Author's Note: This is a gift fic for @antihero-anakin on tumblr for the SW Sibling Appreciation Gift Exchange! :)
~ Rivana Rita
When Anakin and Ahsoka capture Letta, she reveals that she was not alone in the bombing. Their worst fears have been realized when the truth comes out that a Jedi was involved. After Ahsoka is arrested, the Jedi already know she is not responsible for the crimes, but Anakin is determined to protect his little sister anyway.
Prison cells are dark, cold, and downright miserable. Ahsoka has never liked those things, of course, but now, after years of fighting in a war, she's found there are some things she simply can't handle.
Dark reminds her of when she fought Grievous and was nearly beheaded by her own lightsaber, reminds her of the metal claw wrapped around her neck and crushing. It reminds her of the darkness of beneath the factory on Geonosis.
Closed reminds her of Geonosis, of being trapped and barely able to move, of the knowledge that any moment the debris could come undone and crush her beneath them. It reminds her of Cad Bane, locked in a prison cell, and the agony of electricity running through her body when he tortured her just to get Anakin's attention. It reminds her of when she was kidnapped and taken from Anakin and her home and hunted for sport, when the Jedi Council didn't even come looking for her. And most of all, it reminds her of Zygerria. Everything reminds her of Zygerria, and that's the one thing she wants to remember least.
And cold reminds her of Geonosis, too, when she was so close to freezing to death. So, in short, none of this makes this prison cell more like somewhere she'd want to be. She has trouble in her room at the Temple sometimes even, and that's a safe place.
It feels too dangerous to sleep, and she's too jittery, too on edge to focus.
Truth be told, it's not safe here, but if she doesn't try to sleep, she'll be losing her mind.
Someone strangled a prisoner with the Force. Here. Inside a supposedly secure prison. It should be impossible, but then again, it should also be impossible for a Jedi to willingly do something like this.
Anakin and Ahsoka had narrowed down a list of potential suspects, and Ahsoka had come here to show Letta the list. Letta had been working with a Jedi, partly mind-tricked into it – Ahsoka isn't surprised to hear that, considering everything that happened – and the Jedi had been hooded, so she was unable to get a good look at them, but they were able to narrow it down significantly.
The person was humanoid. And small, around Ahsoka's height. Except everyone knows it wasn't Ahsoka, because Letta said specifically that they had a round-shaped head, not one with two points.
Unless, next, Tarkin will be claiming Anakin and Ahsoka were lying. As if. She's not trying to brag, she swears, but her and her master are far more honest than the Jedi Council themselves. Or most Jedi, period, if she's being honest, Ahsoka thinks bitterly.
Every single day since Hardeen, she's woken up wondering if this war is right, if the battle she's fighting is real. It's maddening enough to question her own sanity.
Because in the end, how can she know what the Council telling her is real?
Ahsoka sighs and rolls over, trying to doze off.
That's when she hears it. Something. She doesn't know what, but it's... not supposed to be there.
And it's followed by an explosion.
Ahsoka jolts upright with a gasp, already on her feet.
The cell lights blink out entirely, along with the ray shields.
There's a flash and a beep before a red light fills the halls – emergency power.
What just happened?
This cannot be an accident, Ahsoka realizes with growing alarm. She's felt something uneasy since she came, and it's stronger now. The Dark Side, though it's well hidden. The Fallen Jedi is here, trying to cover up their crimes, and likely, they had to destroy the power to get out without being caught. That, or something worse is happening.
Either way, it's sure to cause a prison riot. Any other time, Ahsoka would be out there, helping put it down, but she probably shouldn't go out there right now, should she? Probably not. She's being held here for murder, but Ahsoka has always struggled with sitting still. It's... not easy to ignore when she can feel the chaos beyond. People are dying and...
This isn't happening because of her, but it still feels like it is.
Through the Force, she feels a nudge that is Anakin's presence – of course, he's already on his way here and has been the moment he sensed the commotion, but it'll take time, and there's a Dark Sider on the loose.
It's Ahsoka's duty to stop them.
There's not time to wait until her master finally arrives. It can take quite a while to make it through the Temple, and yes, this is nearby, but she suspects it'll take up to an hour for him to make it here, depending on what he's doing and the traffic.
Oh, actually, how many traffic violations he makes, that is.
Because it rather depends on whether or not he happens to feel like avoiding rule breaking at the moment. Which is rarely. But sometimes. He'll probably make an exception now, per usual. Anakin always does that for her. He does it for those he's close to, anyway, and that's the one thing about him that she's never been able to entirely understand.
No one else does it. It's not the Jedi way, but it's his way.
And he always makes it seem so right.
But now, people are dying. Ahsoka's a Jedi. She doesn't know what's going on, or if she can help, but most of all, she's just worried about how they'll take her being out of prison. She's never been in a situation like this before. It's not like being captured by the Separatists, and that has rarely happened to her. Usually only briefly. But this is the Republic. The Council already knows she's had no involvement. They know better than to suspect her... right?
The Separatists do things like this all the time to lure out Jedi. She's quite used to it. Maul did it with Master Obi-Wan, too. They're probably trying – intentionally – to lure her out. That doesn't mean she's going to ignore what's going on just to protect herself. Never. That's not the Jedi way. And Anakin would be so disappointed with her if she did that.
She would be disappointed with herself.
She can hear something happening nearby. What Letta was accused of was treasonous. People here – if they're guilty – are going to be dangerous people that can't be let loose.
She can only hope this won't go badly as she steps out into the hall, looking both ways. It's not hard to tell where the sounds are coming from. One way is just deeper into the prison, and the other leads out. It's coming from that way, and Ahsoka sprints down the hall, rounding the corner. It's easy for her desire to find the person who dared do this and put them down cloud her vision, but she needs to stay focused and present. She can almost hear Anakin's voice in the back of her mind, reminding her to be patient and find her center.
The clones don't know for certain she's on their side. They have no reason to, and even if they did, she'd still have to be careful. She is being accused of murder. It's not a good place to be. And while admittedly, a part of her would be very, very satisfied at killing Letta, Ahsoka knows it would be wrong. It was only a passing thought, and one she would never act on. Everyone who knows her knows how she has always been loyal to the Code. There were many times she could have chosen differently, and she may struggle with attachments, but she always stayed true.
It was hard – is hard – but Anakin has always been right beside her to help her, whether physically or in her mind.
It couldn't be any other way.
Except... when Ahsoka arrives, everything is already quiet, and there are a few of the Coruscanti Guard lying motionless on the floor. They're all dead.
And amidst it all are her comm and lightsabers.
What is happening here?
Ahsoka's eyes zero in on her comm. The light is on – it's connected.
She doesn't have a good feeling about this.
If her comm is connected to someone, it's obviously not someone she needs to let know that she's here.
Ahsoka calls her lightsabers to her with the Force and clips them to her belt – she'll need them, if she's pursuing the Dark Sider. Anakin's already on his way – she can sense it. She doesn't need to concern herself with contacting him. What she needs to do, is track this connection and follow it.
Where to find such a thing in a prison, Ahsoka has no idea. She doesn't even know where to start looking, but she better figure it out, and fast.
It takes much longer than Ahsoka would like to locate a console with which she can track the message. Everything is in chaos, and she had to sneak by without being seen. It's frustrating, because every passing moment, she knows the connection could be cut.
It's not hard to track the position. It's moving, but it's inside the facility. Who is doing this, and why? It doesn't make sense. It's like... they're trying to trap her. Which is fine. Her and her master have dealt with many such things before.
It takes a few moments of watching its path before Ahsoka takes off in pursuit. Ahsoka skids to a stop when she sees a clone's body lying on the floor, a lightsaber wound across his chest. He's already dead. She shouldn't be so horrified that the Sith is killing clones. Of course, they are, if they were willing to bomb the Temple.
But the wound is fresh, still healing, and the life is still fading into the Force, and Ahsoka has known death enough to track the feel of it, marking the walls as she runs. Death no longer fazes her as it once did. Now, it only angers her. All these deaths are on that Sith, and she has to find them. Or the Fallen Jedi. For all she knows, it could be the Sith Master himself.
She passes more clones before rounding another corner, skidding to a stop. The hall goes two ways, and she doesn't know which direction to go.
There's movement at the end of the hall, and Ahsoka instantly withdraws one of her lightsabers, though she hesitates to ignite it lest she alerts them.
Except... the person who steps around the corner isn't the Dark Sider she's chasing; it's Anakin.
"What are you doing here?!" she hisses, looking around again.
"I was nearby when the riot broke out. I came to help," he replies, a look of confusion and worry on his face, "What are you doing? I heard you were arrested and... What happened?"
"There's not time," she objects, "The Dark Sider killed Letta, and I'm chasing them. Or trying to. Just lost them."
Anakin looks up and down the hall, slowly breathing in and out. She knows him long enough to know that he's trying to stay calm. "Follow them," he replies, "I didn't see anyone in the other hall. There's only one other way they could've gone."
Ahsoka's eyes jump to the ceiling. Yes, there's a ventilation duct there.
...oh. Smart. Any other time, she'd have kept running. It reminds her of the battle of Geonosis when she and Barriss – no time to get distracted.
"I'll call Fox," Anakin tells her before she can take off, "So the clones don't mistake what you're doing."
Ahsoka nods. "Thanks." And she pulls the grate aside, jumping up. It'll be harder to follow up here, but she has to try. They're so close.
"I'll be right behind you," Anakin calls after her, and she hears him dialing the frequency into his comm.
***
What Anakin did with mouse droids, Ahsoka does not want to know. Honestly.
But somehow, there's an army of mouse droids helping her scan the vents now. They're small, quiet, and no one thinks twice about them. She certainly never paid attention to any when she was chasing the Dark Sider earlier.
But thanks to the droids, Ahsoka catches up when the Dark Sider is fighting off a group of clones.
Ahsoka's comm beeps before she can move forwards to engage. Instincts tell her to ignore it, but it's Anakin, so she answers anyway, backing off against a wall to avoid being seen. "Yes, Master?" she whispers, one hand over the comm to muffle the sound.
"Did you find them?"
"Yes. I have eyes on them."
"Follow them," Anakin orders, "Keep a distance. If we can find more information from them... I doubt this was the efforts of one person."
"On it," she responds, cutting the connection before she draws too much attention to herself.
Ahsoka is good enough at stealth missions – her and Anakin both – but she's antsy, itching to attack. She doesn't want to wait to bring this person to justice. But Anakin is right about trying to learn more about the situation. The more they know the better, especially if there are more people involved.
She follows them from a distance – she can't see clearly, especially because the figure is hooded, but they are small and very humanoid. They're a bit shorter than Ahsoka, which doesn't much narrow the suspect list, but it's something.
But by the Force, this Dark Sider is fast.
And very hard to keep track of. Come to think of it, they probably know Ahsoka is here.
Something is... wrong. Ahsoka feels a tinge of warning in the Force, one she's quite familiar with. She pauses, looking around, scanning her surroundings. The flashing light next to her is one she notices almost too late.
Ahsoka barely has time to register that she needs to run, and to start doing so, when the explosive goes off.
The blast doesn't hit her, but it throws her, hard and far.
The light blinds her, and the sound lances sharply through her head. Her montrals are ringing, and it makes her head hurt, though that could be just as much from how hard she hit the ground.
Her lekku, too.
A soft groan escapes her, and Ahsoka rolls over, trying to shake the stars from her vision. She pushes herself up on her arms, but everything is spinning, and she needs a few moments to breathe through the smoke everywhere.
"Ahsoka!"
Anakin's here now, at least.
"I'm okay," she croaks, coughing.
Anakin's hovering over her a moment later, helping her to her feet. His hands are warm, soothing, steadying. "The clones are after them," he assures, hands on her shoulders.
"Thank you," she replies, leaning forwards, resting against him. She's exhausted, and the world around her is spinning dangerously.
"It's okay," he replies, soothingly, "Just breathe."
She nods against his shoulder, trying to recollect herself. She's nearly been blown up many times. It's a thing that happens in war. It's ridiculous how rattled she is by it.
Anakin always smells of a strange cross of heat and motor oil. Considering how many hours he spends with his fighter, that's not surprising. Most people would probably find it annoying. (Obi-Wan certainly pretended to. Hard to say what was real and fake with him anymore though. She thought she knew him. She doesn't.) But to Ahsoka, it just means home.
"The clones will find them," Anakin assures, "But we should rejoin the search when we're ready."
Ahsoka pushes herself back, standing a bit shakily. "Yes. I am."
***
It... was Barriss. That doesn't make any sense. She can't believe her friend would do something like this to the Jedi, to everyone, and to her.
Ahsoka trusted her.
They were supposed to be friends. They were friends. Jedi aren't close, not like Ahsoka is with Anakin, but Ahsoka was still friends with Barriss. She still trusted her. They fought together. They entrusted each other with their lives.
How could her friend do this? How could she have Fallen, have embraced the Dark Side and gone this far? If something was wrong, why did she not talk to Ahsoka about it first?
It leaves her feeling empty.
Anakin, of course, comes to her quarters the moment it's over.
"They tracked her to the Works," Anakin tells Ahsoka, her bedroom door closing behind him, "We're searching for any accomplices now. And it looks like the place she was heading was used by the Sith. We're searching though the building to see if we can find any identity of the Sith."
Ahsoka just nods, unmoving. That's good, but she doesn't really care about anything right now. "I don't understand why she did this. She knows it's wrong. She..."
"Ahsoka," Anakin tells her softly, stepping forwards and crouching next to where she sits in the floor next to her bed. "She wasn't wrong that the Jedi have fallen from what they once were."
"What?" Ahsoka hisses, looking up. "How can you say that?"
"You told me you thought the same, once," he reminds, squeezing her shoulder. "That you didn't know how the Council could do some of what they are now."
He has a point. She's just not thinking clearly right now. "... right. But..."
"She felt alone," Anakin reminds, "Not that it justifies what she did. But the way we were raised encourages single action. I... know what families are like. I know how to... act with others. That's not something most Jedi understand."
Ahsoka wrinkles her nose. "I think you mean 'rely on'."
He blinks. "Right."
His strange manner of talking is another glaring reminds of that – Basic was not his first language. He doesn't understand all the terminology sometimes.
"But embracing the Dark Side? Why didn't she tell me about it?"
"It's not your fault, Ahsoka. You couldn't have known. We were all occupied with the war. Anyone could have noticed. You're not the only friend she had. And truly, I can see where she was coming from." He glances around, looking away, something akin to nervousness flickering in the Force. "I was tempted once myself."
Ahsoka straightens a bit, something almost like dread pooling inside her. "If you're talking about what the Son did to you on Mortis, don't." She'll never forget that. It's never something she wants to think about. The way the Dark Side was flowing around him, the way his eyes were burning like fire. Everything about Mortis was horrifying and wrong.
"No, I'm not." He pulls back, dropping his hands to his lap. He's nervous.
"What happened?" Ahsoka asks, because she has to know this. She almost doesn't want to, but if something was enough for Anakin to be tempted with the Dark Side – Anakin, who is always so good and Light – she would like to know what it was.
"I didn't even know until after it happened. After... I nearly did. There were many factors, most I suspect I don't even know, but... I had family, back on Tatooine. My mother." There's a deep-rooted pain in his voice know, one Ahsoka doubts she'll ever truly understand for as long as she lives.
"You told me about her."
"That she... I had visions of her long before it happened. I wanted to help her. I came too late. I was never like you, Ahsoka. I grew up surrounded by death. The first time I killed was the blockade on Naboo. I was nine. And... I was used to it."
"I know you were," she replies softly, wincing as she remembers the first times she had to herself. It was never easy to be responsible for death. It still isn't, but some things she doesn't think about anymore. Jedi are taught how to deal with guilt from childhood. Guilt is the most dangerous emotion, and while it's important, they can't let it cloud their vision. So, yes, she knows how to pass things off, how to not see them as her doing. Avoid it when possible, when it's not, it's what has to be done. It's not like the people she kills are worth living anyway. It's simple.
"I never wanted to. I never... could accept it was right. I just learned to stop thinking, and I..." He trails off, hands clenching.
"What?" she prompts, before he can change subjects. She's curious, okay? Even if it's a bad sort of curious.
"I was so desperate to please, I did it without question," Anakin continues, quieter. "I became so used to it. I did it over and over, but then... I never wanted to, until then, and I did it because... I did want to."
She should probably say something, but words freeze in her throat. Any other time, Ahsoka might be able to manage a response, She can't now.
"That was when I realized it was wrong," Anakin continues, "It was only after when I saw how far I was falling. That I was hurting people so I could stop feeling alone."
"You killed people," is all she manages to say.
"It was better for them, for everyone," Anakin replies, "In the end. After... afterwards, I found out that the nearby villages were destroyed with... other means."
Ahsoka turns away, scrubbing a hand over her face. This seems... impossible. "What changed?" she asks faintly.
"I knew why I did it. I knew it was meant to happen. I... let go. I stayed to the Code, Ahsoka. It was all I had."
"That's why you're so... strict," she realizes, "That never made sense to me." It didn't. Everyone acts like Anakin is disobedient and whatnot. Of the Council? Sometimes, yes. But never with the Code. Never. If she's being honest, she's never seen anyone like that, who's so stuck on helping people. Someone who's so calm and collected despite how obvious it is that he deeply cares for everyone. Anakin would do anything to protect his friends.
"When did it happen?" she inquires.
"Right before the war. I was... still off-balance on Geonosis."
Ahsoka winces. That's probably how he lost his arm. That's not something either of them talk about. "That wasn't long before we met."
"No, it wasn't."
"Did you tell anyone?" She can't blame him if he hasn't. She wouldn't want to tell anyone if she got close to the Dark Side, either. Mortis doesn't count. Ahsoka doesn't even remember what she did there, though the haunted look in her master's eyes was enough.
"No. Well, I... spoke to the Chancellor, but he wouldn't understand. That's why I know how Barriss could have Fallen to this."
That... makes sense. It does, even though it hurts to think about. Both for that her friend did this, and that Anakin had to... live through that. Really, she can't imagine it. Very little about her master has ever made sense to her, but somehow, it's starting to.
They just sit there in silence for a few minutes, Ahsoka throwing occasional glances in Anakin's direction. She doesn't really know what to say. Probably something. Maybe. She's exhausted enough that she's having a hard time processing. But really, Anakin has had moments in which he obviously struggled, so it shouldn't be that surprising. It's not as if this changes anything. It just means that he trusts her more than... most everyone he knows, which is... "Why did you tell me?"
"I thought it something you would like to know," he replies sheepishly, "I know how you feel about this."
"Thank you," she says, even if she's still not sure what to think about it. This makes him seem far more... real and breakable than Ahsoka has ever known him as. Logically, she knows he's as human as everyone, but this is different.
"If I told you earlier, maybe... you would have known how to help her, but I find it unlikely you would have noticed anything. No one else did. Some things... are meant to happen."
Maybe what she needs is to think about this and get some rest. She's exhausted after the past few days, completely worn, but she doesn't want to move. Maybe she'll just wake up in the morning, and everything will be back to normal. "I still can't believe any of this happened."
"Give yourself time to process, Ahsoka. We have time."
She leans closer, head dropping lightly onto his shoulder. It's comfortable, at least. Anakin wraps his arms around her, and she snuggles closer. Maybe that is all she needs, some time to think about what happened.
They sit there, together, for a few moments in complete silence. Idly, Anakin lifts his hand to the necklace she always wears. He gave it to her a while ago, but it was important to him in ways she can't understand. "Remember when I gave this to you?" There's something soft in his expression, but this is Anakin, and there normally is, especially when he's speaking to her.
"Of course. You said you'd explain it later, when I'm older." What that meant, Ahsoka had never been able to understand. She was old, maybe not that old, but still, certainly old and experienced enough to understand what he was talking about. It was clear he didn't feel comfortable explaining it to her, but she has always wondered.
"It was given to me by... a friend I knew on Tatooine," he continues, "Someone I was close to. She died there, but... Her father gave it to her. I... think she knew she would die there, somehow, and she wanted me to give it to someone I viewed the same way."
Her eyes widen a bit, the surprise coursing through her temporarily shaking away her exhaustion. She never really thought much about the nature of her relationship with her master, because it never mattered. Anakin was always Anakin to her, and he was always her master – they were always infinitely close, perhaps more so than she realized. "You... I'm not really your... child though?" It comes out sounding more like a question, because really, Ahsoka has only seen brothers around one another. She's never seen any other sort of familial relationship, and even the clones aren't always... normal in that manner. They were born and raised soldiers.
"Similar," he says, head resting lightly on her montrals. "I'd say it's more like a sister, but I raised you."
Her heart swells with the sheer, blinding adoration she feels towards him. They don't... talk about this, but for the first time in her life, she feels compelled to voice words she's never once said. "I love you, Skyguy."
She can't see his face, but the way his presence flares with a adoration in the Force is enough. "You too, Snips."
That's when she remembers something. "If we find the Sith, won't we be able to end the war? What will happen to us then? What will we do?"
"That is for the Council, Ahsoka," he answers, holding her close, "I really don't know. We will continue as we always have, trying to restore peace, no matter what it takes."
"Of course," she agrees, eyes drifting shut. They'll try. And they'll do it together.
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