Just rewatched 'The horse whisperer' and Scarlett is so pretty, like howw
nat x daughter
age: 15
tw: depression, talk of suicide, eating struggles
word count: 1,9k
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Natasha's POV:
After I've just received a call from Wanda, telling me to come home because something's up with y/n, I packed my bags and am on my way to get the next plane home. I hate being away for that long- especially after y/n's mental health got this bad.
Over the last years I noticed a rapid change in her behaviour. She wouldn't leave her bed all day and in case I wouldn't help her, she wouldn't eat.
It got really really bad at some point so I dragged her to a therapist- the irony, I know, I've never went to one myself even though I know I should- but I couldn't loose her, she's my world, my everything. I got Fury to let me take some time off and stayed with y/n. Gladly we got her through this episode and after a couple months Nick wanted me back in the field.
So here we are- I haven't seen my daughter for nearly two month now and too say I miss her is an understatement. But now after Wanda's call I'm even more concerned. Thousand of questions running through my head as I'm rushing to the airport. How is she doing? Is she stuck in such an episode again? How can I help her? But most prominent is this one Why didn't she call me? Why was it Wands? I told her to call me. Why didn't she call!?
I feel hot, salty liquid running down my cheeks. Oh you can't be serious right now. I quickly dry my eyes with the end of my sleeve as I practically run to my gate.
—
"Welcome back, Miss Romanoff" FRIDAY greets me as the elevator bings and the doors open. I don't answer- I rush out and without saying hello to anyone I make my way to the stairs. "Where is she?" I yell, only to be met with the baffled faces of my co-workers and family "Where is she?" I repeat "In her room" Wanda says entering the room. I send her a small smile and go upstairs.
I knock on the door of my daughters room only to be meet with silence so I knock again "Leave me alone, I don't wanna talk" she groans but I still enter her room.
The blinds are almost completely closed and only a few isolated rays of sunshine reach inside. Her room is an absolute mess, not a plate here and there, no, the whole floor is covered with clothes and other stuff, everywhere are plates whose food mostly isn't even touched, a bunch of 'monster energy' cans are scattered around the room and everywhere is unwrapped gum paper. Oh y/n. Oh my love.
I take a deep breath of the bad air in her room and approach her bed- I bet she didn't open the windows in days.
Y/n's POV:
Much to my dislike I still hear the door open and someone enter. I turn away from the door, not wanting to talk to someone. I just want my mama.
I feel my bed dip down but much to my surprise they don't talk. A silence falls over the room.
After a couple moments the person clears their throat "You're not even gonna tell me hello?" they ask. Wait- I know that voice. "Mama" I exclaim and fall in her arms. "Hello you too, my love" she chuckles and wraps her arms around my body. "I missed you so much" I cry and cling onto her shirt "Trust me, I did more" she says.
She holds me a couple moments be fore asking "How have you been?" and sitting me up so she can look at me. "I'm fine" I tell her with a forced smile- of course she notices "Okay, again, how have you been?" harshly gulping I reply "I'm fine, like I told you".
"Don't lie to me y/n" she warns. Not longer being able to withstand her gaze I give in "I don't know, mom" I mumble "Why didn't you call me, детка (baby)?" she asks, two fingers lifting up my chin to meet her gaze again "You were on mission" I says, my voice breaking. "Oh y/n, you should've called me, I could've helped you already" she whispers "You're way more important to me than any mission could ever be".
"I'm sorry" I say, tearing up again. "No, don't be sorry, ever. I'm here now, Wanda called me, I'm gonna help you. You don't need and get to do this alone" she muttered, her voice full of worry.
I shuffle back in her arms and calm myself with the sound of her heartbeat.
Natasha's POV:
"Why can't I be normal?" she whispers and breaks the silence in the room
"Oh my love, you don't need to be normal, there is no normal. 'Normal' is a term that absolutely shouldn't be used when it comes to people's behaviours and feelings, y/n." I say "Everyone struggles, some more and some less, everyone shows it differently and that is completely okay. It doesn't define you, y/n. I love you no matter what"
She sniffles and wipes her tears with my shirt.
We fall into a comfortable silence again and I draw calming patterns on her back. That has always calmed her, even after some enormous tantrums as a toddler. "I can't do this anymore" she mumbles with a high pitched voice. That is something you never want to hear from the mouth of your child.
I take a deep breath and suppress the tears that are threatening to fall. "What do you mean, моя любовь (my love)?" I ask. I'm met with silence, I guess she didn't plan on saying that.
"Talk to me" I encourage softly
"You know, every time I think it gets better I fall back in this ugly pitch black hole. It's draining. I have no energy left to fight it. I just wanna let go" she cries
It feels like a knife is rammed into my chest, no, worse, my heart being ripped out. My little baby wants to die. This world hurt her so bad that she can't do it anymore. Tears that I so desperately tried to push down are now falling free. "I'm so sorry y/n" I whisper and press thousand of kisses on her head.
"But I can't let you do that. I can't loose you. As selfish this may sound right now but I love you so much, everyone here loves you a lot and I'm gonna do everything in my willpower to help you get past this. I know it may seem hopeless at the moment, but I promise you it'll get better. I will be with you every step on the way and you can fully rely on me, y/n"
"I'm scared, Мама" she whimpers "I know, but I'm here now, I'm gonna help you, you can give all your pain to me" "But that isn't fair to you" "Y/n, listen carefully. I'm your Мама, I'm an adult, even if it's too much for me I can get myself help. But you're just 15 years old, you need someone to rely on, okay?" "We both know you wouldn't get yourself help" she whispers "Y/n please" I beg. I mean sure she has a point but I need her to be safe. I can't loose her.
"Okay" she mumbles "I'm gonna try". Oh thank god. "Thank you" I say and give her another kiss "I'm gonna get in touch with your therapist again, okay?" she nods softly "We're all gonna help you. You're gonna get through this"
We just stay like this for good twenty minutes. Her curled up in my lap while I whisper sweet nothings in her ear trying to calm her down.
—
"I'm tired" she murmurs as her cries quieten down.
"How about you take a shower first and then we can cuddle and you can sleep?" I ask hoping she would try to get out of bed for at least a little while. "But I'm so tired" she whispers "I know, but it's gonna make you feel better I promise, моя любовь" she hums and as she starts to wiggle around in my grip a small smile creeps up my face "There you go, I know you can do it" I encourage her softly.
As she closes the bathroom door behind her I start on cleaning up her room a bit. I open the blinds and widows to let in some much needed air and change the bed sheets. Afterwards I put the clothes in the laundry basket and the trash into the bin.
I hear that the shower is still running so I decide to go and get some food- I know Wanda cooked her favourite today.
"How is she?" Wanda asks as I meet her in the kitchen "Not good" I reply honestly and she sighs "But it'll be okay, I'm not gonna let her go" "Natasha" Wanda sighs as she hears my high pitched voice, a clear sign to her that I'm fighting back tears.
I clear my throat and take a sip of water to ground myself before taking to plates of noodles with tomato sauce, "She'll be fine" I say and head back to her room.
As I enter she is already back under the covers but has tears in her eyes.
"Hey what's wrong, my sweet girl?" I ask and place the plates down "You didn't have to do this" she mumbles "Oh seriously" I mock slightly "I would do it over and over again if you need me to" a soft smile lights up her face and my hearts literally melts at the sigh.
"Anyways, I brought us some food" I say and get in next to her "But I'm so tired" she whines and her smile drops "I don't care, y/n, shower is something you can skip as much as you want but I'm not gonna let you skip anymore meals, understood?" I say, more sternly this time and she gives me a nod.
"Great" I smile and give her a kiss on the forehead "Wanna watch some shameless while eating?" I ask directly reaching for the remote, not needing an actual answer. After putting on one of our favourite shows I place the food in front of us and take the first fork of noodles in my mouth.
After noticing y/n didn't move I glance down to her. I can see the exhaustion in her eyes, it looks like she would burst out crying by any further movement.
"Come here, big girl" I say and help her up so she can sit and snuggle into my side. "I'm gonna help you, yeah?" I ask taking her fork into my hand "I don't know why it's so hard" she mumbles, tears threatening to fall again "Hey, we've talked about this" I say and shut her up with pushing noodles in her mouth. She chuckles as she tries to lick her lips clean.
—
"There you go, all done" I say as I place the last fork of noodles in y/n's mouth.
"You see, the first day and you've already got so far, you took a shower on your own, ate a full meal, even if it was just for a short time you got out of bed and you talked to someone about your feelings" I smile and give her a kiss on the head "And this is how we're gonna make it, take it step by step and accept when there're gonna be bad days. It's gonna be a long way but I'm here with you, my love, here for every little step"
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I want someone to take care of me like that
anyways, do y'all ever are so exhausted that you could literally burst out crying at every little movement you have to make? or is it just me idk
eat and drink something please, you deserve it<3