(Bit of a trigger warning for this one. Anxiety, and panic attacks.)
The party was in full swing with students dancing around, dressed in their fanciest clothes in the Hogwarts ballroom. It was bustling with activity, and despite it being past 11pm, everyone was full of energy.
That was, everyone except James.
James had already had a busy day with quidditch, potions, and other social interactions throughout the day. He made it halfway through the ball before slinking off into the corner to sit down and watch the others dance.
Sirius watched as his best friend disappeared into the shadows. He knew to keep a close eye, but he also knew James' social battery was probably low and he needed a break from the noise and people.
What Sirius didn't notice was his little brother Regulus, in another corner of the room, pale and sweaty.
Regulus, who barely had a social battery to begin with, was done with this social function and done with the swarming crowd of students.
James watched amused from his corner as teenagers got a little too daring, a little too close, and we're quickly reprimanded by Professor McGonagall.
Regulus couldn't focus on anything. The lights were too bright and the music too loud...he could feel himself start to lose his grip.
Meanwhile, James spotted Regulus from across the room. His best friends little brother, who was dark and mysterious, and undeniably handsome. But he didn't look too confident right now.
James managed to cut through the crowd and get to Regulus.
"Reg? You okay?"
All Regulus could do was shake his head and grab at his chest, attempting to take a deep breath.
James kicked into action, leading Regulus out of the ballroom with ease. They stopped in the quiet hall, a fair distance away from the crowded dance. The music thrummed much softer now and Regulus could hear himself think.
He could hear himself think just enough to be self conscious about James freakin' Potter seeing him like this. Weak. Needy. Regulus was still fighting to take a deep breath, sliding down the wall and onto his ass, knees tucked up to his chest.
James ran a hand through his hair before shoving them back in his pockets. "Are you alright?"
Regulus shook his head again.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Once again, Regulus shook his head.
James slowly slid down the wall besides Regulus, setting a hand in his knee.
Regulus focused on the warmth from James' hand, keeping his hand splayed on his chest and attempting to slow his breathing.
Eventually, Regulus managed to calm down enough to get a full breath. That's when the embarrassment set it.
Regulus quickly stood up, brushing James off and clearing his throat.
"All right?" James asked cautiously.
Forever cool and collected, James freakin' Potter. Regulus felt the heat rise to his face. He nodded in response and started down the hall.
"Reg, wait!" James called after him, his voice concerned. That only aggravated Regulus more.
"Piss off James," Regulus snapped, continuing down the hall without turning around.
"You had a panic attack Reg! You really wanna go back to that party?"
Regulus stopped short. No. No he didn't. But he also didn't want to admit James was right so he opened the door to the room and stepped back into the loud environment.
Within ten minutes, Regulus was back out in the hall, breathing hard and using the wall to support himself.
James, who was previously leaning against the wall by the window and smoking a cigarette, quickly rushed to Regulus' aid.
"Alright bud...all right now. Deep breaths."
Regulus reached for the lit cigarette in James' hand and James sighed, handing it over. Regulus inhaled and coughed, hitting his chest.
"Don't tell your brother I let you smoke," James ordered quietly.
Regulus inhaled again and blew out a cloud of smoke before handing the cigarette back to James. James took another drag before dropping it outside the window. The rain would extinguish it quickly.
When James turned back to Regulus, the younger boy had his eyes closed and his hands balled up at his side.
"Regulus. Open your eyes."
Regulus shook his head in response, squeezing his eyes shut tighter.
"Reg. You're okay. Open your eyes." James' tone was gentle and he took a step closer to Regulus.
Regulus was shaking like a leaf, eyes squeezed shut and hands balled at his side. His stance was rigid. James' heart ached.
"Reg. Hey, you're safe. You're okay," James whispered, taking another step closer.
"No. No, no, no," Regulus repeated softly, backing himself up against the wall.
"Regulus. I'm gonna set my hands on your shoulders, okay?"
Regulus didn't answer, but he didn't pull away. James set his hands on Regulus' shoulders, keeping that little bit of pressure there to keep Reg grounded.
Regulus flinched at the contact but relaxed a bit. He kept his eyes closed.
"I don't feel good," he mumbled, grabbing James' shirt suddenly.
"What's wrong Reg? Is it your stomach? Your chest?" James kept his quiet tone, standing firm so Regulus had something to rely on.
Regulus mumbled in response. "I feel...hot," he managed.
It didn't escape James' notice how pale Regulus had grown. Knowing this all too well, James shifted his weight to make his stance for sturdy.
"Okay Reg. Okay. I'm here. You're okay."
Regulus' legs folded under him and he collapsed into James' arms.
James had enough strength from quidditch to support Regulus' weight as he lowered them both to the ground. Cautiously, he layed Regulus' head on his lap, watching Reg's chest rise and fall.
James brushed the hair off Regulus' forehead and rubbed his hand on Regulus' chest, over his lungs. This stirred Regulus and his eyes slowly fluttered open.
He started to sit up immidiantly but was quickly forced back down by James.
"Easy. Easy," James ordered firmly, keeping his hand in Regulus' chest.
Regulus felt the warmth on his chest, breathing heavily and looking up at the ceiling. "Deep breaths, okay Reg?"
"Okay," Reg managed, taking deep breaths. The color slowly came back to his face and James smiled a bit, laying his head back against the wall.
After a few moments, he allowed Regulus to sit back up. Regulus sat himself against the wall next to James, his cheeks pink.
"Uh...sorry about that," Regulus muttered apologetically.
James sighed. "I used to have them too, Reg."
Regulus jerked his head up from where his eyes were trailed on the floor. "What?"
"Panic attacks. I used to have them too."
Regulus regarded James suspiciously. "You?"
"Yes Reg. They got to a really bad point fifth year. I was afraid to leave the dorm. I haven't had one in a year and a half."
"How?" Regulus asked softly, not looking at James.
"Support from my friends. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It gets better. I swear."
"You can't know that," Regulus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"You're right. But I'll be here when out need help."
"You can't tell anyone about this, James."
"I won't. Your secret is safe with me."
(1200 words. I thought y'all were too good with the fluff;) Have some sad stuff. This kind of hurt to write.
-T)