We decide to stay in a nearby motel for the night. Kai offered us to stay at his place but staying at one place for a long while can be dangerous especially when we don't know if someone is following us or not. We were protected when we were in my city but now we're outside the protected area and we have to be cautious.
"You know you need to start involving me in your plans too if we need this to work". I look towards the couch where he's working on his laptop with puzzled expression. "What do you mean by that?"
He sighs and keeps aside his laptop "I had no idea about that envelope today. I need to know what your next move will be. We're on the same team here, I need to know the whole plan for this to work out smoothly"
I turn away and continue to clean my guns and blades "Well it worked out just perfect today didn't it? I don't see the problem here"
"The problem is that it might not go as easily the other times too. Yes it worked today but we don't know what's going to happen in the future. How do you think it will look if others get to know that I am as much unaware of what's going on as them? We're going to look like fools" he argues
He's right. I don't want to admit it to him but he is. I can't put our mission at risk because I wasn't able to get past my personal problems with him. I can't lose. I have always worked alone and prefer it that way. No one to answer to. But I can't put us at risk just because I do not know how to communicate and tolerate people.
"Fine. I'm sorry. I'll try to avoid this next time"
"I would appreciate that" he returns
It's weird how simple it is to talk with him sometimes. If we don't argue we are able to bear each others presence just a little bit more. But I don't want to get used to it. It's a matter of a few months at max.
At least that's what Im telling myself. That spending some time with him will not change anything about how I feel about him. I just hope that remains the same.
"We'll be leaving early tomorrow. Talk to a few people I know around here. Maybe they can be a bit of help" he speaks up. He did mention having sources in this area before. It will be better if we don't rely on just the main families but also gather information from local sources.
"Sounds good. We need to keep moving anyways, we don't know who might be following us here. In my territory we were safe but I can't control things here" I voice my own concern. I do know locals here and there but that doesn't protect us as much. We need to keep our eyes and ears open.
We go over the details of what has happened till now and he provides me with the information I need to plan out our next steps.
"Is there any one place where your shipments land or do you keep changing them?" I question
"We usually send them to our nearest port of where the order is from and we have our men look over the process of unloading the materials and packing it in trucks. We have five separate ports for all our business and the ships only dock at these ports"
"Hmm. Are there specific teams assigned for this? Because that would narrow down our suspect list quite a lot" I point out. It will be easy to catch the person if it is someone involved from these teams itself. It can be quite convenient for them to steal if they are on this team.
"Yes we have day and night shifts for the people who receive these shipments and load them. But the full information of this would be with the port managers"
"Then we go and inspect these ports too. These people are the ones who come in contact with the orders first hand so the chance of someone being in on this from these teams is higher" I expressed.
We agree to proceed with the said plan from tomorrow and track down where and how these shipments have been going missing. If it's someone working from inside of these teams it can eventually lead us to uncovering who they are working for because whoever is doing this has a bigger motive in their head. They are not doing this just for fun. There is a reason behind all this. No common man would be able to hack the Italian security systems.
He eyes the bed as silence falls over the room. I am not willing to debate over the obvious question. I see him open his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "Sleep. I'll keep an eye outside to see if there's anything suspicious."
He replies without missing a beat "And you don't need sleep? We have a lot to do tomorrow. You should rest"
"I'm fine" I don't tell him that I won't be able to get any sleep if he'll be there in the same room with me moreover in the same bed. I can already feel the shadows of the past starting to creep out from the dark corner of my mind. I push them back down and tuck two of my blades and a gun in as if these weapons will be of any help against these demons.
I definitely don't tell him how I rarely get much sleep on nights and I don't want to wake up because of another one of those nightmares and explain it to him. Atleast one of us would be able to sleep.
I head towards the door, needing to escape this tension in the room.
"Where are you going?"
Away from you
Without looking back I reply "Bar. Keep an eyes on things and look out for anything suspicious. I'll be back later"
I leave without waiting for a response. Shutting the door behind me I breathe a sigh of relief. I have fought hundreds of people and am not afraid of drawing blood of anyone and am rarely unsettled by anyone. But him. His mere presence makes me want to get away from him. It's not because of the wrath that he holds in his hands. His ability of destroying the world isn't what scares me. It is his ability to look at me in that way that makes me stop breathing. What unsettles me is his gaze and that he isn't affected or afraid of my skills. I know he can hold his ground if he had to against me in a fight but still, not seeing that fear in the enemies eyes is something I'm not used to.
Or maybe it is because he knows that I won't kill him yet. We're working together right now and he know that he's safe. But even when I try to convince myself that this is why he's not afraid of me a part of me knows that its not true.
I don't want to accept the real reason behind it. That maybe behind my exterior he's still able to look at the real me. That he can still look at that girl who used to dance and laugh and kiss him. That girl hiding in the corner, a silent witness to the cruelty of the world. I'm scared because he looks at me as if he still believes me to be that girl. That coward who trusted him and believed him. That girl who fell for him.
But then I ask myself. If I am not that girl anymore then why do I run away from him? If I don't see myself as that person anymore then why does his perspective of me affects me that much?
I know the answer. It is because deep down I know I still am that girl. No matter how much I run away from it I cannot deny it. I still look at people who are in love and oblivious to other people around them and secretly wish for the same. I act disgusted by it but deep down my heart still aches for the same. But I'm scared. Because the last time I let myself fall for him I ended up with a broken heart.
Love is such a waste of time and emotions. You give your time and trust to someone, hoping them to value and cherish it but they don't. They take that time for granted and that trust as something to manipulate and and break. And that is exactly why I keep that girl in the dark. Because I won't let him break me like that ever again.
LORENZO
I stare at the closed door which she walked out of a few seconds ago and go over our last conversation in my head again. I know she left because she wanted to avoided the awkwardness of sleeping beside me. I knew it could be uncomfortable for her but I was about to propose to sleep on the couch. I would have had no problem with that since I wouldn't be getting much sleep anyways.
I stare at the bed with no sheets or blanket to drape and sigh as I continue working on my laptop. She could have slept here but I hadn't suspected that her aversion to me was this strong that she would leave rather than be in the same room as me.
I push out her thoughts from my head and that small part of me that had hoped for something else, something more. Anything other than her avoidance and her hatred for me. I push down that hope and look at the 18 year old boy who still looks at her with stars in his eyes and shake my head at him. Tell him to stop hoping. To stop looking at her with that same love and need to protect her. She's not the same I tell myself. She's not someone who needs to be protected. I saw that myself in that party that day when she cut that man open with her knife and looked at me without any emotions in her eyes. There was no trace of that girl I used to know. But then why can't my heart understand that?
My thoughts are interrupted when there is a knock on the door. "Housekeeping" a man calls. I immediately grab my gun from the table and open the door only an inch while keeping my hand with the gun behind the door.
The man greets me and then hands me a pair of sheets "These were requested at the reception. Please set us know if you need anything else sir"
I accept the sheets and stare down at them when the man leaves.
She remembers.
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