"Eyes open, everybody. Weapons up. You see someone coming at us, you fire." Glenn ordered.
I gripped the rifle in my hands as I searched the trees for any movement. Choosing to believe Aaron and feeling comfortable with it wasn't the same. My heart was beating unsteadily with each step we took away from the barn.
Trusting strangers was a new page in my book and it didn't come naturally. The fear of being wrong was almost overwhelming.
"So if we see someone, we just shoot them?" Michonne asked.
Her voice had a hint of sarcasm as she glanced at Glenn. According to Aaron, there was one more person out here. If we shot them, I don't think that'd be a very productive start to our integration into that community.
Maggie hummed. "It's a good question."
I took a deep breath before glancing behind us. We were so far that I couldn't even see the barn anymore. If we were to shoot someone, I wondered if they'd even hear it.
"What if they're someone like us? What if Aaron is telling the truth? What if they're someone who has nothing to do with this?" Michonne asked one question after the other.
All valid questions. As someone who's new to all this 'not shooting strangers at first sight' thing, I had no idea where to start. Not entertaining the idea of shooting them felt strange, too exposed to the dangers of the outside world.
"We're six people walking with guns. No one's coming up to say hello." Glenn protested.
I frowned. "Aaron did."
It was the first time I'd spoken since his arrival was revealed to us. My voice sounded coarse to my own ears. I cleared my throat as I adjusted my rifle.
"If it's someone like us, we should be afraid of them. He said he was watching us, right? It means he saw us yesterday. And after everything we've done, why would he want us to join his group?" Glenn pointed out.
I hummed in agreement. That was a fair point. We've killed a lot of people, most of them deserving of that harsh sentence. Yet from a stranger's point of view, we were the psychos.
"People like us saved a priest. Saved a girl who rolled up to the prison with the Governor. Saved a crazy lady with the sword. He saw that." Michonne insisted.
I bit my lip as I pondered her words. There were plenty of times that I felt like an outcast in the group, plenty of times that I was the outcast even if it wasn't spoken out loud.
No one was ever unkind to me, though. Unless provoked and I did tend to do that a lot.
Glenn sighed. "I don't know what he saw."
We continued walking in silence for a few moments but my mind was anything but silent. I kept thinking about Aaron and what reasons he could possibly have to want us.
Most important resource, he said, survivors.
"Potential. Even after everything we've done, who we've become. He saw what we could be." I said.
The knowledge spread warmth in my chest. I wanted to see what was beyond this, beyond who I've had to be. My way clearly wasn't working but it's not too late to make up for it. It can't be too late.
Abraham frowned. "And what's that?"
I took a deep breath and glanced at Michonne. She was looking at me with approval written all over her face. She and I were on the same page concerning this matter.
"Something better."
----
I lowered another batch of cans onto the ground as I watched Abby help arrange them. The hungry look in her eyes was difficult to miss. Pride sprung up inside me as I realized it was my actions that brought her food.
Aaron was telling the truth about his van and the food. I trusted him and it paid off. A feeling that's very rarely been true.
"This? This is ours now." Rick spoke up.
I glanced at him showing one of the cans to Aaron who was still tied up in the barn. If anything, he seems to have gotten even more exasperated with Rick and his stubbornness.
He held in a sigh. "There's more than enough."
"It's ours whether or not we go to your camp."
My eyes immediately went to Rick at his statement. He refused to look at anyone but Aaron. I needed him to see me, though. To see that even I thought this was a good plan.
The desperation I felt to make him see reason was unwavering. I couldn't keep flinching every time the bushes rustled or every time the twins cried because they were hungry. I need to give them a place to call home.
I need to make up for all that I've done wrong before. Ryan deserves that. Dorothy deserves that. Cleo deserves that. Hershel deserves that. Hell, even Beth who I feel bad for ever hating.
"What do you mean? Why wouldn't we go?" Carl asked.
The confusion in his voice was so innocent. I glanced at him and realized that amidst everything that was happening, I almost forgot he was still just a kid. Still so young and in need of protection.
"If he were lying, or if he wanted to hurt us, but he isn't and he doesn't. We need this. So we're going, all of us. Somebody say something if they feel differently." Michonne demanded.
Her eyes found mine and I nodded agreeing with her. A couple of faces turned noticing my approval of the plan. Whether I've earned it or not, my voice matters in this group and it was about time I used it for something good.
"Michonne's right. We can't keeping living on the road, we deserve better. And this community could be exactly that." I argued.
Michonne gave me a grateful look for backing her up. Rick's head finally turned to look in my direction with a clenched jaw. He didn't agree and I knew he wasn't going to until we had more proof.
But we can't get more of it if we bury our heads in the sand. I hoped that he could see that written over my face.
"I don't know, man. This barn smells like horse shit."
My head turned to Daryl's place in the barn. I felt my heart skip a beat at his support. Our eyes met for a brief moment before I looked away. The conversation we had was still ringing in my head.
Rick nodded. "Yeah. We're going."
My eyes closed as relief washed all over me. It wasn't just me though. I could almost feel the collective exhale of the group as this question got answered. We were going. For better or for worse.
"So where are we going? Where's your camp?" Rick asked Aaron.
I turned to face him just as one of the twins started crying. Before I could even react, Dakota had swooped up Rhea in her arms. My eyes stayed glued to the two of them.
The concerned look on her face made me think of her and Merle's unborn child. The one she would never be able to hold or comfort. The twins may have lost their parents, but they've gotten an amazing aunt who's going to treat them as if they were her own.
That fact has never been more clear to me than now. I do not wish to have children and Dakota can not. But that doesn't mean we aren't already parents, in our own way.
"Well, every time I've done this, I've been behind the wheel driving recruits back. I believe you're good people, I've bet my life on it. I'm just not ready to bet my friends' lives just yet." Aaron protested.
At his words, my attention went back to the pressing issue. His lack of cooperation is making this more difficult than it should be. Rick doesn't wanna go through with this so giving him a reason not to isn't a good idea.
"You're not driving," Michonne frowned, "so if you want to get home, you'll have to tell us how."
Aaron hesitated before saying to go north on Route 16. He refused to give us anymore details which is when Rick decided to take matters into his own hands and choose our own path. Route 23 north during the night.
It wasn't the best plan. It was arguably putting us into more danger than necessary. But Rick insisted it was safer than the alternative. At this point, I was just glad we were going. If nothing else.
"No one is going to hurt you. You're trying to protect your group, but you're putting them in danger." Aaron argued.
Rick crouched down and looked at Aaron sternly. "Tell me where the camp is, we'll leave right now."
Aaron paused before lightly shaking his head. I resisted the urge to let out a groan of annoyance. Why do they always make it so complicated?
"It's going to be a long night. Eat. Get some rest if you can." Rick said before getting up and exiting the barn.
I took a deep breath before following him outside. He was in Aaron's car fiddling with something inside of it. Probably preparing it for what's to come tonight.
He looked up as I got nearer and leaned against the car. With the way he stilled, I knew I had his full attention. A sigh left his lips at my silence.
"I'm trying to keep you safe." He said.
I swallowed a lump in my throat as I knew he was referring to me individually as much as he was to the entirety of the group. He was our leader, sworn to keep as many of us alive as possible.
"I know." I replied.
Rick got out of the car and put one of his hands on my waist. His thumb stroked the tiniest bit of my exposed skin while his head was turned towards the road. I gently turned his head towards me with my fingers before pressing my lips against his.
It took him a moment to loosen up. The exchange with Aaron had him all tense. I pressed myself against him and his other hand pulled me even closer, holding us in that position. The feel of his body against mine almost made me forget where we were.
I pulled away but leaned my forehead against his. Our noses touched and he pressed another fleeting kiss onto my lips. A smile formed on my lips before fading away at the thought of what awaits us.
"Maybe it's not the right call, but it's the only one we've got. We'll figure out the rest as we go." I reassured him.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, his grip on me tightening. I wished we could be this close all the time. When I was with Daryl, sneaking around was fun and exciting. Like we existed in a world that was just our own.
Now it just made me feel lonely. As if though I was hiding a big secret from the rest of the world. And I didn't want to hide anymore.
"It's risky." Rick spoke up.
I hummed in agreement. Whatever path we choose, there will always be danger around us. It's just what life is these days. A never-ending cycle of death. Unless we approach it differently this time.
"What isn't these days? But there are some risks worth taking." I said.
Rick didn't reply at first. Only looked at me with a tenderness that always made my heart skip a beat. He kissed me again, deeper this time, before reluctantly moving away.
He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Go eat, I'll be right behind you."
-----
My eyes looked out the window as the van moved forward in the night. Not being in the car with Rick made me antsy. One part of me was concerned about his safety, the other was concerned about what he might do.
It's not a thought I liked to have. Worrying about his decisions and all that. But my mind kept going back to every time he was pushed too far and he snapped, retreating to the darkest parts of himself. It's not the life I wish for him.
"Hey, look what we found in one of the drawers."
I turned my head just as Carl and Abby plopped down near me. A stack of Uno cards was held out in front of me. I snorted as I picked it up.
"Do you losers even know how to play a sophisticated card game like this?" I mocked them.
Abby playfully shoved my shoulder as I heard chuckles from the group. There wasn't a lot of space in the van so were all kinda squished together in one way or another.
I turned to them. "Anyone else wanna see me make two teenagers cry tonight?"
Abraham raised his hand for a moment before Rosita slapped it away. I couldn't help the smirk spreading on my face at the sight.
"I'd like to play." Tara spoke up.
Noah also hummed in agreement. I motioned for them to get closer as we tried to make a circle. A task more difficult to achieve in a van than you'd expect.
I shuffled the cards before giving everyone theirs. Tara went through the rules very quickly as most of us hadn't played Uno in literal years but the game was easy to pick up.
My fingers clutched the cards I was holding to my chest. "No peeking, Carl."
He protested at my allegation as I let out a chuckle. It was so easy to mess with him. Abby copied my movements as Noah asked Tara more questions about what was allowed.
For a good twenty minutes, everyone let their guard down. Forgetting what we were doing and where we were headed. Round after round, it was easy to pretend there was nothing to worry about. Until the van suddenly hit the brakes and we all lurched forward.
I didn't have time to ask questions before I heard it. The all too familiar growls of the dead outside of our vehicle. I let my cards fall to the ground as I got up despite the speeding up of the van.
A mere glimpse of the car Rick was in was all I got before we were moving away from them and the herd of walkers we had stumbled into. Shouting erupted in the van as everyone tried to figure out what to do.
It was then that a bright red light went up in the sky. My breath hitched as I moved to the front of the van.
"Follow that flare."
-----
My knee bounced up and down as I stared into the empty alley. I gave up on standing a while ago because my pacing would've given away our position or attracted walkers.
"They'll be here." Daryl said.
He stood leaning against the wall of the water tower we were currently camping out in. The rest of the group was inside while Rick, Michonne, Glenn and Aaron were still missing after the herd encounter.
"I can't just sit here and do nothing, Daryl." I protested.
I got up and leaned against the opposite wall so I was facing him. It was comforting to look at his face. It gave me something to think about that wasn't the worry consuming me.
He held his crossbow in his arms, alert but not tense. His eyes flickered over my expression before choosing to look at the ground instead.
"You can track them down, can't you?" I pleaded.
My voice sounded desperate even to me. Usually I might've not worried about them so much but we've been losing people left and right. Not to mention that trusting Aaron was my call. True, the other man he was with seems okay and doesn't look like a serial killer but still.
Anything could've happened in that car. None of which I am prepared for.
"Too dark right now. If they don't show up by morning, we can go look for them together." He promised.
I opened my mouth to thank him but was interrupted by a whistle in the distance. Daryl moved away from the wall as the whistle repeated. He responded with the other tune as I saw figures approaching us from afar.
As Daryl pounded on the door to alert the others, I ran towards them. Rick emerged from the shadows just as quick on his feet as me. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed tightly.
The relief we both experienced was palpable. "Are you alright?"
I nodded at his whispered question and reluctantly let go of him as the doors opened. Carl ran towards him as I turned to Michonne and Glenn giving them a smile.
There was no time to ask questions as our group reunited. Whatever happened to them was going to have to wait. I noticed Aaron for a brief moment before he started calling for Eric. Upon hearing his voice, he ran inside the water tower.
"Did he try to screw us over?" I asked Michonne.
She shook her head. "No, he got scared."
I bit my lip glancing at the building he ran into. There's a lot of fear going around. I looked at Rick who was looking in the same direction. As I stared at him, our eyes met. I looked at Carl then back at him.
Tonight. I wanted to tell the rest of the group about us tonight. There was no point entering a new life with old habits. Rick can tell Carl and the others. I can tell my sisters.
It'll be on our terms.