I finished getting ready sorts early. I went to go check on Ellie and she was sleep. "Jules?" I turned around and saw jovian. I was a bit confused that he was talking to me now..
"Uh yeah?" I tucked a loose curl behind my ear.
" You look nice." Then he walked away. These mood swings are confusing. It's either his mood or he's passed out somewhere.
Before I left I gave Val a bunch of kissed and hugs. She cried a bit when it was time for me to leave.
I pulled at the short skirt. Bailey insisted on driving. "Your outfit is so hot! What did Jovian say about it?" I shrugged. "Does it matter what he say, this night is about fun right?"
Bailey looked at me giving a wide smile. "Of course"
♥︎♡︎♥︎
This was a typical club.. nothing special. Just a little more hectic than usual. The bartender kept staring at me which creeped me out.. a lot.
"Wanna dance?" I turn around and see a guy standing there in a dress shirt and slacks. If I didn't know any better he looks like he got a wife and kids.
Also I'm still with jovian so likee... I'm not going to cheat or do anything stupid.
But it is just dancingg... I mean he's been so close with Izzy I wouldn't he surpised if they've kissed or more at this point.
But he is going through something.
The guy noticed the hesitation on my face. "At least let me buy you a drink" I looked around hesitantly.
"Ok.. fine" as he pulled out his wallet I scanned his fingers and I didn't see a ring.. not that it matters.
He ordered a whiskey. I mean I'm not complaining or anything but that kinda give his whole age thing away. "so what're you doing here tonight?" He asked rolling up his sleeves to his elbow.
I shrugged "Just needed to get away. How about you?"
"Something like that" he smiled.
When we finished our first round of drinks we got shots. Now I feel a little more loose and comfortable. "You're one of the most interesting strangers I've met"
I laughed "How so?"
"You look lost but like you've got it all figured out at the same time."
"If anything I should be questioning if your going to kill me or not" I raised my eyebrow at him taking a sip of my drink.
"Perhaps I might. How'd you come to that conclusion?"
"You're wearing a dress shirt and slacks at a club... does that sound normal to you?"
He chuckled "Just got off of work." He looked down at my hands fiddling with the rim of my glass. "Are you married?"
My eyes shot down to the promise ring.. how do three weeks just change everything? Will we ever be what we once were? I mean it went to I love you to fuck off real fast.
"Shit! I'm sorry" he handed me a napkin and I was confused till I felt a wet drop hit my hand. I'm crying, great.
"I'm actually sorry" I grabbed a napkin laughing. "Everything's just got so difficult that I'm sitting here in a club talking to a stranger."
He placed his hand on top of mine taking the napkin. "it's okay if you want to rant or something. I mean I'm here for a while anyways" he used the napkin to dap
Up some of my tears. This doesn't feel right yet the attention feels perfect.
Great now I'm a attention seeking whore.
I told him some faint things about what's been going on. Very faint remembering that jovian is kinda famous so I can't just spill my guts to a stranger. I didn't tell him a name as I gave very little details.
"That must be a lot on you"
"I owe it to him. He's been there to many times for me and I just feel like if I walk away I would be letting him down."
"I can't really tell you what to do. But I can tell that you're struggling with this a lot. But at least when you were going through your shit you went to him, he's ignoring you and going to someone else."
Yeah no shit. But it's selfish of me to be like hey look at me and my pain. When his mom just died.
We ordered more drinks and went back to talking to each other like complete strangers I didn't just spill my guts out to .
"Let's dance" I got a sudden rush of adrenaline. I took his hand in mine and led him out to the dance floor. I laughed as he twirled me around. Definitely not on beat.
Placing his hands on my hips as he swayed us around. My skirt had ridden up to my upper thigh. I pulled my skirt down as I danced around foolishly with stranger guy.
He held my hand as he spinner me around.. this time it didn't end so pretty... I stumbled back gagging I spotted a trash can nearby and I ran to it but only by a second I threw up on myself.
"Holy shit!" I just realized how much of a british accent he has.
♥︎♡︎♥︎
And that's how I ended up sitting on the bathroom floor with stranger guy.
"Dammit this costed seventy dollars" that's just the shirt it's self.
"Here just put this on" he handed me his dresss coat. I brought my knees up to my chest not caring if I'm wearing a skirt or not.
"I can't show up at home with another man clothes on"
"My place is right around the corner. I could go get something more suitable if you want?"
I looked at him "you're really nice stranger guy" I waited "I feel guilty for being out an-"
"Having fun? Stranger girl. You should never feel bad about doing something for yourself."
I smiled as I took the coat. I went into a bathroom stall and changed. "Tonight was crazy, do you by chance have any slides or house shoes?" These heels are killing me. I took them off revealing my socks. The heels didn't show any part of my feet so I put socks on.
He laughed "I'll come prepared next time"
I got out of the stall tossing my messed up top in the trash. "Thank you" I gave him a slight smile.
By now Bailey was long gone. Where?'I don't know."weird favor" I laughed awkwardly "could you take me home?"
He laughed "Of course" he said with a thick British accent.
During the car ride we talked about the songs his radio was playing. I never heard of them. He says they're mostly popular in the uk.
When we pulled into the driveway of the house. "Thank you for tonight." I gave him a smile. He smiled back at me slightly leaning in. I was stroke frozen as he placed a kiss on my cheek.
"You're welcome love" I laughed.
"Don't do that" I shook my head leaning my head back. He tilted his head innocently. "Do what?"
"Flirt with me, I'm not available"
He chuckled "Ok. Night Mate" he said as I got out the car. I sighed as I opened the front door. My heart dropped. Izzy and jovian on the couch together.. making out. My eyes fell to the table where drugs and other white substances laid. She smiled at me a wicked smile. Her whole frame was covering his.
My heels made a noise as I threw them on the floor making him jump up.
He look like he was barely conscious but hopped up when he saw me. His eyes were bloodshot red and he had heavy bags under his eyes. I dropped my bag and my heels. "Jules- I'm" I ran upstairs. I grabbed one of my bags and started stuffing clothes in there. I heard his rapid foot steps behind me.
"I told myself it was nothing" I stuffed more clothes in a bag. "I trusted you with my daughter" I went into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush. "and you're doing drugs? What the fuck!" I threw everything into a bag.
I look him in his eye, he was barely holding on. "I love you.. but I can't stay here. Fuck Jo you were doing drugs with my kid in the house and- you were with Izzy??"
"Don't leave me" he needs help that I can't give him. He grabbed on to my hand to stop me. "Please don't leave me" he cried as he brought me into him holding me close so I can't move.
"Please" I bit my lip stopping the sobs from coming out.
"Jovian stop" I whispered my voice breaking.
You know the feeling of a hard weight dropping on your chest. Like you can't breathe, ans you just want to let it all out. That's how I feel.
"I promise I'll change"
I closed my eyes harshly at the words I've heard before.
"Fucking stop!" I used all of my strength to push him off of me. "Stop! I can't do this anymore. I can't and I tried and I tried. And you're sleeping with her? Jovian I'm tired, okay? These past cdays I've been suffering and I know this isn't about me? I don't care I would stay suffering if it would help you. You're treating me like one of the worst men in my life"
I wiped my tears "I love you alot more than I have ever loved anyone but I can't jovian I cant. This promise you gave me?" I took off the ring "Is a bunch of bullshit." I put it in the dresser. I got my bags and stormed out of the room to Val room.. she was sleeping in her bed.
I picked her up into my arms and grabbed bag and some clothes and I left.
When we got in the car I allowed myself to cry. With each tear that fell I found myself crumbling up. I went to a hotel and booked us a hotel for tonight. val stayed asleep as I laid her down on the bed while I took a shower.
I closed my eyes as more tears fell. Fuck I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. I just can't-
Everytime I close my eyes I see them two together. I see the drugs on the table. And I see jovian begging and crying for me not to leave.
I pulled at the ends of my hair in frustration. I finished up my shower and took off my mascara that was smeared. I put my bonnet on and was ready for bed.
♥︎♡︎♥︎
The funeral was today. Bailey offered to watch Valeria while I'm at the funeral and I think that was a great idea.
I parked my car by the service as they wanted it to be outside. I already see Jovian and Ellie sitting up front with conjoined hands. I might be a bit late because Valeria was having to many tantrums this morning.
Walking up I took a seat in the back. I saw ellie turn and look at me sending me a quick wave. She did a hand gesture for me to come up there and sit with them. I shook my head giving her a smile. The service was really beautiful I cried a lot. Then it was jovian turn to speak. He looked a bit better from yesterday but you could tell he was still out of it.
The sleeves of his dress shirt was rolled up revealing some of his tattoos. He's wearing dress pants and sneakers. "I thought I could do this.... But I can't. Every time ive had problems or needed help I always went to my moms because she was there no matter what-" I looked at his shaking hand.
The rest of his speech was him stumbling over his words and him taking breaks in between speaking. Eventually he looked up at everyone face and saw the pity, and he snapped.
He stopped speaking mid sentence before he just walked away.
Ellie looked back at me motioning her head towards him.
When everyone was done speaking and we still haven't saw jovian I started to get worried. Everyone was standing around drinking and having fun and eating and laughing like someone didn't just die.
Ellie approached me. "Jules I know what happened last night and I'm so sorry he did that. If it helps this morning I talked to him and he told me what you saw wasn't how it was. When they heard you open the door Izzy grabbed his face and kissed him. He was on the verge of passing out."
"Ellie.. this doesn't change much I just yesterday-"
"Jules. Don't give up on my brother. I know he's a dickhead but he needs you and you need him. It's very clear. This morning I saw him flushing the drugs down the toilet. " so it to took me leaving to be an eye opener?
"That's good ellie it really is"
"But it's not enough? I get it.. " she gave me a smile before she walked away.
I turned around to look at the scenery around me. I did a double take when I saw someone fimiliar. The guy I met last night.
He was talking to some of jovian grandma. Hell. No.
He was walking away from her, I quickened my pace as I walked over to him. "What're you doing here?" He was dressed in a expensive looking suit.
He looked shocked as he saw me. "Nice seeing you here love"
"Don't call me that"
"I'm here because I was invited. Celeste was an at home nurse for my grandmother.. I grew up around her and her kids."
I ran a hand down my face. "Great I thought you stalked me for a minute" I let a breath of relief.
"Let's go for a walk"
"Just for a little while.."
We started walking on the trail. "You remind me of my baby daddy... weird way to say it but you do" I met hades when I was in distress. Besides the fact he's white and have black hair and a couple subtle tattoos.
"Just in a more mature way"
"I would hope" he laughed "You have a urm kid?"
"Yep." I held my jacket closer to my body.
"Tell me more"
"I would but a lot of crazy shit has happened and I just don't want to go around telling everyone about my kid"
He nodded "make sense." He looked down at his watch like he's a busy man.
"Jovian!!" I heard ellie scream. I took off running in the direction of her echo. I didn't care if I was creasing my sneakers. I ran as fast as I could.
Jovian...
A/n
hey y'all this chapter was a lot to unpack. I realized jovian got baggage and I want to show some of that. If any of y'all didn't like Jules this chapter then get over it bc personally I feel like her actions are excused. Bc she's an attention seeking whore like me 🤭.
Have y'all ever broken a bone?