I called Amil's phone for the hundred fucking time and she didn't pick up. This shit was pissing me off, but I know that I deserve it. I was way out of line. And she is right, every time Lulu make me mad I cannot take it out on her. That's not fair to her and I let my jealousy take over.
I know, I'm not blocked, all my messages go through, and she looks at them. She turned on her read receipts just to be fucking petty because they weren't on before. She is going to fuck around and make me act ass.
Lil tjay x 6LACK • calling my phone
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1milli steady calling my phone...📵
Theysee_Macy: you are the pettiest bitch to ever live.
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Random:I'm trying to motor boat 👨🏿🤚🏿
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Random: pretty! Pretty!
Random: yes titties❤️😍😘
The words in the song was like a ringing in my ear. It was really pissing me off.
"East." I looked up and dapped up smiley. "What's wrong? She still not answering your calls."
"She is fucking with me." I shook my head and lit a blunt.
"What's going on man, she really got you in your feelings. I ain't never seen you this down bad." I shrugged.
"I can stop thinking about her. She is so amazing." I laughed at memories of her and he laughed. "Damn man."
"You in love or something nigga?" I shook my head.
"It's not that deep." I sighed and pulled from blunt. "This shit crazy. I just miss talking to her."
"It's only been a month." I shook my head.
" that doesn't seem like a long time to you?" He shook his head and it registered that we really haven't talked in a month. "Damn that's fucked up." I frowned up my face.
"Your anniversary coming up soon, wasn't her and her sister talking about coming down for her sister's birthday."
" yeah but that don't mean that she gonna come see me or speak to me. I just feel like I should just take the trip. She's obviously trying to get me mad." I looked at him and he laughed. "I am not playing." I laughed
"She got you hooked." I shook my head. "Take that trip if that what you wanna do."
"Okay well, that obviously means that she is ready to fix you guys's relationship." I pointed out.
" I just don't want to get excited about it and then we end up at square one. Like you say, I deserve happiness too."
" Josh, the both of you deserve happiness, you weren't the only one that was threw into an arranged marriage. You say that she married you for the money, but did she really have a choice. She might as well find something that would benefit her to motivate her to go through with it. I don't know anything about arranged marriages, but it's hard on the both of you." He sighed. " Seemed so in love."
" Seemed, is the right word." He sighed. " I don't know man."
" you don't have to know everything, just be present. You owe it to yourself, find your happiness in the chaos." Before he couldn't even finish his first word. "And no, it cannot be me..." he laughed.
" what do you be reading my mind?" I laughed.
" no, you are just predictable."
" no but seriously maybe this can be good." I smiled at his words.
"See that is the right attitude."
"I mean-"
"Shut up please, you are going to make this friendship thing hard." We laughed. "I am a mentor and a real guide for you. I'm like-"
"You my mentor?"
" yes, I am giving great advice." I laughed. " I am helping you better your life, isn't that the whole point of a mentor."
"I guess baby."
"Stop." There was a knock at my door. "Okay get off my phone because I think my sister is here."
"Okay, tell her I said hey."
"Okay, stay safe Joshua."
"Thank you, same to you. I love you." I rolled my eyes.
"Bye..." I hung up and hopped and pulled up the sleeves to my sweater.
David company makes some very comfortable sweaters. I gotta go get me another one, I just gotta make sure he's not there.
It's been a month and I still haven't talk to his ass. I don't give a fuck how many times he call a day. Fuck him. I said it and I meant it.
I opened the door and he stood there holding flowers and I covered my face.
He is so cute.
"Awe David." I looked up at him and he looked so adorable. "This is so nice." I covered my smile with the inside of my arms and he smiled.
"I am sorry." He held out the flowers.
"You are so stupid." I took them and hugged him. "You are so fucking stupid." He bent down and I wrapped my arms around his neck and I hugged him and he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him.
"You are welcome baby." I kissed him.
"I hate you so much." I peaked his lips repeatedly and he sat down on the couch.
"Really?"
"No." I sighed. "I don't hate you."
"I know, I love you too." I guess he laughed at the discomfort on my face. "I know."
"Sorry." I covered my face.
"No I am sorry, I was way out of line. You didn't deserve that at all, you have never gave me that energy. Just because I'm mad does it mean I get to come over here and take it out on you. I do look for you to fix all my problems because I just want you to. I want you to fix my problems, but that doesn't mean you can. It's not fair to put all of that weight on you. You're not responsible for my happiness." I nodded and he seemed sincere. " I will never approach you like that again, well, I can't promise because seeing you with other motherfuckers just makes me so fucking angry. And I know that you don't belong to me but just the thought of somebody else touching you makes my fucking skin crawl. I hate that shit. But I would never disrespect you again, I can promise you that."
" David... You cannot talk to me like you don't like me or you hate me because something upset you. It makes me feel like you don't like me as much as you claim. I don't ask much of you and I don't expect much of you, but please don't make me feel like that again. Your words really bothered me because I did feel like you thought I was a whore and I was fucking everybody. It took me a week to get over what you say, and even though it may have seen small to you, it really bothered me."
"I am sorry."
" Then I woke the fuck up and realize I was a bad bitch" we laughed. " no but honestly I had to realize that I can't help what you think about me. Whether you really feel like that or you don't, I cannot prove to you that I am not doing that. Quite frankly, I don't care to, I know the truth and that is the most important thing. I can't sit around and dwell on your personal thoughts or problems." He nodded.
" I sincerely apologize, I know you are a good girl. I know that you know what you are doing. I just got mad. I let my emotions heart. I have to realize that that shit is not gonna fly with everybody. I gotta come at you differently." I nodded and held eye contact with him. "I know you ain't fucking around, and I believe everything that you said about him being your guy best friend. Your past with him has nothing to do with me. I am so sorry that I overstepped. I am not going to lie when you confirmed that you guys used to mess around, that shit killed me on the inside, that shit made me automatically go into a defensive mode and I felt as if I was defending myself. But I'm the one who upset myself. So I was just shooting out any insults that I can think of but still trying to keep it respectful. I was walking a thin line and I felt myself falling off. The angrier I got the less I could control myself and it should have never got to that point."
" my intentions were never to come off rude or hurt your feelings. I honestly wanted to know why did you wanna know so bad. I am very close off of all my sex life, unless you're Macy or Kaleb." We laughed softly. " he was my first boyfriend I can say, he took my virginity we never really put a title on it because of me. But we both know what the fuck was going on. We liked each other from fifth grade all the way up to... I don't even know when or if we stopped. He is an amazing guy, but I can't be what he needs me to be. I keep finding myself in Situationships where I only get half of somebody to give half. Because I only got half of myself to give, so it works out for everybody in the end." I shrugged. " I feel like I am really hard on men because I always grew up the plus size girl. I always was the butt of the joke or deal or bet. I just been through a lot when it came to guys and I always vowed that I wouldn't let a guy dominate me and ruin my life or mental. That's how I got here. And I still vow to put myself first. getting back on my good side isn't ever going to be this easy again. And you do with that information what you want to do with that information." He nodded and somebody knocked on the door and I got up and sat the flower carefully on the counter.
I opened the door and Macy squealed and I hugged her.
" I miss you so fucking much, how was Vegas?"
"My nigga getting money now." She squealed and I laughed.
"David is here." Her eyes widened. " he can go in the room or some thing." I pulled her in.
"Hey Dave."
"Wussup twin?" He got up and hugged her.
"Dave me and my sister scheduled this night for our catch up night. So we need you to..." I search for a nice way to say get the fuck out. "So get the fuck out of our way basically." He laughed and nodded. " you can go in the room and watch TV or something, don't listen to close because we will be talking shit about you." He laughed.
"What? I just fixed it."
"I know... awe... but you still did it. Now get out of our way bye." Macy laughed and he kissed me and Macy coed and I rolled my eyes and waved as he walked in the room and closed to door and I instantly showed her the flowers and she squealed and we jumped up and down.