" well, we need to try to get this together because this is the last day that he's here." Macy shrugged.
" I don't hate him at all, I don't wish him no ill will on him. he threw water in my face, but that's all he really did."
" he need to understand there is a lot of men who don't play about their women. He has always gotten away with shit like that and I feel like that's why he's salty. You can't just go around disrespecting everybody's girlfriend, it don't even matter if it's your sister. Some niggas just don't play about their bitch. His special request for Joshua to not be here was weird. You should've never even disrespected him like that or his daughter. Most importantly, his daughter." Macy expressed.
You heard it right we are trying this family sit down thing again. Lamarcus requested that Joshua not be anywhere in the perimeter. That's fine, I have no problem with it. Joshua has no problem with him from my understanding. But if Joshua wanted to get to him, there's plenty of ways that Joshua would've went about it. Joshua is literally fucking crazy, so I definitely doubt that Lamarcus is on his mind.
" Joshua didn't mind, he actually found it very amusing. But like Josh said, this is our families business, he shouldn't even be here anyway. Which is true, why would I bring him here? He just so happen to be here that day because we were having breakfast and we spent the night. Me inviting him today makes no sense but I know that Joshua likes to pop up sometime, so I just had to tell him. But it didn't make sense at all." I shrugged and they shook their head. " but he doesn't really know me to know that I have common sense."
" I don't know I just want to fix all of this, I never really thought I would have spoken to him again and said how he made me feel that night."
" I honestly just hope that he comes with a clear mind, and he isn't either under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I don't know what was going on with him both of those times but he's definitely giving he was under the influence of something. Because the way that he spoke and his body language, and how he just kept messing with his nose, if we are going to fix these issues, he has to be present. He's not present and he's not here when he's under the influence." I said.
" yes, I thought I was the only one who peeped that, when he was here the first time he kept playing with his nose and that instantly made me uncomfortable. I knew he was high, and then the second time I didn't really pay attention to him so I don't know about that. I was more interested in, what Madison had going on."
" yes, even Josh said some thing about it. You can definitely tell that he was under the influence."
There was a knock at the door and my mom got up.
" I really want this to work out for mom." Macy sighed and I nodded.
"Hey!" Madison walked in with a huge smile on her face.
"Hey." I smiled.
"Hey." Macy laughed softly.
"Wussup?" Lamarcus walked in with a sad face.
"Hey." We waved.
" listen a Amil I wanna apologize because I was definitely out of pocket."
"Okay." I nodded. " like you requested. Joshua is not here, so like we requested are you OK?" He nodded.
" and by okay she is asking did you do any drugs today? Or any alcohol?" He shook his head.
" I haven't done any drugs for the last 24 hours as promised." I looked at my mom and she sighed.
"Okay." My mom sat up.
* They are using sign language as they talk from now on."
" OK so something that I really wanted to touch on today is the fact that you guys really have no reason to dislike each other, I understand you finding a reason to blame me however, the fact that you guys really have this hate your hearts toward each other is fucking ridiculous."
" on my part, I don't have any hate in my heart for anyone here. And this is me speaking with a clear mind to be clear. I only know what Madison tells me. And she doesn't tell me horrible things at all. She actually tells me great things about you guys, but like every story it's a good side and there's a bad side. I don't have a relationship with you to even dislike you. You guys did nothing personally to me." I signed for him.
" I don't know what Madison told you, like, you said, we have no relationship. That is why I was confused on why you were coming at us like that." Macy said and I nodded.
" yeah and then it was like you directed most of your angry at me, I didn't do anything, I don't know what I did to you or what Maddie told you- Madison what did you tell him?"
" like he said, I told him the good and the bad. We don't have the best relationship, so maybe my opinion on certain things is bias. He is the sibling that I have a relationship with now. And I'm not gonna lie when I jumped into this relationship with him, it was new to me, it was something I always wanted with him. I always wanted a relationship with my big brother. I did tell him about your issue growing up and how I thought your situation was not as bad as mine. Because I am deaf."
" but how can you say that when you were treated better than me, you are still the Pretty Sister. It didn't matter if you were deaf, those kids in that place did not care about that. I mean, of course some people picked on you for it, because people normally are afraid of things that they aren't used to. It is what it is, but the bullying and
the harassing that I went through growing up, I don't know your personal experience, but I can tell that you would rather choose your life then choose mine." She nodded. " I feel like it's very insensitive for you to spread that rumor around. Like I said, in your case, I don't know what you've been through personally, and I just saw what I saw. What I saw on your side I felt like everybody was hard on you as well but you were still pretty passing, which means you got a pass for being deaf because you were so fucking pretty, and you had a great body. So me downplaying your struggle, that would never come out of my mouth. It's no reason for that to come out of my fucking mouth. That is ignorant, and how it's ignorance is because you didn't take the time to understand what the fuck was going on around me, but you have such an opinion." She sighed.
" and I understand that now."
" I really feel like we all do not take the time or did not take the time to get to know each other. our stories would help us better understand each other. It will give us insight on things that we need to know, it'll explain a lot of our behaviors. Me and mom has been going to therapy for almost a year and we just now are getting to this point. So when you say things like mom babies us and things like that that's not true at all. Mom was actually very hard on us compared to you two."
" when we were coming up, you weren't around, yes mom gave us money and she bought us whatever we want. But that's dad's money." Lamarcus spoke.
" first of all, let's stop talking about money and I'm going to get into your comment in a minute. Because I had a feeling that you felt that way, so yeah. However, I didn't just shower you with money and gifts, I was in college when I had you like I stated before I took you to class with me, me, and your dad were the only people in Jersey to really take care of you. Neither of us had family down here. I personally didn't trust a babysitter. And that's because of certain things that I went through growing up. I didn't trust you with anybody, not a motherfucking soul. I'll let you go with your grandmom twice and it was so overwhelming to me that I couldn't do it anymore. That's why you only saw your grandmom twice. I felt like you were very vulnerable and I'm protected in the house so that wasn't a regular thing, you went twice And that's it. So you say that I wasn't around or I wasn't doing my job that is blatant disrespect to me. Who else was doing if I wasn't doing it, the same way dad is barely hear now it was 10 times worse when he first started working at the corporation. So it was just me and you and then after that it was me you and Madison and yes I did take a break from having kids in between. I had to make that choice because it was hard on me. I did everything and for your little comment about it being your dad's money. I handled all his back end work so that means I was his personal accountant. His personal assistant. All of that, I did all of that so the money that he has is ours. I didn't marry him for no reason, We were the perfect team, and that is exactly what we are. I do my part he does his part, and it all works out. I handle your dad's finances and I handle doctors appointments, dentist appointments, I was pick up and drop off for school. I made sure everything got done and I do things that a wife is supposed to do. I make his life way easier. While he goes to work, I handle everything at home which means paying bills even if it is his money I set his life up so he doesn't have to worry about nothing else but going into work and coming home, being fed, bathing and going to bed. I'll make his life easier so that's what makes his money our money. I work my ass off at home and honestly it's way harder than any 9-to-5 I ever had. Period." She spoke sternly look between all of us.
"Okay." Was all we could say.
" I am not gonna let you guys lessen my worth or my job as a parent or a wife because you guys want to use an excuse to be despicable people. And I'm not saying you guys personally are despicable. I am just saying every time you guys do something wrong you want to blame me. I don't need you to do that because I already blame myself. It's called taking accountability and you should do the same. I was with you every second of the day, I was the first one up in the morning and the last one to go to bed. There's were weeks where your dad was on business trips. I was there with you by myself, changing diapers, you and your sister, crying at the top of your lungs. Driving me fucking insane, I'm crying you guys are crying. Everybody was going fucking crazy and I had to handle everything by myself in that type of environment. I couldn't live my dream and I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do because I was a mother. And I do not blame you guys for that because I made that choice. That is why I never bring it up but sometimes I have to bring it up because you guys seem to forget what it takes to be a mother. With me I fully submitted myself to being your mother and that's how I know... I know what I did."
" how can you sit here and say that when I personally remember times where I needed you, you weren't there?"
" when was that? You have to tell me so I can-" she spoke as calmly as she could.
I was so proud of my mom, because usually she would have been defensive by now.
" there was times where I mentally was crying out for help and you weren't there for me. That's why I ran off with those friends, that's why I surrounded myself with the people that I surround myself with I was crying out for your help and you never heard my cry."
" what happened? That's all you have to do is tell me what happened.
" well, you remember that time that I went over grandma's house for joey's birthday." She nodded slowly. " we were all upstairs in the room, and uncle Omar came into the room and he told the rest of the kids to leave the room. He said it was a game of hide and go seek. He wouldn't let me leave the room because he said that I was it. All I remember is him turning off the light, he kept saying something about hide and go freak. And I didn't want to do it. And he said if I love him that I had to do it. He said that you guys used to play the game all the time when you guys were younger. And... He... He raped me and when I told grandma she beat me and she told me to never tell anyone that it happened because what I was saying wasn't true. And she said that I was just like my mom and, she hated us. And I could never come back to her house. Then she called you and pretended I did something bad or I broke something whatever she said, and you came and you were already mad at me so I couldn't tell you. I was so scared to tell you because I didn't want you to be mad at me for it." He started crying and my heart broke.
"Baby... I am so sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me that."
" I just felt like you had so much going on at the time. I remember you and dad were going through a time where you guys were going to divorce and I just felt like my problems would cause more chaos." He wiped his face and he sat up and stuck his chest out and took a deep breath. " I really didn't want you and dad to divorce." He burst into tears and my mom followed.
I could feel myself shiver. We all cry silently.
" you should've told me, I could've did something. I am so sorry that that happened to you and you felt couldn't come to me. I am so sorry. I always said that I wouldn't put my kids in a position and I did it. It's like everything I tried so hard to prevent it happened. I am so sorry. I should've never sent you to that place knowing what type of people they were. I thought because you were a boy maybe- I will take care of that later." She sighed and she got up and walked over to him and hugged him and started whispering in his ear and just comforted.
All this time we thought he just started acting out of nowhere from the stories that my mom and dad told us. But the whole time he was just trying to deal with the mental issues. But that's usually how it goes when it comes to drugs. It is so sad that nobody could see his trauma and his hurt and his pain. I definitely think we were attacking before we took the time to get to know him.