I gulped down my tears.
The black doe eyes that once held love and warmth for me were now piercing my soul with their coldness. The lips once busy giggling around me, now cut me off. The voice that once used to call me out with tons of nicknames, now put me in my place. The pang I felt when she addressed me as her brother-in-law, was probably more harsh than a truck hitting me.
I closed my eyes to control my sentiments.
"Good night." I said and walked out of her room. Sprinting of to my suit, I closed the door with a thud and broke right at my door step. Harsh sobs wrecked my vocal chords and echoed in my empty room just like my life.
I cried for loosing her. I cried for my fate. I cried at the fact that I could never win her back.
A sudden knock diverted my attention. I just hope no one could have actually heard me cry out loud. The Palace was pretty old and the rooms weren't sound proof.
I never did anything that would require me to cage myself in sound proof room. All my cried were generally silent and pillow-soaking.
Wiping my tears away, I cleared my throat to make sure my voice wasn't hoarse. Plastering the smile I have practiced all these years, I opened the door.
There stood Dadi with a grim expression, proving my theory of sound proof rooms being absent.
"May I come in, Yuvraj?" She asked me. Her voice was stern as she was in a no non sense mood. I nodded and opened my door wide for her to step in. I switched on the lights and sat on the couch beside her.
Silence prevailed in the room. It was awkward. She kept her eyes trailed on my face.
"Kya haal bana rakha hai aapne apna, Kuwar sa?" She gently caressed my hair.
(What have you made out of yourself?)
"Aisi kaunsi baat hai jo aapko itna sataa rahi hai?" She asked me. I couldn't meet her gaze.
(What has been eating you up?)
"Yaa to aap humein khud bata ke apna mann halka karenge yaa hum apne tareeke se baat nikalwayenge." She warned me. The proof that she once was a queen laced her dominant voice.
(It's either you share your mental burdens with me on your own or I'll have my ways with the truth.)
"Koi baat nahi hai.. Dadi sa. Hum-humein bas Meera ki yaad aa rahi thi.." I lamely replied. I was sorry for using her death as my excuse but that's the least she could do for me after the ploy she put me through.
(It's nothing to be concerned about, Dadi Sa. I was just missing Meera.)
"Do you think I am mad, Kunwar saa. You were naked and in my arms, drenched in blood, since I first saw you. Do you think I can't even tell when you lie to me? Aapko ek aur mauka dete hai. Tell me what's wrong. Or rather I say, what has been wrong ever since you returned from London?" She asked me.
(I'll give you another chance.)
I remained quite.
"To theek hai. Meera ki hi agar baat hai.. I am searching for potential brides now. Get ready to get married again." She stood up with a smug face. For the people who knew her, like me, knew she could actually do that. So, I did what I thought it would be appropriate. I held her pinky finger and looked up at her with puppy eyes.
(Well then, if you're really missing Meera..)
"Please naa Dadi Sa!" I begged.
"To batayie puri baat.."
(Spill then.)
I bit on my lower lip in contemplation. I felt a nudge on my shoulder.
"Mann bhi halka ho jaayega aapka aur hum apne tajurbe se hal bhi nikaal denge!" She told me. Heaving a sigh, I replied, "I am too late to seek a solution, Dadi sa."
(You'll feel lightened up after sharing your burdens and I might give you certain solutions with my experience too.)
After a few more moments of silence, I began.
"During my stay at London, I was really gloomy thinking I have to return to Jaipur and take over the throne of being a Crown Prince. I wasn't ready to watch people looking at me with expectations or my family looking at me with huge amount of beliefs. Then came the news of my betrothal to Meera, which I wasn't ready to accept. To take my mind off and utilize the rest of my years of freedom, I decided to do something that might be difficult for me to do now. I decided to go for a world tour.
I started off with Indonesia succeeding with Middle East, then Europe. I was at a cafe in Rome, when I decided to get out of my phone and maybe observe people. That's when my eyes fell on a really hypnotising lady, barely nineteen, but with a charm like no one else. I experienced what love at first site was.
She apparently had forgotten her purse in her hotel room. I decided to intervene her conflict with the management staff when it was the time to pay. I paid for her and she asked me to come with her to her hotel room as she didn't wanted to take her as a charity case. She wanted to repay.
Instead of accepting her money, I asked her to repay with a date the next day. She agreed after a few moments of contemplation. It was hard for us to trust each other and let the other one know about our real identities, so we shared a nickname with each other.
Kriti and Adi.
The next day, after our date, we became travel buddies when I came to know she was from Rajasthan too. We became close. We fell in love. We shared our identities when we were intoxicated for the first time in our lives. I told her I was the Crown Prince of Jaipur, she told me she was the forgotten Princess of Udaipur. I was 22, she was 19. We were happy."
I probably looked like a mad man with a huge smile and tears streaming down my face.
As Dadi Sa processed the information, she realised who Kriti was.
"San-Sanskriti?" She whispered. I nodded my head.
"Sanskriti. My Kriti." I whispered back.
"Before I could tell her about how much I love her and how I was betrothed to her sister but was absolutely going to break things off with Meera once I go back, she was already asleep.
The next day we were on a flight to Udaipur. She was an emotional wreck. While I consoling her, it absolutely slipped off my mind to tell her about Meera.
When we reached her father's study, Meera lunged upon me and pretended to kiss me. Sanskriti ran away. Rana Sa didn't let me go after her.
I thought I'll explain her everything the next morning. Nut Alas! The next morning came by but Sanskriti didn't." I looked at my shivering palm.
"I still love her from all my soul and heart. Only if I didn't listen to Rana sa and chased after her. Only if she could have waited for me atleast untill the sunrise. I regret I have so many 'only ifs' in my story. But that's all I have left, Sanskriti's memories and regrets."
I looked up to see Dadi Sa crying too. I gave her a sad smile and wipped her tears away.
"I never loved Meera. I couldn't. Meera knew I loved her sister even before we got married. I asked for her help to find Sanskriti. But then life played its game. I had to choose between my family along with my best friend and my soulmate."
I chuckled mirthlessly. Dadi sa embraced me in one of her rare hugs as I cried out loud.
~•~•~•~
Alexa play Beethoven's music.
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