The 3rd night passed quietly enough from the outside, but the team was troubled by dreams again.
Oscar especially, despite the Isracis not affecting him, but his dreams were like visions of memories of Ozpin's--and the feeling that he was losing control.
He woke up half thinking he already had, not sure which one he was.
Shine, who apparently was adept at doing night vigils, heard him and came to sit with him just like with Emerald. A least Emerald seemed a little more peaceful.
They heard Blake crying again, but her own team seemed to comfort her and reassure her it was just a dream and they were all here.
Raven, rather unhelpfully, wondered aloud if they'd all go mad by the time they even reached Salem.
When dawn finally rolled around, absolutely no one wanted to go any farther into the Grimm lands than they already had, but they knew they couldn't turn back.
Shine patted Oscar on the head gently as they were leaving.
Oscar really felt almost worse with people being nice to him. It was that his struggle was on a new level, so no one got cross or said a word to him about it. They were all very nice, but...bthey looked sad.
Frankly, it made Oscar feel like he was already dead, in a way, and they were already sorry about it.
The truth was, the team didn't actually think that, but they did wonder if it would be too late for Oscar soon.
"I don't understand." Pyrrha had doubt. "I thought with the new strength we've been given, he could keep Ozpin in check, but the switching off and on, it seems more and more Ozpin and less Oscar."
"I think," Jaune said somberly, "I think that it was one thing for Oscar to stay in control while we weren't doing anything that difficult for Ozpin, because then Ozpin wasn't trying to take control, and Oscar was resisting the curse... but now it's like Oscar is still resisting it--I mean, there's not been any time I feel like Oscar is the one trying to stop us--but Ozpin is fighting for it, with the help of the curse. So... in a way, Oscar is still Oscar--but is he losing to Ozpin?"
"That's horrible!" Pyrrha was pale. "That's... that's basically saying Ozpin will kill Oscar if he wins. Instead of them merging, he'll just... be gone."
"I keep thinking of something Shine said," Jaune said, "that curses always do what they do but more. The curse makes Ozpin reincarnate... and the idea is that it's with a like-minded host, but if the host stops being like-minded, I think the curse remains and so does the relationship... so they're just swallowed up. It would explain a lot... I mean, you'd think anyone who ever resisted Ozpin before, there'd be some record of it--guy with weird spells like that. But other than that book, there isn't."
"What if the time when Ozpin wrote that book about the two souls, the host was like Oscar? They didn't like doing what Ozpin did," Pyrrha said. "And they lost."
Jaune shuddered. "Sometimes I feel like Ozpin's done more things than we realize."
"At the same time, Ozpin can't go away, and he can't stop the curse," Pyrrha said. "I could see him encouraging it if only to make this grueling process finally stop. It's dreadful, and yet it makes sense."
"Why would you want to understand Ozpin? I think it's horrible."
"I almost made that same choice once," Pyrrha reminded him. "I suppose I wonder how I would have justified it. Ozpin still has not... actually really repented."
"I... really hope that Oscar can win."
"I don't know, Jaune, because Oscar and the DJs told me about this other time they talked," Pyrrha said ruefully, "and Shine warned Oscar that if he chose to keep Ozpin in his head, it would be very difficult. And she was so, so much more right than I imagined. But the other option was to cast Ozpin out, and that would either kill him, or send him into someone else. So... I guess a death was involved either way."
"Won't Ozpin just die even if we succeed?"
"But he'd die at least knowing we succeeded. It seems kinder that way... and yet I almost wish Oscar had just..." Then she trailed off. "But that's a horrible thought."
"No... actually that's something I think we're all thinking." Jaune put a hand on her shoulder.
Pyrrha started crying.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I've been doing so well at staying hopeful, but now that the curse is getting worse, and we can't do a thing to stop it, it feels like the farther we get, the less effect on it we have, and... well, I just... I..."
"I get it," Jaune said. "Really."
He put an arm around her awkwardly.
Honestly, Jaune felt kind of guilty for thinking this was a bit of a relief. Pyrrha was so tough all the time about this, it could feel like she had no issues at all with doubt or fear, but, of course, it was typical of her only to show that when she was thinking of someone else.
Also, Jaune knew that Pyrrha had come to see helping Oscar as some way of atoning for her mistakes in ever encouraging the idea of taking over someone's soul.
But really, everyone felt that way now, because they'd all gone along with the idea at some point, and Oscar's tortured state had made them all feel terrible for it.
Winter included.
Winter was not doing well, period. The day before had really rattled her with her loss of control, and even though she'd hesitated at the end, it hadn't reassured her. But also, Weiss was in danger, even Shine and Wally were struggling with the Grimm, and Raven was rapidly losing control of her magic again.
And Vara was getting more tired every day.
And Cinder had no resistance to the temptations of the mind Grimm and was a loose cannon even more than before.
Actually, Cinder herself seemed a little ashamed of this fact, finally. She'd hardly spoken to anyone since yesterday.
The only silver lining (haha) was Mercury using his powers--and that was added risk too.
No, Winter was not doing well.
Her problem with Qrow was icing on the cake, really.
Since Shine had talked to her, she'd be thinking about it a lot and wondering if she was wasting her time even doing that.
She didn't really think there was anything she could do except wait... and then what?
It made her more nervous than before.
And Winter did not like being nervous or unsure of herself one bit. She preferred to stay in control... and the loss of control was demoralizing to her.
Everyone could tell she was down.
Roman said rather dryly that everyone was in a really good mood today.
Neo didn't even think that was funny, which said a lot, so to speak.
"Well, between all of us dying slowly, you two might walk away from this unscathed," Raven said to them. "Regret your choice yet?"
"Honestly, neither of us were that affected by the attacks," Roman said. "But carrying those big magical magnets of ours, I wonder just how long that's possible."
"Well, the idea of carrying Relics through the Grimm lands was always crazy," Raven said. "Only Likstar would do it. And I wouldn't have agreed to it if anyone else said it."
"Your confidence in her is quite inspiring," Roman said.
Neo made the crazy motion.
"Oh, it's not her exactly," Raven said. "But somehow, good things follow them. I figure at this point, they were sent here for a reason, and I have to see it through. And what else is there to do? Salem's got control of this board, unless we outwit her at the last second. Like the world's worst chess game."
"Okay, so Envy, Wrath..." Wally and Shine were talking and Wally was listing off. "...And if the Apathy were Sloth... then we have four more of these? Can we take them?"
"It's just a theory," Shine said. "I hope that I was wrong."
"Are you worried that we'll give in?" Wally asked.
"I... can't rule it out..." Shine said. "Can we trust ourselves that much?"
"I don't know, but we don't trust ourselves to finish this, right?" Wally said. "We trust Him. There has to be a way. Isn't there some shield and protection?"
Shine glanced at him. "Yeah... actually, that's a good idea. Everyone!"
Everyone stopped and looked at her.
Shine motioned for them to huddle up.
They were standing in the middle of nowhere at the time. The ground was red and purplish, and there wasn't a plant in sight... Grimm dotted the landscape, but none of them had come close yet.
"What?" Cinder said sharply.
Shine pulled out her holy book.
"I should have thought of this before," she said, "but this land seems to cloud the mind in more ways than one. There are things we could be saying to make ourselves stronger."
"If this is going to be another thing about your faith--" Mercury began.
"Anyone who wants to risk going it alone can step away," Shine cut him off.
Mercury went silent.
"What?" Raven asked.
"Here, type this on your scrolls," Shine instructed them. "That way everyone will remember."
The students pulled theirs out... The scrolls were kind of low battery right now.
"I think they might die soon. There's no sun," Pyrrha said.
"I mean, I have a notebook..." Oscar said. "I could tear out some pages."
This was done.
Shine then read aloud:
"'The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, And with my song I will praise Him.'" [Ps 28:7]
"'The LORD is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation.'" [Ps 118:14] [Also Exodus 15:2, which is the chapter where they sang praises after crossing the red sea. That scene in The Prince of Egypt really happened.]
"'Set me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
Jealousy as cruel as the grave;
Its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.
"'7 Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor can the floods drown it.
If a man would give for love
All the wealth of his house,
It would be utterly despised.'" [Song of Solomon 8:6-7]
Pyrrha liked that last one best of all. She thought Winter was looking down, oddly though. Maybe she should try talking to her...
"All right." Shine shut her book. "One more and then we can go on. This is my favorite one--it always calms me down... and... it's startlingly appropriate for this."
She glanced distantly at the Grimm lands.
"It is about hell?" Mercury said snarkily.
Emerald elbowed him.
"Well, that would be appropriate," he said, shrugging.
"Close enough," Shine said, which made him pause.
Shine then went on calmly. "'The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me down the path of righteousness for His namesake. Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen."
"Amen," Pyrrha echoed. She remembered it meant "so be it."
"I like that one," Ruby said quietly.
"That was fitting," Emerald said. "Shadow of death... evil... Geez, it's like it was written for us."
"It was," Shine said.
That took a second to really register, and they all exchanged looks.
"All right, let's go," Wally said.
They resumed walking.
Somehow, the words helped. The teens checked them several times as they went, and they felt a little calmer.
Oscar was muttering them to himself. Anything to distract him from Ozpin.
Ozpin was more subdued for a while that day, actually.
When it came time for a stretch of riding instead of walking, Weiss gamely summoned more. No one bickered today... Really, the fight had gone out of them after yesterday.
"It's kind of funny," Blake commented on it. "Now that I've had someone mess with my head and make me be that way, I don't want to be snippy on my own... because I don't have to be. Do you think that will last?"
"No," Shine shot it down. "Temptation always returns... but a brush with it in its ugliest form can often stave it off for a long period of time. And it may never be as strong. It's all on how well you learn from it. However, some slight raving is not the worst sin to fall into. It's usually easy to recover from it quickly. A blind rage isn't a normal thing for you. I wouldn't worry about it too much."
"Thanks, I guess," Blake said. "I mean... actually that kind of does help, but I didn't like to see that side of myself. In some way, isn't it still me?"
Yang nodded like she understood.
"We talked about that. It is and it isn't," Shine mused.
"And does that make you feel better?" Yang said a little shortly. "You were the only one who didn't give in--other than Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky over there."
She meant Wally.
"Excuse me, Neo and I didn't," Roman said.
"Right, well, you were just too far away," Yang replied.
Neo crossed her arms and glared at her.
"Yang," Shine said gently, "you know that our role here gives us some added protection. Don't grudge it to us, please. DJs have to have something, or we'd be no help to you. If we were at my home, it would definitely not be that easy for me... though I think we still have some choice, but no more than anyone else. This is for your sake that we can resist more."
Shine's response reproved Yang for even starting up with her, and she sighed. "Yeah... whatever."
"She seems kind of different," Ruby commented to Little, who didn't really care. "Before, she always seemed like she was angry as Shine, but now it's like she's just accepting it."
"That's good, right?" Little yawned.
"Yeah, I just wonder why." Ruby hoped it was that Yang had gotten used to Shine and not that Yang was just losing her spirit.
Yang was wondering the same thing.
But unlike Blake, she wasn't finding it so easy to forget what happened as just mind games. She had enough practice with anger to wonder. Especially since, towards the end, the hypnosis had been based in blame.
Yang had never been one to analyze her thoughts and feelings, but this journey had kind of forced her to do so, and she found that avoiding it had made her blissfully ignorant of how often she made excuses for herself and not for other people.
And it surprised her that she wished she could just ask Shine about them.
Imagine wanting to ask Shine for help!
But... Shine always had explanations... insights, and until Yang had wanted that, she'd found that annoying, but now that she really needed answers, she envied it.
The worst of it was she was sure Shine would really help her, but it was humiliating to even ask.
But... well... Yang was reaching the point where her fear of not dealing with it and getting caught by another Grimm was surpassing her embarrassment.
She resolved to just swallow her pride and ask about it when she got the chance.
Before they stopped to rest--which they tried to do at least once in the day so far, and then walk till it got dark, or ride sometimes--they had another problem.
Vara, who'd not been doing too well anyway, tripped over something and sprawled, both knocking herself out and jarring her ankle.
Jaune was able to help, but she was still rattled, and Theo carried her for a while after that.
Vara wasn't the only Maiden suffering, though.
Raven tried to make light of it, but her magic was off again. The visit to the god of light's shrine seemed to have made it resurface, and she turned into a bird a few times without meaning to.
She flew close to the ground or perched on people's shoulders to avoid falling--she knocked Qrow over one time by resuming human form before getting off him.
Cinder hid any discomfort she had, but some of them saw her wince like she was sore or tired.
She also kept touching her left arm stub, like it was irritating her, and frowning.
Winter, who never was one to complain, didn't say she felt bad. But while her and Weiss's summonings were carrying people for a stretch, she suddenly seemed to lose control, and hers vanished, dumping the people on them onto the hard ground painfully.
"Ow..." Emerald winced.
"Glad we weren't flying there." Mercury rubbed his shoulder.
"Are you all right there?" Sun asked, getting up.
Winter landed on the ground and put a hand to her head like she had a headache.
"Here, I can help." Jaune walked up to boost her Aura. "Uhh... if you were this low you should have said something."
"I shouldn't have been, not from this..." Winter muttered. She tried to check with her scroll--but it had died by now.
"It's going to be hard to keep stock of it," Blake noted, since her own scroll had died. "I mean, I can usually feel it when it's really low, but there's always that grey area where you don't, but a few hits could be bad... It'll be hard to time our fights if we don't know."
"Perhaps you'd better all try to think like us," Shine said. "Wally and I never try to take hits just because we can. We don't have Aura at home. Maybe that's why we end up lasting longer than you---we don't use it up recklessly."
"But why is just walking making us this tired?" Weiss asked.
"It's not just walking." Emerald got up, rubbing her thighs where she'd just hit them. "There's no sun, which makes us sleepier, and I think, like, the sun is important for something, right?"
"Vitamin D," Shine said.
"Yeah, that," Emerald said. "And we're not sleeping that much. We're only eating just enough to get by, and we're not drinking that much either. I never had to fight anything while I was here before, so it didn't matter that much to be a little weaker than usual. On top of that, the Grimm feeding off our emotions can't be helping. I feel like we're just not recharging as fast, period. That's probably why we feel like s---."
They all stared at her.
"Okay, so she is the smart one," Weiss said.
"Yeah, if she had more of a killer instinct, she'd probably have Cinder's job." Mercury rubbed his head.
Cinder glared at him.
"Oh, what are you going to do about it?" he said meanly. "I have Silver Eyes, b----. You better watch your step. I could fry off that other arm."
Cinder took a step back.
"Uh, that's not how it works," Ruby said.
"Well, I don't really care," Mercury said. "I figure if she stands close to me and I just happened to fry a Grimm or whatever at the time, it's a win-win for me, so she better keep at least a 20-foot distance away at all times."
"Actually, all of us, not just her," Winter said flatly.
"Perhaps you should be standing in the front of the group," Theo suggested. "That way if you use it again, the rest of us won't be in your line of sight. Same goes for Red."
"My name is Ruby," Ruby said.
"That's also red, so what's the dif?" Theo said.
"Because red is not my name!" she said snippily.
"I thought it was cute," Wally said.
"'Red, the color of angry men. Black, the dark of ages past. Red, a world about to dawn. Black, a night that ends at last,'" Shine sang blithely.
"Do you ever not have a song that fits something?" Weiss asked her.
"Nope," Shine replied. "I like to imagine my life having a soundtrack, but usually I have to provide it."
"That's nice," Meridian said. "I do the same thing."
"Are you serious?" Weiss said.
"Sure, it's a good way to keep your spirits up," Meridian said. "Do you know any songs about marching through a horror land, almost dying, and hoping that it'll all be worth it?"
"Mer, I'm a Christian, that's like 25% of our song lyrics," Shine said. [It really is.]
"It's not a bad way to keep the Grimm off," Wally said. "There has to be a Skillet song for this."
"Several," Shine mused. "Mmm, oh, I know! Cinder will remember this one--I was singing it while Victoria had us locked up. Remember that, Cindy?"
"I was there, you idiot," Cinder snapped.
"You liked this one," Shine said.
"I didn't like any of them," Cinder said. "Especially that one."
"So you did remember." Shine gave her a smug look.
"I would pay 5 lien to see Cinder sing it," Mercury said. "If I had 5 lien and that idea didn't sound like nails scraping a chalkboard."
"Actually, l'm sure Cinder can sing," Shine said.
"Like a Disney villain," Wally agreed.
Cinder didn't understand the insult but knew it was one.
"Well, c'est la vie." Shine cleared her throat.
"The demons come when I'm all alone
Sometimes I can't tell hell from home
I'm falling, sinking deeper in misery
When you're away from me
'Cause when you're here, I got all I need
Fight off a thousand enemies
I'm calling
I've been searching for something
Heaven or nothing. Fire up in the sky
I'm gonna light it up
Fire up in the sky
Beyond incredible. Take me away into a higher place
Where the blind men can see
I'm finally free. I need a miracle
Beyond incredible
Rising above
Where we can live for love
'Cause it's never enough
You're lifting me up to a miracle."
While they were singing this, Jaune shook his head at Winter.
"I guess just try to take it easy," he said. "Maybe you're overdoing it."
"You've boosted my Aura. It should be fine now, and we need to move fast," Winter said, summoning more beasts.
"I really think that's a bad idea," Jaune said.
"I didn't ask you," Winter said. "Move."
"I'm worried about her..." Pyrrha muttered when Jaune rejoined her.
"That makes two of us," Jaune said.
It was more than two.
Qrow kept glancing at Winter uncertainly, and when she caught him doing it, he'd look away.
She wished he'd stop. It was making her feel unsettled, and that made her annoyed.
Raven wanted to hit her head on something watching them.
[What would Raven do without this distraction, I wonder.]
Wisely, Shine called a rest stop only a short time after that.
Winter went to sit alone, ostensibly to keep watch.
Cinder said meanly that she was going to get the power passed on one way or the other if she kept it up, and Weiss told her to shut up.
Yang tugged her hair. Better just get this over with.
She walked up to Shine.
Shine took one look at her and seemed to read her mind.
"We should go check the perimeter," she said. "Wally, stay with the main group?"
"Sure, if you'll be okay doing that alone," Wally said.
"I think we can handle it," Shine said.
They walked away.
"How did you...?" Yang asked.
"You wouldn't come up to me if it wasn't something weighty," Shine said. "So I figured."
"Yeah, well, I'm not happy about it, but you seem to know stuff." Yang was tugging her hair nervously the same way she did when she was feeling awkward about something... Shine knew the gesture as far back as Beacon. [Honestly I miss Yang acting like a normal person back then.]
Shine shrugged and waited.
"I'll just get to the point," Yang said. "I've been seeing some stuff since we left Vacuo--maybe before that, actually, but it's hard not to wonder about it with all these Grimm. I...well, Ruby isn't the only one who got a warning from Alicia. I didn't like it, but ignoring it hasn't really been helping me either. And I've been thinking. I even talked to my mom... but you probably knew that."
"She hasn't said anything about it," Shine said.
"Oh?"
"But I did think there was a vibe..." Shine said.
There it was.
"You ever get tired of seeing all that?" Yang said a bit more testily.
"Yes," Shine said.
Pause.
"Well... uh... look--" Yang was still nervous. "--I'm just... I'm wondering if, you know, if I'm... maybe the problem."
That really hurt to say.
Not that this wasn't something she'd been thinking for a long time... maybe her whole life.
She waited to hear what Shine would say... The thing was, she'd probably believe whatever she said, even if it was bad.
Shine didn't answer it right off, she just thought. Then she said, "Yang, have you ever heard that everyone is the hero of their own story?"
"Yeah." Yang shrugged.
"That's bullcrap," Shine said. "I've also heard 'we are our own worst enemies.' That one is true... usually. But it's not entirely true. We self foil, but we have a real enemy out there too, and as much as we hurt ourselves, we're not as malicious towards ourselves as the true evil of the world is... so if I was to answer you about who was the problem, I couldn't give you one answer. I don't know if that's what you wanted me to say, but it's the truth. You do stuff that is wrong, but it's not all you."
"You know, that's what I thought you'd say," Yang said. "But I... still, I'm... kind of clueless, and you seem to know people pretty well... and you've never even liked me--"
"Did I say that?" Shine interrupted.
"I think so," Yang said.
"Hmm, I think I said I disliked your unpleasant behavior," Shine said. "But I think I've said that I did like you, initially... Remember you hated us at first. It's not easy to like someone who's that hostile."
Yang took that more meekly than she used to.
"Right... well, you were weird."
"And that's an excuse?" Shine raised an eyebrow.
"Uh... well, no," Yang said. "But I... okay, I did change, I admit it. But after what happened, who wouldn't have?"
"That's true," Shine shrugged. "It was horrible. But did you like what you changed into?"
Yang glanced down angrily and sadly. "No... That's the thing... I kinda feel like I lost myself somehow. Maybe it was at Beacon... Maybe it was later... I don't know. I don't know what happened to me, but it's also like... it's something maybe I never had to begin with. I also had questions about who I was because of my mom, and I didn't have what Ruby has... or even Weiss and Blake, where I had a real drive to make the world better. I just went with the flow... and I liked that but it turns out, with that, I have nothing to fall back on to explain why I'm doing any of this."
"In that case, why did you come with us?" Shine asked.
"I don't know!"
Shine gave her a look of obvious disbelief.
Yang lowered her voice. "I guess, if I didn't do this, it would have been like just accepting that it was all nothing. I mean, they all said I could stay, and you know what? I believed them. But who does that make me? The one who'd stay out of saving the world just because it wasn't my thing? That's... pathetic."
"Many people would do it."
"That doesn't make it less pathetic."
Shine laughed dryly. "Yeah, I'll give you that... Sorry, I can't get over the irony of us having this conversation of all people."
"Well, you're the one who's always on about helping us, so..." Yang shrugged.
"True..."
"And you said some stuff about loss and pain and learning from it and it making us stronger," Yang said, "which was... kind of cool. So I just thought maybe you could tell me what I'm not seeing here."
Shine tilted her head. "I can't tell you who you are. I think that it's hard to answer anyway. We never see ourselves very clearly."
"There has to be some way to feel less like a loser about this," Yang said. "Everyone else has something they want to fight for."
"Hmm," Shine said. "Well, I might be able to help you there slightly. No one doesn't have beliefs of some kind, Yang. You do too... I think you're like me, actually, in one way... uh, don't take that the wrong way."
"You said that before, but other than the parents, I don't know what you meant by that," Yang said.
"Think about the moments when you're not thinking about yourself," Shine suggested. "You're the most focused on other people. You might not even think of it because that's when it's about them. But that's the moment when you care the most about something other than yourself. And you feel happy then, right? But it's not about you. That's what I call purpose. And anything you do, you apply that purpose to it. You can be a bookkeeper or a street sweeper or king or an athlete, I don't care, but you live to that purpose."
"Huh?" Yang said.
"Like how Ozpin is supposedly playing out the same purpose no matter what he does?" Shine said. "But that is something he's forced to do. This is something that you're meant to do. When you find your center like that, you'll see how you mess it up with your mistakes, and then you can learn from it. That's how it is."
"So what's your purpose?" Yang challenged her.
Shine glanced around. "I've been told, and I believe it now, that I'm like a compass." She held up a hand like she was holding one. "It's why I teach, why I encourage, why I counsel, and why I fight when I have to. I have other sides of me, but the thing I will always come back to doing is pointing people the right direction. That's why I'm a good teacher, but even when I'm not teaching, I set an example... and even on this mission, I've had people telling me that I'm making them think of doing things differently than they have before, doing them the right way. I can be clumsy about it, and it can take a while for me to find my center at times--compasses do get thrown off by stuff--but somehow I always land on North, which in this case, is the Lord. I chose that a long time ago myself, and I swore that I would spend the rest of my life pointing other people that way, because that's what our faith is about. Now, we don't all do this the same way. We have arts, sciences, athletics, architecture, business, all of us, but we find one way in that to use it for the glory of God. God's assignment to me is guiding people to the light, and I glory in doing it because I know it's what I'm supposed to do. It's not an easy job, but I couldn't do anything else."
Yang actually could see it.
"There's a lot in there," Shine shrugged. "It turns out pointing them the right direction has a lot of benefits, like making them stronger, smarter, or faster, but if I let those things distract me too much, I can miss the point. So I gather them all in that idea. And you have something like that, I think."
"Huh?" Yang said oddly.
"Well, I watch you," Shine said, "more than you think, I'm sure, considering how well we get along, but I'm not blind to people's good points. I think that when you are the most yourself is when you're helping other people to find their strength. Showing Ruby how to fight for herself, pushing for the answers so that it's more fair, even recently with Neptune. That's what you do. You don't come alive when you're focused on your own power, but when you're helping other people find theirs."
Yang glanced at her.
There was some truth to that, now that she put it that way.
"I think you came because you always want to pursue happiness," Shine said, "but you think it's not worth it if the people around you aren't happy too. So you want to make that possible for them. That's what you defend... I could be missing part of it, but it's my observation about you... so... all these mistakes you've made along the way were veering away from that... and you have, but you bounced back. We all have. That's my two cents."
Yang had to think about that for a while before it clicked. But yeah... it felt like her.
"Wait, how long have you thought this?" she asked.
"Um, forever?" Shine shrugged.
"And you didn't say anything before?"
"I did."
No... come to think of it, a lot of Shine's rebukes to her had been about this...
"Well...crap," she said aloud.
"Look, Yang, we all go off center," Shine said in a different tone. "I'm sure that all this stuff feels terrible right now. But honestly, it's not like everyone else doesn't have their own battles. I wouldn't beat yourself up too much."
"How can you say that? I've never been nice to you, like, ever," Yang sputtered at her.
Whoa...where had that come from? What an embarrassing outburst!
But Shine didn't seem to care.
"Because I forgave you a long time ago," she said. "I mean, yeah, I get mad at you still, but it's not like I hang on to it afterwards. That would be stupid on my part. I'm supposed to be helping, not holding a grudge."
Yang actually laughed, but it was still kind of embarrassing to think about.
"You are really a piece of work," she said.
Shine cut her eyes at her.
"In a good way, I guess," Yang added. "Ugh, this is stupid. Enough fighting... Look, can we just say I apologized for everything and leave it at that?"
"Sure," Shine agreed. "And can we agree not to talk about it anymore? I find apologies extremely awkward if I'm the one getting them."
"I totally agree," Yang said.
"Cool," Shine said.
And it was the last time Shine ever did mention it, though it took Yang a while to realize it.