*Includes chapter recap*
I finally pull my sweatshirt over my head, but Silas takes his time pulling his eyes off me. My pulse pounding in my ears, I watch him slide his hands into his pockets.
"Don't think of me as a fallen angel Catalina. I'm nothing like it."
Before I can reply, Silas steps closer. Watching me like he wants to mark my skin with his gaze. It feels raw, unkind, yet something about it is gentle.
It sounds ridiculous.
"Women think they can change me...." He starts. "Even my mother tried before she ended up at the bottom of the Pacific."
My palms gather trying to control the clenching of my heart. I don't have to give in, I can easily walk away - but he's just so tall, hard and tormented.
And I'm trying to hate him for it but I'm weak. My eyes drop to his hands, and then to the ground. What the hell is wrong with?
"Catalina." My name hits me like a rough echo, his fingers tilting my face to meet warm, mischievous eyes. "I'm warning you. I won't change."
It takes me a minute to process his deep words. I'm too distracted by the shiver of satisfaction breaking over my skin with the brush of his thumb against my
jaw.
This man really knows how to control someone with just his fingers. I hate him.
"You're a strong believer in not changing for other people."
"And you're a strong believer in the opposite."
In an action too sudden, my face inches close to his.
"You need to be humbled." I say slowly, Devilry gleaming in his eyes and daring me to come closer. Being in his face brings more thrill to me than I ever thought, especially when his eyes darken.
"Do it."
Tension grows loud around my ears.
Chests heaving. Pulse breaking. The door flies open. "I'm heading to the club, I need to get laid." Renzo stops and darts his eyes between me and Silas, before we casually separate.
"There's a club here?" I ask, brushing my fingers against the side of my neck. Its so hot, somebody must have lit a fire.
Renzo pulls out his earphone and stares at me like I'm an idiot.
"The city is fifteen minutes from here, Catalina." He scoffs, spinning on his heels before he's gone. I glance at Silas, this time with a much weaker pulse but he's already on his way to the door.
Before walking out, he slows and looks over his shoulder. The fire in his eyes is gone, replaced by a hollow look of indifference. "There are five guards around the lodge. Call me if something goes wrong."
So he's going too? I cross my arms, even more irritated now. "I don't have your number."
"Check again."
I don't have time to respond to him before he walks out. Wait, he went into my phone?
I plop onto the edge of the bed, sliding my shoes against the wooden floor. This is so unfair. He could leave and sleep with whoever he wants but I'm locked in here?
My head falls onto the mattress, sheeted in fresh, Egyptian fabric. I don't know why I'm annoyed,
but him leaving to get laid only makes me want a man to have with me in front of him.
There's a dinner tomorrow. I can only hope there's a hot Russian hunk waiting for me.
——————
The bed was cold until the sun rose to its brightest. Until there was a dip in the mattress and the faint scent of whiskey and cologne.
This morning I didn't need an alarm. Renzo complained so loudly about his hangover from across the one-floored lodge, I woke up within seconds. That man does not care who hears him.
Its a wonder what I'm doing here outside with him.
"What the-" ice slams against his cheek. He wipes it and drops on his haunches, determined to gather more snow to hit me back.
I laugh, spinning and watching the naked trees wrap around me. Snowflakes float down like little feathers, being carried away with the smallest gust of wind.
Occasionally, I find myself looking at the lodge windows. The thought of why churns in my stomach with uncertainty, and a little anger.
I wonder if Silas is awake. If he is, he'd be seen through the windows.
"You've gotta slow down for me." Renzo breathes, breaking me out of my thoughts. He looks like a kindergartener, on his knees shovelling snow into his palms. "I'm turning into Olaf here."
"Oh I'm not slowing down, I'm on a roll here." I swallow down the turmoil that comes with thinking about Silas Cavallaro and throw another snowball at Renzo.
He needs to learn how to make snowballs. I watch him struggle for a while, but when he conquers, he makes a collection.
And I duck every single one of them.
Finally giving up, he sighs and plays with the last snowball. "So what is the deal with you."
"What deal?"
"Little Miss damsel in distress?"
"I am not a damsel in distress."
"Mmhmm." He raises a brow. "How long you been locked up before this marriage?"
One sentence, and my expression dies.
"You know about that?"
"Everyone does."
"What do they say about me?" The gloom in my chest grows like a disease, getting stronger time I remember what my past had held. I try to move on, but it's hard when everything I do screams how sheltered I've been.
I'm used to living with stone cold men. My Papa wasn't exactly...warm. I was only a collectible to him, kept away in my home and never allowed to leave. The only time he did remember me was when it was time for marriage - when it'd benefit him.
Renzo eyes his snowball like its a dart and then throws it at the lodge like he's playing cricket.
"Everything. No offence signora, but it's not like you give people a reason to not talk about you."
"What? What do you mean?"
"Do you really want me to say it?"
I shake my head, but he looks like he's struggling to speak now. He glances at the lodge, sighs, then looks back at me.
"You're too nice."
What?!
Seeing how fast my face tightens, he bares his teeth like he's afraid he offended me. "Ah don't worry. Nice people are important in this world, if they aren't too busy getting trampled on."
Trampled?
I let out a tense sigh and cross my arms. He's right. I always knew it inside, I'd just never heard it aloud. Now that I have, I can only think of fixing it.
And who else to go to than the most diabolical man in the country?
~Silas POV~
Its getting worse.
I screwed myself over with all of this. There's no doubt in what I'm doing, I still want blood, I still want to make Leone suffer - but I really shouldn't have picked Catalina fucking Alvarez to use.
I play with the ring in my palm. Nobody has ever challenged me like she does. All innocent and self-righteous. I wanted to break her, mould her...for Xavier. But I'm nowhere near it.
Squinting through the kitchen window, my fist clenches, more seeing how fast Renzo's gotten cushy with my wife.
Wife.
A laugh sounds from behind the glass pane and I step closer to the counter. No jacket. Fucking hell, the woman's gonna get ill again.
She thinks coming from Colombia means she's invincible to everything. Miles of tan skin hold me still. A blue vest. Pearl earrings. Hair pulled away from her neck.
My chest rises high in an inhale, before tearing my eyes off the sight. Nothing is ever wrong in my world, but this - this is beyond wrong. I don't think of Catalina like that.
She's judgemental, a pain in the ass. And she only cares about money. I have to remind myself, she's only a means to getting what I want, payback on Leone. That's it.
"Shit." Renzo shudders, rubbing his arms as he walks in. Catalina follows behind him. A red nose. Messy bun covered in snow.
I notice the icy flower lodged into the front of her curls, and when she stands in front of the counter to pull out a mug, I lose control and move near her.
My weapon needs reformation.
Catalina stirs chocolate powder into her milk, but slows when my side brushes hers. Close enough for our hands to almost touch. Enough for my skin to curl with anticipation.
I pull a glass out, extending an arm over her head to reach the cupboard. She eyes me suspiciously as I fill it with the coldest water, back myself up against the kitchen counter, and chug it in a second.
As she turns to toss her spoon in the sink, the flower in her hair gleams against daylight. For a second I have to hold myself down.
She's just a means of getting what I want, I tell myself again. But nothing stopped me from toying with people.
I pluck the flower from her hair, watching her mouth fall open. "Thats stealing." She declares like she expects me to put it back.
"Arrest me."
I pull the flower to my nose. It smells fucking terrible, but the look on her face is worth it.
Eyes narrowed, sparkling with something equally amused as it is troubled. I tuck the flower into my pocket and step back against the counter, staying for whatever it is that she's about to say.
After tossing her spoon in the sink, she wraps her hands around her mug, looking out the window before turning to me. "Teach me how to mean."
I feel my face go blank. "Why."
"I..." she glances away for a second. "I don't know."
I take a step forward, studying her body language from her shoes to her blinking eyes.
"Do you want people to fear you?"
"No?"
"Then ask me another question, like teaching you how to make hot chocolate."
She swallows, her lips parting to take short breaths. There's a sliver of a second where I see the saddest vulnerability in her eyes.
"I'm tired of letting people walk over me." It takes a moment for her tone to grow bitter. "Besides, you're the only person terrible enough to teach me."
"I teach you...you show me how to be good."
"Why?"
Because I'm horny and this is the only way to get it off my mind. Renzo had his needs fulfilled last night, I didn't. I sat at the side with a glass of whiskey the entire night, like a killjoy.
When Catalina realises she's not getting an answer, she sighs dramatically. "Fine. Deal." She furrows her brows and scans me. "And only if you promise to actually teach me. No eery comments about your plan for revenge....and none of that intense hair stroking you do. Deal?"
"Deal."
And she walks away, holding her cold hot chocolate and sipping it like it's coffee. That murk sinks inside of me the second the silence rolls in. It's a murk I've been too familiar with.
"There he is."
And then it breaks again.
"Ready for dinner with your wife?" Renzo continues, walking in with wet hair and opening the fridge. He pulls out a prepackaged meal.
"Speaking of, you couldn't have gotten a maid? You're going to a fancy dinner and leaving my ass with sandwiches." he holds it up. "Where the hell are the crusts?"
If he asked himself who prepared the sandwiches he'd know that the maid came this morning. I spin the ring around in my hand before tucking it into my pocket.
I cut the crusts off myself this morning, which brings me to the thought of what blade I'd take to the dinner.
Sharp enough to kill instantly. Blunt enough to cause pain.
"And what-"
"Shut the fuck up for a second, I'm thinking."
Leone isn't gonna know what's coming for him. First I took Catalina from him, and now his friends too. I pick up the glass nearest to me, throwing back whatever it is before grimacing.
"What the fuck?"
Renzo's sandwich chewing slows. "That's my vinegar solution, not your water fratello."