, you turned it off.
Damon came home to find you lounging on the couch, a bottle of his bourbon lazily in your hand.
"y/n?" He called, confusion clear in his voice. You were acting extremely out of character, and he was worried.
"Hey! I was wondering when you'd get home." You spoke with a grin.
"Are you," He paused, looking over you, "drunk?"
"Even better." You began, sitting up and pouring him a glass. "I'm free." You smiled carelessly. He was confused for a second, hesitantly taking the glass and looking at you in worry. He met your gaze, and thats when he realized what was happening.
"You didn't." He spoke through gritted teeth, worried out of his mind.
"Oh but I did." You confirmed as if it was nothing, taking another sip from your glass before standing up. "And that reminds me;" You started. "I'm hungry." With the flash of a devious smirk, you were out the door and out of sight.
>>
Damon was in shock, denial, call it what you will, but he didn't know what to do. It felt to him as if he had lost you, and it hurt. He called Stefan, knowing that he had experienced this before.
"She what?" Stefan asked in shock.
"Flipped the switch, turned it off, it doesn't matter! All that matters is that I need her back." Damon clarified sternly.
>>
The search party had commenced; Damon and Stefan combing through Mystic Falls trying to find you.
The two were making their way past the woods when they heard a shuffling, as the faint smell of blood caught them by surprise. Rushing toward the smell, they quickly found the trace of the blood. Matt.
>>
"C'mon, get up. I'm hungry." You groaned. "My heads fuzzy, I can't think straight, I need more."
"y/n stop." Matt breathed weakly from the ground.
"But you're so good." You teased, lifting him off of the ground and readying for seconds, or was it thirds? As you prepared to drink, you were quickly shoved off of Matt and held tightly to the trunk of a nearby tree.
"Hey, hey, you're cut off." Stefan spoke, holding you back, against the tree.
"Let go of me." You demanded, struggling against his hold.
"Stop it." He replied before Damon arrived.
"Enough." He paused, lifting Matt's almost drained body off of the ground. "You think that we can't punish you. Maybe not. But I can sure punish him." Damon spoke, nodding toward Matt who looked to you with pleading eyes.
"You're bluffing." You spoke confidently but quietly while looking over the scenario. With that, Damon swiftly snapped Matt's neck, letting his body fall in a heap on the forest ground.
You gasped, Stefan letting you go as tears welled up in your eyes. Moving closer to Matt, your breathing almost came to a stop.
"How about now? Do you feel anything now? Are you mad that I turned your buddy into roadkill? Or are you sad that the guy everybody loves is just a bag of bones." He asked rhetorically, watching as you felt the pain of losing him, your best friend.
You remained where you were, in shock. Nothing but tears and quiet sobs leaving you.
"Remember when he was a kid? Warm heart, big goofy smile; his whole life ahead of him." He paused, kneeling down to lift up Matt's hand. "Guess it was a good thing he was wearing this." The ring. Matt was wearing the Gilbert ring.
A heavy sigh of relief escaped your lips as you dropped to your knees beside your best friend, taking his hand into yours. Damon stayed still, watching you as it his life depended on it. And to him, it did.
"You feel that weight lifting off your chest? That's joy. That's emotion y/n. That's humanity." Damon pushed as you had an internal battle with yourself. When suddenly, you managed to flick the switch back to 'on'. Emotion flooding your body all at once.
The tears remained as you looked back up at him. Your eyes how they once were, full of life, emotion.
"Oh my god." You breathed to yourself, sobs still wracking your body, Damon's worrisome eyes remaining on you before he rushed to your side, pulling you to your feet.
"What did I do? I-I almost killed Matt, I can't-" You sobbed as you clutched your head.
"Hey, it's alright, everything's okay." Damon assured you, pulling you into his chest, one hand brushing the back of your head while the other held your back comfortingly. "Everything's okay." He repeated.
Klaus: After Niklaus was daggered, his body hidden away by his revenge ridden brother Kol, you broke. Jumping to conclusions and overthinking the whole situation inevitably lead you to think the worst; that you'd never see him again.
The loneliness was unbearable. The pain; excruciating. The thoughts of being like this forever rampaged through your head until you finally tipped over the edge. Flipping the switch.
Little to your knowledge, Klaus wasn't daggered for much longer. When Rebekah had heard of you turning off your humanity, she worried. After all, she was your best friend.
Being even more determined than before to wake up her brother, she found out where Kol had hidden his body and without hesitation, pulled out the dagger.
>>
Once Rebekah told Klaus about you, he was heartbroken. He spent every waking hour looking for you. Having no luck, he turned to the help of a witch to track you down.
There you were. Right there, circled clearly on the map. The witch had done his job and Niklaus was off again, map in his hand, and hope in his heart.
>>
He came to a slow stop at the destination, a club. Compelling the bouncer with little to no effort, he walked in, his eyes searching every inch of the flashing room for you. He maneuvered past the drunken figures when finally, he saw you.
You sat on a stool at the overly crowded bar, scoping out your options for a snack.
His heart thumped in his chest as he watched you. No life in your eyes, no character in your stance. You were completely empty. Moving closer, he stood next to you.
"May I buy you a drink?" He asked casually. You turned around, the look of determination and hunger on your face fading away as you met his eyes.
There, in that moment, he saw emotion.
"Nik." You breathed, not believing your eyes. He looked at you with sorrow, moving to caress your cheek with his hand.
"What have you done to yourself?" He asked sadly. You tried to speak, ask how he was back, explain what had happened, but all that left your lips were shaky breaths as you became overwhelmed with emotion. "Oh, love." He cooed, pulling you off of the stool and to your feet, into his arms.
You stood still at first. Still in shock, but soon let your tense figure go, and melted into the embrace, laughing quietly as you came to terms with what was happening.
He was back. And now, so were you.
Elijah: Compulsion was a bitch. Elijah and his infamous brother Kol had been feuding again. Something about betrayal and backstabbing, although this time you had tried your best to stay out of it, thinking that it would blow over like the rest of their rivalries had.
But it hadn't.
Elijah had been out when Kol came over to your shared house. He knocked on the door angrily. So, knowing that he could not enter, you opened it.
"Kol." You greeted coldly, taking Elijah's side in the matter, despite knowing full details. If anyone had done anything to make Elijah of all people dislike them to this extent, it must have been bad.
"y/n dear, just who I was looking for." He smirked.
"And why would that be?" You shot back.
"All in good time." He chuckled. "Now tell me, is my dearest brother home?"
"No."
"Perfect. May I come in?"
"Not a chance." You grimaced.
"Ah, quite alright, we can just do this here." He spoke maliciously. To say you were confused was an understatement. You backed up a little and furrowed your brows. "Turn it off." He demanded looking into your eyes. You froze. He was trying to compel you.
"Kol." You breathed suddenly, warning him to stop as you hunched over slightly, desperately trying to repel the compulsion.
"I said turn it off!" He boomed, stepping forward angrily, only to be stopped by the barrier.
As hard as you tried, resisting the compulsion of an original is near impossible. So you did. You turned it off.
>>
Elijah came home to find the house empty. Thinking it was odd, he called you, only to have no answer. This being his reason to begin worrying, he walked out pf the house, suddenly being met with Kol.
"Where is she." Elijah demanded more so than asked, his tone furious as he wracked over his brothers smug facial expression with rage.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Kol smirked, Elijah's temper only rising.
"Where is she?!" He yelled.
"Calm down brother. I'm sure she's off tearing apart some poor innocent humans throat." He hinted, a smirk playing on his lips.
"What did you do Kol?" Elijah spoke through gritted teeth.
"I may have helped her let loose a little. I mean, I imagine being cooped up with Elijah Mikaelson of all people, would leave an individual quite boring." He teased. "Well, brother, I'm afraid I must run. Give y/n my best."
>>
You had run rampage. Gone on a feeding frenzy, a binge. Always having been so grounded, and restricting yourself from that of which is normal for a vampire, this was completely new territory. You killed, fed, drank, whatever you saw fit. Because you didn't care. You couldn't.
Elijah soon caught word of bodies showing up around Mystic Falls. Instantly knowing it was you, he had no need to follow your trails. He sat at home, and waited, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop you, and honestly, not wanting to see you like that. Only an hour later, and you had returned. Walking back through the door, you threw your keys on the side table and headed to the kitchen.
"You're back." He greeted as you walked passed him. Your head snapped up in his direction, blood stains evident on your shirt. His face dropped when he saw your state. Your clothing torn and bloody, your eyes; lifeless. But he had hope. He had hope that he could bring you back, it was just finding the one emotion, the one feeling you had clung onto that would be strong enough to tip you back over the edge and back to yourself.
"Went out for a snack." You stated carelessly, standing in the doorway, beginning to move toward the fridge for a blood bag.
"I never wanted you to be like this." He spoke up. You stopped in your tracks, looking at him, confused. "A vampire. I loved you far before you were turned and I wanted a better life for you." He continued, seeing something change in your eyes, if only for a second. "I loved you so much, that I was willing to give you up so you could live a happy, human life."
"And when I turned?" You asked, scoffing, reaching back down for the blood bag.
"I felt like I had failed you." He answered. "I felt like I had let you down, and I will never forgive myself for it." You felt your heart thump in your chest, looking at him, your face softened. "And now I have let Kol do this to you. Now I have lost you."
"No you haven't." You spoke up, a little confused by your own words, yet you could feel the meaning behind them. He moved closer to you and your heart beat picked up speed. You were feeling, and it was overflowing.
"My darling y/n," he started, "please, I hate seeing you so empty. Come back to me, turn it back on."
You paused for a moment, your mind swarming with options, feelings, ideas. Shutting your eyes tightly when Elijah's hand made contact with yours, you turned it back on.
"Oh my god." You stuttered, opening your eyes again. "I- I killed those people Elijah, I-" You pulled away from him, tears welling up as a lump formed in your throat, the memories flooding back to you. All those innocent people. Without a word, he moved over to you, wrapping his arms around you as you sobbed into his chest.
"I promise you y/n, you will get through this. And I will be there with you every step of the way."
I am so sorry for the lack of updates lately! I have a lot on my plate at the moment but I promise once it has cleared, updates will return as usual! I really hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading!! :) I LOVE YOU!x