5. miserable hands
"Do I look handsome?"
If it was a question which Han Go-woon had to answer at home, she'd definitely roll her eyes at her brother's very obnoxious remark and still say yes because he was handsome. But now that they were in the bookstore, around a few school kids who were sitting either with their school work or reading some comics, all she felt was embarassment.
"Oppa!" She hissed at her brother's nonchalant question which brought the attention of everyone, especially the girls who couldn't help but swoon at the very charming Han Seojun. "Are you here to pick me up or embarrass me?" She whisper yelled at her brother who was admiring his hair in the reflective glass.
"Embarrass?" Han Seojun frowned, turning to face his flushed sister, "Ya, you're Han Seojun's sister, there's nothing embarassing about that." With that he eyed the kids who were watching him, his one intimidating glare was enough for them to avert their gazes. "Just answer the question, geez."
Go-woon looked at her brother, she'd never know what her brother was thinking because he was always unpredictable in everything he did. But that being said, Seojun never asked her about his looks, it was an unspoken rule in the family that beauty standards never really mattered. She pushed her glasses over her nose, keeping the comic book aside. "Oppa, did some girl reject you?" She grinned when Han Seojun's eyes widened as he turned.
"Ya!"
"Uhuh, this means someone actually ignored you!" She giggled, speaking loud enough for the others to hear and Seojun rushed towards her, shushing the girl.
"No girl can resist my charm," Han Seojun adjusted his leather jacket, "you know that."
"Except for Jugyeong unnie..." His sister mumbled over her breath receiving Han Seojun's glare in response. "I mean, why the sudden question?" She was almost at the end of her shift, books all tidied and cash neatly locked in the register.
Han Seojun gulped, that was a good question considering how he never mentioned about his looks in front his little sister because he knew she was a bit insecure. And even though he often joked about being handsome, he knew that it did not really matter and that the inner beauty would often be the purest thing. But it did occur to him since middle school on how his good looks would get him an easy pass on things, whispers and warm gazes from girls, the envious stares from boys and of course, garnering attention all the time.
Seojun thought it would be easy for him to get Kang Soojin's attention, after all, he was gifted with a remarkable charming face but when he asked her to spare some time to discuss about the project, the girl simply denied. He had a hard time to not be startled at her simple rejection, because even before he'd ask girls to do something for him, they'd readily agree. And here, Soojin, even after being offered for a coffee outing, denied without even thinking about it.
That girl was way different than the others, he knew that, but so unfazed by him, that was a little tough for him to digest. He noticed how she got a call from someone and the little spark she had on her face died instantly and her hand fisted, which to Han Seojun meant that the caller was dead meat.
"Who?" He asked, curious about the person who would dare ruin Soojin's mood.
"Why should it matter to you?"
"Ya, you cannot question another question."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"Ya Han Seojun, is that why you came all the way here?" Soojin asked, hand over her head which ached a bit more. "To bother me?"
He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "you really do think the world revolves around you." She flared at that remark and Han Seojun adjusted his jacket, "if it wasn't for me, you'd be losing your marks so be grateful."
"Gomawo!" She replied, irritated, "is that enough?"
"For now."
"Just leave," Soojin said, clutching onto her mobile, "and we can discuss about the project in school, you don't have to take the trouble to meet me here." She remarked sarcastically, her words making it tougher for the guy to get a hold of his temper.
"You really are a princess." Han Seojun pressing the button which irked her the most, "a very arrogant, spoilt princess." He didn't wait for her reaction as he hopped on his bike, buckling his helmet and rode off the road in a quick second.
"Aish," Soojin stamped her foot on the ground in sheer anger, "why Han Seojun out of everyone." She muttered to herself, "the most annoying dumb guy of the class!" She walked back to her house with the thought of wanting to murder the biker and almost forgot all about the call and the test results she got.
It was dinner time when Soojin remembered about her mock test results and when her father asked her about it, she sighed. She had lost ten marks out of the total and her father yelled at her the entire evening, so much that she lost her appetite. Her eyes lowered, and her mother trying to stop the argument only for her father to raise his voice even more.
"I paid so much for these tests, invested so much money on you!" He reminded her, time and again, "you have to repay it by being a successful doctor, by a profession that could befit us. And this is how you're gonna study for it?" He scoffed, completely ignorant to the way Soojin was feeling. Her hands rubbing against the other, she wanted to peel off the rough skin off her hands but she resisted it, instead she held the edge of the table firmly. "You're getting nowhere with this attitude of yours." He further added, "if only my son was alive, he'd do so much more than a pathetic girl as you." With that he stormed off and behind him, her mother ran, trying to cool the situation.
Soojin remained seated on the dining table, her hands now red with the way she held the seat and her heart a step closer to being caged behind strong walls. She got off the seat like a mindless zombie and walked towards her room, closing it from the inside as she sat on the face of the door.
And there she sat, crying, arms around herself so she'd feel the safety of a warm hug and eyes dreadfully shutting, in the hope of not waking up the next morning.
_
"Seojun-ah," Jugyeong called out to the sleeping boy from across the classroom. "Ya, wake up." She yelled, throwing a paper ball at the guy.
"Wae?" He muttered, yawning, "is the class over?"
"Han Seojun, you should start paying attention now that the finals are near." Suho added, seated still, calm yet fierce. "Don't you want a good grade?"
"I'm not a nerd like you," Seojun yawned, sitting back, eyeing the couple who were troubling him. The class was slowly dispersing, half of them were already gone, the other half packing their stuff. He looked towards Kang Soojin, the girl who was staring at her hands for some reason. "And anyway, I'm intending to get a full scholarship in sports. I don't need no grades." He shrugged, making Lee Suho to shake his head in disapproval and for Lim Jugyeong to hit him with another paper ball.
"We're hitting the karoke tonight." Su-ah smiled at the gang, her boyfriend besides, "you wanna join us?" She asked Suho and Seojun, "Lim Ju and I are singing a duet."
"Aniyo," Han Seojun frowned, "don't want my ears to bleed listening to this screeching girl." He pointed at Lim Jugyeong, who was offended to say the least.
"Well if you can sing, why don't you join us. We can have a face-off."
"He'll win." Suho added, smiling at the boy, "Seojun has a good voice, he's just shy."
"Ya!" Seojun stood up, folding his sleeves, "I'm not shy."
"Cool," Suho smiled, getting up as he faced Seojun, "evening at 5, see you." And with that Suho departed, Jugyeong behind him as she teased Han Seojun while leaving.
"Aish," Han Seojun ran his hand through his hair, "how do I always fall for his tricks. That sly fox." He muttered while picking his bag, waving goodbye to the ones who left. Only Soojin stayed behind, he noticed, but he was still mad at her from last evening and more so, on him, because his plan wasn't going as he intended. At this rate, he's just going to lose his temper at the heartless girl.
He walked past her, but failed to keep up with his decision when he glanced at her, only to see her hands with a shade of black. He frowned, he never really paid attention to Soojin's hand because there wasn't any reason for that, but now as he peeked he could see the state of her miserable hands.
"What happened?" He couldn't help but ask and Soojin's trance broke instantly, she put her hands on her lap, looking up at the tall guy.
"Nothing," she replied curtly, the way she could keep a straight face was commendable. Soojin packed her bag and stood up, only to have Seojun block her way out of the desk. "Ya, Han Seojun, why do you keep being this..."
"Handsome, beautiful, swoon worthy lad?" He tilted his head, meeting her eyes and she frowned even more. His smile often triggered her and it was fun to watch her all worked up. "I didn't know you have a thing for me, Kang Soojin."
That made Soojin laugh, a sarcastic chuckle more so, "me, having a thing for you?" She flipped her long hair behind, facing the guy, "for a below average intelligent guy, you do have a good sense of imagination. I'll give you that."
"Aish, below average?" He didn't like anyone mocking his intelligence, surely he wasn't book smart, but that shouldn't be the reason for her to judge him. "There's more to people than what meets the eye," He replied, clutching his bag, "and atleast I'm not the loner of the class, right?" He hit the hammer right where it hurt and walked off the classroom, enjoying how annoyed Soojin was after that statement.
"What does she think of herself?" He scoffed, walking past his school mates, "no wonder she was jealous of Lim Jugyeong, that girl is no match for someone as nice as Jugyeong." He stopped midway when he remembered that it was her hands that had started this conversation, more like an argument.
Her hands. They looked like they needed help.
Han Seojun never thought a pair of miserable hands would get him so worked up. "Aish, what's wrong with me." He said to himself, speaking aloud had been a great coping mechanism after his best friend's death, it kept him in check with the others. "Kang Soojin doesn't deserve an ounce of sympathy, to hell with her hands." And with that he was out.
Soojin had to take another test that evening and she didn't have the energy to do so, after studying for 16 hours straight for a week, all she wanted was some rest, a break, maybe just a nice nap but she knew that if she didn't do well, her father would not let her breathe in peace. She wiped the tear that threatened to fall on her cheek and yet another one beat her to it and she sat down.
Things were getting tougher than she thought it would with no friends to talk to, no Suho to be around, no Jugyeong to goof with and no Su-ah to hug. What in the world was she to do without people around her?
Is this who she really was?
A loner.
She didn't like the word. Nor did she like the chilly air that came with it. Slowly she wiped her tears, and walked out of the classroom, her slow steps and lowered head were a clear sign of her losing her sanity.
Fortunately, Han Seojun noticed it well, when he came back to take his helmet he forgot. Something about the girl with those miserable hands seemed to intrigue him.
Her miserable hands and his hopelessly kind heart, a combination that would soon prove its fate.
_