Harry's bedroom is just as big in front of him as the rest of the house and Louis pauses in the doorway to take it in. It's the only room in the house that feels cozier and more personal than the rest. He wasn't expecting the huge bed covered in light pink linens, yet it suits the man he's slowly but surely discovering behind the mean facade. There are lots of picture frames with different people on them on the window sill, as well as on the bedside table, and Louis would love to look at each one. The long curtains are gray with a fine floral print and his jewelry collection can be seen impressively on a white chest of drawers. On the walls are many pictures of different art styles that Louis has absolutely no idea about and even a rainbow flag on a door of his closet. There is so much to discover in this room that Louis doesn't notice how Harry, who stood next to him, is now walking around him, thus blocking his view of the room. Apparently he misinterpreted his stare as hesitation.
"Don't you like to stay here anymore?" he asks cautiously and with such a puppy look that Louis only becomes softer for him.
"Yes, sorry, I just had to let it sink in. I was just so surprised by your bedroom. It's completely different from the rest of the house. Much cozier to be honest."
"Here I can be myself. Here's what I like. But my other rooms are designed in such a way that they don't reveal anything about me when I have visitors. People often come and go here that I've seen at least once before, if I'm lucky, so I don't want it to reveal anything about me. You know, closet and all that," he says, and with his last sentence he twists his face into a frowning grimace.
Louis just nods, because he has absolutely no idea what it must be like for Harry to be in the closet, how long he's been in it and what it all means in detail. But he doesn't feel ready for this conversation tonight, the previous one was already enough for him and it actually all feels like a dream. Harry slowly pulls him into the room and Louis finds it difficult to comprehend the touches, which are so tender and careful this time. He wouldn't have thought it was possible that there was such a gentle being behind Harry Styles. When they stop in front of his bed and both stare down at it, as if it were a hurdle they both have to overcome, his heart starts beating faster again. As Harry's pinky loops around on his own, he finally looks up at Harry, who is already looking down at him. It's breathtaking, a very special magic between the two that also makes Harry breathe faster. His cheeks and the tip of his nose are rosy from the wine or his feelings, who knows, and his wild curls on his head, through which he kept running his hands on the terrace during their conversation.
"Would it be okay if I shower before we go to bed? I'm sweaty from the club," Louis asks, looking down at himself self-critically.
"Of course. May I accompany you?" Harry asks softly and scrunches his nose so sweetly at the question that of course he can't say no.
"Come on Styles," Louis winks and tries with all his might not to fall directly into bed with him and kiss him in oblivion. Because now he can and may, this time he doesn't have to hold back his tenderness like after the sex in Manhattan. Harry wants more - more from Louis and just the thought of it makes butterflies fly in his stomach. Though Louis doesn't want to get his hopes up too high as to whether they have a future together. First he wants to get to know Harry properly, the insults of the last few weeks are not completely forgotten and even if he now knows a little bit about the reason behind them, his mind advises caution. Louis is already too emotionally involved though, and while his heart is screaming at him to give himself fully to Harry, he's too mature and experienced enough to know they need to take their time.
While Louis is still lost in his thoughts, Harry has grabbed him around the waist and so the two of them go tightly to his en suite. Again, everything is luxuriously furnished, but here too, traces of Harry can be seen, just like in the bedroom. There is a large collection of nail polishes on a shelf and a pink and light purple bathrobe hanging next to the shower and they look so plush that Louis wants to snuggle up in them right away. Because of the alcohol in his body and all the new knowledge he got today, he feels tired.
They undress in silence without looking away. Even though the two have seen each other naked before, it feels different this time as there is no heat and build-up tension between them and Louis finally averts his gaze as they both reach their pants. Louis hates that stage in a relationship, or whatever you like to call it, when self-doubt about your body becomes uncomfortable and you just want to be one step further. Then when you know each other inside out and you are no longer embarrassed in front of your partner.
"Come on Louis, get under the warm water. You've got goosebumps," Harry says quietly and he quickly slips under the large shower, which Harry has already turned on.
Warm water and an equally warm body welcome him, enclose him in strong arms and for a long time both just stand close together and let themselves be sprinkled. Louis' head rests on Harry's chest and his head rests gently on his own. This moment feels so peaceful that Louis can't help but let out a small sigh.
"Are you alright?" Harry wants to know.
"Yeah, I'm just so tired and it doesn't feel real to be standing here with you without arguing. How could that happen?"
Louis looks up at Harry, but the pounding water makes it hard not to have to close his eyes all the time.
"It was long overdue," Harry murmurs, and then he leans down and gives him the softest kiss he's ever received. As light as a feather, his lips caress his own, he can hardly feel them and yet it is enough that Louis crosses his hands behind Harry's back so as not to lose his footing. The kiss feels like a promise that Louis can't put into words but he senses Harry's seriousness behind it and the soft whimper escaping him into the kiss, that can barely be heard underwater, is proof enough for him that Harry feels the same way.
Louis finally breaks the kiss with a gentle peck on the tip of Harry's nose and then grabs the shower gel. Harry silently watches him as Louis rubs it onto him in circular motions, tracing each tattoo slowly with his fingertips. He's rediscovering Harry's body, taking the time they didn't have last time while Harry keeps bending down and kissing his wet hair or cheek. Louis never wants to leave this shower, wants to be stuck in this moment forever - because here they are just Harry and Louis. No world famous singer and no paparazzi. Not two people who have dissed each other for weeks. No fake girlfriend or worrying about what this all means for the future. Just two men getting lost in each other and enjoying the closeness they share.
As Harry begins to wash his hair himself, Louis does it too and the no longer close physical contact feels so wrong that Louis is downright relieved when both are done and they slip into a hug before stepping out of the shower.
"Shall I give you something to wear or do you sleep naked?" Harry asks as they head back into the bedroom.
"Naked. I hate clothes at night," Louis replies, unable to resist a loud yawn.
"Me too. Go on then, off to bed with you," Harry says, already crawling onto the bed, lying down and invitingly lifting the covers for Louis. Louis immediately follows the invitation and is then surprised when Harry smiles sheepishly, makes himself really small and grabs Louis' arm to put it down so he can snuggle into it.
"So you're the little spoon?" Louis grins, rubbing his nose against Harry's by bowing his head down to him.
"Yeah, always has been," Harry murmurs, eyes already closed as he snuggles closer to his chest, nuzzling in it and throwing one of his long legs over his and leaving Louis little room to move. Instead, he hugs Harry a little tighter and when he hears a small sigh, he just has to smile.
"Are we going to talk more about all of this tomorrow?" Harry asks, his voice already sleepy.
"Yes. Sleep tight Styles," Louis whispers and begins to gently scratch Harry's neck.
"Good night Tomlinson."
⊷ ❤︎︎ ⊶
Louis opens his eyes and is greeted with green ones already looking at him as tired as he feels.
"You look so peaceful when you sleep," Harry murmurs, voice even deeper from sleep.
"And you're a creep. Stop watching me sleep," Louis grumbles, turning away from Harry as he pulls the blanket with him and burrows himself into it.
"Why in such a bad mood?" Harry demands, poking a finger in his back over and over again.
"Harry, if you don't have a death wish, keep this in mind for the future - I'm not a morning person and I need a coffee before I say a word. So I've already spoken too much."
He hears Harry chuckle, feels the mattress move and then hears soft footsteps leave the room. Louis closes his eyes again but doesn't manage to fall asleep again, instead hearing the distant clatter of dishes and cupboard doors being swung open and closed. When Harry suddenly starts to sing, he realizes again that he is a pop star and that he is in his bed. His tired brain is suddenly wide awake and he listens to Harry's singing softly coming through the half-open door to him.
A short time later, Harry comes back into the bedroom with two cups and Louis leans his upper body against the bed frame to take one of them. Harry doesn't say anything but smiles and lies down next to him. So both of them sip their coffee in complete silence, leaning against the bed and keep stealing glances at each other.
"Why were you always so rude to me and gave me the middle finger?" Louis suddenly asks into the silence and Harry puts the cup down on the bedside table, then turns to the side so he faces Louis.
"I already told you the main reason last night, but also because you always screwed up your face so cutely. I always had to smile about it afterwards when I recalled it. I'm obsessed with it," Harry grins, his eyes unable to hide a cheeky gleam.
"Tell me about. What kind of face did I made?"
"Oh, your eyes really sparkled and looked even bluer than usual. And your nose pulled up so that here," he points to the bridge of his nose with his index finger, "a small wrinkle appeared. And your mouth puckered so much I wanted to kiss it away every time. Which brought me back to my original problem."
What started out so harmless ends up with the unpleasant subject again and Louis has sympathy for Harry who suddenly looks miserable again. He quickly grabs his hand and interlocks their fingers.
"How long have you been in the closet Harry? And can't you get out of the contracts before five years?" he asks cautiously. Harry lowers his eyes and shakes his head.
"No, if I don't want to lose everything and be sued for the rest of my life, then absolutely not. I should never have signed those contracts. I was young and dumb, I was offered a career I had only dreamed of before. Of course I accepted everything I was offered. Worst of all, I thought my manager Jess was a friend. He promised me things that never came true and I believed him. I was 16 years old Louis. Damn young 16 years and now I'm 28 and I'm unhappy. The only thing I enjoy is performing when I see my fans, their signs and I see how many know the truth that I'm not allowed to speak."
Tears well up in Louis' eyes because Harry looks like he's already cried all the tears in the world and instead he seems so broken that he wants to take him to a deserted island to cuddle him there all day and throw rainbow confetti at him.
"Have you ever had a boyfriend in all these years?"
"Yes twice. Nobody put up with me and the management for long, who threatened not only me but also them. Jess always did it in a friendly way, but the meaning behind it was always easy to see. And the two were out themselves and were suddenly back in the closet. The breakup was always hard for me because it felt like I was to blame for everything. I was the one who signed contracts without a plan or rather persuaded my parents to do so, because I was still a minor at the time. How was it with you Louis, did you have boyfriends too?"
"No, only girlfriends. I didn't even know I was into men until I met you. You were my gay awakening," Louis admits and Harry's jaw drops.
"Really? But of course, it makes sense. That's why you were still a virgin," Harry stammers.
"Only in gay sex. I had sex with women," Louis corrects and takes the last sip of coffee from his cup.
"Does that mean you're Bi? Or Pan?"
"No, I'm gay. Definitive. But I only knew that after we had sex. Until then, I still thought that I was into both. But no woman in the world can give me what you showed me," Louis replies quietly as he moves a little closer to Harry so that they are face to face.
"I'm actually a hopeless romantic and would have loved to make your first time special. Can we be honest with each other from now? Please?" Harry pulls him closer so that Louis nestles his face into his chest and the fine hairs on Harry's chest tickle his nose.
"Yes, whatever this is between us, but a basis of honesty is probably best."
He feels Harry nod and then they let their hands run over each other's bodies, gentle touches while each is lost in thought.
"Harry, I'm sorry you're suffering so much from your management. If you want to be weak, you can always come to me. And, um, you won't lose me. No matter what happens in the future, you have me for sure. Please don't freak out anymore about my first time either, it was wild - yes, but I needed it just as much as you did at that moment. If I had felt uncomfortable I would have told you. I'm glad it was you who deflowered me," Louis lifts his eyes again at these words and searches for Harry's.
Harry swallows audibly and visibly, and his hand rests on his cheek while stroking his thumb over and over his cheekbone. Louis closes his eyes in bliss, enjoys the tenderness and the unspoken that lies between them that leaves a tingling in his whole body.
"Me too," Harry breathes before sealing his lips with his. His tongue seeks its way into his mouth and Louis lets him do it, puts all his emotions floating around in this kiss.
They spend the rest of the day naked in bed, but it stays with innocent touches and kisses, lighter conversations about their family and friends until Louis finally has to tear himself away from him in the evening to go home.
Harry insisted his bodyguard drive him home and that he didn't spend a penny on a cab.
When the time finally comes, it takes them a long time to break out of the goodbye kiss. They exchanged numbers and Louis had to promise Harry that they would see each other again at the earliest possible opportunity.
"Love, I have to go now, your bodyguard must have been waiting for me outside for ten minutes," Louis says and Harry nods sadly.
"I like it when you call me 'love,'" Harry answers, stealing another little kiss and Louis just smiles in return.
As he steps out the door and takes one last look around, he finds it just as difficult as Harry to get out of the little bubble they've been locked in since last night. He waves to Harry again and then with a sigh closes the door behind him to get into the waiting car.
⊷ ❤︎︎ ⊶
To fill the silence in his own apartment and to hear how the evening for Niall and Bree went, he calls his best friend, which is answered on the second ring.
"Where the heck were you? I've been trying to reach you since this morning. Was that dick so good that you weren't able to get back to me?" Niall calls out angrily and Louis has to hold the phone away from his ear.
"Sorry, I haven't even checked my messages yet, but called you as soon as I walked into my apartment," Louis replies.
"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now to the important part of my question. Was he good?
Louis can't help but laugh and Niall joins in too.
"I haven't had sex. But I met Harvey again at the club," he finally says, hoping Niall will believe his lie.
"Wow, what's the small possibility that Harvey from Manhattan is in the same gay club in LA? That's a match made in heaven," Niall says in amazement.
"Yes it absolutely is apparently. It was good to see him again. I went to his house and we talked a lot. Let's see how things go with us. But how was your evening with Bree?"
"Oh god, I love this girl," Niall sighs in a tone Louis has never heard in all the years he's been friends with him.
"Caution! Unless you're absolutely sure you want her as your woman for the rest of your life, I won't allow you to court her," Louis says seriously, knowing how difficult it is for Bree to find a partner and certainly he doesn't want to that Niall is another disappointment to her.
"I am. She is so wonderful. And so pretty." Niall enthuses and Louis hears the seriousness in his words.
"Good luck Niall. I don't know how much she told you but you need patience. And I don't want you to make the first move, whether it's a kiss or anything else."
"Why?" Niall asks in surprise.
"That's her part to tell, not mine. But stick with it or we'll have a problem." Louis loves his best friend and knows he's a good man but he needs to make sure Bree is protected, she's become too important to him and it almost feels like he's here to speak out for her like a brother.
"Wow, so protective Louis. I understand it. Now loosen up," Niall giggles.
"I only want what's best for you both. And if you're the best for each other, I'm your biggest supporter. But please always consider my words," Louis replies, somewhat more relaxed.
"Okay Louis. And thank you. It's good to have you as a friend."
"Ditto, mate."
The two talk for a little while, but then they hang up, after which Niall is keen to tell Bree that Louis made it home safely. Louis knows that this is only an excuse to contact her but keeps it to himself.
That night he goes to bed with a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand he is happy about the development between Harry and himself but on the other hand he already misses him terribly and wishes he could hold him in his arms again while he slowly drifts off into his sleep.