Chapter V: A Moment's Solace
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As the final details became clear, Merus gathered the people together. Many were still suffering from the dreams, and with Jezran's absence, they were far worse for wear. The Governor spoke briefly to them with great passion and conviction.
Selene did not understand it.
It was far removed from a great speech of old. There was little in flowery language, and it seemed more depressing than uplifting, but it seemed to do the job. People's eyes were more lucid, and a strength returned to them that washed away the fatigue.
Not bad, but if I make it through this, I'll try and make it sound better for retelling, Selene thought, though she found her heart was not in it, as she and the rest of the people were gathered up into teams.
That's when the real work began.
Everyone in the Hollow, young and old, came together to complete the task asked of them. No one knew when the attack would come, only that they must work tirelessly to complete preparations. All three factions: the garrison on the walls, the Governor's soldiers, and the militia worked together tirelessly building barricades and ensuring all weapons and armour would be ready. Selene and the party were all separated to assist with different projects.
Selene, most used to the ship, helped the crew of the Admare alongside the dockmaster and his assistants, and the population of fishermen.
The work was mostly creating a barricade using the fishing vessels, the Admare and whatever lumber could be salvaged from around the area. They worked until a few hours before nightfall, with the plan to continue work after a few hours rest. The mists were considered as a possible hindrance, as none could say what might lurk within the deepest clouds that clung to alleyways away from algae. The leaders in the War Council, however, believed it to be worth the risk as they knew not how much time remained before Lendrig's forces struck.
With some time free, Selene decided to find the rest of the party, so they could share a meal before they all got back to work.
Selene could not recall where everyone else had been sent, so she wandered the streets lined with algae, searching for a sign of where they might be. As she was passing one particular corner, she heard familiar voices whispering amongst themselves.
"...can't believe we're doing this again, Illy," Ari's voice came from nearby.
Peaking around the corner, she could see Argent and Ari sitting on the ground against the wall a few feet away from her. She was about to call out, but she stopped herself. Selene could see the pair quite clearly, but the two had no awareness in this moment but of each other.
They leaned against the wall, relaxed. Their bodies close together, but they did not touch. They did not gaze into each other's eyes, but it was obvious to anyone they were in their own world.
Part of her knew she should leave them be, but the other part could not help but be drawn in. Her heart raced as she watched and listened to their conversation.
"I know," Argent said, after a moment, "We have shared so many moments like this. Yet each time our fear burns anew."
Ari nodded, "So many questions in these quiet hours, and none with answers we hope to hear. We could face millennia of these moments, but I doubt anything but apathy would deafen these thoughts."
"But we have survived before, so we can survive again," Argent stated.
Ari closed her eyes and sighed, head leaning back against the wall, "I'm just so tired of surviving, Illy. We have fought so long and yet we are not any closer to an end."
Illy? That's a weird nickname... Selene thought, considering possibilities, Or does that mean something in Elvish?
"Perhaps...but such is our lot," Argent said, turning to observe Ari's serene features, "We each have a purpose we cannot deny."
She said nothing, but simply nodded. The moment felt rehearsed, as if this was not the first time these two had this conversation, but they also knew it might be their last.
Argent hesitated for a moment, as if resolving himself for the next step in their dance of words. Selene was enraptured in the moment, despite herself. It felt as if she were watching a moment from a great story told round the campfire unfold before her very eyes. She knew these people were real, but all the same, she could do nothing but breathe the atmosphere and listen intently as Argent began to speak once more.
"Ari...should the worst happen...I have naught but one regret," Argent said softer than Selene had ever heard before. His hand closed the short distance between them. Delicately, his fingers covered Ari's slender hand, "That I was not able to give you the family you deserve. All the rest, every moment with you, I will cherish into eternity."
Ari followed suit, her hand adjusting so that their fingers were now intertwined. Her head moved ever so slightly, touching his shoulder as she said softly, "I feel the same. Out of all the tragedy I suffered, you have been the one shining beacon in a world of dark. There is not a moment I regret spending with you. Now, I only hope that we may live or die together, because I cannot bear the loss of you."
"Nor I, you," Argent said, leaning his head toward hers so they barely touched.
Guilt formed knots at the pit of Selene's stomach as her cheeks burned to the point she feared they might light on fire. It was only then she realized the gravity of this moment, and that it was not a thing to observe like a child watching a story unfold before her. As quietly as possible, she pulled away from this scene.
Argent, Ari...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your private moment. She thought to herself as she silently retreated down the path from whence she came. I'll find Hamish or Jezran, instead.
A few minutes of further searching revealed Hamish's location, but she was not the one to find him.
"Selene, my friend. Is good to see you," Hamish's voice came from above her.
Looking for the source, she saw the Half-Orc monk comfortably seated on the roof of a nearby building. The algae was hung a few inches from his perch, causing him to glow with an eerie light that exaggerated his fiercer features.
She grinned, and waved up to him before making the simple climb up the wall to find a seat beside him.
Turning to face him, Selene noticed Hamish did not have his usual smile. At first glance, one might think he was scowling, but a deeper look beneath the mangled scars revealed a serene calm.
"How are you doing, my friend?" Hamish asked simply, "I know a lot has happened last few days."
"That's an understatement," Selene said, giving a half hearted chuckle, "I don't know. It's...there's a lot to take in."
Hamish nodded, but his refrain from speaking begged her to continue.
"I just...I'm overwhelmed," She said, rising to her feet on the edge of the roof. A slight wind through the air blew back her cloak, sending a chill down her spine as she began pacing, "I thought I knew the risks, I knew that there would be danger but this..."
She threw her hands up in the air, gesturing at the Hollow surrounding them, "This...fighting for our lives against a monster that crawls into your head and reads your thoughts like an open book, not to mention his nightmare hordes of monsters that may begin bearing down on us at any moment."
The torrent of energy and fire in her words faded, she sat back down with her arms tightly wrapped around knees pulled close to her chest, "I just...I'm trapped—we're trapped. And the only way out is through a big meat grinder."
Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked away, finally admitting the core of her fears, "So, to answer your question, I feel like I—I don't want to die, Hamish."
Silence fell between the two for a moment as Hamish chewed on her words.
Minutes passed without a word, but then Hamish suddenly began speaking, "Long time ago...name was not Hamish. I was Carrig, son of Ernan. My family was...broken."
"Wha—" Selene was about to ask before Hamish cut her off.
"I promised to tell you first, yes?" Hamish explained, "Back on ship, once said we would tell each other pasts. Considering circumstances...now is good time, yes?"
Selene's eyes flashed in recognition as she recalled that night's conversation. Quietly, she nodded.
Hamish smiled softly, "Good. Now then...father died before my birth. He was a sailor, so did not know full story. Only know he died in big storm that hit his ship in port in distant land."
As he spoke, there was a hint of something to his smile that marked it different to Selene, but she could not quite place the difference. He continued, "All my life, that is all I heard. 'Your father a great man.' 'Was strongest I ever knew.' So, since young lad, wanted to grow strong like father. As I grew, I also became strong. Strength made me proud. Wanted to prove I was strongest of all."
His eyes darkened, as he looked off into the horizon. A sorrow tinged his words when next he spoke, "Eventually, lost sight of father, or mother for that matter. Wanted to be strongest. Fell in... with wrong people, because they told me how strong I was. Convinced me that strength meant I did whatever I wanted, so became bandit with them. Hurt many people back then...just to prove I was strong."
Hamish looked down, as his eyes shone.
His was the face of remorse, of a great weight and burden carried over many years. It was the only time Selene ever felt pity for Hamish.
Once more, he continued, "One day, we attack caravan with no guards. We approach this group, and old man approaches us. He asks us why we attack and begs we leave them be. Group laughs at plea. Did not understand he asked for mercy for our sake. We were beaten soundly, but none killed. Group ran, but I could not. I had to prove I was strongest. Kept fighting long after group disappeared past horizon. Old man forced to beat me near to death. Passed out from wounds, expecting not to wake. But woke in old man's company. He took me back to city and cared for wounds. Asked me for my name, told me his was Brother Callum. I did not understand him. Callum had such great strength, but did not act on it. We spoke long time over many days of recovery. He explained he was Brackva, and asked me to join his order. I, a fool at time, sought only his strength, so I agreed."
A wistful smile touched his lips at the memory, "Callum brought me to monastery, where I was taught everything but strength. Angered, I was planning to leave, when Callum approached me, begging I stay. Refused, but he stopped me when he asked me if father was sailor named Ernan. Did not understand, until he told me one of his Brothers, named Desmond, knew of this man. Asked if I would speak with him before I gave up. Decided it was worth learning more about father and his strength before I decide to leave, so agreed. Desmond was older man, an elder in monastery. Told me he knew I was Ernan's son by my size. Told me he travelled on his ship for time and came to know him, including how he died."
Tears flowed from his eyes, as he continued, "Told me that, while in port town, great storm from over seas comes fast upon city. Nobody had time to escape. Many trapped as flood waters destroyed their home. Those free ran fast, hoping to escape storm further inland. But not my father. He went back into flooded street a dozen times over, he broke down roofs and pulled people from homes. He carried an entire family on his back. Eventually, my father drowned saving a child who was nearly swept out into sea. It was then I realized just how far I had lost my way."
He paused for a moment, drying his eyes before continuing,
"I spent years in study, and took up the name Hamish. After a time, I knew I needed to repent. I needed to make up for the pain I caused. Starting with my home, I found my mother. I had not seen her in years. Did not know how I would feel, did not know how she would feel."
"What did she say?" Selene asked, quietly.
"At first, seeing me was difficult. She had heard stories of my time as bandit, then when heard nothing more, must have thought I was dead. Relief, that her son was not dead, anger, for all the pain I caused, guilt, that she had not done enough to keep me on right path. Seeing those emotions, I was overcome. As grown man, I fell down in tears before her and begged her forgiveness. I told her how sorry I was that I left her alone in my youth, and for all the pain and worry I must have caused. As I spoke, her expression softened. By end, she embraced me. She held me close for first time since I was little boy. I spent next decade of life in home country doing all I could to repair the damage I caused. I found homes of men I killed, returned what little gold I had to those I stole from or offered whatever services I could provide. Was not easy time. Suffered many days under scorn and hatred and some refused my help entirely. I do not blame them, as I did many terrible things, but for those that did accept my help, by helping ease their hatred and pain, I learned much. Could never replace those lost or reverse that which was done, but grew much as I work with them."
Hamish paused, tears starting anew as a warm smile touched his face, "Seeing their pain fade and healing begin, I knew this path is what I must do. Eventually, spoke with Callum once more, told him my thoughts. He smiled, told me I was ready for pilgrimage, like he had done all those years earlier when he found me. You see, in my order, we must all go out as Brackva so that the Great Spirit can use us for greater good. We know not what we will do, only that we must be open and ready to serve. Once we have done all we can, we will be called home, where our stories are shared to inspire next generation."
At this point he stopped and turned to face her for the first time since he began, "That is my story. What is your's, Selene, why do you travel here, of all places?"
Her mouth dried up at the question. She stammered for a moment, "Well...I—you see..."
Finally she sighed, placing her head between her legs, so you could only see her hat, adorned by her horns and a midnight blue feather. Her mind struggled to find the right words, to speak on things she never shared with anyone. Inevitably, she just started where it was easiest to begin.
The truth.
"My...my name isn't really Selene," Rieta whimpered, "I'm...my name is Rieta. Rieta Andolin...I grew up in Izan'larai, with my mom and dad, but...they died a long time ago in a fire. I was so young, only eight years old. I thought without them, I would die. And I probably wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for Arveene, another orphan on the streets. She found me and taught me how to survive. She was my best friend and I loved her like the sister I never had."
Tears began falling down her cheeks, staining her pants as she buried her face in them.
Her words were muffled, but she continued, "Then...she was taken from me too...on a horrible night I barely remember. I only remember the blood, the screams...and the only answer I have for losing her is this stupid dagger that led me here."
Looking up, she turned to her companion beside her. His eyes were filled with pity as she continued, "Hamish, I'm all alone at the edge of the world following something I don't fully understand. And now...now I might die here. No one will miss me...and nobody will remember me...or my family...or Arveene and I...I—"
Rieta's words were cut off as great arms the size of tree trunks wrapped around her as Hamish pulled her into an embrace.
Hamish cradled her in his arms, he said nothing, but he did not let go, even as her sobs faded. She felt a strange peace in that moment that she had not felt since she was but a young girl. These hands, warm and strong, comforted her like her own father's embrace.
Been so long since I felt this way. Since I felt like I had...family.
The peace she found in that embrace revealed an inner well of exhaustion Rieta had never noticed. As if something in her denied her complete rest until she found this peace again. Now that it was finally found, the well drew her inwards, until she fell into a deep sleep.