"No."
"Why not?" Hanji whined.
"Why do I feel like whenever a conversation ends up like this, I end up doing it?" Levi asked in an annoyed manner.
Hanji stepped closer. "Because you will come with us."
"Come on, Levi," Erwin pleaded. "Just come with us and eat. It'll be fun!"
"Except for the fact that I hadn't eaten out since forever," Levi mumbled.
"Well, it's not too late to start," Erwin smiled. "Please come with us..."
Hanji and Erwin did their puppy eyes for Levi which really freaked him out. For one thing, they were growing adolescents, puppy eyes aren't cute anymore.
"FINE!" Levi sighed and gave in. "Fine... I'll go."
✎➕➖✖➗✐
"Soooooo?" Hanji drew out her word. "When was the last time you ate at a restaurant, specifically?"
Levi stared straight ahead of him. "Since my third birthday. And Erwin! Isn't it illegal to have more than one passenger in the car who is not your family member when you are in your first year of holding the license?"
Erwin didn't reply, which made Levi groan in frustration.
"Here we are," Erwin stated. "Olive Garden!"
"What food do they have here?" Levi asked.
"The kind you can eat," Hanji replied.
"I mean from where is the food?" Levi changed the wording.
"Italy," Erwin stated. "How do you not know?"
"It's not like the job interviewer is going to ask me what kind of restaurant Olive Garden is," Levi replied. "Now shut up and drive before you hit another fucking unsuspecting squirrel!"
✎➕➖✖➗✐
"Do we have to pay for the bread?" Levi asked, pointing at the breadsticks on the table.
Erwin rolled his eyes. "Hanji give me a breadstick.
"Sure thing," Hanji nodded while handing a breadstick to Erwin.
With one swift motion, Erwin swung the breadstick at Levi's head and the bread bent in half. "Stupid."
"What the-" Levi exclaimed. "Why the fuck did you-? My hair is filthy now!" Levi glared holes into Erwin's soul. "So what if I asked a stupid question?"
"I'll respond with a stupid answer," Erwin replied.
"You didn't respond with a stupid answer," Levi corrected him, "you hit me with a stupid breadstick!"
Erwin shook his head. "The breadstick itself is incapable of being stupid. Unlike you." Erwin hit Levi on his head once again with the same breadstick. "Stupid."
The waitress stepped up to the table and delivered the drinks they had previously ordered. "And have you decided on what you would like tonight?"
"I would like the Ziti, please," Erwin stated.
"Lasagna!" Hanji exclaimed. "What about you, Levi?"
Levi stared at the menu. All of the choices, despite having a description written below them and being written in English, seemed foreign to Levi. He wasn't sure if it was the lack of knowledge on proper etiquette at restaurants or Erwin's breadstick beating, but he wasn't able to fully comprehend what he was seeing in front of him. So, he answered with 3, simple words.
"What is this?" Levi asked.
Erwin facepalmed.
Hanji stared at Levi and tried speaking to him like he was a baby. "This... is a menu. There are options in this... and you choose one... Then, the food will be-"
"I know what a menu is, I just don't know what I should get," Levi stated.
"Tour of Italy for the indecisive little child," Erwin smiled at the waiter.
"I'm not indecisive nor a child," Levi uttered to Erwin as the waiter took the menus and left.
"Say that to your inability to make an intelligent choice," Erwin stated while picking up the same breadstick he had set aside. "Stupid," he said again.
"I swear on Hanji's life, I will kill you if you dare-" but alas, Erwin hit him once again, with the breadstick.
Ignoring Levi's irritation, Erwin hit Levi. Again. "Baka!"
✎➕➖✖➗✐
"Enjoy your meals!" The waiter said as he walked off.
Levi stared at his plate while the others dig in. Shortly after, Hanji and Erwin felt uncomfortable watching Levi be uncomfortable.
"Is something wrong?" Erwin asked.
"Where do I start?" Levi asked while taking up his fork and stabbing various food items.
"Wherever you want to," Erwin answered, slightly confused.
"Yeah, but it feels strange," Levi stated. "I feel as if the people around us will judge me upon how I eat."
"If you didn't want to be judged, I think it's too late for that," Erwin said.
"Just cut your meat or whatever and eat it," Hanji pointed to Levi's dish.
Levi slowly took up his knife and began to position it over his meat. Then, he started stabbing the meat, which was concerning for his friends.
"Do you not know how to cut meat?" Erwin asked.
"The closest I came to cutting meat was the time we did the frog dissection way back when," Levi answered.
"Can you believe we're doing it again this year as well?" Hanji exclaimed in excitement.
"Just hold your fork like this, and cut with the knife like this," Erwin used a single noodle to demonstrate this seemingly difficult task for Levi.
"This is almost painful to watch," Hanji commented.
"There you go," Erwin said once Levi successfully copied the task.
"How small should the pieces be?" Levi asked.
Erwin paused for a second. Then, picking up the breadstick once more, he hit Levi, breaking the breadstick completely in half. "Stupid."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~