Saturday: 8:55 P.M.
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I feel much more revived now that I've showered.
It felt like I hadn't bathed in over a week when it had only been a couple of hours since.
A sigh leaves my lips as I continue to rub the last of the moisturizing cream onto my freshly-shaven leg.
The lid to the lotion bottle closes with a soft snap, and I stand and walk over to the dresser to put it back in its original place.
As I place it down, the wooden tray that's nearby, filled with all types of food, catches my attention.
A smile graces my lips as I look at what's there. Lucas must've ordered in. A so long mi stay inna the bathroom?
Of all that's on the platter, I pick up a container filled with an assortment of fruits and pull a fork from the neatly napkin-wrapped set of utensils that's also there.
This big head bwoy swear mi craven than anybody else eno. Why him get so much food? Mi one can nyam this?
Scoffing beneath my breath, I shake my head and roll my eyes, but I can still feel the heat in my cheeks.
Watch mi and him...
Since I didn't see him when I came out of the bathroom, I make my way through the door with the intention to go find him, downstairs.
As I'm about to go down the stairs though, talking, on the other side of a slightly ajar door, stops me in my tracks. I turn on my heels and head there instead, stomping extra loudly so that he can hear me coming...in case he's discussing anything I shouldn't hear.
"Luke?" I also call out just to make sure.
"I'm in here," his voice comes.
OK.
"Hey," I say as I reach the doorway and push the door open a bit wider.
At the sound of my voice, Lucas closes his laptop and swivels around to face me. His eyes briefly and quickly scan my body, presumably taking note of his white dress shirt I'm wearing, before flicking back to my face. He scratches his beard and then says, "Hey."
I smile, leaning against the doorframe to what I've realized is his office. In all the months we've been together, it's my first time setting foot this far inside this room. "You OK?"
He reclines in his seat, folding his hands behind his head. His tattoos are on full display courtesy of the soso white marina he's wearing which barely covers his muscular chest. Lawks...watch him a show off him bird chest. Mussi think him deh pon runway.
"Mi gov. man. You?"
Could be better...
Wid yuh cocky inna me...
Clearing my throat, and without a word, I nod and shuffle on my feet. Jesus Christ, gyal! Mek yuh so terrible?
Lucas chuckles.
Wha yawh laugh 'bout, sir?
My eyes bulge. "Wait, mi did say that out loud?"
Lucas smirks. "Say what?"
Alright, no worry yuhself then.
"Nothing." Trying not to blush, I focus my attention on opening the fruit bowl I have in my hand. I'm surprisingly not as hungry as I was earlier.
I guess when trouble catch yuh, pickney shirt fit yuh fi true...and full yuh belly too.
Speaking of...
My mind drifts to earlier. I still can't believe all that had happened.
The thought makes me sigh. "Lucas?"
"Hmm?"
After clearing my throat, I look up to meet his eyes. "What did you say you wanted to talk about, again?"
At my question, he sits up in his seat, and a pained look quickly passes over his face——which he quickly masks. His eyes fall to the container I'm holding. Keeping his gaze fixed on it, he tells me, "That can wait a bit. Eat sum'n first."
My heart skips a beat at his tone.
But, I smile. "How that sound so?"
Lucas quirks a brow, a teasing smile curling his lips. "How?"
I walk further into the office. When I'm standing in front of his seated frame, I lift my right foot and rest it between his parted legs; my toes barely touching the crotch of his dark blue shorts. Lifting my shoulders in a nonchalant shrug, I say, "Mi nuh know. Like you're feeding me first before you're ready to deliver jeopardising news."
This makes him chuckle lowly. "Yuh nuh easy eno. Just eat."
Hmm...
Regarding him quite sceptically, I stick a slice of pineapple with my fork and tuck it into my mouth. It's sweet and crunchy and really juicy.
Yum.
Chewing slowly, I look around, to avoid meeting Lucas' intense stare, taking in my surroundings, instead.
It's a typical office set-up: a large mahogany work desk; a comfy-looking office chair, with wooden accessories to match the desk, set behind it; an olive plush couch in the far corner; and a Xerox printer behind the door. Simple and spacious ——nothing out of the norm. And, that's fine. It's the row of computers mounted above the desk that catches my attention.
Why does this man need so many computers? Him a work fi the FBI?
Swallowing the remains of the piece of fruit I'm eating, I stuff another piece into my mouth and wipe the juice which rolls down the side of my mouth. "Why do you have so many monitors in here?"
He doesn't miss a beat when he answers with a simple, "Work."
Oh.
"Speaking of work, did I interrupt you a while ago?"
He narrows his eyes. "No."
"Oh. OK."
"Mhm."
A period of awkward silence passes between us before I break it saying, "So, KeKe is nice."
Lucas nods his agreement. "Yeah. She's a cool girl."
"She's nothing like I imagined tho."
He gets up and pats the seat, signalling for me to sit. So, I do.
Tucking his arms into his pockets, he continues by saying, "How's that?"
I shrug. "Kinda stuck up. And snobby, I guess."
He chuckles.
"Wah yawh laugh fa?"
"Then wait, mi cyaa laugh again?"
His comment makes me roll my eyes. "Whatever. Move man."
"Yuh nuh understand wah mi mean?" I add. "Like, she doesn't seem pretentious. Like how some regular uptown girls are."
Him well and know wah mi mean eno. Him just tan bad.
He shakes his head but keeps the teasing smile on his lips. "Mi get weh yawh say, man. Just feel fi laugh, regardless. But, yeah...she's not like that. And, she's not uptown either."
"Oh..."
His lips lose the smile. "KeKe a real yute. Nuff people come inna mi life, but very few stays 'cause most times mi get fi see say them see-through, yuzeet. She a one a dem weh maintains the realness. Right through."
I take a bite of the melon that's among the few slices of fruit left in the container. "That's nice. How did you become friends?"
Lucas leans against the wall opposite me. "We grew up together."
I quirk a brow. "I thought you said she's not uptown."
He scoffs. "She's not. I didn't say she was."
"So what? You didn't grow up here?"
"You're thinking too deeply. It's not that deep. She's not from uptown because she's from Cassava Piece——what we consider the ghetto. But, she was my Nanny's daughter, so we were practically raised together."
Oh. OK.
I mimic his scoff. "So why yuh couldn't just say that? Yawh act like it's some trade secret or sum'n."
Or, is it?
Ignoring my statement, Lucas continues to talk, moving over to the couch and taking a seat. "We were inseparable. Even when we touched high school and went separate ways: her to Mona, and I went to KC. We'd meet up daily at the bus park where we'd hung out. My friends, at the time, quickly became her friends, and she'd set me up on a few of hers. A just so we live. Matter-of-fact, yuh remember the story I told you a couple of months ago, about the fight at bus park?"
He stares at me, and I nod, trying to rack my brain.
"Well, the 'B'...Chenel was the last one she'd tried setting me up on. And that's where all the fuckry started."
My heart skips a beat. And, I swallow hard, feeling the nerves slowly building. "Wah yuh mean by that?"
He chuckles, but it sounds bitter. "Yuh wouldn't even know the fucking half of it."
His tone of voice is calm, yet deadly.
I stop eating, feeling as if I've suddenly lost my appetite.
As if sensing my reaction to what he said and how he said it, Lucas lifts to gaze to meet mine and smiles. "Yuh good?"
No!
Of course not, sir!
How can I be when it's like yuh literally transformed before my eyes?
With a short nod, I say, "Yeah..."
"Ah."
I know he knows I'm lying. He always does.
The silence from before returns, much more tension-filled now though. Lucas buries his face in his opened palms, while I wordlessly sit there staring at him.
My mouth is without words.
My mind, on the other hand, reels.
After a while, I sigh and straighten my posture. Better to ask him about it and done, than to overthink. "Um, does it have anything to do with what you meant when you said some fuckry a gwaan inna yuh life?"
I'm surprised when he lifts his head and nods.
O...K. "Are you going to tell me about it?"
"Yes."
"So, tell mi nuh."
He sighs. "Yuh done eat?"
"I don't want any more."
Mi vibes bruk.
"Zeen." He sits up and reclines against the couch.
Ignoring the bitter taste in my mouth, and the hollow feeling in my chest, I wait for him to continue.
He remains silent for a few seconds as if contemplating whether to speak. I get anxious under his microscopic gaze.
"I have something to show you," he finally says, standing and walking over to me, "but you have to promise you won't freak out. OK?"
I don't know how I feel about that, but I nod just the same.
While filled with dread, a part of me is curious to hear what this is about.
My eyes follow Lucas as he comes to stand beside the chair I'm sitting in and opens his MacBook.
He turns the device to face him and crouches over.
I watch as his fingers dance across the keyboards before he presses one last button and eases out of his crouched position, turning the laptop back to me.
"I want you to watch this."
I follow his gaze until I settle on the video which he drags to fullscreen.
My heart leaps. "What's this?"
He steps away. "Just watch it. Carefully."
OK then...
With shaky fingers, I hit play, squinting my eyes until they adjust to the resolution.
A wah this now?
It's a camera footage, seemingly taken the night of...DJ's party?
Yes. I know because not long after the video starts, I see myself walking over to the makeshift bar counter.
I pull the chair closer and lean over so that my face is inches away from the screen.
There's no audio, but I'm assuming I ordered a drink since I see the man behind the bar nod and reached under the counter before resurfacing with a tall bottle of what looks like Vodka, a red party cup, and a shot glass.
He poured the liquor into the cup, chasing it with Pepsi, before handing the cup to me.
I downed it within seconds.
I remember I'd wanted to get drunk quickly, so I could forget about Lucas and his stint with Ashley and start enjoying myself.
I ordered another one and did the same. After three cups at the bar, mixed with about three shots of straight Vodka, I sauntered out of the camera's view shot.
Only to return a few minutes later.
This time, I'm staggering slightly, so it's obvious that the liquor had started to take effect.
Leaning over the bar, I seemed to shout something to the bartender who smiled and said something to me, in return.
I nodded and turned my back, looking out into the crowd of dancing people.
"Pay attention here," Lucas says, and I narrow my eyes at the screen.
I'm not sure what exactly I'm looking for, but when I see the bartender reach into his pockets and pulled out a small packet and slipped it into my glass before throwing the Vodka in, I know exactly what I needed to see.
My blood runs cold.
Snapping my head to face Lucas, my lips part to speak, but he motions with his head for me to continue watching the video.
So, I follow his command. Despite wanting to get up and hurl.
I watch as the guy called for my attention, and I turned to face him once more, taking the drink from his hand. I took a sip, bopping my head to the music. I remember it being so loud. The bartender stood there watching me drink the spiked liquor. Can you believe it? Our eyes made four, and I hesitantly gave him a thumbs-up before stepping away from the bar.
Just as I moved off, I bumped into a girl wearing a nice silver dress. She's about a foot shorter than me, in heels, of dark complexion and pretty.
I internally scoff as I recognise the face.
Shantae! Yes, I knew it was her.
She outstretched her hands to steady me and said something to me: I think it was to ask where the bathroom was, or sum'n. To which, I pointed ahead and answered her.
She smiled and said something else. I think it was something about my hair and my being pretty.
I returned her smile but swayed slightly. I think this is where I started to feel different. Like something was wrong.
But, at the time, I thought I was only batshit drunk.
I guess whatever the bartender had slipped into my drink had started to take effect.
Noting my reaction, Shantae stepped closer and grabbed my arms as I staggered backwards.
I giggled and answered her.
Poor thing.
The wicked gyal said something else before taking the glass from my hand and turning to say something to the piece-of-shit bartender.
Look how him a act like him clueless. Like ano him just put sum'n inna mi frigging liquor!
He handed her a bottle of water, and I watched her take it before she turned to me and said something else before pulling me ahead.
But I stopped in my tracks and said something. I remember telling her that my friends were back there.
She doesn't seem to want to hear that because she seems to object.
Now that I'm sober, I can see how cunning she's being.
I hold my breath as I watch her start leading me up the stairs.
But, a relieved yelp leaves my lips when I see DJ pop up behind us.
He said something to her and she answered, seemingly agitated.
They appeared to be arguing, based on both their facial expressions and body language.
Shantae attempted to move again, but DJ stepped between us and pulled me to him.
He said something and she responded equally as fiery, hissing her teeth.
I must've told her I knew him here because of how smug he looked. Possibly satisfied, Shantae turned and walked away.
DJ turned to me and said something to which I answered. We stood there speaking for a while before he started to move with me up the stairs.
As we're about to go up the first step, the bartender seemed to have said something because I see DJ turn and take a liquor cup from him before turning back to me and leading me up the stairs.
The camera's view ended as we disappeared into a room and closed the door.
About seven minutes afterwards, based on the timing on the screen, DJ pops up back on screen, seemingly cursing under his breath and fanning his vomit-stained shirt, I'm assuming, to stop it from clinging to his body.
He disappeared down the hall and returned into view roughly ten minutes later, dressed in a new shirt.
He must've taken a shower.
He quickly popped his head through the door I'm sleeping in, before closing it and going down the stairs.
I watch as Deidre, Sanai and DJ took turns coming to the room, just like Dee had said.
The video was fast-forwarded to the last time DJ came back to the room.
I think this is where I thought he was Lucas and asked him to fuck me. Jeezam peace. That's as far as my memory of the night goes.
My heart skips a beat when I see DJ exit the room, fixing his buttons and looking frightened as fuck.
What happened?
I can't quite remember.
But, I feel embarrassed by his reaction.
I dare not look back at Lucas. I can feel the tension oozing off of him.
He's watching me. I can feel it.
I'm guessing it's to see my reaction. I keep my face as neutral as possible, despite how I feel inside.
After all, I promised not to overreact.
Hold on...
Realizing I'd missed a part, a rewind to ten seconds earlier when I see DJ staggering up the stairs.
He looks out of it. Just like I had looked in the earlier parts of the video.
Did he...?
Was he drugged too?
Goosebumps immediately clothe my skin.
Covering my mouth, I will my heart rate to slow down.
DJ staggered across the hallway and leaned against the wall next to my door.
He kept his head down. That's until a familiar woman walked into view.
I thought she'd left!
Shantae walked over to him and touched him on his shoulder. She looked around before moving over to my door and peeking inside.
She then walked back to DJ and helped him up, slinging his hand over her shoulder to support his weight before leading him into my room.
My chest tightens.
Moments later, she exited the room and walked over to the stairs, talking on her phone.
A few minutes later, the bartender appeared and they both disappeared inside the room where DJ and I are.
I guess this is where the picture of DJ and I being in bed was taken.
Jeezam Crime!
About twelve minutes later, the same bartender guy walked out of the room with a knocked-out DJ slung over his shoulder and walked into the room next door.
Shantae exited soon after and they both headed down the stairs; one after the other.
Roughly three minutes later, I see Deidre and Petrad come up the stairs.
If only they had come a little earlier, they would've caught the Germs them!
I don't know how to feel. Or what to think, despite my mind spinning with a whirlwind of thoughts.
"So I was drugged?" I ask, turning to face Lucas when the clip finally cuts off. I feel utterly dumbfounded. Dameel was right. I swallow hard. "So, I didn't have sex with DJ?"
Of all the things running through my mind, that's the most important question for me, right now.
Lucas' jaws tick. "Based on the evidence, it doesn't seem so."
Thank God!
"Jesus!"
I snort but quickly cover my face. Oh. Em. Gee!
And look how mi class DJ as a rapist. And look how many sleepless nights I've had because of this whole ordeal. Not to mention the secret panic attacks.
"It was all a set-up."
I look back at the screen in utter disbelief.
My heartbeat is erratic, but I inconspicuously inhale deep breaths through my nostrils in an effort to calm myself down.
"Between the bartender and Shantae?"
Lucas clears his throat. "And the Romario."
My eyes bulge and I choke out a bewildered, "Romario?"
Lucas comes to sit on the edge of the desk. "Yes. I think the whole thing was a ploy to get back at me. I'm guessing the plan was to get him to sleep with you, had DJ not intervened."
"What do you mean to get back at you?"
Despite trying to hold my composure, for Lucas' sake, I'm slowly starting to freak out.
He sighs and grips the edge of the desk tightly. "The story from before...the bwoy whose head I'd fucked up was Romario Ambrose."
I gasp.
A lie!
"The mongoose face bwoy?"
He nods, but his face remains grim. "Ah. Only, I just found that out, because I didn't know his full name. We only called him Amba in high school. I think they set you up to get back at me because of what I did to him back then. I fucked his girl, so he wanted to fuck mine back. We're lucky DJ stepped in when he did."
This keeps getting worse.
Mercy!
The fact that this could've gone way worse sits heavily on my chest.
I could've been raped.
Or died!
Oh my God.
Lucas sighs heavily again and pinches the bridge of his nose. "It's like mi did know say some fuckry did a go gwaan a the party di day eno, that's why mi warn yuh nuffi go..."
At his comment, my eyes find his face, and the look in his eyes pains my heart even more.
He blames himself.
I can tell.
"I'm sorry," I apologize, but the weight of the situation still lies heavily on me.
He chuckles, but it's dry. "That good man. What's done has already been done. Cyaa change again."
I feel like crying.
"Mi just glad say your story ended better than Monique's yuzimi."
Who?
"Who?" I voice the thought.
"This is the second time I'm thrown into a situation like this. The first time was with my cousin Monique. And then with you. Unfortunately, her story didn't end as well as yours."
Swallowing hard to rid the lump from my throat, I ask, "What happened?"
He shrugs. "Similar sum'n like what happened to you. Just worse. She went to a party with a group of girls she claimed were her friends, despite my warning her not to go. Just as fucking stubborn. 'I'm gonna be fine, Luke,' she'd said. 'They are my friends.' Friends mi bloodclaat. Turned out she was unknowingly dating one of the girls ——her supposed "Friend"——cousin's boyfriend...so the party was set up for her to be drugged and assaulted.
"She was drugged, then batteried, by a group of boys all set up by the said friend and her cousin, and badly beaten. Then left for dead in an abandoned house in Grant's Pen bush. She was found by some kids playing gun war the next morning.
"When I got the news, it was like my fucking chip licked. For days mi zone out. Mi just couldn't wrap mi head 'round it. She was hospitalized for months nursing broken ribs and a fractured spine..."
He trails off, closing his eyes and folding his lips.
I blink back tears.
It takes him a few good seconds to continue saying, "Depression racked her for months. When she couldn't take it any more she killed herself. She was only twenty-two. Twenty-fucking-two: Gabby's age."
"I blamed myself for a good while. I was the older cousin she looked up to. I was supposed to be her hero. I should've protected her better. The worse part was that I couldn't do anything to help her. The bwoy dem did unknown to me, and the friends claimed she left the party with a boy, so they didn't know what happened. That was enough to push it under the rug. I guess that's what happens when your daddy's money could buy out a court case."
Oh God, no!
"Since then, I got paranoid whenever a girl I'm with wanted to go out with friends, alone. It got so bad that a few accused me of being controlling. For it not to look so bad, I allowed it but made sure to tell her not to accept any mixed drinks whenever I'm not there to monitor her.
"Remember that day at my club opening? When I'd asked how you knew Dwayne's intention wasn't to drug and rape you, I was being serious. That's why I told you not to accept any mixed liquor from people. Whether they're friends or strangers."
He shakes his head and pinches his nose, throwing his head back and chuckling bitterly. "Never mek nuh sense still, 'cause yuh never listened anyway. And see? Look how things coulda go: just like my cousin's fate. You know what's funny, Mo killed herself a day before my birthday.
"And, I was the one who found her hanging from the tree in my parent's backyard. I can talk about it now, but, when I think about it all, I really don't know how I coped. The thought of that being you...it fucked me up, Amanda. And, I swear, I don't know if I could've taken it."
My heart breaks into literal pieces hearing the pain in his voice as he speaks.
Can you imagine how the girl's parents felt?
My mind drifts to Mummy and how she would've coped.
I feel my lips tremble and, soon enough, I start to cry.
I mean full-on sobbing. Cow bawling if you must.
I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, even if I tried.
The thought of what he must've gone through. And the fact that I almost made him repeat the cycle makes me nauseous...
Just because mi did want spite him?
Because of Romario and his wicked, scheming sister?
And all for what?
Over a petty high-school feud?
My chest tightens, and it's as if my ribcage is constricting on my organs.
It feels like I'm having a heart attack——or what I imagined a heart attack to feel like. Of course, this freaks me out even more. I try to take deep breaths, but I can't. It's as if someone's squeezing my throat, stopping me from taking full breaths. But, there's no one here but Lucas and me.
I open my mouth again and try to suck some air in, but it's hard. My breathing feels laboured and my palms feel sweaty. It almost feels as if the oxygen is made of shards.
I try to compose myself by thinking happy thoughts, but I can't think of anything, only that my chest might get crushed any minute now and my heart might burst open.
The first time I'd experienced this feeling was right after Lucas had broken up with me. Then again, after the stint with Mr Halsa.
I gasp as a strong hand suddenly grips mine and pulls me to his muscular chest.
Lucas...
"Hey, hey, hey. Amanda," he coaxes, gripping both sides of my face and looking down at me. "It's OK."
I'm trembling against him. "I can't breathe."
He shakes his head repeatedly. "Hey, breathe with me. OK? Come: inhale, exhale."
I do as he says, struggling still.
Brushing the strawns of hair from my face, his fingers caress my cheeks. He looks panicked, but I can tell he's trying to mask it. "Again. In. Out."
I repeat the motion with him until I can do so on my own.
And look how he begged me not to freak out.
Oh well...
"I'm sorry!" I mutter, my face heating up despite the wetness from the tears.
He hugs me, gripping me tightly and pressing his firm body against mine.
My tears keep flowing despite the warmth of his skin, on mine, and the comfort being wrapped in his strong arms brings.
"Shh!" he coaxes, his voice cracking slightly. "Shh! It's not your fault."
"It is though," I say when I manage to find my voice again. "I shouldn't have gone to that party. I just felt you were being controlling. And wanted to be petty. Especially after the pics with Ashley and..."
Lucas pulls away and stares at me. "What pics?"
I sigh, wiping the tears from my eyes. "They're in my phone."
"Where's your phone?"
"In your room. I'll just go——"
Before I can finish my sentence properly, he moves away and heads through the door.
An overwhelmed sigh leaves my chapped lips as I sit.
I should've told Lucas to carry some water for me.
I'm drained.
My throat is parched from all that crying, and my limbs feel weak.
My eyes land on the laptop screen again, and I feel repulsed.
Just as I close the screen, Lucas enters the room once more.
I smile as he hands me my phone and a bottle of water. "Thank you."
He nods.
He waits until I drink half of the bottled water, then moves to assume his seat on the desk.
When I'm satisfied with how my throat feels, I open my phone and scroll through my gallery until I find the picture that was sent to me.
I hand Lucas the phone.
I watch him as he stares at the screen, his face cold, and impassive.
What is he thinking?
"When did you get these?"
After taking another sip of the lukewarm liquid, I say, "The night I went to DJ's party. It's actually what made me go."
Lucas' shoulders are visibly tense.
So I quickly add, "It's not the first I'm getting this type of message from this number, either. It's the same number who had sent me the pics of you and Ashley at the club that one time. Read what that caption says."
He does. But, his face remains calm.
"So Ashley is Pussy Patrol?" he mumbles beneath his breath, but I read his lips.
I quirk a brow. "Pussy what?"
He looks up at me. "Nothing. Just what I call the fucked up set of people who started this mess, months ago."
So wah that affi do wid Ashley?
"So you're saying it's Ashley?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out." He hands me back the phone, shaking his head and chuckling again. "By the way, that photo is fake. I hope you know that."
It looks real to me.
"Honestly, I didn't. Especially because of the caption. And the fact that it wasn't my first time getting pics like this. The first time it happened yuh cow me down so I couldn't get an answer. And then the panties in your car. And the girl ——who I'm now thinking is Ashley —-messaging me on IG to say she was her best friend and she knew you guys were messing around. I got...jealous."
He quirks a brow. "But I'm you man. Why didn't you ask me?"
I hang my head low. He's right. That's where I went wrong.
"Instead of jumping to conclusions and going to the party. I could've protected you had you told me what was happening, Amanda. All of this could've been avoided."
"I know. And I'm sorry. But yuh must understand wah did a go through mi head at the time! How was I supposed to know you had enemies who wanted to hurt me?"
He sighs and grinds his teeth. "All I asked was for you to listen to me. Look how easily they were able to drug you and do whatever they did. Why? Because you didn't listen to me. And because I didn't put my foot down and made sure you didn't go to that party.
"It's the same thing that happened with Jessica. I allowed her to do as she pleased because I didn't want her to brand me as 'the jealous boyfriend'. See where that got her? Cocked up and fucked by the same pussyhole who she didn't even know was my enemy.
"Then again to rassclaat, I didn't even know he was my enemy. Regardless of him being under my nose the whole time. Still, if only I'd told her, maybe she wouldn't have joined that gym. And, maybe she wouldn't have gotten fucked."
He gave a low, harsh, derisive laugh and shakes his head.
"Romario has been out for me for years. Without me knowing. Why? Because I didn't take the situation as seriously as he obviously did. My mistake. The first time I realised that something was off in my relationship was when I got a text from the number I now call Pussy Patrol telling me that Jessica was a bitch and that she was keeping secrets.
"Despite giving her the benefit of the doubt, because mi know how people messy and shit, I started watching her covertly, but she didn't do anything outside the norm. Jessica knew me. And she knew how I felt about cheating. Worse, she was the first girl I ever felt a certain way about, besides you.
"Everything was good until I started getting more frequent texts from the number with photos and information about her. It got worse when she joined Ambrosia. At the time, I didn't think much about it. It was just a gym, in my head. And in my head Jessica was loyal. And, she knew not to fuck 'round mi medz.
"Things got worse when I left for the States when Pops got sick. I was spending more and more time away from Jessica, and in return, she was spending more time at the gym. I started getting suspicious when I got a text telling me she was cheating on me.
"I started scoping out her socials. I saw posts revolving around her fitness program, which were highly suggestive to me. But, I tried to justify it as me being overly jealous and making Pussy Patrol get to my head.
"That's until I saw her post a pic tagging the gym and adding a fucked up caption bout wanting to be stretched and shit. That was it for me. As soon as I landed in Jamaica, I confronted her about it, but, of course, she denied the fuck out of it.
"I played it cool, promising her that she'd regret it if it turned out to be true that she was cheating on me. Mi naggo lie, mi nuh beat woman, but to how mi did feel, at the time, mi woulda fuck her up. Jah know. And she knew it. That was our biggest argument.
"Things took a turn when mi noticed say Petrad start to move a way. But, him wouldn't tell me why. The man know say mi and Jess a have problems 'cause every time mi out fi blow a fuse a him mi go to, and him know say mi a try fi work shit out with her, so it's like mi couldn't understand why him a force on bare woman pon mi, yuzeet. A wah day, after everything go dung wid you and DJ, mi get fi find out say a true him sight the rake wid Jessica and fi him bwoy from Ambrosia.
"Anyways, things did get too tense between me and Jessica after that, and mi start pull away from her likkle by likkle. Every other day we argue and mi a man cyaa tek the fuckry fi too long. So this make mi drift weh even worse. The last time we argue, she mek mi pree some wicked shit, so mi tell her say we left. Worse mi go find out say she did a plan fi fly out and nuh tell mi.
"Nuttn mi nuh hate like a woman who full a secrets. That was the last straw. If mi and yuh can deh and serious so and yuh can pull a stunt like that, how the fuck mi fi trust yuh? So, mi ask her fi come outa mi house and mi leff go Pricesmart the afternoon so mi never affi deh deh when she a cut. A desso mi meet yuh fi the first time.
"The night when I saw you and your boy toy at the restaurant, I'd met up with Petrad there to reason out sum'n. Jessica was pestering me to get back with her. She'd been calling, claiming she loved me, that she made a mistake, and threatening to mess up any relationship I had after her if I didn't take her back.
"I got upset, so I needed to clear my head. But, when I saw you and that sissy, I knew I wanted you. As fucked up as it sounds. You were different. Calm. Sexy. Less chaotic. But, by the end of the night, I winded up back in bed with her, trying to clear my head of you.
"Jessica took that as a sign that I'd forgiven her and started begging for us to do couple-y shit again. I obliged some of it, as I felt sorry for her. And, I'm not gonna lie, I still had feelings for her too. Plus, it was only for a time. She would've been leaving by month's end, anyway. No matter how hard I tried to forget you with her though, I couldn't.
"The night of the charity event, I had no intentions of taking you home. Because I knew you had a man and I didn't want to force you to cheat. That was until I got to hang out with you. I enjoyed your vibe, but I can tell you had problems in your...relationship, as well. And then after what happened in the storage room, I just couldn't help myself. It was sealed though when I got the video of Ambrose fucking Jessica while we were out on the balcony."
My eyes widen in shock. "Oh."
"Yeah. So a so we ended up fucking the night. I needed to control my temper and sex was the best way I knew how to."
Interesting.
Folding my arms across my chest, I ask the question that's on my mind: "So you only fucked me to forget about your cheating ex?"
"No. I fucked you because I wanted to."
If yuh say so...
"But you still weren't over your ex, right? She called you the morning after. Remember? The time you called me a TV."
Mi cyaa figot.
He chuckles.
Ignoring my statement, he continues saying, "Anyways, that was the last I heard from Pussy Patrol, in months. Until I got the pics of you meeting up wid yuh waste man ex. And then again with you and DJ in bed."
I sigh. "So this whole time my life was under a microscope and I didn't know?"
He frowns. "As I said, people can be messy."
"You don't say."
"Ambrose and his sister used the gym to get to Jessica because I'm guessing they knew how serious I was about her. It was a trap to get to me, and because she was vulnerable, she fell right into it. The night, at your apartment, the reason why I got so fucking upset was that I couldn't believe it was happening again.
"I just couldn't understand why, of all the gyms, it had to be that one. While I trust that you aren't Jessica, I knew you were walking blindly into a Lion's den, so I planned on telling you about everything wah a go dung. I just had some things to straighten out first. But, when yuh call mi tonight, and I heard the panic in your tone, it's like mi couldn't wait another minute. Mi nuh waan see yuh back a tha gym deh, Amanda."
After mi nuh mad. After all a wah mi hear, tonight? "I didn't plan on going back."
"Good."
He goes silent, and I take the time to go over all that was just said.
It was a mouthful.
Out of everything, my mind drifts back to his comment about them targeting his women to get back at him. I clear my throat. "Luke?"
"Hmm?" he says, uncorking the bottle I handed to him and taking a huge gulp of the water.
"Do you think it's possible that they drugged Jessica, too?"
It makes sense.
He goes silent for a short while then says, "It's possible. But, I don't think so. Jessica hid it from me for months, so I think she consciously decided to fuck the hombre. He clearly got in her head."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Unlike the uncertainty I felt about your situation, I was convinced Jessica did it. Because, unlike yours, I actually got video proof. Plus, I think she was being blackmailed. That's why she ran away."
"Damn."
"So, do you see why I'm the way I am, now?" he asks when I'm finally rendered speechless. He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me as I stand between his parted legs. "It's for your own good. We're living in a fucked up world, Amanda. People do messed up shit daily. It's good when we have someone watching our backs."
It warms my heart when I think about all he must be feeling every time I defy him. But, he still cares.
I sniffle. "Like Deacon does for yours."
I feel his grip around my waist tighten. "Deacon is different. He feels he owes me loyalty for what I did for him years ago. If it hadn't been for me he would've been behind bars from the tender age of seventeen, on counts of murdering his father in cold blood. Despite being innocent."
I gasp. "What? How come?"
"His uncle, Spengga, tried to frame him. Thirst for blood and the greed for power and money made a man kill his own brother in cold blood and tried to pin it on his own underaged blood nephew, just so he could take control of the donship."
I cover my mouth in shock. "Jesus."
Lucas chuckles bitterly, shaking his head as if being brought down memory lane. "If it hadn't been for me begging——literally pleading to—— my father to put his best lawyer on the case, another young, black youth would've been lost to the system. With Senior's help, he won the case and his uncle was convicted, instead.
"The chaos and the void left in the community pushed Deacon to take on the role his father gave up prematurely, despite being a good youth with a promising future ahead. That's why I told you not to be so quick to judge a person. Some of us nuh have no GPS. We are just trying to navigate life with the shitty compass society has sold us."
Wow.
I nod.
This man here has not failed to surprise me since he started talking tonight.
He pecks my nose, before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "Yuh good?"
This is a lot to digest, but I try to keep my cool.
I nod and give a meek, "Yeah."
As good as can be...
"Good."
"So what's gonna happen now, Luke?" I ask after a while. "With everything."
His shrug is nonchalant, but his voice is firm when he says, "I'm gonna fix it."
My heart skips a beat. "How?"
He pecks my nose again. "Don't worry about that."
His comment and how nonchalant he's being make me nervous.
Trying not to dwell too much on it, I instead ask, "Is that why we can't be together?"
I remember him saying something about that.
"Yes."
"And you and Ashley? Why can you be seen with her, and not with me?"
He chuckles. Then sighs. "It's for your own protection, Amanda. 'Cause mi nuh waan affi get dawk up inna this rass."
"I know. But, why can't we just stay how we are, and you do your thing? Why do you have to hang around with Ashley, for everyone to see?"
I know how it makes me sound, but I can't take the fact that he's hanging with that mothercunt.
Whether or not it's intimate.
Especially, if it's intimate.
Somehow, I just feel like she's involved in this whole thing in some way, shape, or form.
Mi just cyaa stand the bitch.
"I need her to trust me."
"Why?"
He sighs. "Because I need her help."
I resist hissing my teeth.
"OK. So, what can I do to help?"
"Nothing."
I look at him.
"You're not getting any more involved than you already are," he simply states.
I sigh.
"Do you know how it gut me hearing the panic in your voice a while ago, woman? Imagine what it would do to me knowing that you got hurt...because of me."
"I won't get hurt, though..."
"Amanda."
I sigh. "Fine."
"And, I mean it."
Whatever Lucas.
I roll my eyes and pull away from him. "Are you done? I want to go to bed. I'm tired."
And annoyed.
He releases his grip on my waist, and I step away so he has enough room to stand.
He presses the power button on my phone that's on the desk and looks at the time.
I peer over too. It's minutes to 1 A.M.
Mi rahtid!
A so it late?
Turning on my heels, I head through the door with Lucas trailing behind me.
We walk in silence to his bedroom, where he makes a beeline for the bathroom upon entering.
I hear the shower come on and sigh, before moving to remove the cover sheet from the bed.
Climbing into the bed, I sigh and pick up my phone, deciding to pass the time with IG as a distraction.
Moments later, Lucas comes back into view, dressed in soso Polo underpants that's fitted to his frame. He stops in front of the bed.
His bulge is prominent and beckons to me.
Clearing my throat, I peel my eyes away and back to my phone.
"Thought you would've been asleep by now," he says, coming around to the other side of the bed.
I shuffle and fold my lips to stop the smile from spreading. "Was waiting on you."
"Oh."
Yeah.
I tense as I feel him come up behind me, reaching over and pulling the phone out of my grip. "Bedtime."
His breath fans my face and tickles my neck.
Jesus!
I relax and close my eyes, as he lays behind me and pulls me to him.
I can feel the tent in his underpants brushing against my ass every time I deliberately move, jutting out my ass so I can feel it.
I almost laugh aloud when he grips my waist and steadies me. "Go to your bed, Amanda."
Murdaaaaaaaaaa!
"So what do you see me trying to do, sir?"
He chuckles and his body vibrates against mine.
But, he doesn't say anything else. Neither does he remove the tight grip from my waist.
This man!
With a defeated sigh, I pull the pillow under my head and close my eyes, willing sleep to come despite my racing mind.
It has been a long day.
Sigh.