I'm walking to my door, aware of the fact Jimin is waiting for me in there.
I'm not sure why I did that.
Well, I know damn well why.
Because I still love him.
I don't have a key so I can't go inside, I have to knock.
Feels weird knocking on my own door.
I knock a few times and I hear the door open.
He just stands there for a few seconds before I speak.
'May I come in?' I ask giving him a weak smile
He scoffs and gives me a smile before moving aside.
'Do you want some tea?' I ask him.
'Yes, please.' he answers sitting down on the couch.
It always felt like that couch spot is his. He always sat there. Except he used to look more relaxed. Right now, he looks tense.
I put down the tea and sit across from him.
'You can relax, I don't bite.' I try to make him feel more welcome but Chim Chim seems to like him a bit too much. He jumped on the couch and climbed on Jimin, trying to eat his hoodie sleeve.
'I never promised he wouldn't bite.'
He looks at me and finally laughs a bit.
'Finally, there you are.' I tell him, relieved he's smiling again.
'You're the one that's almost gone.' he says to me, hoarse voice 'And it's all my fault.' he looks down at Chim Chim chewing on him.
'I never thought it was your fault. I knew what was bound to happen. You said so yourself, there was no future for us. Plus the difference in the feelings didn't help.' I explain and he seemed to be paying attention even if he wasn't looking at me.
'How bad?' That's the only thing he said.
'How bad what?' I ask.
'How bad did I hurt you?' He says choking on his words.
'You didn't hurt me, I hurt myself. I fell in love with you all in my own.' he widened his eyes after I said the last part, but I just continued
'Even after you told me not to. Repeatedly. And I begged you to lie to me. And you did, even though you warned me. But I don't regret you. I don't regret loving you.'
'You still didn't tell me. How bad?' He looks up at me his hands shaking
I sighed, knowing he won't give up until I tell him
'I hurt myself pretty bad. I didn't sleep for the first few weeks. I forgot to eat a lot of the time. I couldn't listen to the music for- well I still don't listen to it much. I wondered a lot about you and how you were doing. I checked in on you from time to time, and was happy to see you look happy. That made me feel a bit better. The fact you were okay pushed me onwards'.
He looked at me, broken, eyes swelling up with tears repeatedly mumbling 'It's my fault. It's my fault. It's all my fault... '
'Jimin, I meant what I said. I don't regret loving you. If I knew the outcome would be this, I would do it all over again.' I try to reassure him and for a second contemplate holding his hand, but decide against it.
'Will you ever be able to forgive me?' He asks crying. Tears rolling down those perfectly sculpted cheekbones, down to his gorgeously molded lips, trickling over his bottom lip.
'Nothing to forgive you for. You've done nothing but try to protect me. But you can't protect me from myself.' I tell him.
'So you don't hate me?' He asks again sniffling
'No, Jimin. I love you.' I tell him honestly, no point hiding it now
He stops crying and is just staring at me. I'm not even sure if he's breathing
'You.... love me?' He repeats after me
'Yes. I can say it now. You don't need to feel guilty or tell me not to say it. I'm not gonna ask you to lie to me or pretend you feel the same. You can't change my feelings any more than I can.' I smile at him then continue 'I thought I would be the crying mess, but it seems we swapped.' I try to joke and it works as he laughs a bit.
'I was afraid you'd never want to see me again, afraid you'd loathe me. And I deserve it so I would have no reason to blame you.' he explains, now calmed down, wiping his face.
'Nope. I could never hate you.' I tell him smiling at him
'I do have a question for you.' I continue
'Shoot.' he says
'Would you like to be friends? And if I ever cross the line, tell me and I'll back off.' I offer him my hand
He laughs at my idiocy and shakes my hand 'Nice to meet you, I'm Jimin.' then flashes me a beautiful smile
Nothing much changed, his touch still drives me crazy. Just a handshake is enough to make me blush. And I can't help but smile back at him. I have missed that smile.
'Now, friend, are you hungry?' I ask him feeling ecstatic he's actually here once again.
I see his mind is running in circles, not sure if it's a smart idea.
'I have an idea.' I tell him 'Call one of the boys to open the apartment doors.'.
I write down a little note in a piece of paper saying "Free food across the hall" and attach it to Chim Chim's collar.
Jimin is watching me and then he burst out laughing 'You're an idiot.' he says laughing
'Shush, it will work!' I tell him
I bring Chim Chim to the door and Jimin follows .
'Okay, call someone to open.'
He is still laughing but he does as I ask and pulls out his phone
It rings for a second then the line picks up 'Hobi hyung, do me a favour and open the door.' then he hangs up.
The plan goes accordingly. As soon as they opened the door, Chim Chim ran straight in, under J-hope's feet.
You could hear the boys getting surprised by a small fluffy boy running in, they all tried to catch him around.
It all went quiet for a second before all 6 of them popped out, with Yoongi carrying Chim Chim in his arms.
'Free food?' He asks holding the note.
Me and Jimin were both on our knees under my doorframe from where we let Chim Chim loose.
'Told you it's gonna work.' I lightly push him and he falls back on his butt laughing.
'Yeah, yeah, you were right. Now help me up!' He says laughing as he stretches out his arm.
They all looked relieved to see the two of us laughing together.
'Finally.' Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief.
After they all came inside I made us some dinner, with Jin helping out. He's quite a chef.
We all say down all over the living room and started eating.
'I don't wanna kill the mood, but I'm curious. What is this?' Namjoon asks pointing his chopsticks between me and Jimin.
Jimin had his mouth full so I answered instead.
'Long story short; I love him. We're friends.' I smile at him as I put a bite in my mouth.
J-hope almost chokes on his food, with Namjoon also coughing in duet with him.
Yoongi replies 'You guys are weird.' and continues eating unbothered.
Jin says 'Kids..' stuffing his mouth full as well.
'Shut up.' Jimin complains obviously blushing.
Situation changed quickly seeing how Chim Chim ran in the middle of the room peeing on the carpet.
'Chim Chim!' I yell and he runs away and climbs on Jimin, hiding under his arms.
'I'll save you buddy.' says Jimin in a cute voice and turns himself into a shield for Chim Chim.
'Big Chim Chim, give back small Chim Chim or both of you puppies are in timeout.' I tell Jimin and he just sticks out his tongue out at me turning around so I can see Chim Chim anymore.
Everyone starts laughing at the situation.
'Ugh, I give up. He's all yours.' I tell him, tired of their cuteness.
'We won the battle Chim Chim!' Yells Jimin holding up the puppy playing with him, when Chim Chim starts peeing again, right on him.
'Oh but you lost the war.' I tell him choking on my tears, laughing.
The room errupts with laughter, with Jin and J-hope being their chaotic self.