I cringe at her shocked face. "I wasn't planning on it; Kate found me outside and got upset because I was sleeping on your porch and it kind of became a thing after that," I start to ramble, but she cuts me off with a swift wave of her hand.
"Outside?"
"Yes," I confirm, "I made sure she is okay, and Nora wouldn't let me rest until I was close, you know... just in case. I'm sorry I never meant to sneak around and lie to you. But I didn't know what else to do."
She rubs her face and leans back. "So, you are telling me you sleep here every day?"
"Almost, yes. But you have to understand; I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't eat. Nora was driving me crazy. I am so sorry, Rose, but you can't blame me for being afraid or overly cautious. He scared all of you, especially her."
"He?"
With the same cold and dismissive vibe that my soul gets whenever I think of him, I say, "Richard."
"Richard? He was here months ago, months Ann. You have been doing this for months?"
"She is a bit slow today, isn't she?" But I hush Nora. I can't have her bullshit comments right now.
"It's not her fault," I say, "She never asked for this. She doesn't deserve to be treated like something is wrong with her. I know I should have ended things the day I found out, but I couldn't. How can it be wrong, Rose? She's... she's my mate. Why would the Moon Goddess give me something so precious and wonderful for people to call it a flaw in nature in her name?"
"Honey," Rose says in a hushed tone before rounding the table with long steps and squatting in front of me, taking my hands into hers. "It's okay."
And that's when I see it. Dark wet spots tint the light blue of my jeans. "It's not," I sob. When did I start crying? "I don't want her to feel anything less than perfect. She isn't an-" I take a shuttering breath, "She isn't an abomination."
"And neither are you," her voice is as gentle as her hands caressing my cheeks.
"That's not how people will think when they find out."
"They might surprise you. Not everyone is clinging to the old ways."
I huff, "My mother once told me she would rather have no child than such a disappointment."
As pained as Rose's expression is, there is a hint of determination behind her eyes that gives me a little hope. "I am sure she didn't mean it like that. I know your mother loves you, but she is ...."
"Old-fashioned."
"Yes. She reminds me of my mother sometimes," she cackles and quickly adds, " But don't you dare tell her that."
We both laugh and try to lighten the mood, but it is still tense. These little moments, the chuckles and laughs, keep me sane and stop me from crying again.
"The thing with people that hold onto those traditions with all their heart is that they will learn their lesson eventually, but when they do, it's usually too late."
My curiosity perks up. "You think so? I can't imagine my mother admitting she was wrong. Ever."
"You'd be surprised how much they can change when it affects them personally." The sincerity that lies behind her words feels palpable.
I scoff. It's hard to believe that the folks condemning people like me can have a change of heart. "How'd you know?" I hate how I must sound, but I'm not in the mood for positive do-gooder-talk.
"I had an older brother, Conrad," Rose starts.
"Had?" I interrupt and bite my bottom lip. Where are my manners?
"Yes, had," her eyes dim as she seems to wander to another time in her life, "He was a kind and funny little boy but never fit with the other kids. My parents didn't care that much because where we came from, there weren't many children in the first place, and they just figured he was not getting along with the older boys from the pack. But he was sensitive, broody, a bit clumsy, and more into reading than hunting or fighting." She smiles as she looks at me.
"That sounds familiar." I return the smile.
She laughs a little, "She reminds me so much of him. Kate would have loved him."
"What happened to him?"
"He was in his early twenties when your father came to visit our alpha; he was not king back then, only prince. And you know how it goes; with a royal visit comes an entire entourage of people. Our territory suddenly was crowded with guards, advisers, and Aiden's most trusted friend. This charismatic young, handsome man accompanied Aiden and never left his side, and when he met Conrad, the world stopped."
I shift in my chair; not only didn't I know Rose had a brother, but he was also like us. Two gay wolves in two generations? My mother would call the Evans a cursed family for sure. I mean, what are the odds?
"As you can imagine, it was a shock for both of them. Conrad was willing to try, and he was ready to go away and leave us, but-"
She swallows, and the way her eyes water tells me everything. "But his mate didn't; they didn't go together, right?"
"No," she manages to croak.
"I can't blame him, "I say without thinking. "I'm sorry that was insensitive of me."
"It's okay. I know I can't blame it on him, which is not to say I haven't tried it. But he was just a young and scared nobleman with a full life planned, and choosing Conrad would have turned his world upside down. He wasn't ready for that."
"What happened to Conrad?" I ask.
"He didn't take the rejection well and started to keep to himself, more than he already did, and then after a few weeks, he was... gone."
"I am so sorry. That must have been awful. I can't imagine...." I really can't. I may not like Charlie most of the day, but he is still my brother. I would be devastated if something happened to him, and I would probably kill anyone responsible for his death.
"It happened a long time ago. But I wanted to tell you that my parents would have given everything to have him back again. Ultimately, they didn't care what he was or whom he loved. They deeply regretted the ugly things they said to him because it never really mattered in the first place."
I let the information sink before I answer, "Is that why he moved to Island? Because he wanted to make it up to you?" I ask, following a hunch.
Rose's head snaps up.
"That's why he is always keen on helping me with her," I conclude further.
"Duh, it's obvious now. Don't pretend to be a genius just 'cause you put two and two together," Nora adds.
"He told you?" She seems surprised and maybe a little shocked.
"Well, he told me a story without names that I have refused to believe entirely. But now... what you just told me about Conrad sounds similar."
"You'd think Peter would be better at keeping secrets.; It's his damn job."
I open my mouth to say something but close it as I feel a mind link forming, making me zone out for a good few seconds.
"Someone demanding your presence?" she asks with a knowing smile.
I flinch a bit. "Sorry, yes. She wondered where I went."
"It's okay; we don't want to keep the pillow princess waiting."
I almost audibly choke on my way up the stairs.
"What? Did I say something wrong?"
"Yes- I. No," I clear my throat. "Please don't make me explain it... google, it, okay?" I can feel my face flush red.
"She is going to be a princess..." Rose says as if she just now realized it.
"I'm sorry," I say again.
On top of the steps, we both halt, and she hugs me. "It's fine, and everything will be okay, you hear me?"
"I wish you were my mother," I mumble against her shoulder. I don't want to let go; it feels safe in her embrace.
She laughs, "That would be impractical. You are dating my daughter, remember?"
"True that," I join in, and we awkwardly blink at each other before I go into Kate's room. I can feel Rose's eyes bore into my back until I silently close the door.
"I hope it wasn't a mistake trusting her," Nora says with an underlying threat.
Kate's arms wrap around my body before I can slide under the blanket completely. "Where'd you go?" she mumbles into my neck.
"Just downstairs," I say and kiss her forehead.
"You can't just go," she says and starts to nip on my earlobe.
I cackle, "Can't I?"
"No, you're my girlfriend; you can't just leave."
"Is that so?"
"Mhm." She nods a bit too enthusiastically and bangs her head on my jaw, "Don't blame me. I don't make the rules."
"Well, if that's the case, I'll try to keep it in mind."
"Promise?
"Promise," I say and snuggle up even closer. And while I relish in the warmth of the preheated bed and Kate's scent, I drift into sleep in a matter of seconds despite the raging storm of doubt, fear, and a small silver lining of hope.