The season approached quicker than I thought it would. Suddenly I was in Maranello, attending the Ferrari car launch, trying to explain to Seb why I didn't call him to tell him that I was moving in with Charles. Then I was in Barcelona for pre-season testing, two weekends in a row.
Esteban was back on the grid, and he had brought his girlfriend Elena who Charles and Pierre instructed to look after without getting into trouble. Esteban came back as Daniel's teammate. Daniel, who by the way also wanted to know why I didn't tell him and he had to find out through some paddock gossip. I'll tell you that Lewis was ordering me to send him an invite to come see the new place. And then there's Lando, who was upset that I didn't bring Arthur.
As soon as we had the time, Evie and I danced together. We prepared a new choreography for new competitions we signed up for. We had all kinds of different visions for our dances, we just had to puzzle them together. We danced when we were traveling together, at hotels, at gyms or wherever there was space. We didn't even care if there was a mirror.
Charles was away in Maranello between pre-season testing and the first race, so Evie stayed with me in the apartment, and together we held Pascale company in the evenings when she got home from work. We'd cook or watch movies, or sometimes we'd go out for dinner and maybe a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage we wanted.
As we got closer to the start of the season, I noticed just how serious Charles was getting about it. Of course he's always been serious about it, considering it's his dream. He's always wanted to become a world champion, but first he wanted to get to Ferrari. He's now at Ferrari, he's done a season and he knows he's capable of winning, so he's really putting in the extra work to really work for a championship. It took extra time and extra energy from him, and I knew it would. Sure, it would be nice to have as much time with him as possible, but if he can reach his dream then I'll support him and make the most of the time I have with him instead.
In Australia we started going to the gym together. We did different things, considering we have different workouts, but we went there together and we left together. That also meant we could shower together. I also followed along when he had interviews or was doing challenges. I liked being around him even though he was doing something else or talking to someone else, and he seemed to like having me there, because every now and then I'd catch him glancing past the camera at me and I would see him try to hold a smile back and focus on the interview. Or he'd send Andrea and Joris, his content creator, to sit in the backseat of the car so he could have me in the passenger seat. When we were out, he'd tell Joris to snap photos of me too, and Joris promised not to post them.
During the race weekend when we walked in, he wanted me close to him, holding his hand on the small of my back, or he'd grab my hand and pull me with him while I tried talking to Mia and he thought we were walking too slowly. He still tried to shield me from some cameras, knowing I'm still getting used to it being on us together. But then it was time for him to focus solely on the racing, so I wasn't going to distract him. I'd entertain myself until I found Evie or someone else there. I used the girls to try to get used to the cameras, I tried to not hide behind them, I tried to really accept that people were taking photos of us and I tried to not shy away if some fan with a paddock pass came up to talk to us.
Mia told me they get bored if I make it seem like I don't care that they don't like me. If I seem unbothered, they will realize that their opinions and mean comments won't change the fact that I am in a relationship with Charles. They get bored when they don't get a reaction, and therefore I should try to act as unbothered as possible. Hiding away from the press apparently doesn't scream unbothered.
I still hadn't posted a photo of Charles in the same way he had posted me. We had posted pictures with each other along with our parents since the photo he posted of me, but I knew that if I posted Charles then I'm basically planting a garden of hate comments, so I'm waiting a little. I might wait for his first podium of the season or something to make it a little smoother.
But he ended fourth in Australia, meaning there was no Instagram post from that. Well, not that would be smooth anyway. Joris had gotten really nice photos of Charles and I together, but I didn't want to drop a photo like that all of a sudden, even though people know one hundred percent that we're dating by now. Except for some of the people who are positive it's some stunt to make people like me better, or whatever their theories are.
But after Australia it was time for Evie and I to really focus on dancing. We had decided to start dancing together as a duo when the actual point-scoring season started. So we wanted to be prepared by entering a bunch of smaller contests. Meaning we were spending a lot of time at the dance studio letting our ideas out and working with them. We made choreography after choreography from scratch to really make it original and suited for us. Hour upon hour of working on it, and I could come back home and not feel mentally exhausted, because Evie is one to fill you with energy instead of drain you from it.
While the boys were racing in Bahrain and in China, Evie and I managed to attend three smaller competitions, two in France and one in Italy. We won the Italy contest and came second in the French competitions. But they were podiums and we used the opportunity to really see what parts we needed to work on if we wanted to win. Winning in street style, jazz and commercial jazz is slightly harder than Latin, meaning we have to work hard to get to the podiums and high scores.
Pascale stayed in the apartment some, and I would go stay a few nights at the house so she wouldn't be alone when Arthur wasn't home. Him and Lorenzo were preparing for the FRECA season and weren't home that much, but when they were I made sure to spend time with them too. The more time went on, I realized that I will see them less and less. Seeing Arthur isn't as obvious anymore and Charles and Arthur seeing each other is far less obvious than I've thought. I forget their schedules don't really correlate.
Evie and I still hadn't gotten a coach. We didn't have any sponsors. We didn't have a team, we were just the two of us. I hadn't realized it had made us look like maybe we're not as serious about this, but the truth was that I had gotten too comfortable for a team. I wanted to dance and love it, like I did with Evie. Giving everything until you can barely breath, get your feelings out through movements and performing a kind of art with your body, and then at the end when I could turn to Evie and see that she loved it just as much just made me happier than ever. I didn't want a team to ruin it with strict time tables and opinions I don't agree with.
After a competition I stay away from social media. Well, I normally stay away from social media, but even more so after a competition. I know people will share their opinions and critique no matter if they know anything about dancing or not. But Evie goes on to read it after every single competition, trying to find things we missed in the studio so that she can work on it in front of the mirror. I've told her to leave it alone but she just won't.
One day when we came into the smaller studio, Evie's demeanor was careful, almost careful. She was quiet, thoughtful, and she put her bag down and immediately came up to me as a kid asking their parents for permission to do something. She kept picking at her nails and I waited for her to start talking.
"C, I just looked through some comments last night," She started and before I had the chance to sigh and roll my eyes, because she knows I don't like that she does that, she kept going. "Some people think we look a bit... unorganized."
"Okay," I nodded, "We'll work on that for next time, I'll ask Felice to watch us again," I replied to ease her mind, but she sighed and looked like she wanted to continue. I sat down to put my dance shoes on, and she sat down next to me.
"Maybe we need a coach... or you know... just someone to help us and make us more organized overall," She said, and I kept quiet for a moment. Evie and I are a team and I can't make these decisions completely by myself. If she wants a coach and I don't then either one of us needs to convince the other or we need to reach a compromise.
"Can I think about this until tomorrow?" I asked her, needing time to really figure out whether or not I want a coach again. Maybe there are coaches that just check the dancing and don't really care what else we do, but I doubt that there are coaches like that on this level, they always want to control things from left to right.
"Of course," Evie replied, and then we went on with the practice.
Felice asked me to step in for her in a children's class one night, so I did. I taught them some simple children's dances and we stretched and played games. It was only an hour, but she had given me a key to the studio so that I could open and close for the class. She wouldn't need it back for another few days, so I stayed late in the little room that Evie and I usually dance in.
It's always been easier to think and sort through my thoughts when dancing. So that's exactly what I do. I put some music on and I start to practice on old choreo as well as creating some new ones for later.
First of all, the coach. I love being able to do what I want, go where I want, whenever I want. I enjoy the freedom I have right now. There is no one nagging in my ear and I'm not wasting anyone's time but mine. Evie is always with me, so it's not like I'm wasting hers, because we're always together. But am I just being lazy? Am I just doing this because I know that life isn't supposed to be like this. We need structure in life, and sooner or later it will hit us in the face.
Evie has been away from competing for quite a few years, a coach would benefit her to get her back into it. It would help her, but also us together. There would be someone whose job is to think about the things we don't think about. It will also help her get better, and we're already good.
We have that in common, Evie and I, that our brothers and boyfriends are the reason people know who we are. There is no denying that, everyone knows it. No matter if you like the attention or not, it brings a privilege that you need to be thankful for. We're paying with our privacy for the privileges we get, and it's insensitive to complain. We get privileges for something we didn't do. We didn't do anything to get here, we're just the little sisters of two people who fought their way up the ladder to be where they were. Although, sometimes it would just be nice to be recognized for something other than your brother or boyfriend. Sometimes, if they know you, you want it to be because they know you are your own person with your own achievements.
Now... dancing isn't really one of those sports where you get recognition. You need to be better, you need to be one of the best. You don't dance in the olympics, there is no world cup, no league that's on TV. Charles, Pierre, Max, Jules and Arthur will always be more known, unless Evie and I play it just right. I know for a fact that she went back to dancing because she wanted something for herself, she doesn't want to live off of Max for all her life and it's getting time to break away. We're not supposed to just be on the paddock all the time, we're not only here to post some brands you haven't heard of on our social media. We could do all of that, but it can't be all.
So, the answer was pretty much right there.
The day after I went on a mission to find a coach for us, someone who could really prepare us. I was reminded by the coach I had met twice, Anna or whatever her name was. Evie had kept her card when I tried to throw it away, but I didn't know if she still had it. She slept in the guest room, so I went in there and asked for it, which made her face light up as she took the card out of her purse and handed it to me.
I called Anna, and I asked her to meet me to talk things over. I had questions and I wanted to know if she was a good match for us. I still didn't want her to be too controlling or not be okay with the traveling that Evie and I need to do. We arranged a meeting in town and we sat down at a coffee shop.
"Did you change your mind?" was the first thing Anna asked me when we sat down. I shrugged lightly in response, because I don't know, maybe I just opened my eyes and realized I was being a bit lazy. "We're a bit close to the season, it would be tight, you know that right?"
"We've practiced, we're ready, we just need help with some details here and-"
"Wait, sorry," She stopped me, holding a hand up, "We?"
"Yes, me and my friend Evelina," I nodded, clarifying. But I saw how Anna looked down at her coffee as she stirred some sugar into the cup. She nodded slowly, but when she looked up, she looked apologetic.
"I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were going in solo," She said.
"Yes, but Evie and I are really prepared and-"
"I don't know enough about her style of dancing, I haven't watched her dance and I'm afraid it would be too rushed for me to coach you for this season," She started and I felt the disappointment settle in my stomach. Of course it would be too late to get a coach ready to coach us on such short notice before the season. They don't want to feel responsible if we're not ready for the season to start, even though they just started. "Look, I'll make some calls and I think I can find another coach for you to work with."
"Thank you," I said, trying not to seem too disappointed, but at least she offered to help. I put the cup to my lips and I took a sip of the tea I had ordered, not knowing what to say.
"I'm still open to coaching you solo, if you're interested," She said, bending her head down to seek my eyes. My first thought was that she's not giving up, but I guess that's the mentality you need to get what you want. But I still shook my head.
"We're too close to the season," I told her.
"I've studied your style for some time, I can work with that. It's not about how you work together with someone else then, it's about how I can make you shine by yourself. In some cases, that is easier," She told me and I studied her face for a moment. She seemed to be studying my face back, and for a split second I think I caught a glimpse of hope. Am I making a face that makes her believe I'm going to say yes?
"I'm not sure I have the time," I said, not sure I really believed it myself. I have four days, apart from the days I've said I'll practice with Evie. Tough, it narrows down to one day during race weeks. That day might be needed for traveling. I don't have the time.
"We can make time, Céline, if we really want to. I'm flexible with time, and I do really want to do this with you. I think you have a really good chance at this if you just want to," she said, leaning forward and I thought she was about to get on her knees and beg me at that point.
"It's a bit cocky to think I can make myself ready in a month," I chuckled, leaning back in my chair to create some distance between us. She leaned back as well, snickering to herself as she cocked her head to the side.
"You're allowed to be cocky if you're half as good as I think you are," She replied, and I felt the praise hit me like sunshine peeking through the clouds, but I didn't want to let it show so I looked down at my hands in my lap. "And you don't have to be the best in your first competition, you just have to be better than someone else," she continued, looking like she was getting somewhere.
"It would be unfair to Evie," I started, "I wouldn't be able to just focus on her even though I've told her I will. I wouldn't have as much time for our partnership... besides, I travel a lot and it's just-"
"Like I said... I am very flexible timewise," She cut me off from my ranting. "I am aware of your busy schedule, but there are all kinds of different ways for me to track your dancing from right here. Videos, video calls and so on."
I stopped, took a deep breath before I looked out the window. I saw people passing the window, mostly tourists, who took pictures of the pretty-looking buildings and out over the many boats on the water. She had made many good points, and I had used every excuse I could think of. I had one more thing to say that might make her stop asking me to let her coach me, but telling her I didn't want to would be too obvious of a lie. I've always wanted to make up enough points to be one of the finalists, and be able to dance against the best in the world. I would be fine by not winning against the best, but just competing against them would be enough. Anna's attitude was definitely the type to get me to that place, sooner or later. But am I in a place to do it?
"Listen, Céline..." She said, reaching over to grab one of my hands and she held it between hers. "Time is ticking, and you can always sign up and change your mind. You can try it, and if you don't like it you can just not continue. But don't let the opportunity go to waste."
"I need to think about it..." I replied, shaking my head as I pulled my hand out of hers. It wasn't a no, and that seemed to make her please her enough for the moment.
I got back to the apartment where Evie was watching a movie with Pierre on facetime. She was barely paying attention to him, and when I walked through the door she immediately sat up and paused the TV. She dropped her phone onto the couch and basically jumped to her legs before walking over to me, waiting for me to tell her how it went with Anna.
"She's going to make some calls for us," I said as I took my wind-jacket off and went over to put it back into my closet. Evie followed me and when I looked at her face, it had fallen into disappointment.
"She doesn't want to coach us?" She asked weakly. I sighed as I shook my head. I hated to disappoint her when she looked so excited when I walked through the door, and now I can see the heaviness in her chest. "We'll find someone else, she said she'd make calls," she shrugged, trying to act like she didn't care that much about Anna declining.
'"What were you and Pierre talking about?" I asked to change the subject and distract her.
"Oh, right," she said as she was reminded of the phone she just dropped onto the couch. She walked out and picked it up again, Pierre still on the screen. "Sorry, C came back from the meeting."
"How'd it go?" He asked, but Evie just shook her head.
I heard him talk to her, trying to cheer her up again. I heard some commotion on his end of the phone and while I was in the kitchen. I liked to just sit in there by the kitchen island, and I was looking through some recipe books that I had bought for some inspiration of what to make for dinner. Now that I have a whole new kitchen I really want to use it and get better at cooking.
When I had found something to cook and prepared to cook it for dinner, my phone started vibrating. It was an unknown number, so I was hesitant to answer, but I did. I put it to my ear and I replied with my name to let them know it was me speaking.
"Yes, hello, my name is Lawrence and I was told you were interested in a coach. I just spoke to Anna and she spoke very highly of you."
"Oh, right! Yes," I replied, moving everything from the stove before rushing into the living room where Evie was still on the couch. I jumped up on the couch and sat down next to her, motioning at the phone while Lawrence was talking about his previous duo's he had coached and their greatest achievements. Evie hung up on Pierre without another word.
"Anna told me it's you and a friend doing Jazz? Is that correct?" He asked.
"Yes, commercial jazz mostly," I replied, "and... I feel like I have to add that we need as much time flexibility as possible, considering we do a lot of traveling on the weekends where we do not compete. We would like to keep the coaching for the weekdays and we'll practice independently for the weekends," I said, to really get the big issue out of the way.
"Yes, I've been informed," he nodded, "I have young children, I don't see a problem having my weekends off," he said with a chuckle and my face lit up, making Evie look expectantly at me.
We continued by asking some additional questions back and forth for contract reasons, financial reasons and then finally we set up a time to meet to sign the contract. It was easy, because it seemed like such an obvious decision to make. It was so good, it fit us perfectly from the sounds of it. But we'd have to see during the official meeting.
The second Lawrence and I hung up, Evie and I threw our arms around each other. She laughed from the joy of having a coach wanting to work with us. She was so excited and all of her was lighting up the entire room. Evie is probably what Anna is looking for. She shines on her own, she has the attitude to win. As a matter of fact, she hates to not win and she will do anything to get there. If anyone should be going solo, it's her. She'd get far.
"Now we just need sponsors," Evie said, smiling. I wanted to tell her that it's easier said than done, but I didn't want to dull her smile so I kept smiling at her as I nodded. "We just have to put ourselves out there a bit and we'll get something eventually."
Put ourselves out there we really did. Evie had the perfect idea, and at first I was hesitant, but I realized that despite it being Formula 1 related, it was one hell of a way to get some attention to our dancing. Though... It was the wrong type of dance. But Evie had thought of that as well.
So, on the first Wednesday in May, we went to Barcelona where the next round of the season would take place. The week prior we had signed a contract with Lawrence and we had managed four practices with him already, and thank god we signed with him when we did, he had so many small little details that we wouldn't think of and regular dance teachers wouldn't notice.
The same night as he called me the first time, I couldn't sleep. I was turning in my bed trying to make a decision about Anna and what she had said. Somehow, I managed to convince myself to sign up, just doing it in the heat of the moment. I regretted it the morning after, but I left it and called Anna to set up a practice with her as well. I just wanted to try it, and sadly I liked it a little too much. Suddenly it became too hard to turn her down, because she was just amazing. She was way too good to keep turning down. We practiced once and she helped me, my form, giving me tips that changed my way of dancing almost immediately.
Evie had been happy when I told her, but I still felt guilty. I wanted to try to make her sign up for a solo herself, but when I carefully tried to bring it up she changed the subject. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I didn't know how to do it. She hasn't been dancing in ages, but I do know that she's always been good at lyrical dancing. She can make all the right faces, there's enough drama in it for and she really brings life to those choreographies.
But on Thursday, Evie and I got dressed in two of my old latin costumes and we went to an address of a dance studio in Barcelona we had gotten from Mclaren's team. We were taken into the studio, and we waited until Carlos and Lando walked in. Both of their faces dropped as they saw us, but then they started to laugh, looking between each other with some scared faces.
"What are you doing here?" Carlos asked us before he turned to the cameras following them inside. Lando couldn't stop laughing, and he walked up to me and picked on some white feathers on my shoulders, so I had to slap his hand away.
"We're going to teach you to dance," I said, looking at Lando with a smug smile on my face, because suddenly he looked horrified. "Since we're in Spain, and since Carlos is from here, we're teaching you Fandango."
"Seriously?" Lando said tiredly, turning to Carlos, "why do you have to be Spanish?"
Carlos scoffed but took his cap off and threw it to the side, running his hand through his hair before walking over to me, holding his hand out for me to take like a gentleman. I chuckled and took it and he walked into the room, completely ready to dance.
They set some cameras up around the studio while we got ready to show them the dance. I told them to be lucky they're not forced to wear the right clothing. We weren't wearing the right clothing for fandango, but it's the closest we had so it had to do.
We started by learning them the basics without having to focus on leading. When they finally, kind of, got the footwork in we showed them the correct hold. I was in charge of teaching Lando, who I learned is like a kid as he couldn't stop laughing when I showed him where he had to hold his hands. He seemed to laugh whenever he had to touch me, and when I showed him he had to stand closer to me he just cried of laughter before looking at me.
"I'm sorry," He said through his high-pitched laugh, "but Charles is going to see this and he's going to push me off the track."
"He is not," I protested, but Lando raised his eyebrows before laughing again.
"He is," He replied, "Or he's going to hit me with his car."
"Okay," I said, furrowing my brows as I shrugged, "So do you want to dance with Evie instead?" I asked, but his face fell into fear as he looked over at Evie dancing with Carlos.
"No way," he shook his head, "Charles might hit me with his car but Pierre is going to murder me in cold blood."
I chuckled and shook my head, "You are so dramatic."
We continued by teaching them to dance it as a duo. It went slow, they asked us to slow it down when we were taking it as very slow as we could. They stepped on our toes and it hurt. Carlos apologized over and over but Lando was laughing in my face when he stepped on my toes to make me hiss as I thought about the ice bath I'd have to dip my feet in when I got out of there.
When we had, very horribly, taught them how to dance, we wrapped up the video and we went back to the hotel. I told Charles all about it, including what Lando had said and he scoffed. He didn't laugh, but just scoffed as if he thought it was ridiculous. I gave him a quick look, trying to see if he was offended by it, and I saw him shake his head.
"Pourquoi pense-t-il que je le vois comme une menace?" Why does he think I see him as a threat? he asked and I just shrugged, furrowing my brows.
"C'était une blague," It was a joke, I pointed out. But Charles still didn't seem to think it was funny. He just sighed as he walked up to me where I was standing in front of the mirror doing my makeup so that we could go out to dinner with Arthur, who had found the time to go to the race.
"Je ne serai pas jaloux qu'il touche ton dos," I'm not going to be jealous of him touching your back, he said and I chuckled as I turned back to the mirror. He placed his hands on my hips and he let them travel higher, to the front of my body and then down again. "Parce qu'il ne peut pas te toucher ailleurs," Because he can't touch you anywhere else, he said before leaving kisses on my cheek, traveling down to my shoulder.
"C'est vrai, parce que tu n'es jamais jaloux," Right, because you're never jealous, I said with a hint of sarcasm in my tone. He used his hands to turn me around so I'm facing him. He keeps us chest to chest and he has a smirk on his face.
"Pas quand je sais que je t'ai eu pour moi, non," Not when I know I got you to myself, no, he shook his head before kissing me. He kissed me deeply, backing me until he had me pushed up against the mirror. His tongue found mine and I had to put my hands to his chest to push him off as I laughed at him trying his hardest to keep his lips on mine.
"Arrête, ou nous n'irons pas dîner," Stop, or we won't make it to dinner, I laughed as he finally backed off to finish choosing something to wear out of the things he put on the bed.
Friday, Charles went to the paddock for his two practice sessions, while I went to practice with Evie before we were going to our first interview together. She was set on getting us out there to attract sponsors that are actually affiliated with dance or sport, and not the brands that just want to sponsor us because they hope that might get a driver to work with them or something. So Evie had made a plan, and the first thing she set up was an interview for a podcast that talked about dance. They discussed different dances, told their own experiences and had storytimes of their performances and such. I had listened to their podcast on the plane a few times just to get in the mood.
On the way into central Barcelona where we'd meet up with the two girls, Evie and I discussed how much we were willing to share, if we were going to ask them to stay off certain topics or focus more on some things rather than others.
"Should I address Elliòtt at all?" I asked her as we walked down one of the crowded streets. I was dressed in a jean jacket over my t-shirt and I realized I didn't need the jacket because I was sweating in it.
"I think you should, let them know he was all crazy and shit, drag his name through the mud," She said and I laughed at her response, but it seems a little harsh. "Do I have to remind you that he exposed your relationship at the same time as he made it seem like you just left him hanging to go to races?" She asked when she saw the doubt on my face.
"We'll see if they even bring him up," I shrugged, "what about Charles, Pierre and Max? We'll ask them to not bring them up, right?" I asked.
"Why? I mean... sure, we want to make our own names and all that, but I mean... it can't hurt to just mention them a little now in the beginning. People will listen, hoping we'll mention them, when they hear us mention them it will spread, more people will listen and more people will find it, interested in the dancing or not. I think it will be good for both us and them," She said, shrugging her shoulders.
We walk onto a street I recognize. It's the one where I met a little girl while I was with Mateo about a year ago. I didn't point it out, but it reminded me of how it's been almost a year since Charles and I kissed for the first time in Alassio. I'm not sure of the date, but I know it was in Alassio, after the Spanish Grand Prix. I was also reminded of how guilty I felt about Mateo, honestly, I still do. I really tried to convince him that Charles wouldn't be upset and then it was a nightmare when he showed up. I just left without telling him goodbye.
We saw the two girls further up the street and they had already recognized us and were walking towards us. They shook our hands and together we went to their little office where they had set up microphones and put out headphones for us on the other side of the table. While they prepared the recording and all of that, they asked us if there was anything we wanted to keep out. She looked at me, which made me worried she had questions that might make me uncomfortable. But I slowly shook my head, thinking I might as well get everything on the table and stop trying so hard to hide everything. Maybe I can even get to say something about all the death threats and such, just to really make people see how messed up it is.
We started off with introducing ourselves and explaining what we were thinking of doing for the season. Without thinking I also added that I was going to try solo as well, not thinking that it will make it harder to drop out if I change my mind later. Right after that they brought up that I had danced last season, and of course Elliòtt came up.
"It came very suddenly, what was it that went wrong?" One of the girls asked, and I straightened my back as I tried to think of the best way to get into it.
"There wasn't really a personal relationship there. We were strictly professional, but due to that we didn't communicate enough and he didn't understand some things that I was going through and he didn't always communicate problems he had, but just got upset instead, and towards the end we just didn't get along and we just realized there was no point in continuing," I replied, choosing my words carefully, but then I just couldn't stop myself. "That, and he outed my relationship when I had asked him not to, which resulted in endless death threats."
"Right, I was going to ask about that..." the other girl replied as both of them looked concerned while Evie looked to be holding back a smile. I really tried not to drag his name, but I felt like making Evie proud with that one. "And that video of him chasing you down the street?"
"Just..." I shook my head, pursing my lips a little, "I don't know, I told him we weren't dancing together anymore and he didn't like that I guess."
"But is it really that you get death threats from dating these guys?" One of the girls asked, looking between Evie and I with shock on her face. Evie and I both nodded.
"Oh yes," She chuckled, "Just people making sure you know just how obsessed they are... jealous and stuff like that. Sometimes it's older men accusing us of distracting them and therefore we should die or something."
We continued by talking about how we got into dancing, some of our favorite memories in dancing and how we came to the decision to start competing together. We just went on to laugh and tell stories and answer questions and it turned out to be quite fun. I almost forgot we were recording the conversation, and just treated it like a normal conversation.
When we had finished we just made some posts for social media so that they could advertise the episode, and when we got out of there the sun was setting. Evie went to meet up with Pierre for dinner further into town, so I called Arthur to see if he had the time to pick me up, since I'm not sure Charles is finished at the paddock yet.
"Salut, avez-vous le temps de venir me chercher?" Hi, do you have time to pick me up? I asked when he picked up. I heard him ask someone to give him a moment before he replied to me.
"Je suis en ville, est-ce que Charles a le temps?" I'm in town, does Charles have time? he replied. I looked at the clock, and there is a chance he's actually out of there.
"Je peux vérifier," I can check, I said, but before I got to hang up I heard Arthur talk to me again, so I put the phone back to my ear.
"Où es-tu?" Where are you? he asked. I looked around for anything I could use to explain my location, but I didn't really know where I was, I was just looking around at different little shops.
"Franchement je ne sais pas trop," Honestly I don't really know, I replied. Arthur was quiet for a moment and I heard someone talk to him on the other side of the phone, I just couldn't hear what they were saying. But then Arthur spoke again.
"D'accord, je viens te chercher... allez au-" Okay, I'm coming to get you... go to- he cut himself off and I heard that other voice before he continued, "Plaça de Catalunya," he finished.
"Ouais... eh bien, où est-ce?" Yeah... Well, where is that? I asked and soon I heard him open the car door, seemingly getting into the car.
"Utiliser le GPS," Use GPS, he told me before hanging up.
So I did use the GPS and realized I was closer than I thought. I sat down on a bench and looked for Arthur's car. The sun was almost all the way down, and I saw cop car after cop car parked along the road, which made me a bit on edge. I made sure to look around me to be very aware of my surroundings just in case. It also started to get a little chilly, so I was pretty happy about bringing my jacket after all.
I saw Arthur's gray Ferrari roll up so I stood up so he'd see me. He pulled onto the side of the road, and that's when I saw the brunette boy in the passenger seat. He smiled, like always, and I must've looked stupid because for a moment I just stared at the car without moving, and I was pretty much contemplating just walking away and not getting into that car. But I realized I had to.
Mateo got out of the car, still smiling at me as I hesitantly walked up to him. He moved the seat so that I could get into the back of the car. He was still smiling as he looked right at me so I forced a smile back as I walked up to him. He held his hand out to help me into the car and I was hesitant to take it, but figured it would be rude not to.
"You always look terrified whenever you haven't seen me in a while," He laughed as he got back into the car. I didn't even know how to reply, I just looked at Arthur, who met my eyes through the rearview mirror.
"Tu aurais pu me dire," You could have told me, I said to him. I didn't care that Mateo probably knew it was about him.
"Tu attendrais juste Charles," You would just wait for Charles, he replied as he pulled back into the traffic. Mateo looked over at Arthur and then he glanced back at me before turning back to look out on the road.
"Oui, et qu'en est-il?" Yes, and what about it? I asked. Of course I wouldn't have gotten into a car with Mateo after what happened last year. It wasn't his fault, he did nothing wrong, but it reminds me of how unfair I was to him and it makes me feel ashamed. It's awkward.
"Il fait sombre et froid et tu es dans une ville que tu ne connais pas... qui sait quand il arriverait ici," It's dark and cold and you're in a city you don't know... who knows when he would get here, Arthur argues as he navigates out of the city.
"J'aurais pu prendre un taxi," I could have taken a taxi, I argued, raising my voice slightly. Arthur chose to not respond to that to end the conversation. I sat back and looked out of the window until Mateo turned around in his seat, cleared his throat before speaking.
"It's nice to see you again, Céline," he said, "I saw some of your dancing videos online last year," he added, probably trying to ease the tension in the car. I looked at him, took a deep breath and reminded myself that he's done nothing wrong and I can't be mad at him. He's a better person than me, acting so nice to me after last year.
"Well, I switched genres this year," I shrugged with a little smile, "but I got to teach Fandango yesterday," I added and his face lit up.
"Fandango? wow! My mom tried to teach me Fandango when I was a kid."
We continued talking, and somehow Mateo got Arthur back into the conversation. They told me they were just dropping me off before going back into town to have dinner and watch a football game. They didn't ask me if I wanted to join, which told me that Mateo definitely knows about Charles and I. I've been trying to convince Mateo that it's never been anything with Charles, and then days after the last time I saw Mateo last, I had my lips all over Charles. But it just made me more guilty, because he knows he just ended up in the middle of Charles and I without even meaning to be.
Arthur rolled up outside the hotel and Mateo got out of the car to let me out of the backseat. He held his hand out again and helped me out. I thanked Arthur for the ride, and then Mateo held a finger out to Arthur and closed the door to the car, leaving him and I alone outside the car.
I found myself fidgeting with the strap of my shoulder bag and avoiding his gaze, not really knowing what to do with myself. He didn't really seem to start either, because it was quiet for a little while and I was dying for him to say something. I quickly got tired of the silence.
"Mateo, I'm sorry for last year," I started, "Leaving you and all... and I want to apologize for putting you in the middle of everything."
"Don't worry about it, C," He said, smiling as he shook his head and put his hands in his pockets. I smiled back, but I didn't feel like I had said enough. "I knew there was something going on, maybe you weren't aware then, maybe he wasn't sure, I don't know. But I still made the decision to go even though I knew it would be complicated."
"Charles and I had some to talk about..." I said awkwardly. Mateo laughed out loud before looking back at me, nudging my shoulder.
"I bet you did," He said and I tried to hold a smile back as I looked down at my hands still fidgeting with the strap of my bag. "You look happy with him though, from what I've seen online..."
I nodded and chuckled a little, "I am even happier offline, I can promise you that."
"Good," He said with a bright smile on his face, "anyway... I just wanted to make sure there's nothing untold between us and that we can still be friends. The three of us could hang out when you're in Spain or something," he said.
I nodded and smiled, "Absolutely."
We said goodbye, he got into the car and they drove away to go back into town. I watched them drive away and when I turned, I saw Charles walking toward me with Joris and Andrea following behind him. He kept his eyes on me, and when he looked over to look after the car I realized he had seen me talk to Mateo. I wasn't supposed to feel guilty, but I did. I didn't want to seem guilty though, so I smiled and walked to meet him.
"Salut, comment était ta journée?" Hi, how was your day? I asked as I put a hand on his back so that I could kiss him, but he just gave me a quick kiss and kept walking, pulling me with him until we were closer to the door to the hotel.
"Puoi andare avanti, ci vediamo domani," You can go ahead, I'll see you tomorrow, he said to Joris and Andrea and they said goodnight before they went into the lobby and left us outside. I pulled my jean jacket closer around me and looked up at him with my brows furrowed because I couldn't understand why he would want to stay outside. "Que faisait Mateo ici?" What was Mateo doing here?
"Il est avec Arthur et ils m'ont ramené," He's with Arthur and they drove me back, I said with a light shrug. Charles' hand went to the hem of my jacket and he used it to pull me just a little closer.
"Tu aurais pu m'appeler," You could have called me, he murmured.
"Je ne savais pas si tu étais encore sorti du paddock," I didn't know if you were out of the paddock yet, I shook my head. He saw me talking to Mateo and I don't think it should be that big of a deal. If he doesn't believe me he can always ask Arthur. I'm pretty sure his own brother wouldn't lie to him. But I don't care why Charles cares? He just told me he doesn't get jealous.
"Tu ne savais pas parce que tu n'as pas appelé," You didn't know because you didn't call, he says, still keeping his voice down but there's more frustration in it now. Suddenly it became a lot more accusatory than before.
"Je l'ai appelé en premier parce que je pensais qu'il était libre..." I called him first because I thought he was free... I said, frustrated about having to explain why I didn't call Charles before Arthur for a ride. It has never mattered before, and I didn't even know that Mateo was going to be in the car. "Il ne voulait pas que je t'attende seul en ville car il commençait à faire noir," He didn't want me to wait for you alone in town because it was getting dark.
Charles sighed, but he put his hand on the small of my back and started to walk us both inside. We took the lift up to the room and he kept his eyes down on his shoes the whole time. He didn't say anything the whole way up to the room. When we got in, he kicked his shoes off and went right over to his side of the bed where he started taking his watch off along with some bracelets. Even though he didn't say anything, there was something that told me he was still upset.
"Êtes-vous en colère contre moi?" Are you upset with me? I asked, looking at him from the door. He looked up at me and silently shook his head, which just made me sigh because that's the most obvious lie ever. "Je parlais à Mateo parce que je devais m'excuser, Charles!" I was talking to Mateo because I had to apologize!
"Pour quelle raison?" For what? He asked, his voice now louder and harsher.
"Pour la façon dont il a été traité la dernière fois que je l'ai vu," For the way he was treated the last time I saw him, I replied, raising my eyebrows. I left out the part where I had to apologize because of the way Charles approached him. "Tu viens de dire que tu n'es pas jaloux!" You just told me you're not jealous!
"Pas de Lando!" Not of Lando! He argued, furrowing his brows, "C'est différent quand c'est quelqu'un que je sais que tu trouves attirant, quelqu'un qui t'intéressait avant!" It's different when it's someone I know you find attractive, someone you were interested in before!
I chuckled and took my shoes off before I walked further into the room. I placed myself in front of Charles and I looked at him like he just said the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Because first of all, I was talking to someone. I didn't even touch him. I didn't shake his hand, hug him, I just said goodbye and that was that.
"La seule raison pour laquelle je tenais à lui était parce que je pensais que je ne pouvais pas t'avoir!" The only reason I cared about him was because I thought I couldn't have you!
It was embarrassing to admit that I had used him like that. It had been embarrassing then when I had left the way I did, letting him experience that and then just leaving. But realizing that I had used him when I thought I couldn't have Charles just added onto the guilt. Though, it led me to where I am with Charles today, so it's not like I regret it either.
Charles looked down at me, now blushing a little. I couldn't tell if he was blushing because he felt happy about it, or because he suddenly felt embarrassed about reacting the way he did. He sighed and he looked down at the floor before setting his eyes on me.
"Tu as raison... je suis désolé," You're right... I'm sorry, he said as he put his hand on the back of my head so that he could pull me closer to kiss my forehead. I looked up at him and he met my gaze. "La jalousie refoulée d'il y a un an," The repressed jealousy of a year ago, he said with a chuckle and I scoffed as I took my jacket off.
"Eh bien, c'est toi qui vas me déshabiller ce soir, donc tu ne devrais vraiment pas t'inquiéter pour lui," Well, you're the one who's gonna undress me tonight, so you really shouldn't be worried about him.
//
1. no covid, we're completely ignoring covid here thanks.
2. this is such chaos but I just want to get her own career going yk it's about her
3. I'm completely out of drafts and it's stress me out a lot more than it probably should