" come the fuck on then! I don't have all day I got shit to do."
" well calm the fuck down, you said you wanted to go right? OK so we're going to go. You talking to me like you're fucking crazy is getting very old." Gia sighed. " Really it is."
" Well, that's on you, you can pop your shit, but as soon as a motherfucker, state their own opinion, you get all overly sensitive and shit."
A nigga like myself has just been chilling. I feel like me and Amil would never work out because she comes with too many rules and restrictions in life. That shit is not fun, it's like walking on hot coals. You're always on the edge of your seat and I like to be settled and comfortable. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with her. Me and Millie had a conversation and she stated that we could never really be in a relationship because she wouldn't trust her around our kids. Even though I didn't agree, that is something that I have to respect.
I miss her, but she obviously doesn't need me nor does she want me. She never really showed me that she wanted me so I found someone who did.
" I don't know why you are hype to go, she probably won't even be there cause I know you are trying to go to see her." She rolled her eyes.
Gia is actually a cool girl once she starts being herself. A personality is the exact same as Amil, at first, I could definitely tell that she was mimicking everything that I knew did, and how she walked and talked. It kind of calm down, but I can still see the similarities. Gia wasn't horrible, she was and is down for anything, she is spontaneous and she is spicy. I like that shit, I don't know what changedfor her but she's definitely more laid-back. She acts like Amil when we first met. Just way less strict she still is a romantic and she loves love and she still lets my have my fun.
She finished getting dressed, and we talked in the car, I had nothing but time to spare today, because Millie took the kids to the carnival with her mom.
After about five minutes, I pulled up in front of Amil's house and I found myself looking for her car.
We hopped out and made our way into the party and Gia's mom walked up to us.
"Hey, David."
" hello ma'am, it's nice to see you again."
" can I speak with her for a sec?"
"Sure." She grabbed Gia's hand and they walked off.
It seem like everybody was outside, so I made my way out back to greet everyone.
"You can't say that though... MJ in his prime-"
"Was nothing compared to LeBron or Kobe." Amil's dad yelled.
"Wussup?" I greeted everyone.
"Wussup, sit down! Join the conversation." He dad waved me over.
He seemed really into the conversation.
"Daddy mom said where is the rub."
"I don't know, she always says that I can't be in her kitchen, but she always asked me where stuff is. I feel like she's trying to play mind games." Amil laughed.
"Hey." She waved to me and kept it pushing.
"Amil!" I hopped up and followed behind her. "Hello Mrs. Walker." I gave her mom a side hug.
"Hello David how have you been?"
" Great, on the move."
" as your young behind should be." She nodded. " well, there's beers and wine, in the fridge outside, ice cream and freeze pops and things like that in the deep freezer. Make sure you read them because some of them have alcohol. There is a finger food table outside, there's drinks in the cooler and fridge like soda, juice, whatever else is out there. The main course is not ready yet."
"Okay thank you, I actually wanted to speak with Amil." Amil looked at me and she shook her head.
" we don't have to talk, I mean-"
" Yes we do."
" no we don't and we are not going to." She laughed and pushed past me.
"Hello, Amil can I speak with you?" Gia's mom walked up and Amil hesitantly nodded. "Okay."
I just decided to back down.
we made our way up the stairs and ended up in my moms room.
" how about we go into my room, I don't feel comfortable in my parents room. I was never allowed in here, so I don't wanna be here." She nodded.
" sure I just came in here because the door was open." She laughed softly.
I let her to my room and I open the door and jumped at the side of Joshua sleep in my bed.
He disappeared like an hour ago, I don't know why I didn't think to come up here and see.
"Oh shit, he scared me." She laughed and walked over to him and shook him and he stirred and rolled over.
"One more minute."
"Vamos, Joshua, levántate, queremos hablar muy rápido y luego puedes volver." He sat up and he looked me and got up and walked out quickly patting my butt so she couldn't notice. " sorry, he works a lot so he sleeps a lot."
no the fuck he does not, trying to get this man to go to sleep it's like trying to catch up on the Busta Rhymes verse.
I'm sorry, Joshua told me a joke, and it thought was funny. Macy hating ass said it was just because I liked him, I think it's really funny.
" OK so what did you want to speak about?"
I don't have time set around being friendly, we have never had a type of relationship and I don't care to have it.
" well, I wanted to speak to you about something that your mother pointed out to me. The way that I have allowed myself and my daughter to treat you is totally unfair. You didn't do anything to us."
I've been saying this shit to myself for years. I didn't even know this bitch.
" we sometimes can go overboard, emotions can be high, and words can be insulting. I want to apologize if I have ever made you feel less then, less beautiful, worthless... That was never my intent. I feel like I am just a really harsh person and sometimes people take the things that I say very personally. I have to remember not. Everybody was raise like me." I nodded. " so I want to sincerely apologize to you on my own behalf. My daughter will choose to reconcile or have that conversation with you on her own. I don't know exactly what happened between you guys."
Yes you do, she tells you everything.
" I just know that you guys were inseparable at one point. You were the best friend she has ever had. In my opinion, she misses you and you guys is friendship. All of these other chicken here she's bringing around the family is not working out." I shrugged.
" that's on her, but I am definitely going to take your apology into consideration. I will get back to you, but overall, I appreciate you taking accountability. I would have liked a more specific apology, I feel like somehow it turned into me forgiving your daughter. But I greatly appreciate it and I will deal with it when I feel it is suitable for me, or I feel like it."
"Oh, oh okay." Her face of confusion and quickly turn to understanding. "Okay." She hopped up off the bed, and I am nodded.
I want my man, a bitch is a little tipsy. For the first time, I was sipping my wine and helping my mom cook. We were laughing and just talking about life, we got deeper into the conversation of Joshua. I'm genuinely having a good time with my mom. I just wish Macy was here so we could all get along, but she hasn't been feeling good for a couple of days now. She is back at my place right now, I feel Safer with her at my place so I can help her out
As I walk with downstairs, the front door opened, and some girl walked in.
"Hello." I greeted her.
"Hey I am Justice." I nodded but I was still confused. "Kaleb fiancé."
"Oh, well I am Amil."
Justice Reigns- @iamkaylanmarie
" I've heard so much about you." She smiled. "It's nice to finally me you."
"Same too you, you are really beautiful." She giggled.
"Thank you, you are as well. he should be in any second." I nodded.
" well make yourself comfortable, if you need anything you can speak with me or my mom or my dad. There is drinks and finger food out back, don't be scared. Take whatever you want." She laughed and nodded. "Take you shoes off and grab some house slippers, there's a lot of different sizes." She nodded. " if you want to take your purse off, you can, nobody steals here. Just put it on the rack." She nodded. "It was nice meeting you again." I waved and walked off.
I want my man! I'm too lit for the shit.
"Amil can we talk?" Dave walked up to me.
"About what?" I walked around him.
" About how you just dipped on me."
" it only took me having to blow your phone up all day with no response one time. I will never call you first again, you don't seem to be too worried about me your damn self." I rolled my eyes. " Don't you have a new girlfriend?"
" She's not my girlfriend."
" please, save the bullshit. I don't have time for." I walked through the dining room, I never realize how big in spacious this house was. " it's your life. I am not judging you. If you wanna go to like the easy way, it's understandable."
" what do you mean?"
" i'm too much for you, you can't walk over me. You can't handle not having control which is fucking stupid because every time you're in control something gets fucked up. if she likes it, that's on her. i'm not playing this game with you. I like consistency and you cannot provide that so it is what it is. I didn't like the program so I canceled it." I shrugged.
" that was a fucking joke... it really was." I shrugged and finally made my way into the kitchen and Josh and my mom were talking.
"Whatever you say." I waved him off.
Josh looked so fucking good right now.
"Amil don't be like-"
"David?"
" Mr. Ramirez." He sighed. " How are you doing?"
"Oh your David." Josh looked at me and I looked away. "Um I thought you were courting my daughter."
"Oop." My mom whispered.
"Sir?"
" Call me, Josh."
"Yeah um... welll..."
"You should go find my daughter." Dave laughed and nodded and walked out the room. "That's Dave?"
"Joshua." I whined and I paced back and forth.
"Hey Mrs. Walker." Kaleb Walked in and I made my way out back.
Too much shit is going on right now and I just want some dick. It's simple.
I sipped on my drink and sat down on the chair with my dad. I stared at the big screen and they were watching basketball. I don't even know what the fuck these teams are, but the guy throwing the ball was cute.
"You alright?" I nodded. " I wanna apologize about earlier. JR is right, I should've never asked any questions, once I heard that he disrespected you or made you uncomfortable that should've been it." He whispered.
" it's fine dad, you are very logical and rational so I expect you to ask questions. That's how you maneuver through intense situation. I am not mad at you." he nodded, and we sat in a silence and he tapped on me motioning for us to sign back and forth for privacy, and I nodded, understanding what he was saying.
"Josh really likes you." He signed. "Do you like him?" I looked at him. " I already talk to him about it, and I already connected the dots so there's no need to lie."
"Yes I like him." I signed.
"Do you feel safe with him? Has he ever tried to touch you or look at you when you were younger?"
"No." I frowned up my face and he looked up from my hands. " we have never spoke before, he was never around. He was always at work I'm guessing. I don't even think he knew me, he literally asked me my name four years ago, because he dropped me and Gia off to a party. He didn't know anything about me, and even then he wasn't paying attention to me. So I don't think it stems from some type of pedophilia. I know it doesn't." He looked at my face and he scanned me.
"Okay." He said without signing. " as long as you feel safe and you are genuinely happy. And you both have the purest intentions." I nodded. " do you plan on making it, What are your kids say today... Official?"
" I don't know, I don't think that deep into it." I signed and he nodded. "Joshua is an amazing person. He makes me happy. He makes my life exciting, he treats me very well. he shows me the finer things in life. He spoils me with love and affection, and laughter. Teaches me, and he guides me. He allows me to be who am and he except me. He doesn't make me scared to do nice things for him or with him or just overall enjoy his presence. I don't feel like there's no such thing as over, indulging in him."
"Do you guys have sex?" I couldn't control the facial expression and he started laughing.
" dead please use sign when you ask those questions." He laughed.
"Do you?" He sign
" matter fact, just don't ask those questions okay." I signed shaking my head and he laughed.
" I just wanna make sure that you are being safe, you are using protection, I also wanna make sure that you know that there are different types of intimacy rather than just sex." I nodded and he raise his hands close to his face so I can see his face expressions. " sex shouldn't be the only thing you have to offer a man. That's why I am asking, I just wanna make sure you guys have more in common than just sex."
" Well, when you put it like that, I can understand your curiosity. We do have sexual relations, I am pretty sure you already knew that you just wanna confirmation." I signed and he nodded. " we are grown, and we take very great care of ourselves. We make it a priority to protect ourselves and protect each other. We take the proper steps. I know that he wouldn't do anything to put me in harms way."
"Do you love him?"
"No." I spoke quickly before I could even think of a real answer. It's like my body had a reflex, and he laughed.
"You are in denial, you've been smiling this whole time but soon as that question pops up now you are all defensive. If you are in love with him, that's okay. I mean, of course the situation is strange, but it's alright to love him."
" the situation is not as strange as it may seem. It's only strange if you don't know what we know. I think it's just the fact that the way we met isn't your typical way?" I question my choice of words and he nodded. "I love him but I am not sure about in love with him." I laughed.
"Pops!" Kaleb walk outside.
Fuck him too, fuck everybody.
"Baby boy." They hugged eachother and I just focused on the tv.
"Mr. Walker." My dad get up and hugged him.
"It's been forever man." I held eachother for a second. "How have you been?"
" I've been good, me, and my lady. Just living life." He sighed. "I missed you."
" I owe you so much, I haven't got a chance to be a god dad." Kaleb laughed. " Before you leave here take my number."
"Will do." They hugged again. "Amillion?"
"Amil!" My mom called me I got up and made my way inside.
"Yes."
" Why have you been acting like you can't cook?" I looked at Joshua. " I took my time and I taught you."
" You are a snitch." I laughed. "Mom I don't act like I can't cook I just don't, do you see a ring on my finger? No." He laughed.
" Well, she does have a point." My mom laughed
" I cook for her."
"Really? Can you cook?" She found her face like she already knew the answer.
" Yes actually, he just got his own place so he cooked for me one time, one fucking time. Excuse me. but one time, I will cook for you. we just go out most of the time or order out most of the time. I have no real problem cooking for you."
"You will cook for me?" I nodded.
"Yes baby." My mom laughed. "What do you want?" I had to keep reminding myself that I can't touch him.
"I don't know, I am still shocked." they laughed. " you're just going to have to surprise me one night." He shrugged.
" what did you do to my daughter?" My mom laughed. "Who is this?" She felt my head.
"Daddy." I heard Gia's voice and he looked in her direction. "I have to go to the house really quick."
"Okay."
"Can I use your car." He pulled out his car keys and handed them to her. "Hey Momma Walker."
"Hello Gia." My mom shot her a flat smile.
"I missed you so much."
"Well..." my mom continued to cook.
Kaleb walked but in the Kitchen and I just ignored him while him and my mom had a whole conversation.
I want some dick.