Emira doesn't have a lot of things.
That was a ridiculous statement to the ears of anyone. Emira Blight? Now under guardianship of the empress? Not having many things? That was ridiculous.
Emira certainly thinks so. She doesn't even really think about it until she looks around her room and realizes how barren and... depressing it looks.
There's always been noise. As much as the Blight family prided itself in being sophisticated, dignified nobles in pursuit of serving their emperor, the household was awfully noisy. There were always people working. Or Amity's training, her mother's ranting, her father's tinkering (it took place in his silence) or her brother's mischief.
The castle was wider. The walls are thicker and distance longer. The silence and solitude Emira had always longed for did not taste as sweet. Despite the wider influx of people, Emira felt more alone than ever.
She doesn't like how awfully cold her room is either. Or how big it is with absolutely no things to fill that sort of space.
It also allows for her thoughts to talk. So much so that they cause her skin to crawl and her bones to tear. Anyone who knew Emira well enough knew that Emira's thoughts were not something that needed to be dwelled on.
She supposes that explains why she's lying in her...mother's? Bedroom floor, curled on a ridiculously soft rug.
Inhaling deeply, she lets the fumes comfort her cheeks. Closing her eyes to silence her thoughts. Her hands lay comfortably on the fluffy surface, soothing the aching of her fingers.
For the slightest moment, Emira almost wishes Lilith and Amity were there.
Like the rest of her thoughts, she builds it a soft grave. Laying little flowers atop so she doesn't think about it again.
There was no need to mourn the wicked, and her thoughts were a vile thing.
Huffing, Emira shoved her face further towards the ground. Hoping that maybe if she pressed hard enough, she'd bend the natural laws of physics. And that the wooly fabric would somehow devour her alive.
Well, it was the Boiling Isles. Anything could happen.
She feels a great deal of discomfort and pain rising to her cheeks. Leveling like currents, they tasted just as bitter. Probably from the salt of her crimes.
The discomfort grows at the sudden pressure that pressed to her hand-
A sheer scream makes her jump up.
Head shooting up, she scrambles away from the carpet. Only to catch Lilith trapped in terror above her.
Her hair was... different.
"TITAN, EMIRA," she scolded. "You frightened me! Why in Titan's grave are you just lying there?"
It was... red.
Her hair was really red. And... kinda huge. Unusually fluffy. Almost as if it grew twice its size, was that even possible? Emira was sure that wasn't possible.
Her attention wanders, scattering like beads of wine and mead. They stretch towards the twists of her hair, knotted like her stomach.
"Emira," her voice whispers this time.
It is enough to draw her attention back to her.
There's a gentleness when she calls her name, unlike the usual shrill use of it. A quick babble. Spit with venom like they were eager to rid of its sound.
Instead, Lilith strings each syllable together with twine and ribbon. Careful, like she's always known who she was. Like she had made her soul like she made her sister's.
The familiarity in her tone... she calls out her name like she's a mother.
A mother who knows her child. Whose known her all her life.
Her heart aches.
"Is there a reason you're laying on my carpet?" she asks, and it's sarcastic drip is more playful than it is mean.
It's tone reminds her so much of Amity, how her sharp edges have always been rounded. Her words, despite being daggers, have always been blunt. Always enough to bruise, but never enough to cut deep.
"...Sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry," Lilith brushed off gently, "I was just wondering why you were laying down there. You could always use the bed."
Lilith is terrifying.
Many would argue she looked less intimidating now. Solely for the reason her hair was a mess of curls and red now. If anything, Emira thinks it makes her look even scarier.
It's easy to discard an empress' feelings. It's easy to take her for granted. There is no trouble in forgetting her heart and her calloused hands. Her poise and refinement is mere afterthought. Her hair, dark as midnight, is dreamed away in slumber.
Empresses and princesses were loved like the sun. No one could ever really look them in the eye. They burned and blinded, and it seemed only their arrival and departure truly struck awe. No one grumbles at the sight of dusk nor its dawn. No one whispers and deems them incompetent.
But this is not Empress Lilith in front of her. This is not a monarch or ruler in a grand display.
It's just... Lilith. Her sister's mother. She looked like someone's daughter. A sister. Someone important. Someone who mattered.
It terrifies her.
Lilith gestured to her side, patting the side of her bed, "Why don't you join me, dear?"
"I... shouldn't," she replies shamefully.
"I think you should."
"I really shouldn't. I don't-"
"Emira, stop being such a wuss and join the rest of us."
Her head snaps to the left.
Behind the empress is the most insufferable witch alive (also known as her twin brother), and her little sister. All bundled up in their pajamas. The surprise in her eyes must have been apparent, because Edric starts laughing hysterically.
Emira frowned, "I am not a wuss."
"Sure you aren't, brave sister of mine. Why don't you show your braveness by sitting on the bed instead of on the floor like a peasant?"
A sharp glare shot his way. She's completely aware of the irony of being called a peasant, especially being that she is quite literally the empress' ward.
Almost begrudgingly, she sat next to them. Arms curved in and onto her lap. She leans down far deeper than necessary, bent forward more than what was proper.
Lilith followed her gesture.
"So, why were you lying on my floor?"
"No reason."
"So you just enjoy lying on the ground like a corpse?"
"So you just enjoy collecting history books like a Deadwardian grandma?".
Lilith gasps in offense, hand falling to her chest. But for the slightest second, someone laughs. A loud cackle followed by a string of pressed giggles. Edric holds onto the hem of his shirt, cackling to his heart's desire.
Soon, Amity joins his merry jeers. Doing her the grace of trying to hide her snort. Even Lilith stifled a giggle or two.
She just insulted the empress and she smiled at her.
"I don't think I appreciate your tone, young lady."
Again, there is no cruelty in her words.
Edric leaned to her side with a twinkling smile. Her brother gave her little time to react. "Em, you will not believe what is going on out there," he cackled. "Eda and Mama Noceda teamed up and stole the BATs. So Raine and Darius proceeded to join forces and take King and Luz. Now they're both in the middle of a very heated custody battle."
Lilith stared blankly before sighing. Almost like it was expected, especially with her sister's habit of corrupting dignified civilians into chaos. It seemed even the human mother was no exception to her plague.
"Any idea how it ended?" Lilith asked suddenly, her interest piqued.
Amity smiled, "They're all in a puddle on the floor laughing their hearts out. Luz looked relieved and happy. Darius on the other hand..."
"We both left after she started crying," Edric said casually.
"They were happy tears," the princess clarified, looking towards her sister. As if she was waiting for a response.
Too bad her voice was stuck in her throat.
A cold hand touches her head, threading through the strands of her hair. The eldest froze in place, gently squeezing a pillow between her hands.
"Your hair is a mess," Lilith reminds her.
"Sorry."
If she heard her, she didn't say anything. In spite of it, Lilith reaches for a comb hanging at the end of her night stand. Bringing its handle to her hair and running it down her head.
Her hands are gentle, and the sharpness of her nails cause shivers to ripple down her spine.
The next few moments pass in silence, their words wash up to shore like forgotten specks of sand. Collected in Lilith's tongue to form soft humming and singing that Amity clings to.
When did they become like this?
She can practically hear her smiling. If Emira had eyes on the back of her head, she'd most certainly see the empress with her brow raised high paired with a stupidly proud grin on her face.
It infuriates her. She isn't even sure why, but the gentleness makes her blood boil. Balling her hands into fists, she shakes in resentment. She's mocking her, she's sure. Lilith is dangling her affection like a prized jewel in front of her face and urging her to follow.
Her breathing sinks, shallow and hollow.
"I hope you don't mind, I was testing out an old hairstyle often associated with young girls in the Deadwardian ages. As per your jibe," she smirks. "I hope that's not too old lady of me."
She laughs, grins like she's trying to trick her into letting her guard down
She snaps.
"Why are you doing this?"
Her tone is harsher than she intends.
Her head spins back, watching the color drain out of her cheeks. Or maybe Lilith was just always pale? She isn't quite sure, Emira hadn't made a note of that.
All eyes are on her. They pierce through her and she feels so exposed. She felt like she'd been cut open. Like she was wearing her heart on her sleeve, pressing it against her cheek. In the sea of gold, silver and seafoam cut through her the most.
Her tongue felt like a deadweight in her mouth.
Her back hit the bed frame, the pillow still grasped violently between her hands. The young girl clung onto it like a shield, like it would be useful against the wrath of her words. She can feel them coming, The silent standoff eats at her bones.
"Em? You okay?"
"How can I be okay?!"
Her fingers bury into the plush surface. The expression on her face darkens, cheeks dabbed in crimson fury.
"You're all acting like we're just... fine! Like everything's okay. Like we haven't all been stuck here for the last month. Like half of us didn't nearly die! How can you just move on from stuff like this?"
She's so... angry.
Emira's been angry for quite some time now.
It's not good for her, she knows that. She'll always know that. But Emira didn't want to change. The anger felt good. It was better than unpacking all of the pain beneath the scales.
"Our whole lives were turned around. So much has happened and now... now we just have to move on again? Wasn't that the whole problem with us in the beginning? How can you all just... be okay?"
There is silence. A poisonous, deafening silence, that eats at her. Like carnivorous beasts, with all teeth and primal hunger. She sits patiently, waiting for them to say something.
Her eyes look up, sharp and wary. The feather-like pillow is still scrunched up in her heart, barricaded like a soft landing. Her eyes pry forward as she musters up as much defense as she can.
"Emira," Lilith's voice calls gently, almost pained.
Her hands are soft.
Lilith reaches for her, sliding her hands around her frame and bringing her close. She can smell the ink clinging onto the tips of her fingers. They're still fresh from the long night of declarations and protocols in need of signing. Emira doesn't mind the way it sticks onto the sleeves of her dress, it doesn't feel important now.
Her thumb rubs at her cheek, and suddenly she wants to cry.
"My dear," Lilith keens, with a pain she cannot even describe. "I'm so sorry."
There are stars bursting out of her chest.
For so long, she's had daggers stuck to her side. Stabbing into her lungs, aching with every breath, every moment of existence. Suddenly, there was no time to live. The opportunity to breathe became a luxury she couldn't afford.
Suddenly, there were only two choices. Take the blade out, and bleed to death. Or keep it there, and suffer in agony.
Emira has drawn out her suffering. Kept its sharp end clogged and trapped in her flesh. Pushing past the extent of her liberty, again and again she found the restraint of her own lungs suffocating.
Titan damn it, she just wants to breathe.
"I'm afraid I've neglected you for some time now. I'm sorry for not seeing that sooner."
Lilith keeps a hand on her hair, pressing her head close to her chest.
Emira pretends the hot tears scattering onto her dress aren't her own.
A fire burns in her chest, its flame creates fractures in her bones. A sweet crack eliminates her resolve one by one.
"Why am I so angry?"
Lingering torment embraces her words. This fury is her worst enemy, and her closest confidant. Like boiling rain and burning tears.
"Everyone acts like I'm not allowed to be angry. Like I'm just supposed to be this sweet, happy, playful healer all the time. They make me feel like it's my fault I have feelings."
She wreathes the words with certainty, like armor silhouetted with chainmail. This is her defense. This is her testimony, her truth. Her vindication.
"I hate that every time I look in the mirror, all I see is my mother. I hate that all I see is my spineless ass of a father every time I look into my own eyes."
Something seethes into her tongue, something wretched.
"And I'm even more mad at myself because I'm just like them."
She leans into Lilith's chest, who holds her tightly. It's nearly suffocating. They act like bounds preventing her from bursting and falling apart.
A snarl comes out beneath her teeth, "Even when I have something good, I manage to fuck it up. I ruin everything I'm around, just like they did. Katya and Amber knew Luz for like 5 fucking minutes and they were a better sister than I was in the last 16 years."
"Emira, that's not true-"
"THEN WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP LEAVING ME?"
Her screaming shakes the walls, and the tears burst again. They twinkle like the stars and scatter like meteors. She struggles against Lilith's hold, who keeps her sanctioned in her arms.
WHAT ABOUT ME? She wants to scream. WHY NOT ME? WHY WON'T ANYONE STAY?
Emira wonders about the stars often. Was there sound where the stars slept? Luz mentioned how earth's stars lived in a place devoid of sound. She wonders what happens to their cries, and if anyone ever heard their anguished singing.
Sliding her head to Lilith's lap, she hides there like it's a coffin.
A very comfortable, beautiful coffin. One to bury her cries, just like the stars.
Her head felt heavy, her tongue dries and her throat floods. Her own breath sticks to her cheeks the further she sinks into Lilith's lap. Her hands are still on her head and back, running down her sides like a gentle breeze.
Her voice is hushed, whimpering like a tall child.
"I don't even know who I am anymore."
"I do."
A hand much smaller than her own intertwines with her fingers.
Amity.
She gave her a hefty squeeze. Fucking Titan, were her hands always this tiny?
Amity's always been much smaller than her, which was weird (considering her genetics). It sometimes reminds her that they're both a lot younger than they pretend to be.
They've spent half their lives looking up at the stars, lost in its light. Stuck tracing its patterns and navigating its structures. The sky always looked so widely infinite from where she stood.
And yet now that she looks down, she finds the world is just wide enough.
Big enough for all of them to stand.
"You're my sister," she declares with the utmost grace. "You carry bandages everywhere you go and collect recipe cards. You scold us when we get hurt, but we never listen to you. You care a lot more than you show."
Edric joined in, "You're the smarter twin. You love cooking but hate to admit it. You think people who don't use spices are the worst kind of people."
"And," Lilith begins, "You're the eldest of my children, and too much like me for your own good. Your name is Emira, which means princess, and I've decided to take that as a sign that you were meant to be mine."
A sudden cold breeches into her lungs. Lilith releases her, but quickly holds her again. Her cheeks are held against soft fingers and the face that greets her is kind.
Lilith looks so beautiful with red hair and scattered eyes. Her sister's smile breaks her into elated sobs and her brother is everything. They are near, in reach, and close to her chest. There are no walls they've slaved to build with cement and boulders. There is nothing keeping them away.
There is no one pushing her away. No one is leaving her behind.
"You all suck," Emira managed through teary eyes.
Amity laughs. A pure unbothered sound she hasn't heard in a long, long time.
Before she knows it, the air in her lungs are gone. Her siblings wrap around her like griffins and squeeze her tight. Lilith isn't an exception either, she coils around her like firm oak and leans her head on top of hers.
"We'll figure this out, we always do. But until then, we're all here for you. You don't have to carry all of this by yourself. I'm here."
She's here.
Edric's here.
Amity's here.
Everyone was here. Her family was here.
No one was going to take them away. No one was going to push her away.
They were here.
The weight on her head is gone. The cuts on her arms don't burn anymore. She doesn't desperately grab onto silhouetted words and titles.
She's there. She's there with them.
Lilith kisses her forehead again, pressing her own to hers. "You can rest now, my dear," she promises.
She can rest now.
She can finally rest now.
This silence, this is what she's been craving. This is what she's been searching for all her life.
The silence that came with this safety, this is what she's been wishing for. All the breaths she's wasted blowing on birthday candles, it was hers now.
Titan, her bones ache.
Mother... What was a mother?
A mother was a romanticized figure. Just like empresses and princesses, they were easy to ignore. Fade them into the background and grind their words to fine dust. She was to be perfect.
But Lilith isn't. She fumbles. She's prideful, and a massive hypocrite. She works herself to the bone and argues with Kikimora over things of no value. She trips over her skirts more than she'll ever admit and cries when her blood velvet cakes are less than perfect. Everything's a competition, and she rambles on about history when she's excited. It absolutely infuriates her that she and Amity go on and on and on about whatever the hell the Hectatious Period is.
But Lilith is also kinder than she appears, and surprisingly mischievous. She's patient with children, but also despises them for their incompetence. She's a surprisingly wonderful baker and an ethereal singer. She's a pillar built of stone and cushioned by silk.
When Eda breaks, it's Lilith she runs off to. When Amity's struck by night terrors, she flees to Lilith. When Edric fails, he wanders to Lilith. It's always Lilith everyones running off to.
As for her, well, Lilith's always finding her whenever she needs it.
Emira doesn't need a mother. Mothers are mean and care more about the jewels hanging on her throat than her own flesh and blood. Mothers spend hours picking out dresses for parties than caring about the way the fabric clings onto their skin. They're mean, and cruel and demanding and Emira doesn't care for that sort of thing.
But a want isn't exactly a need. Emira might not need a mother, she never will. At least, that's what she hopes.
But Titan, does having someone like Lilith sounds tempting.
"Mom," her voice cries.
There is hesitance, a resistant clear as day. Her throat is dry despite her crying. Cringing at the sound, Emira pauses at the sound of her own voice.
Titan, that felt wrong.
"Mom, I'm tired."
Lilith was her mom.
Titan's fuck, the empress is her mom.
Emira had a mother now.
Just an hour ago, Emira didn't have much. She was still clinging and guarding what was left of her heart. Yet now, her... mother has given her just about everything. Laid the world at her feet, scattered the stars in her palm and poured the sea in a cup.
"I know, dear," she sighs sadly. "I know."
That would take some getting used to.
There is hesitance in her form. Her back still leans too forward and her head held back. But Emira knows with time, she will keep her head up. She will greet the sky with all its stars and for once, she'll remember to look down.
The world was wide.
It was honestly terrifying.
"I'm so tired," she sobbed. "Mom, I feel so tired."
"I know, dear. I know. You can rest now. I've got you."
The rest of the night swallows her whole. Wax dries at the nightstand and the curtains are still open. No one bothers to keep them shut, no one dares leave her side.
For the first time in ages, Emira sleeps. There is no waiting for footsteps, there is no anger, there is no screaming into pillows and no books thrown to her wall in jealous rage. The weight of her fire is not there when she wakes up in the morning.
Most important of all, when she wakes up, everyone is still there.
Amity's curled up against her, salvaging all the blankets in what she can only call greed. Edric was practically hanging off the bed, mouth agape and snoring. Lilith is still holding her hand, brows furrowed as if she were stuck in a dream.
All of the fire is gone.
Emira knows that the next time she opens her eyes, they will all be there.
She goes back to sleep knowing this.
—x—
"Hey," Amity shuffled, approaching Luz quietly.
The human jumped, falling back in shock. Amity watched as she plummeted onto the ground and hit her head. The force shook the ground beneath her, a yelp running down her lips.
Then, she gets stuck in her cape. Which wrapped around her like a tight hug.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
"Luz!"
"Amity!" her voice cracked, "What are you doing here?"
Luz spun to her side, bringing a hand to her chin as support. The pained smile on her face only made her cringe more, a slight discomfort present on her shoulders. How was she even still alive?
"Are you okay?"
"Me? I'm fine!" she said quickly, waving her hand rather violently. "Just peachy!"
She kicked her feet up, ignoring her aid and jumping up to her feet. A strained grin still plastered itself forcefully while she crossed her arms. An attempt to somewhat regain her dignity.
"Everything is- woah."
Amity is a very pretty girl, everyone knew that, but holy mother of Titan. She's probably staring. Scratch that, she's definitely staring.
"You look... beautiful."
The color midnight hangs down to her ankles, covered in fragmented stars. She's wearing a cloak much similar to her own that makes her elated. A part of her wants to point out and mention the fact that they were matching, but her words stay stuck to her tongue.
Her hair's grown, and while Amity's never liked it long, Luz thinks it suits her just fine.
Amity blushed, it's impossible to miss with the way her entire face glowed red. "Oh! This old thing?" she remarks nervously. "It's nothing. Darius put it together last minute."
Luz smiled, pressing down a chuckle. Amity's cheeks fade to an even deeper shade of scarlet, which she didn't even know was possible.
Amity's shoulders slumped, her palms grazing her neck. Luz catches the smallest hint of a smile on her face. A breathy laugh rings in her ears as she sees Amity's knees buckle down and fold.
She really was a princess.
"That's a complete lie," she says matter of factly. "I stressed about this outfit for the last 3 days. In fact, ever since I heard about this event, I don't think I've slept. This has helped me get over this whole summer way faster than any therapy."
In a cruel fate, they both laugh. Luz finds it nearly sad that a moment like this was hilarious to them. But the sweet sounds of their laughter cause her shoulders to fall with ease.
Looking down, Amity finally seems to have noticed Luz's own outfit. Her hand played with the ends of her cape, finally noticing they really were indeed matching.
"You don't look half bad yourself."
"Aw, thanks."
Silence befell, digging in like loose screws. Luz's foot taps and her hands fidget with impatience. She glances at her wrist, only to remember there was no watch there. Still, she faces her hand like it is the only thing willing to give her solace.
She doesn't dare look up, she doesn't think she can bear what would follow if she did.
She mumbles beneath her breath.
"I should get going. Mami's probably waiting, can't leave her alone too long. Well, see ya!"
Turning to walk away, Luz made way to the door. Door. Was that other door always there? Did this room have two doors? Why would a room have two doors- that didn't matter! Focus, Luz!
"Luz," her name sounded so sweet on her lips. "Wait! Please don't run away!"
How could she not stop at the sound of that?
Her shoes squeak and blunder clumsily with the rest of her feet. They dance to nothing at all and still, she manages to fall in the end. Again.
This time, she accepts Amity's hand when she offers. Her hands are cold. They're always cold. The shivers running down her spine are pleasant, and it fills her with shame.
Luz lets go quickly and makes no note of how reluctant she is to do so.
Amity frowns, "I just want to talk. About the Tunnel of Love thing."
Maybe if she's quiet enough, all of this would be a fragment of her imagination. If she holds her breath and tip toes quietly, all of the world could dissolve onto her tongue and taste like candy and flower petals. She's always had a wild imagination, it could very much be possible.
Cotton stuffs into her throat and her voice grinds against its surface.
"Yeah, that was crazy. Brothers, huh? You know what us humans say, boys will be boys. Even though that is a... terrible saying."
Luz ignores the way Amity's head tilts to the side. That was an inquiry for another time. Preferably when a knighting ceremony wasn't just at the end of the hall.
"But we can just forget it ever happened! Water under the bridge, all easy peasy lemon squeezy."
"I- what is this about bridges and lemons?"
"Human saying!"
The flowers coiling around the windows perfume the air, there is a horrendous amount of roses and lavender attacking her senses. Luz is convinced that's the reason her eyes are watering and her words blubber like a mess.
"Do you... want to forget?"
"What?"
Luz is dissolving sugar in warm tea. Her head spins with no sense of direction. Something buries into her skin, something warm. Her throat stings, half her heart trying it's best to rip away from its confined flesh and sprout into petals and seeds.
Amity clears her throat, "Do you want to pretend it never happened?"
Her words are much clearer now, and stern. Amity had a habit of being stern. Whether that was a case of nature or nurture, she would never quite find out.
"Do you?"
Luz's words, on the other hand, are not so clear. They're all cheesy and mushy. There is so much uncertainty it's almost embarrassing compared to Amity's clear cut poise. The thought is enough to make her want to shrink down, crawl under one of the million couches in this room and become merged into the stupidly soft carpet.
The princess shakes her head, "No. I don't."
Huh?
"Luz."
Oh- she's stepping closer now. Amity takes long strides, seemingly gliding on marble with the length of her skirt. Her shoes click in quick symphonies before reaching her and holding her hands.
Her hands are cold. Amity's hands are always cold, and they fit so nicely in her arms.
Was she...
Amity, would you like to go out with me? The words ring so clearly in her head. If her mouth would just cooperate, Luz could ask her now. Grace her with kind words and confessions.
Like Eda said, nothing was ever going to be perfect. But did it really have to be?
"Amity, I-"
"Do you want to go out with me!"
There is no grace in her words, her face is burning red. All of it. From the tip of her forehead to her chin, everything glows a deep shade of scarlet. She speaks so fast Luz almost didn't hear it. And dios mio, was she shaking? She's pretty sure Amity's shaking.
...Oh my titan.
Amity just asked her out.
Before her.
Luz can't help but grin. "No, I was so ready!" she whines sheepishly.It's a complete lie. Nothing could have possibly prepared Luz for this, but she didn't have to know that. "You totally just stole my moment there!"
Relief washes over the witch's features, transforming into a smile. Her palm pressed firmly against her lips, covering a giggle. The other was still held tightly in Luz's.
"Sorry, sorry. You can say it."
Fireworks and butterflies are dancing in her stomach, waving around ribbons and spelling her name. Amity, her best friend Amity, the prettiest girl she's ever seen, just asked her out. She doesn't bark insults or bursts out laughing afterward. If anything, she looks just as terrified as she is. Her eyes, oh fuck, her pretty eyes. They sing with sincerity so sweet.
"Amity, you're..." there's so much she wants to say. "A lot of things. Not just the whole princess stuff, which by the way, is super cool. But you're also just, wow. Everything I've imagined and so much better."
This was nothing like the Good Witch Azura. There were no fireworks, heartfelt confessions screamed out in the middle of the battlefield. This is nothing like in storybooks or even the tales she's written.
Sure, there is a princess. Yes, there is a knight and there are castles and there are evil kings and magic. But there are less flowery words, less tomes and love spells and damsels in distress or sights of whatever happily ever afters really were (Luz loves a happy ending, but she's not quite sure this was that).
It's just them. It's just Luz. Just boring old human Luz dressed in clothes she did not deserve.
Amity was a princess! She needed a knight, a fearless champion! Just because Luz dresses in their colors and wraps herself in chains doesn't mean she is one.
A frown cracks for just a second, "I just thought you deserved someone... magical. Someone who could take your breath away! I don't... really think I can do that."
Cold lips press onto her fingers. Looking up, Luz caught Amity kissing the back of her hand. Held between her fingers like a knight in shining armor (Luz is hyper aware of the irony). Smiling, Luz's heart goes soft. Her feet buckle from beneath her, striking her balance.
Like butterflies stuck and pinned to boards, Luz has been stared at many times like an oddity. Like she was something strange, something to be held at a distance.
Amity looks at her like she's known her all her life. Holds her hand like she's always been there. She looks at her like she's home. Familiar with the folded and jagged edges along her spine.
With those very same eyes, however, Amity also looks at her like she is the most stunning thing in the world. Like she's magic.
It nearly makes her sick.
"You are very magical to me, Luz Noceda," she confesses.
Amity kisses her cheek with cold lips. Luz's head faces her quickly, marveling at the sight. Her voice grows dim, only a soft gasp hanging in the air.
This isn't like the stories. This was nothing like the shows she's watched or the Good Witch Azura. But this is hers. This moment belongs to Luz, this is part of her story that she gets to tell everyone.
This is what makes it perfect.
This is what makes it magic.
Turning her head, Amity's face morphs into an embarrassed pout. Hand slinging around Luz's arm, she tugs her away. Trying to play off the moment as if nothing happened.
"Come on, let's go before everyone loses their head."
It was perfect.
"Yes," she says in the most awful posh accent she can muster. "How scandalous it would be for the princess to show up late to a knighting ceremony with a human towed at her side."
"Oh shut up."
Her heart is racing. So loud that it rings in her ears and fades to white noise. Luz is nearly afraid her heart may come spilling out of her mouth. The sound of it syncs with their walking, a beat per step. Almost like a waltz- she had to take Amity dancing later. Oh! That was a lovely date idea!
Terror strings along with her excitement, tailing it's tracks. Adrenaline and wind color her lungs, anchored by only Amity's gentle hold. She feels like her head's gone off somewhere else. Gone to the skies with the sun and moon and clouds.
Looking down, Luz finds Amity looking back at her. Like she's made of stars and sunlight. Amity holds her hand like she's always been there, like they've known each other all their lives.
They look at each other like they belong here.
"Luz?"
"Yeah?"
"Welcome home."
...Home.
"We're home," she whispers beneath her breath.
This was it.
All those years spent buried under words and notebook papers, online forums and fantasy worlds scattered along her wall and jammed between printer trays. Finally, Luz is home.
"We're home!" Luz grins. "Amity, we're home!"
Her arms move on her own accord, before she can even think. They slide to Amity's side and she lifts her to the air. Feet turning, she laughs in delight as she spins Amity in the air.
Home is not the human realm. Home is not filled with blue skies and cold waters. At home, the sky is purple. The waters boil and rain (except for the rare case where clouds from the Knee travel too far west. In that case rain is cold, oracles take it as a sign of new beginnings).
Home is her mom and Eda drinking wine under jade moons. Home is Raine singing music near fireplaces and Lilith scolding everyone from the kitchen (her power often meant nothing to those closest to her heart). Home is where monsters roamed in woods and magic dances on paper and fingertips.
This is home. Luz Noceda is finally home.
"You're home," Amity parroted back, almost like a promise.
Like she's been waiting for her to just come home, after all these years.
Her heart is too big for her chest, her feelings come spilling out her lips like scattering beads of pomegranate and pine.
She smiles, her teeth hurt from smiling so much. Her bones ache, and so do her arms and her lungs but they feel so wonderful she can't help but laugh and laugh until her stomach hurt.
Everything hurts and it's wonderful.
She's come home. To her mom, to Eda, to Willow and Gus and King. She's come home to Raine and magic and castles and knights.
She's made home in beautiful yellow eyes that remind her of summer days.
Luz rests her head against Amity's, and doesn't mind that tears are rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm home."
–x–
"Where are all the scouts? I told them they had to be there by 2! Does no one listen to orders anymore?"
Lilith is absolutely seething.
Half her guests are late. Late. The one time she willing hosts an event and half her guests are late.
It seemed it wasn't just guests that fell short to punctuality either. So far, all her children are missing, and so was Luz and all of the BATs. For Titan's sake, Kikimora had made it before them!
"Hoot, hoot! I gathered all the ice sculptures, Empress Lulu."
At least someone cared enough about proper etiquette.
"Thank you, Hootsifer. You're the only one I can depend on."
"I also shoved Eda and Raine in a closet! I made sure to find the smallest one, just like you asked. I even swallowed the key!" Hooty nodded in delight.
Lilith let a devious grin devour her lips, "Excellent, Hootsifer. I shall repay you after all this work is done."
As annoying and... unpleasant the creature had been in their first few introductions, Lilith found she actually liked the creature. He was genuine in a way that the castle lacked. For that very reason, Lilith is delighted to keep him around.
Drawing the curtain one last time, she found the banquet hall did thankfully begin to fill up with guests. She saw Willow guide her fathers and a trail of other family members (she did mention something about a flyer derby team, a sport Lilith never really cared for). Augustus followed closely behind her, charming Principal Bump in expressive conversation.
"I look better than you," a voice chimed from behind.
The holder of said voice was dressed in fine silks and velvet. He turned to show off his cloak to his twin sister, who looked unamused at his gloating.
"As if, don't forget who came first, dearest brother."
"Like you could ever pull this off."
"You're right, I'd never be caught dead in that."
Sometimes Lilith wondered whether her twins were truly Clawthornes after all.
Rolling her eyes in affection, she crossed them off the attendance list. In the corner of her eye, Hooty had extended himself from her back to the corridors. A series of familiar horrified screams indicated he was dragging Raine and their bards.
She smiled gleefully, he really was a helpful creature.
"You bitch," her sister huffed from behind her.
Finally, things seemed to be looking up.
"Ah, you've arrived. Thank you for making it 10 minutes late."
"That was entirely your fault!"
"Fault would indicate I had caused a problem. Seeing that our Head Witch is covered in scarlet lipstick marks, I think the proper words would be 'Thank you for helping'".
Her cheeks turned the same color as the ones cascading her lover's face, and Lilith let the smuggest grin plaster on her lips. Without more to say, she simply turned away from her sister and checked 5 more people off her list. Feeling satisfied as it neared completion.
Now all that was left was...
"WE'RE HERE. WE'RE NOT LATE. I DIDN'T MAKE ANYONE LATE."
Luz. Excellent.
Lilith smiled softly, "Thank you for escorting Luz, dearest."
Turning to Hooty, she patted his head in thanks, to which the bird cooed delightedly. Almost jealously, Amity stood closer to her mother and grabbed onto her hand. Glaring at the insufferable creature.
Lilith did both of them a service and stifled a laugh.
Her hand fell to her head, carefully running through her hair. Lilith made sure to avoid all the parts of her hair that were curled. Though, it didn't stop her from planting a gentle lingering peck onto the top of her hairline.
Her heart ached when she realized she didn't have to kneel to kiss her head anymore.
Lilith held her face in her hands, making sure to memorize every drop of her skin. When had she gotten so tall? It feels like just a couple days ago, she was cradled in her arms and bundled in blankets. Still cuddled up to her Otabin plush and painting nonsensical pictures.
She sighed, running her thumb against her cheek. How lucky of her to be blessed with such amber eyes.
"Lilith," Darius interrupted her thoughts. "They're ready."
Giving her daughter one last kiss, she released her and headed towards her friend. Darius held out his hand, which Lilith accepted with great gratitude.
After all these years, Lilith still felt her breath get caught in her throat at all the staring eyes. Her head hangs low in a bow, covering the jittering on her shoulders. Whispers of her hair and her eyes filled the room, chanting back to her like an echo. Once more, she was reduced to the nervous fidgety child she used to be.
She let go of Darius' hand, who retreated to the end of the stage, leaving her all alone. Comforting her nerves was only the familiarity in all their faces and the notion that they are loved by those dearest to her.
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She felt the cold breath enter her lungs and plant into the pit of her stomach. The crowds are smaller, she reminded herself. Everyone here is only those who matter.
She wasn't sure whether the thought was a comforting or terrifying one.
"Welcome everyone, to the first Knighting Ceremony of the Boiling Isles. Let us hope that this will be the first of many to come."
The crowds quieted down, all in hushed tones. All eyes flickered back to her, unmoving and focused. Still, her voice stayed unmoving and calm.
Her hand landed on her chest, "All of you here hold a place in the hearts of those who stand here, people who've done honorable, noble things. Things that deserve rewards."
The rest of her speech flowed easily. Her voice was tranquil and slow, running on its own. Her smile is soft and constant. A good empress was always restrained, every action of hers calculated for. The lonely bitterness is stifled immediately, the flames of fear blown out before they can devour her.
When her flattery finally ceased, she drowned out the sound of excited clapping and hollering. The lights blared into her eyes, restraining her field of vision.
But when she looked to the side, she found a trail of witches hidden behind velvet curtains. All dressed in jewels and satin. Some hold onto one another, either buzzing in excitement or frozen in fear.
Lilith remembered how she felt standing on the podium for the first time. Petrified, stuck to the floor in panic. She also remembers the fierce loneliness, and the isolating cold biting at her sides.
Behind her is her sister, blowing a raspberry when she assumes she's not looking, her beloved halting her further attempts, her human apprentice and mother holding each other, and her children whispering to their friends.
Her chest no longer strained. And more importantly, she was no longer alone.
The young empress is no more, she's wiser now. She is no longer trapped. She no longer holds onto note cards holding back her tears, and she never would again.
Not when actual people had her back this time.
Her hand extended forward, motioning the young boy towards her. Gus held his head high, confidence in his stance.
"Augustus Porter," she announced. "Who delivered the truth, and nothing but the truth. Who stayed honest and loyal to integrity to its highest regards. Today, I hold the honor of bestowing you a title that holds great pride and privilege for all that you have done."
He bowed dramatically, grin youthful and pure. Gloved hands pinned an ornate medal to his jacket. Puffing his chest, he accepted the applause with grace. Lilith heard his father's blubbering crying from a distance.
Next is Willow. Sweet, protective Willow. Emerging from moss and ponds like glorious lotus blooms. She bashfully waved to her friends and fathers, shuffling her feet and awkwardly sinking to her knees.
Lilith treated her with the utmost grace, just as she deserved.
"Willow Park, a child in my affection and a companion to us all. Who's grown to be a courageous witch with great strength and leadership. Who guided those around her and spoke words for those who couldn't."
Willow's face grew warm, almost shyly, she looked away.
"Today, I hold the honor of granting you a title which you deserve, a title as honorable as you are."
Lilith pinned the badge to her chest, and watched her bloom like the flowers she's always tended to. And wished only that she would continue to grow as resilient as the lumber of her name.
"Luz Noceda," she continued.
She strutted with sunny deviation. Before she reached her, from her pockets she slammed stacks of paper against each other. Beams of light erupted from her hands like a flutter of butterflies.
Ah, so she was Edalyn's kid. Just as theatrical as she was (but certainly less of a show off).
She had to learn about these marvelous glyphs sometime.
"A human, a stranger, but mostly, a friend. She, most of all, defended and aided us. She stood by her friends and family and took care of those I couldn't. She is brave and kind, both virtues that are hard to come by. It is with all my body and soul, that I grant you this title. As well as welcome you and your mother to the isles as your home, for all that you've done."
Eda's cheering was obnoxious and echoed through the walls. Swallowing the sound is a cluster of applause from the crowd. A scurry of noise unmatched to anything she'd ever witnessed.
The human child peered at the crowd, lost in awe at all those who cheered for her. Tears built up in her eyes, running down all the way to her smile. Her friends cradled her into a hug, wiping her cheeks. A sweet sound dances in her ears.
Lilith was in debt to her, most likely for the rest of her life. She loved her sister and was a friend to her daughter. With favors like that, Lilith doesn't think any sort of payment would ever suffice.
She'd just have to make dues with getting as close as possible. Starting with reminding her that she is loved, she is seen, and she is important.
"Emira Delavina Clawthorne."
She approached her carefully. While they've made improvements, Emira was still cautious of her. Something Lilith did her best not to take to heart. All her anxiousness seemed to stem from her initial caution rather than the crowds around her.
Even so, Lilith held out her hands. Waiting patiently for her to take them, her heart aches when she leans in. The tips of her fingers grazing her own. Lilith held them carefully, like she is the most fragile, most important thing.
"From this day forward, you are mine. The eldest of my children, and the eldest of my daughters. Today, I invite you to introduce yourself to the world once more as a princess. And most importantly, my pride."
Emira is too much like her for her own good.
She's angry, competitive (in a more silent whisper, Lilith was always rather loud about it), and caring. Sometimes they came out in forms of harsh scolding or fussing care. It broke her heart to see too much of herself in such a young girl.
She hopes that the stars will let her rest. She hopes she is willing to open her heart to her. And she wishes with all her being that she is aware of the pride that overcomes her to see her exist as she is.
A sharp breath that's not her own shivered past her. Emira blinks away her tears and stares up at her, trying to read Lilith's face.
Lilith tilted her chin to her side, directing her attention to those sitting in front of her. You are loved, she wants to whisper. Don't you see all these people? They're going to love you.
A rather stocky girl began waving excitedly at her, blowing her a kiss. Lilith wonders whether she's a partner of hers, her daughter's blushing face surely supported her theory.
She also wondered how much she could bet Edalyn on that.
"Edric Alexander Clawthorne," she called loudly, giving Emira's hand to Gus. Who rested her hand on her shoulder in support.
Her son, bless his heart, does not approach her with the same caution. If anything, he seemed to almost sprint to her (with as much grace as he was allowed). With little hesitation, he pulls himself into a hug. Digging into her chest is his cheek, smile wide and accepting.
Her heart melts. An empress does well to hide her feelings, especially in front of the public masses. Damn the boy for throwing away so much of her resolve. Such gifts still ran dry when he beamed at her like that.
"Today," her voice wavers. "I declare you to the world as my son, and my only son. I bestow to you all the responsibility and virtues that come with being a prince. And remind you that you are the source of my joy."
He bows to her.
Her heart ceases, its distant echo ringing in her ears.
Taking three steps back, he bows to her. The edge of his cloak in hand and another at his chest. He greets her with a smile. Warm, charming, graceful, mischievous, everything that he is. Accepting his role with his usual grace and poise.
He rose, whispering something for just the two of them.
"I'll do my best, mom."
She tells no one, because it's just for the two of them. As small and insignificant it may sound, she knows his promise is one he prefers to keep hidden. She joins him, head falling low into a bow. She salutes his patience, his kindness, and his eagerness. He salutes her for her resilience and her strength.
Neither care for their titles, Lilith's power means nothing to those closest to her heart anyway. When he passes her and joins his friends, she knows he doesn't deem her an empress nor himself a prince.
Instead he hails them mother and son. It's a song she hopes they'll sing again.
Finally, she turned to the last of her guests.
"Amity Circe Clawthorne."
She doesn't need an introduction. Unlike the rest of those who walked past the podium, this is not her first time.
Granted, she was much smaller then. Bundled in blankets and small enough to fit in her arms. Lilith remembers showing her off, grabbing her little hand to wave along with her. As annoyed as everyone had been, Lilith hadn't really cared about the rest. She had been far too infatuated with her darling girl.
It was no different now, some things never changed.
"Hi," Amity greets her quietly.
"Hello, my dearest."
Lilith laid the medallion above her heart. Her duty came from her, after all. And Amity inherited her heart most of all.
They are no strangers to anyone in the room. Everyone knows who she is. Everyone knows her heart.
"I reintroduce you to the world as princess, a title which I return to you. A reminder that while the sun always sets, it will always return for dawn. My precious child of sun."
The moon cannot shine without the sun. If anything, moonlight was but an extension of sunlight. Lilith Clawthorne did not hold the same luster she did without her sun. But she has more than the sun now. The Titan has gifted her stars (Luz says stars are similar to suns, so in a way, all her children are made of sunlight. Just like the color of their eyes). He's also gifted her the clouds, the boiling sea and its singing winds.
He has given her all of the world, and they fit lovely into her hands.
She holds Amity's face, and she glows. "Welcome home, my sunshine," she whispers to her.
Sunshine. That is who she is. To her mother, Amity is sunshine. The source of her mother's light, a reflection of her love.
Amity has been many people in her lifetime.
She's been a daughter to many mothers and fathers. She's been the source of much joy and some suffering. She was an enemy to many and a friend to three times that number. She's been the child of moon, the child of sun. She's been both the worst person to grace the land and the best thing to ever enter the walls of the palace.
Now, she is a princess, or supposedly. The sound still makes her tongue sour and skin writhe. She's still the child of moon and sister to the stars. She's the niece of a rebel leader and a criminal. She's the girlfriend to a human knight and a best friend to prodiges.
Her mother built her out of burning wedding veils and metal bars of a cage. Decorated her in sunflowers, moonlight, and powdered cinnamon. Amity Clawthorne has been a princess, a noble, a nobody, a social outcast and all of the things in between.
These things are not who she is. Amity's not quite sure what she is, actually. All of that seemed a little confusing for now.
It was time to find out, she supposed. She's already gotten this far.
Before she knows it, Amity's squished between her mother and her girlfriend (she has one of those now). Luz laughs awkwardly and reaches for her hand. The rest of her family behind her erupt into chaos as they run into each other in attempts to give congratulations and hugs. Her aunt ruffled Luz's hair in affection while Camila attempted to fix it almost immediately after. The rest pull at each other to fit into view.
While the cameras flash, immortalizing their union onto photo paper and polaroids, Amity breathes. She knows they'll wait for her, to understand who she is. One thing she knows for certain is that she is loved, and will love. Without hesitation and without doubt.
Maybe she is everything and anything all at once. Maybe she isn't anything at all. Amity isn't too worried about it all that much. More adventures would come (it'd be foolish to assume this was her last, this family always had a habit of attracting trouble), and she'd just have to learn then.
Amity Clawthorne was quite satisfied with what she was now.
Head heavy with crown, heart weighted in love.