You know when you are so bored that you subconsciously go through very harsh memories as if you must make yourself feel something other than boredom? That was the case for Zayn at the moment. He was in a studio, which was getting too warm for Zayn to handle. He sat there waiting for his producer to tell him he was done for today. He was working on his new album that was supposed to come out for Christmas. But there was so much left to do that he wasn't sure it would be ready for next week.
After about 10 minutes of staring at the walls and waiting, he decided to piss himself off a bit.
Just for the hell of it.
And he had nothing better to do.
So.
First, he checked Twitter, but he just ghosted around like always. Making sure he wouldn't accidentally fave something. But he got bored with all the racist things people always said about him. He was used to it at this point. The next best thing was going through his gallery.
He knew it was not a very good idea to go back through all his memories when it was obvious he was gonna go rigid. He was angry at his life and whoever made him live it like this. The pictures showed him what a double life he was living. On the one hand, he was the rich celebrity who could've done whatever he wanted with whomever he desired. On the other hand, he was tied down by a teacher who didn't know how to have fun.
The teacher who was there with him through every step of his life, someone Zayn almost certainly knew better than anyone.
But did Harry know him the way Zayn wanted to? The way Zayn needed to be recognized?
Zayn hovered his finger over the folder of pictures of Harry and himself. Even though every ounce of his being was screaming to just delete the whole folder and be done with this relationship, he just couldn't do it. He put his elbows on his thighs and rested his forehead on his palms with a heavy sigh. Yep, it wasn't a good idea. Why it had to be this hard? His heart filled with anxiety as he thought about confronting Harry. So he just closed the app and went to his contacts to find a good fuck for the night.
He called the agency that provides him with pro hookers and asked them for his regular. That guy never disappoints.
After he was done with the call his mood instantly lifted.
"Wipe that smirk off your face, will ya?" it was Niall's voice who just came to the studio to talk with the producers and take Zayn home.
"What's gotten your panties in a twist?" Zayn laughed at Niall's annoyed face.
"Your existence," Niall said with a raised eyebrow which successfully removed the smirk and replaced it with a frown.
"That was not funny," Zayn mumbled as he followed Niall to the car.
"Maybe 'cause I wasn't joking?" Niall tried to keep the poker face on.
"Knock it off." Zayn huffed as he sat in the backseat of the car and decided to ignore Niall's being for the rest of the ride.
"So, when will you help me with Christmas shopping?" It was Niall who broke the deadly silence.
Even though Niall was not a fan of Zayn's choices in other fields, he absolutely adored his gift ideas.
"Not tonight. I have plans," Zayn mumbled. His head resting on the cold window. Watching the world surrounding him. The families walk around, shopping, holding hands, and laughing. Like genuine happiness. Something he hasn't felt in a long while.
Niall was almost sure that was envy in Zayn's eyes.
"Plans. My ass." Niall chuckled bitterly.
"It does include ass, just not your ass."
"Good. I'm glad. I don't want to get infected with whatever you have." To piss Zayn off even more, he gagged.
Zayn would've argued that he has been tested and he's clean. But he preferred to save his energy for later.
They arrived at Zayn's place and saw a guy waiting at the gates.
"Wouldn't it be easier to just fuck Harry?" Niall chuckled, shaking his head cause the guy looked like the spitting image of Harry. From this far away, he couldn't exactly see the guy's eye color, but he could've sworn that they were green too.
"Well, he's not here. Is he?" Zayn spat and slammed the door shut. He gestured with his head for the guy to follow him inside. He was strictly ordered to dress professionally to make sure even if anyone caught a picture of them, Zayn could just get away with it being a business meeting.
His name was Troy. Yep. Troy. Zayn was mad at that name. Like, with a face and body and technique like that, he needed a name like 'Henry' or something.
The second that Zayn closed the front door, he was pinned to it with Troy breathing right on his neck.
"Harry! Damn it!" Zayn moaned in pain and pleasure as Harry pinned him to the wall. "This is your way of NOT making too much noise?!" Zayn whispered as he made room for Harry's lips on his neck.
Harry chuckled, "I told you if you want your first time to be magical, we should go to my place." To Harry's defense, his family was on a business trip, so they could've made as much noise as they wanted to there.
"And I told you I feel more comfortable on my own bed," Zayn argued back, pulling Harry down for another kiss.
Harry didn't want to embarrass Zayn in front of his family, so instead of pushing Zayn to the wall and making out like he wanted to, he picked Zayn up and laid him on his bed while making sure their lips won't part from each other for too long.
Harry locked Zayn's hands above his head as he could feel Zayn didn't know what to do with them, which drew a quiet moan out of the boy.
"You sound so good, baby," Harry whispered over Zayn's lips. Eyes fixed on pair of hazel eyes, which were somehow darker but sparkling with something that was not innocent.
Zayn wanted to thank Harry for the compliment, but Harry didn't give him much time to breathe. They were kissing again, and Zayn lost all his willpower to be quiet when Harry's tongue touched his.
Harry knew how sensitive Zayn was about neck kisses, so he trailed his lips from Zayn's lips to his chin, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over Zayn's neck. All while he pushed him down and kept him in place, Zayn was trying desperately to get Harry to touch him.
Harry pulled away to get rid of some pieces of clothing when Zayn spoke up, "Do you have a condom?"
Harry rolled his eyes with a smirk. Of course, he does. "Yes." He said as he pulled Zayn's shirt off him.
"And lube?" Zayn watched Harry getting naked.
"Yes." Harry smiled, "Look, I know you are nervous, but I need you to trust me."
"Just go slow, okay?"
Harry ran his fingers through Zayn's hair and kissed his forehead, "I'll be gentle, I promise. Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?"
Zayn was pulled back to reality when Troy, who had already worn his condom, gave him a peck on the forehead and said, "I'll be gentle." Almost always this kind of treatment turned Zayn on.
Not this time apparently.
"Do I look like a fragile 16-year-old boy to you?!" Zayn spat, pushing Troy so he couldn't feel Troy's breath on his skin.
Troy chuckled, "Rough it is then."
And boy, was he rough.
After they were done, Zayn was sure he would be sore for the next few days. He did get to orgasm, but he didn't feel satisfied or at ease. The way you want to feel after good sex.
If anything, he was even more frustrated.
Troy knew Zayn wouldn't want him to stay over, so he made himself scarce after he gained his breath. And his money. Of course.
Whatever Niall told him in the car was at the back of his head. He knew Harry was probably not the answer – the cure – to however he felt at the moment. But there was no harm in trying.
So he picked up his phone and shoot a text for Niall.
"I'll help you with gift shopping if you arrange a week off to London for Christmas."
"The sex wasn't that good, huh?" Niall answered a minute later.
"Will you do it or not?"
"Your frustration is showwwinnnggg, but yeah, sure. Pack your bags."
For a second, Zayn thought about telling Harry that he would be there, but there was a big chance that he would change his mind about going, and he knew Harry would be happy to see him anyway.
*********
hey lovelies.
hope you enjoyed this one. i'm really trying to write when i can :))) but i'm always late sadly.
fingers crossed i'll finish this before i die 😂😂😂
thanks for reading!
love you all!