Mark sat in his car in front of the cemetery.
He sat here for nearly twenty minutes now, the red candles and the frame in his hands.
He tried to build up the courage to actually go to Nueas grave.
He knew that his boyfriends parents and sister already went this morning and he told them he would visit him today as well.
He really wanted to to, but he was so nervous.
It's been a whole year, yet you could count on one hand how many times Mark came here.
He always avoided visiting, which made it even harder for him.
>I got this..< he said, pulled out his carkey and stepped out of the car.
He closed the door and with each step towards the big, metal doors , his heart was beating faster and faster.
He walked through the big, green graveyard until he finally saw Nueas grave from afar.
He felt nauseous like he was about to either puke or faint.
The boy tried to stay calm until he finally arrived.
"Will this ever get any easier ?" He asked himself and sat down in front of Nueas grave.
"Hi baby." He said smiling.
"I hope you're good."
The young boy needed a second to calm his fast beating heart.
"I can't believe that it's been a whole year without you already.. It feels like it was yesterday that you and I became a couple. Suddenly there was this diagnosis and now... I'm sitting here, talking to a stone with your picture and name on it.."
...
"I don't know if it's ever going to be easier to come here but I'll try my best to come here more often.."
Mark looked around.
It was silent and nobody else was in sight.
"Nuea, baby.. I really hope you can hear me somehow.. I don't know if you're already reborn and it might sound selfish to say that I hope you're still here with me, but I really wish that you can hear my words.."
...
"It's been days since I last dreamed about you.. And I don't know if it was you who visited me or if I just thought so much about you and the whole Vee situation that my mind made you appear in my dream, but your words really opened my eyes."
>I should just shut up..<
"Well.. You reminded me of what you've said to me. You want me to be happy. You want me to marry and have kids who I can tell about you."
...
"Baby, I am ready to let you go." Mark said with tears in his eyes as he said those words.
"I'm ready to let you go.. I won't forget you, hell no. I will always love you."
>Oh lord..< The young boy thought as he finally began to cry.
"I wanted to tell you that I will try to get to know Vee further and I want you to know that I have feelings for him. I don't know where this is all going to take me, but I want you to know that I'm ready to start a new relationship. I know that you're probably really happy now after hearing this. It took me so long to finally accept the fact that there is a life after you. When you died, I thought I died as well. My time stopped the second yours did. Without you, my time didn't make sense anymore until I met Vee. You told me that I should tell him how I feel and that's exactly what I did. I hope you're proud of me ! And guess what - he actually forgave me. Well at least he said that."
Mark remained silent for a few seconds, enjoying the warm wind.
"Yesterday, he told me that he loves me. I was so happy but he didn't let me answer. I was ready to tell him this time but he just shushed me and told me not to. At least not now."
Mark chuckled.
"Ironic, isn't it ?"
"Nu, I totally forgot, I have something for you." He said and held up his hands.
"Red candles, your favorite! And I saw this frame and thought it would look nice on your.. grave. I love this picture of us." He said and showed it to the tombstone.
"I really hope that you can get to know Vee. I don't know what we are yet but I still love him and hope that he forgave me for real. Maybe we'll become a couple ? I really hope that you'll like him."
The young boy talked to Nuea for nearly and hour. Time flew by without him really noticing.
He smiled softly before he got up and placed the gifts on the grave.
Mark dusted up the dirt on his jeans and turned around to grab his bag, before he kneeled down one more time and stroked the tombstone with his hand.
"I'll go now my baby." He said.
"I promise I'll come visit you again soon. Maybe next time with Vee ? I thought it was nice when he came here with me the last time, right ?"
The young boy stood up with a sigh.
"I promise I'll be back. I love you." He said, kissed his fingers and pressed them against the stone before he turned around.
"Who's Vee ?"
"Marina.."
"Hey dear. I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw that I forgot this flower in my car when I came here earlier. I bought it for Nuea."
"Mae, it's okay. I just didn't expect someone to stand behind me."
"Come here dear." She said and pulled him in a hug before she stepped closer to her sons grave.
"Hi baby ! I forgot this flower and I wanted to give it to you."
Mark watched as she put it carefully on the grave.
"Did you bring this picture?"
"Yes. It was a gift for Nu."
"Oh my two boys. My sweet babies." She said smiling.
"It's my favorite pic of me and Nuea."
"It's a cute picture! Could you send it to me ? I don't have much pics of you two and you know you two are my kids."
The young boy nodded and she put out her hand for him to come closer.
"Dear, you want to go to a café with me ? I'm free today."
>I would love to..< he thought.
"You can tell me more about Vee." She said smiling and stood up.
With Mark in her arms they walked back to the boys car.
"Did you park your car near here ? We can drive with mine and I'll bring you back here later."
"I came here by bus dear." The older woman said.
"Oh okay, well.." Mark began and left her side to open the door of his car for her.
"You're a real gentleman."
"Just like your son Mae."
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"Now tell me honey. How's university?"
"It's good Mae. How is it at work ?"
"Oh dear.. It's okay. My boss has now filled the position that was reserved for Nuea. It's hard but he gave it to a sweet girl. Her name is Alice. She's like a daughter to me and that makes it a lot easier. I even met her girlfriends Ploy and Jenny. Such a sweet couple.. Throuple ? I'm not sure."
Mark giggled and so did she.
"Sounds like you're lucky."
"I guess so." She said and took a sip from her coffee.
"Mark ?"
"Yes Mae."
"Do you wanna tell me who that Vee person is ?"
Marks heart stopped.
He felt like he did something wrong even tho he didn't.
"Hey.." she said and grabbed the young boys hand.
"It's fine baby. You can tell me everything. I'm your mother."
"Mae.. I think I'm in love."
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Hey guys :)
Here's another chapter ^^
I hope y'all like it :)
-Jessy