My heart felt like it splattered in my body, my brain went blank. I went blank.
"No….” My voice trailed off, astonished.
The wind started to blow, and my face was getting cold due to the winds pressing against the tears on my face. My hair danced behind my back and into the air. Just as I sat on my knees and shock, I heard audible police sirens from a distance. The police, they were on their way.
“No!” I finally screamed, ducking my head in the cliff. “Kresten! Get out of there now! This had better not be another joke! You pull yourself out right now!!!!!" I screamed, punching the dirt with anger.
The sirens started to get closer. I ignored the fact that my legs were bleeding and scraped due to Kresten’s wait dragging me to the edge of the cliff from trying to pull him out.
“Kresten!” Tears streamed down my cheeks even more.
Just when I heard shouting and footsteps approach me, I noticed the cops and an ambulance truck, they probably suspected that someone would be hurt. But three are dead! They brush pass every vine and branch, and they got to me.
"Are you hurt in any way?” One of the cops asked, his gun positioned for attack.
“My friend! He fell down there! Somebody save him!” I begged, my throat sore due to my audible and painful screams.
“Calm down, miss. We need to get you to the hospital.” Another cop said, glancing at my legs.
I wiped my eyes, “No, I’m fine! Somebody, please…I’m begging you! He…he fell into the cliff and…” My voice trailed off as all of the cops gave me a sorry gaze. A sympathetic gaze. “No…” I whispered to myself.
One of the cops had begun to speak up again, “Your friend may not be-”
“NO!” I shouted, stroking my hair.
The cop sighed, “Someone, get her to the ambulance truck.”
I sat back down on the ground. “I’m not leaving anywhere until you go and get Kresten!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. Some of the cops covered their ears, wincing at me.
“We’ll do everything and anything to see if we can find…um, Kresten?” Another cop asked, unsure.
I nodded. “Kresten Summers! He fell down along with the guys who tried to kill me! He has green eyes, dark brown hair. Promise me you’ll find him! And you won’t quit looking until you do!” I demanded, my eyes working up another set of tears. The cop nodded, and he ordered for another cop to guide me to the ambulance truck.
*****
I sat on the bed in my room of the hospital. I’m not sure why I got a room, I mean; my legs aren’t even that bad. Are they? There were wrapped in this thick white tissue things, they were like, extra absorbing bandages. I sighed as looked up into the light, closing my eyes. I prayed for Kresten to not be dead, and that he just hurt himself when he fell. I don’t even know how deep the cliff was! If Elaine and James hadn’t gotten back out of it, then there’s a chance that Kresten may not….no. I refuse to think pessimistic! I believe in Kresten! I believe in him. My heart ached more when I replayed that part where he was slowly slipping out of my hands, and when he said that he would miss me. Just as I replayed it again in pain, I was unexpectedly interrupted by a nurse.
“Your mom is here, Heather.” She guided my mom inside, and that look on her face, it made me feel guilty for not being careful. “I’ll leave you two alone.” The nurse offered, walking out.
I sat in silence, chewing on my lip. My mom stared me dead in the eyes for a few seconds, and I could see that she was clenching on her purse strap tighter and tighter, like she was angry.
“What in the hell were you thinking?” She finally yelled, but not loud enough for anyone to come back in.
I breathed out an exasperated sign, wishing I could block out my ears for just a brief moment. I was in no mood to be yelled at; I have a lot of things floating around in my mind at once.
“Why didn’t you just say you were about to be raped and killed? Why did you let me drop you off there, knowing that you were in for a rude awakening?” She questioned in a calmer voice.
“Mom, they set me up. I didn’t do anything intentionally. I didn’t know.” I murmured out, hanging my head loose.
“Oh, so that rose and card that was left on our doorstep for you was just an invitation for you to be killed? I don’t believe that.” She spat out, curling eyebrows at me. I groaned, and then I put it to a halt.
“Wait,” I paused, “You knew about the card and rose?”
She nodded as a reply, sitting at my bedside. “It had a sticky note and it said it was for you, and then while you were out studying with your friends, I placed it on your bed. I…I thought it was from Brandon.” She assumed. I sighed again, ignoring the pain in my legs. “Honey,” She initiated softly, “What happened out there?”
A small tear fell from my eye, and I didn’t know how to answer her. I opened my mouth hesitantly, but words wouldn’t come out.
“You can tell me.” She reminded softly, clutching onto my hand.
“I…” My voice trailed off as my eyes began to produce more moisture, “These two guys that tried to hurt me were pushed by my guy friend, Kresten. And he…fell in too.” I lastly stated, ready to get emotional again.
My mom bit her lip, “Lola’s boyfriend?”
“Ex-boyfriend.” I mentioned, sniffing afterwards. More tears began to set themselves free, escaping out of my eyes.
“Oh, baby. No.” She murmured out, holding my head to her shoulder.
I began to cry, “He might not be alive. But I’m hoping he is.” My voice was breaking, and it was hard for me to speak or breathe for that matter. She pulled me away from her to look me in the eyes. “I’m so scared for him…mom.” I cried out, wiping my eyes.
She continued to give me a painful and sorrowful stare. “The police officers will do everything they can to find him, you hear me?” She reassured with a consoling voice.
I nodded as she continued to hold my face close to hers. I sniffed and offered a slight smile, and she smiled back, wiping the tears from my eye. Just as we were drowning in our own atmosphere together, the nurse walked back in.
“Heather, you can choose to go home if you want. Your legs aren’t as crucial as we thought they would be, but you have to be safe. We have to assign you a pair of crutches.” The nurse insisted, and another one stood by her side.
My mom looked up at them and approached them, “Does she have any broken bones?”
The nurse shook her head from side to side firmly, “We just figured that it would be painful to walk, with all of her weight being forced on them. The crutches could make it easier for her. She can still go to school tomorrow, but she has to take the crutches.”
I didn’t mind using the crutches for school; I didn’t want to have to make up exams.
“And what about her friend, Kresten? Are the cops still trying their hardest to find him?” My mom asked, pressing her hands on her mouth as if she were worried. I smiled lightly at this, I love that my mom was sharing my worried and sympathetic feelings for Kresten. I knew she wanted for him to be okay, although she never really favored him or his other friends, including Lola. S
peaking of Lola, how will she respond to this? I bit my lip as I visualized what she would do if she did find out that he was dead.
“We just got a call from them; actually,” The other nurse said with a more booming voice tone, “They’re doing everything they can. If they find something, they should give you guys a call.” She continued to say. My mom nodded at this, and she approached me as I swung my legs over the bed.
After my mom paid for the crutches and checked us both out of the hospital, the nurses helped me to the parking lot so I could get in the SUV safely. They waved goodbye as soon as my mom started up the car and drove off. I gazed at the bandaged around my legs and the crutches that sat in the back seat. I laid my head back, sucking in my breath shortly after.
“How are you feeling?” My mom glanced at me and back at the road.
“Worried.” I mumbled, closing my eyes so I can just relax.
I was still too worried for Kresten. If…if he’s dead, I swear I won’t be able to go on in this world anymore. Not only would he die because he was trying to save me, but he doesn’t deserve to die. Like I mentioned before, he’s a good kid, and I wouldn’t want for him to die.
“Where’s Haley?” I suddenly asked, she happened to come across my mind for some apparent reason.
“I called for John to watch her as soon as I got the news about your incident, but she’s asleep so far.” My mom informed, making an exit off of a highway. I sighed, facing the window.
I was still a little weak; I haven’t gotten my strength still. In fact, every dose of strength from me that gathering inside of my body was drained instantly every time I thought of Kresten. I just really hope he’s okay, and not…dead. When we got home, my mom went to the back seat and grabbed my crutches, opening my side of the car door shortly after and handing them to me. “Thank you,” I said with a cough, ignoring the chilling temperatures.
“Now, when I filled in the order sheet for the crutches, I lied and said that you have experience with them, so we could get out of the hospital sooner. But if you don’t really know how to use them, then I’ll show you.” She offered.
“It shouldn’t be that hard.” I thought out, putting both of them under my armpits for support. Once I hopped onto the walkway with them, my mom closed the car door and walked beside me as we went for the front door. “How long will I need these stupid things?” I questioned, already aggravated with them.
“Only for five days.” She confirmed.
“Five?” I asked instantly.
“Shh!” My mom hissed in a snapping whisper, “You’ll wake up the neighbors.”
I rolled my eyes as she pressed the keys into the key slot of the doorknob, and we went inside. She closed the door at the same time I met eyes with John. He smiled at me and I sent one back at him. My mom sighed as she laid her purse and keys on the table. I glanced around as if it were my first time back here in a long time. My eyes softened as my mom stood face to face with me. I wanted to go upstairs, but she held my gaze, making me stay in place.
“You know, Brandon got the call from the hospital, too. They think he’s your boyfriend.” She said out loud with a soft smile.
I quickly blushed at this, my cheeks going hot and red. I found it hard to stand straight, even if the crutches were supporting my balance. John smiled at me, and walked up to my mom and kissed her on the cheek.
“Haley wasn’t any trouble at all,” He confirmed, “I’ll see you two whenever I can.” He smiled at me and headed for the door, “Good night.” He said dismissively, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Now that we were alone downstairs, I went over to the couch with the crutches still positioned under my armpits, running my fingers through my hair. My mom sat beside me. I glanced at her and stared down at my lap, slowly opening my mouth but hesitantly.
“How did…how did Brandon respond?” I questioned, kind of not wanting to know, but simultaneously wanting to. My mom shifted her gaze to me, her green eyes gleaming from the living room lights.
“He was worried.” She finally said with an apologetic voice tone. My jaw dropped at this, I was stunned. Brandon worried, for me? “He wanted to come and see you at the hospital, but I demanded for him not to worry; and I didn’t want this whole event to influence him to be distracted for exams. Speaking of which,” My mom quickly alternated the subject, “You should get to bed. It’s already late. You’ll need all the rest you can get for tomorrow.”
I stared at her a little while longer, my mouth agape. I did this until I finally started reacting to her demand with a nod. She sighed as if she were exhausted. I stood up with my crutches and approached the staircase.
“Do you need help?” She asked instantly, approaching me for assistance.
“If I have to wear these for five days, then I’ll need to learn myself.” I chuckled out, putting the left one on the first step, first. I was somehow trying to dig for humor, although I was terrified out of my mind. It's something I tend to do to keep my mind off of whatever's bothering me. The bad thing is, it doesn't even work. Yet, I still do it.
“I was just trying to help, sweetie.” Mom said.
I glanced at her with a grin and placed the right crutch on the first step as well. I did this pattern repeatedly until I got to the top of the staircase. I was proud of myself.
“Good job,” My mom commented from downstairs. I smiled at her. “Do you need to be tucked in?” She asked. I laughed at her softly as a response and went for my room. And as soon as I went in it,
I closed the door and started crying.
I slammed my crutches on the floor and limped to my bed, experiencing pain at the same time. I was angry, I was worried, I was upset. And this was all because of a guy; Kresten. I didn’t want my mom to worry about me, so I put on smiles and a few laughs to hide the pain and emotions that I successfully suppressed. I wanted to die, I wanted to cry my eyes out, I wanted to scream…and it was all because I had a very strong feeling in my heart that makes me actually think Kresten died. What if he did? I wouldn’t be able to go on in this world, I just wouldn’t. I couldn’t.
Knowing that he died because of me…no, I still have faith.
I still believe! I sighed and crawled into my covers without even changing out of my clothes or removing my smudged makeup. I just needed rest. Tomorrow’s exams and I can’t be distracted…I just can’t.
I lifted my head slowly the next morning and closed my eyes tightly as I lifted my body up. My legs were still sore, but they weren’t as bad as yesterday. I glanced around my room, breathing a sigh out afterwards. I swung my legs out of bed, which bought massive pain to them for some odd reason.
“Ow, Ow!” I moaned, wanting to cry.
I placed my foot on the carpeted floors, until I realized that I could walk because of the pain in my legs. I darted my eyes around my room, where are my crutches? I continued looking around until I spotted them on the floor. I was so angry last night that I didn’t bother laying them by my bed. I groaned.
“Mom!” I screamed, closing my eyes as I screamed out her name. I waited a few seconds, no reply. “Mom!” I screamed again with a hint of annoyance in my voice. Within seconds, my mom came running in.
“What?” She panicked. I rubbed my eyes and pointed to my crutches lazily. She trailed her eyes to the direction of where I was pointing, and then she rolled her eyes. “Oh god, Heather.” She groaned out, walking over to pick the crutches up. “I thought you were dying or something.”
She helped me to my feet and I winced in pain, trying to make it seem like it wouldn’t bother me.
“You do realize I have to take you to school, right?” She asked, putting each crutch under my armpit. I nodded my head, hopping my way to the bathroom. When I turned on the sink, I caught my mom before she would leave my room again.
“Did they call yet?” I questioned with a soft stare. Of course I didn’t forget about Kresten. My mom chewed on her lip and shook her head from side to side, walking out shortly after. I thought weirdly of her terse behavior and then I sighed and glanced at my mirror reflection, throwing my toothbrush under the water. After I brush my teeth, styled my hair into a sloppy bun, applied makeup, and threw on an outfit (my mom had to help me slip into my skinny jeans), I grabbed my book bag and cell phone. I had a hard time getting downstairs, but I made it down safely.
My mom held the door open for me. My book bag bounced on my back freely as I hopped across the walkway to get to the SUV. Haley was already dropped off forty minutes before. I waited patiently for the doors to unlock and once they did, I leaned against the car and threw my crutches in first, followed by my book bag and cell phone. I got in. Once she started up the vehicle and drove off, I relaxed. I laid my head against the seats, inhaling and exhaling harshly.
It’s hard work getting ready for school if your legs weren’t in a good enough shape. It makes me realize how important legs are; I guess I never took the time to see that.
When I got to school, my mom, being so protective and cautious as she was, wanted to make sure I got inside the building safely. Once we did, I could feel a lot of eyes on us. I lowered my head. That’s about the only thing I can relate to towards another teenager; I’m embarrassed of my mom.
“You can go now,” I muttered, watching everyone look at the bulletin board for what classrooms they’d have to take the exams in. “
Are you sure you’ll be alright?” She chewed on her lip at this.
“Yes, now go.” I rushed at her impatiently.
“Maybe I should at least make sure you get to your locker safely.” She thought out loud, glancing at me and looking around the school.
I rolled my eyes, too tired to even protest. When I got to my locker, she held my book bag and cell phone for me. I glanced around, realizing that I hadn’t seen Brandon or the others anywhere; they must already be in their assigned classroom. I plucked the lock off of my locker and struggled to reach into my locker without actually falling in. My mom held onto one of my arms for support as I used the other to take out a pencil. That’s all I’ll need. After I closed my locker door, I look at my mom, expecting for her to leave already.
“Oh,” She was alarmed at this, “I should go now?” She guessed. I nodded stiffly, swinging my book bag around my back again. She smiled at me, “I’ll pick you up again, okay?” She walked off before I could even ask her to keep me updated about Kresten.
I sighed as I hopped off, trying to get to the nearest bulletin board. I know that people were still constantly look at me and giving me chilling whispers, but I ignored that. When I got to a hung up sheet, I looked under the “H” for last names. As soon as I found my full name, I checked the classroom number beside it.
“Room 196.” I read aloud, squinting my eyes at how small the print was.
“We have the same room together.” Someone’s voice boomed from behind me.
I couldn’t turn around completely because that would involve my legs, so I just turned my head. Standing there was Aubrey. With Brandon standing beside her. I blushed quickly and glanced at my legs, and back up at the two of them.
“Oh my gosh!” Aubrey threw her arms around me, nearly suffocating me.
Her legs were practically against mine as she backed me against the wall without realizing it. I closed my left eye with pain, trying hard to suppress in a scream. Brandon looked uneasy, his book bag on one of his shoulders with his hands in his pockets.
“Everyone around the entire school knows about last night,” Aubrey initiated, “Are you okay?”
She gazed down at my legs for a few seconds, both wrapped with thick white bandages. My left leg had the longer bandage and my right leg had the much shorter one. “I’m okay,” I reassured, glancing at Brandon.
He hasn’t said a word this entire time.
I gazed at him for a couple of seconds as he stared at me. Aubrey finally pulled off and started straightening her hair, laughing as she started to do the same to my hair, too. I chuckled at her, and she finally stopped.
“I have to go before I’m marked as late,” She glanced at Brandon, giving him a look like she knew what he was bound to do once she’d finally leave us two alone, “I’ll see you there, Heather.” She held her hand out.
I cocked an eyebrow at her.
“I’ll take your book bag for you and turn off your cell phone, too.” She finally offered. I smiled at her and handed her the items, and right after, she disappeared off.
I looked up into Brandon’s eyes for a second and stared down at my feet, finding this whole thing awkward. When I had to reposition my left crutch under my armpit again, I had no choice but to meet eyes with him. He continued to stare down at me; he was only a few inches taller. I stared at him, unable to look away. After a few seconds, he took two steps closer to me and pressed the back of his palm on my cheek. I was fully mesmerized; he continued to hold my gaze. Before I knew it, he leaned into me and kissed me. My eyes grew broad in shock. He placed his forehead against my own, and I could feel his breath brush my nose.
“I…was so worried about you.” He murmured, looking me in the eyes.
I stared up into his eyes again, and he forced a gentle smile. Despite all of my constant worries and stressful thoughts, I smiled back. And this time, it was a real one. Because he is the only one who could ever make me smile, no matter how serious a situation may be that I’m going through. And that’s why I love him.
“I wish I was there. I could've protected you.” He whispered.
I ran my fingers through my hair, not sure if I should say thank you or not.
“I’m sorry about your friend,” He suddenly said out the blue, “In the newspaper, it said they found him dead along with James Freeman and Elaine Waters. I think it was really brave of Kresten to sacrifice his life just for you.” He commented.
My eyes softened at this and I slowly raised my eyebrows. I felt my heart splatter all over again, it was harder to breathe.
“Wait, he’s…he’s dead?” I asked loudly. Brandon’s green eyes studied me for a second, and he tilted his head.
“Yeah, his parents were devastated, and are planning a funeral. They already told your mom this morning. She didn’t tell you?” He asked.
Already I could feel myself flustering with frustration, anger, and disappointment. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe this shit! I could feel my eyes work up moisture and I shook my head from side to side lightly, backing myself against the walls and dropping my crutches, dragging to the floor. I buried my face in my hands as I started to sob.
Brandon squatted beside me, “I’m so sorry for your lost. I didn’t know Kresten well, but when he did go to school, him and Lola McIntyre were the most talked about couple.” He said. I was too caught up in yet another one of my depressions to even listen to Brandon.
“No!” I suddenly yelled, refusing to believe this. I wanted to die, right then and there. Does Brett know? Does Vincent even know? Am I the only one who felt the need to just rewind time and save Kresten? “It’s all my fault!” I yelled through Brandon’s shoulder as he held me close by him. We drowned together in a melancholy atmosphere, on the hallway floors.
“Excuse me,” I heard someone say. They sounded like a female teacher. “You should be getting to your designated classes, exams will begin in less than twenty minutes and they’re probably starting role call in your class.” She confirmed.
I continued crying, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. I just lost a near and dear friend; she should understand that.
“Let’s go, chop chop.” She rushed, snapping her fingers.
“We’ll get going in a few minutes,” Brandon said politely, continuing to hold me in his arms while I continued to cry my eyes out.
“Listen, young lady, I don’t know what seems to be the problem, but you have to suck it up and get to class.” She demanded of me, ignoring Brandon’s patient and subtle reply.
I opened my eyes at this, my heart broken at the same time. I wiped my eyes and pushed Brandon off of me, standing in front of the lady who had her arms crossed.
“You selfish bitch!” I yelled out, looking her in the eyes. She gave me a look, and Brandon quickly stood up.
“She doesn’t mean that,” He promised, pulling me away from her.
“Like hell I do! I mean every word that comes out of my mouth!” I screamed, trying to push him off of me. “I’ve had enough of this stupid, pathetic, uptight, snobby school! You think everybody’s lives are perfect! You don’t even know why I’m crying!” I screeched out, giving her a nasty look.
She squinted her eyes at me for a few seconds, finally replying, “I’m sure it’s not important.”
I squinted my eyes at her for a couple of seconds, trying to figure the lady out. A side of me that contained a mixture of impatience, anger, and frustration shunned over me, and without thinking, I shoved the lady.
“Heather, calm down!” Brandon yelled, pulling me back even more. I try to pull away from him again as the lady stared at me as if she were shocked.
“She thinks she knows everything when she doesn’t!” I cried out. Just as things were getting tense, the school principle noticed, and he rushed over.
“What seems to be the problem?” He asked quickly, getting between both the teacher and I.
“Assault,” The lady spat out bitterly, “She shoved me when I told her to get to her class.”
I continued crying, pulling away from Brandon officially.
“I don’t even care anymore. I hate this school.” I bent over to grab my crutches, knowing that I’ve just earned a trip to the principle office.
I positioned each under my armpit, huffing out a sigh.
“Young lady, we do not tolerate this kind of behavior here at Northern High School.” The principle placed his hand on his hips.
I stared at him with tears in my eyes. I wanted to scream and punch him. I was angry, and no one understands how I feel at the moment. He nodded his head to the exit of the hallway and I reluctantly followed him, knowing where I was headed.
I turned back and Brandon gave me a worried look, and then I turned back straight ahead.
*****
“What were you thinking, Heather?” My mom nagged at me from the kitchen.
I sat on the couch in the living room in silence, my numb but ‘feeling better’ legs crouched on the couch. Since I shoved the teacher, I had to be picked up early and was suspended until Monday. It’s Thursday. They told me I have to make up exams on Saturday. Hoo-rah.
“Shoving the teacher? I honestly can’t figure you out sometimes.” She handed me a carton of juice.
I settled it on the table, looking her dead in the eye, “Why didn’t you tell me Kresten died before I left to school?”
She gave me a look, her lips pressed in a tight line. She finally breathed out a sigh, “I didn’t know how to tell you.” She finally took a seat, her forehead in her hands.
“Didn’t know how to tell me?” I yelled, my eyebrows softened. I breathed out a long and tired sigh, trying to calm down. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to suppress in my anger. “You lied to me, you could have just told me he died this morning. But no…” My voice trailed off as soon as I felt a quick feeling of hurt and betrayal for some reason.
I covered my face in my hands, sighing again afterwards. She didn’t reply to me whatsoever, she just sat in silence. “I already lost my dad, people think I’m crazy at school, and now I lost Kresten.” A tear fell from my eye and onto my lap.
I was officially tired and done with all of these things happening in my life; I just wanted for it to come to an end. And is it getting better? No. It’s getting worse. One of my guy friends are dead now, my ex-boyfriend is somewhere in California for I don’t know how long. I couldn’t see myself living at this point. I just hate my life, and there’s no way it could get any better. I stared at my mom a little longer and grabbed my crutches, not even bothering to use them. I limped upstairs with them in my hand, trying so hard not squeak with agonizing pain. I just couldn’t take it.
I went into my room and closed the door, going to my bed to cry some more. I just couldn’t cry in front of her, I never liked crying in front of anyone, really. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, ignoring the makeup on my fingers.
I felt like the slightest bit of happiness in my life was being taken away from me. I didn’t know how to go on, I didn’t know. I just didn’t. I was frustrated, confused, I had just in fact lost a friend. A near and dear friend to me; the one who told me to always follow my heart; to love whoever I please. The one who kept my secret that would hurt his best friend, but he kept it anyways. The one who’s been hurting when my best friend, Lola, left. The one who gave me a nickname to tease me, the one who died…because of me. It was my entire fault. I was the one who wasn’t strong enough, and he slipped from me.
The one who showed me a place where I could go to when I wanted peace and to be alone. The guy who did all of those things for me, despite the fact that I verbally framed him for hurting me, when he really didn’t. The one who sat in jail, for doing nothing. That one.
The rest of Thursday and Friday was very depressing. I stayed in bed all day, crying and refusing to get out of it. I just wanted to be alone, that’s all I wanted to do. When Saturday came rolling around, I had to get ready so I could get to the school and make up my exams. They were really hard, but I managed to complete them with a good feeling that I would pass anyway.
When I came home from it all, I went into my room. I was now at a good level where I didn’t need my crutches, but my legs were still a little sore. I chewed on my lip, depressed. I felt like crap. I felt like I lost so much…in so little time. I felt like time was stopping, and the rug was being pulled from underneath. As I sat on my bed, ignoring the many calls and texts I got from Erica, Eric, Brandon, and Aubrey, I thought more about Kresten, and thought about his premonitions. He told me about them; problem was, I refused to believe him.
And Kresten was right. I bit my lip even hard when I replayed him telling me about them:
“I actually believe it’s going to be some freak accident.” He laughed out.
I replayed those words over and over again, and he was right. It was some freak accident. But how could he have those premonitions and be okay with them? Why was he willing to accept his fate? How could anyone be calm about that? I know that Kresten wants me to be happy and not be clutched in a ball of nothing forever, but I couldn’t help it. I lay on my bed, another tear falling from my eye. I sniffed at the same time of hearing footsteps enter my room; I didn’t bother to look at the door.
“Heather, you haven’t been yourself for the past few days.” Haley confirmed, sitting beside me as I continued to lie. I closed my eyes, another tear streaming down my face. I wanted the whole world to go away. “Mom’s worried.” She suddenly announced, touching my shoulder. I snatched it away from her, turning the other way. I refused to look at her. I didn’t want to look at anyone, I was angry with everyone.
“Heather,” I heard a voice say at my door frame. It was my mom. I didn’t bother to respond. “There’s some guy at the door for you. Can you at least step out of the room for once just to talk to him? He says it’s important.” She continued on with a soft look on her face.
“What’s the point? Talking to anyone isn’t going to bring Kresten back.” I muttered, getting up weakly and dragging myself downstairs, ignoring the slight pain my legs. When I got to the door, I noticed Brett. I closed the door behind me, not really expecting him.
“Hey,” He said softly, his head kind of low. I crossed my arms, staring at him with narrowed eyes. “You upset, too?” He asked out of the blue.
“I’m hurting more than anyone would ever know.” I wiped my eye, looking back at him. And it’s not because Kresten just died, that was just a major bonus to everything else that was going on in my life. Nothing was pretty. I’m not even sure if I could try to seal in my pain with a fake smile; things were just too damaged to be covered up.
“I knew James was crazy, but I didn’t think he was that crazy to almost shoot you. I mean, you’re one of our friends.” He continued saying, meeting eyes with me. I sighed, not wanting to reply to that.
Was I really still a friend to them in their eyes? I mean, they just remind me of James. I kind of wanted to hurt Brett then and there, and there wasn’t a reason to.
“Does Vincent know?” I suddenly asked, alternating the subject.
Brett nodded, cupping the back of his neck with his hand, “And so does Lola. She’s really pissed and upset; she couldn’t stop crying over the phone. It was horrible.” He said.
I groaned in my thoughts at this, feeling even guiltier. As we drowned in a silent atmosphere, my mom opened the door, interrupting it. Brett glanced at her and back at me, waving me off and walking off. I stared at him as he disappeared off, and I walked back into the house.
“I don’t really trust you with guys like him,” She suddenly criticized, “He’s one of those guys who are never up to any good.” I shrugged and went back upstairs, ignoring her comment. “You’re going back into your room?” My mom suddenly asked with disbelief, a nagging voice.
“Where else can I go?” I turned to her, finally reaching thin impatience. “What more can I do? You want me to pretend that I didn’t just lose a best friend?” I questioned.
“His death was sad, yes,” She agreed, “But you have to look over that.”
I winced at her for a few seconds; I couldn’t believe she was basically telling me to get over it. How dare she? Does she not understand, either? Does anyone understand my pain? I rolled my eyes and waved her off like she was no one to me, proceeding to my room. I slammed my door and plopped onto my bed, lying against the headboard. I just really needed to be alone. That’s all I want right now; a moment of peace. And that’s what I got the entire Saturday; I didn’t feel like going anywhere to see anyone or anything, and I’m relieved that no one bothered me the rest of the day.
Sunday was the same, except I actually had no one bother me. I just stayed in my room all day, coping with my problems with just complete silence.
When it came Monday, I took a quick shower; I started to experience less pain in my legs, so I guess that was good. After I got ready for school, I was in a good enough shape to walk, so that’s what I did. I was still a depressed, nothing’s changed. It’ll be even more painful once I get to school. After a few minutes, I finally got there. I walked inside with a troubled sigh, ignoring the constant stares. You know, they were getting really old, but I was too numb to even care. I went to my locker, ignoring everybody who continued to talk about me. When I got to my locker, I happened to find a ‘wordle’ on there. I stared at everything that was covered on it, written by a marker, or at least it smelled like it.
‘Violent Bitch!’ and ‘Slut’ and “It’s all your fault!” and other horrible things were written on them.
I pressed my head against the door of my locker, tucking my mouth in.
I glanced around the math hallways as I noticed people grinning and smirking at me. I could feel my eyes work up moisture, and I opened my book bag to get a cloth that happened to be sitting in there for a while and started wiping my locker, hoping that the horrible stuff would come off.
“It’s permanent, stupid.” A guy muttered as he walked pass me along with his other friends.
I breathed in and out harshly, wanting to not cry. But like always, I failed at trying to keep in my tears. I could hear people laughing and snickering, it hurts me. It really does. It’s bad enough I felt guilty myself, but people rubbing it in? And since when was I ever a slut? I closed my locker completely, not bothering to get my things for my classes. I ran to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in a stall, sitting beside the toilet and sobbing into my hands.
The only thing you could hear were moans and sniffs from me, and I didn’t care if anyone in the bathroom heard me. I snatched a piece of tissue off of the toilet paper holder and blew my noise, throwing it into the toilet. My back was against the stall still, and I lingered on the floor, not wanting to be here. I hate my life, I hated it. I looked up at the restroom lights as tears continued to travel down my soft and pale cheeks. I looked down at my lap as a teardrop fell on my thigh. The stall was not very spacious, but I didn’t care.
The late bell rung for class, but I didn’t care.
I continued to sit, acknowledging my silence and constant sniffs that broke it. When I finally had the balls to get out, I walked into math class, I knew my eyes were blood-shot red from crying, but I didn’t really want to get in trouble for being late.
I sat in my seat, everyone staring at me for a few seconds and turning their attention back to the board. The teacher looked at me for a couple of seconds, sending me a sympathetic look. I glanced at him and lowered my head on my desk, wanting to melt and disappear. After that class and science, it was Break time. I spent the whole time in the bathroom, not wanting to meet Aubrey or Erica anywhere. I was too ashamed to even show my face to them, I just wanted to be the loner for today. And that’s exactly what I got; I didn’t have any disturbances at lunchtime, either.
Not even Ms. Morse arrived to come and get me; she wasn’t even here for today. And possibly for the rest of the week. When school was over, I walked home with a relieved face expression. I didn’t want to be bothered at home either, but I’d rather have that than be at school, where everyone disrespects me.
I walked in the house as soon as I got there, and I closed the door afterwards. Just as I was making my way towards the staircase, my mom came from the kitchen, and I stopped to look at her, knowing she wanted to speak to me
. “How was school?” She suddenly asked, a small smile fitting around her lower face perfectly.
I shrugged as a response, “School was school.”
Of course I didn’t want to tell her I found a heap of words on my locker that confirmed for sure that everyone at the school hates me, and that I cried today, but…whatever. I’m so tired of talking about my problems, they’re not doing anything good for me and if they are doing something for me, then what they’re really doing is making things worse. I don’t want to deal with it anymore; I’ve reached my tired point. My mom sent me a cold stare, like I wasn’t telling her all that happened. I went upstairs and didn’t bother with the question anymore.
The rest of the week was a drag, basically a repeat of Monday, except…worse. A group of guys that I ran into on Tuesday followed me to my classes just to ask why I shoved one of the teachers, and what they’d do for me if I had sex with each of them. I ignored their comments, being bothered by it but not really seeing how I could respond to them. My friends continued to call me during the evening time because I avoided them all this week at school; it wasn’t that I was angry with them, more like I just didn’t want to face anyone.
On Friday night I even looked up Kresten’s death and it’d explained that he was shot and killed which wasn’t the story at all; he just fell down a cliff…because of me. I was upset even more to know that they had the whole story mixed up and probably didn’t want to ask me what really happened because I was too depressed to tell them anything.
Saturday finally caught up with the time of the world, and I found myself sitting at the dinner table of Summers’ home. Kresten Summers’s house. Ever since I got a call from them this morning to meet them and talk, I was extremely overwhelmed and hesitant about wanting to face them, so I wanted to bring a friend along with me. Brandon. He was the only one that could probably understand me without asking me much, and that’s why I needed him to send all of the support he could possible have. I chewed on my lip as Mrs. Summers made me some sweet tea, and his dad sat in front of both Brandon and I in silence. I grew nervous.
“Kresten kept telling me these premonitions, I didn’t believe them.” Ms. Summers suddenly claimed, her face was very exhausted looking and she looks like she’s had great grief, and I could understand why.
“He told me the same,” I lowered my head just a little.
Mrs. Summers and Mr. Summers were very classy people but very distant from everyone in the city; that’s why they’re always gone on cruises and up in Oregon on the weekends, they just can’t seem to find interests in Seattle during their free time. They were very polite and well educated; it was just their son who didn’t really see eye to eye like that.
“Kresten was a very good kid,” Mr. Summers confirmed as he grabbed his cup of coffee, slumping into his chair.
“Oh believe me, I know he is.” I agreed.
“When we heard about what happened to him, we were remotely devastated. But I’m very proud of him for protecting you.” Ms. Summers sat in front of both me and Brandon, who was quiet the whole time. “Here,” She offered me a small cup of tea and offered me an apologetic smile to go with it.
I took it nicely and took a short sip, settling it back on the table. Brandon tensed up in his seat a little for some reason, and I was curious of why.
“We called up our family in North Carolina so they could come to the funeral, but they haven’t called us back,” Mr. Summers suddenly initiated with a tight frown, “They never really got along with us anyway.”
I glanced at Mrs. Summers and back at him, “I’m very sorry.”
I bit my lip, feeling guilty for some odd reason.
“If they don’t call us back then we’ll continue to have the funeral, just a bit more privately.” Mrs. Summers said softly with a shrug. I nodded at this.
Brandon looked down at his lap and I followed his eyes, seeing that he was texting. How rude. I huffed out a loud sigh to let him know that he was being churlish and annoying, which also captured Mr. and Mrs. Summers’s attention.
I sent them a smile and they turned back to their warm beverages, drinking in silence. I punched Brandon in the leg and he glanced at me, his appealing eyes gleaming through the kitchen lights. I ignored them this time, sending him a look for him to put his phone away. He turned it off and shoved it in his pockets, propping his elbows on the table.
For Brandon to be born and raised into a polite, rich, and elite family, I was surprised to see that he was texting while we were talking to Kresten’s parents. And I thought I of all people wouldn’t know any more than Brandon does. My thoughts of that were broken when Mr. Summers started speaking up again.
“We want to have the funeral soon so we wouldn’t have to stress about the price and how many people would come, we’re willing to have to have it in another week. A private funeral.”
“Don’t you think that’s a bit too soon?” I mean, I didn’t want to disagree with their plans but it was happening too fast.
“I think it’s best if it’s rush a bit, sweetie.” Mrs. Summers stated with a glazing voice tone. I couldn’t help but to smile lightly at her. “Lola McIntyre from New York has confirmed that she’s coming,” She suddenly said, “She was Kresten’s ex-girlfriend.”
I nodded at this stiffly, trying very hard not to really show emotion to her statement. “I know. Lola is my best friend.” I confirmed. Well, was my best friend.
“You two are welcomed, of course,” Mr. Summers let out a tired and exasperated sigh, and he started fiddling with his fingers a bit. I stared at him; he looks like he’s been grieving the most. But to be honest, I think that I deserve to be worse, it’s all my fault Kresten died, after all. After talking to them and making sure they were okay, I walked to Brandon’s black BMW with a sigh, upset with him.
“What’s wrong?” He suddenly questioned while taking out his keys from his pockets. I crossed my arms and winced at him,
“You were being extremely rude during the whole time we were in there.” I practically yelled, trying not to startle the Summers and see what the whole fuss was about. “You know, they just lost someone very important to them, and so did I,” I suddenly commented with an angry and irate attitude, “And you couldn’t pay attention to them that one time?” I asked.
Brandon stared at me and breathed out a sigh, “I would feel bad if I actually knew the guy, but I didn’t.” He said.
My jaw dropped for the fraction of a second, I couldn’t believe he said that. I mean, just because you didn’t know Kresten doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to share my grief. Feel free to join in.
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes off and decided to dismiss the conversation, “Just take me home.”
I got in the passenger seat of the car and he got in the driver’s seat. He started up the vehicle but didn’t bother to back out of the driveway yet. I stared straight ahead, wiping my eye as soon as I felt that a tear was going to roll down my cheeks any second. Not only was I upset enough, but hearing that Brandon basically confessed to not caring about Kresten’s death, it upsets me.
“Heather, I’m sorry.” Brandon suddenly commented, turning to me before driving off.
“Leave me alone.” My voice was cracking, and I turned the other way. He breathed out a short sigh and did as I said, driving me home without even saying a word to me. When I got to my walkway, I opened the door, knowing that I left it unlocked before I left.
My mom and Haley went out for ice cream, and I didn’t want to go with them. Ice cream isn’t going to bring Kresten back; nothing will bring Kresten back. And as much as it pains me to say this, I can’t convince myself that he’s actually dead although he really is.
I’m still in shock, I just don’t see how I could go on knowing that he died because of me, and he’s gave me so much while he was alive.
____________________________
Comment, share, and vote.