HARRY P.O.V
Growing up I believed in angels. I like the idea that there was a beings so perfect and beautiful watching over the world as we went about our lives.
I used to look up at the sky hoping that my eyes would catch the one's of an angel. Even though I knew in the back of my head I would never see them. I would always wish that they would see me, and they would keep me safe.
It's funny how my optimism about angels vanished the day my life changed. Any white light gleaming in my life exploded, leaving me alone in a black void.
Angels were no longer something I sought trust in. I stopped believing the stories, and the existence all together. Angels were no longer real.
I was a nonbeliever.
I was lost for all those years. It felt like life was a silent film, and I was going through the motions trying to piece together the rest.
I had no hope, I had no desire, I had no passion, I had nothing, absolutely nothing. I went through life like it was a step by step manual. I followed the list of instructions of what to do, and didn't complain.
Or at least I didn't show that I was miserable.
I looked at life through a melancholic scope. Gray and glumly, sad and wretched. Life was no longer being played in color. The only copies that were being played are in black and white, with no sound, and no happiness.
But that all changed.
The day I met a certain girl with chocolate doe eyes, my black and white life started to bleed with color again.
Arlo Steele made me not only have hope that there is a brighter light at the end of the road, but she also made me believe in angels.
Never in my life did I ever think that I would see an angel in person. I always assumed they stayed hidden, never to reveal themselves, but I was so wrong.
An angel let me see them in their purest form. Standing in a Heavenly glow of light purple, I laid my eyes upon my angel for the first time. She was meant for me. She felt as though she was created to guide me through life.
She is my guardian angel. My purple angel. The angel in mention is the one and only Arlo Steele.
After weeks of not catching even the smallest glimpse of her, no communication, and obvious ignoring, she's finally in front of me.
I had to blink a few times to register the fact that the person I ran into when coming back from the bar after taking a few shots is really my lovebug.
She looks so beautiful and so perfect. Her skin looks so delicate and soft, I just want to throw myself at her and capture her in a tight hug. Her lips look plump as ever and so inviting it's hard to fight the urge.
Not knowing how to go about all of this is killing me. She's right here, holy fuck she's right here.
I reach my hand up, and tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. I can't resist the urge to be closer to her than I already am. I lean down, rubbing my nose against hers.
I rest the side of my face on her cheek, and whisper in her ear. "Hi, Lo."
She smells just like her. Sweet coconut. It's amazing, wonderful, perfect. I want to smell her all day, everyday, for the rest of my life.
I pull away, making sure to graze my nose against the apple of her cheek. I settle my eyes back onto hers. She has a blank look on her face. Nothing about her is giving me any hint as to what she is thinking, or feeling.
Please say something Lo, anything, just say something
My arms make no move to drop my tight hold on her. I keep my hands locked together, settled on the curve of her back. Our bodies are flushed together in this position. I can feel every breath she takes and every twitch of her body.
Her heart is pounding fast right against mine, perfectly in sync.
"What are you doing here?" She finally speaks. My knees nearly wobble from hearing her honey soaked voice for the first time up close in nearly a month.
"A party." I responded. A small smile stretches across my face involuntarily. I feel some much warmth being reignited in my chest. "What about you?"
The thing throwing me for a loop the most about this whole situation is the fact that Arlo is here at Lush. She has been missing out of everyone's lives for the past month basically, and then all of a sudden she is here.
What are the odds that I would run into her here out of all my places. I'm convinced there is an elastic string that follows us around everywhere, keeping us tied together, never able to stray too far without snapping back together.
She doesn't answer my question which in turn causes a small knot to form in my stomach. I simply want to hear her voice, and being denied, that hurts.
"You look beautiful, Lo." I say in awe. I don't think she is dressed in a Halloween costume at all, but I don't care. She still looks perfect.
Arlo drops her eye contact with me, and looks down at the ground. I see her lips pursed together like she is trying to hold back a small grin. At least I hope that is what she is trying to do.
She glances back up and looks up at me from underneath her eyelashes. "Thanks." She mumbles under her breath.
I bite the inside of my cheek, stopping an overly big smile from making an appearance on my face. I thought about how Arlo and I, if and when we ran into each other again, would act.
Most of my thought leaned more towards the idea that it would be awkward, and tense. Those thoughts are wrong. There's no feeling of awkwardness and no thick tension in the air. It feels normal, our normal. Sure how we are acting right now isn't how we usually are, especially in each other's presence, but it still feels normal and familiar nonetheless.
"Come on." I untangle my hands from around her back, and grab onto her wrist. I turn and pull her straight towards a little nook that I found earlier that no one else seemed to notice.
I need to be alone with her. Standing in a large crowd of people is not the setting I want to talk to Arlo in.
"Harry, what are you doing?" She asks from behind me, slightly out of breath from my fast pace.
I guide us through the sea of people, my eyes zero in on the target. "I want to go somewhere quieter." I say rushed.
"Harry." Arlo says my name as if she is irritated with me. A small sting nips my chest. She isn't calling me H, or pretty boy, she's calling me Harry as if she doesn't know me like she truly does. "Harry stop." She protests, but I don't stop.
I drag us to the small hidden corner. I stop walking and turn to face Arlo. I plant both my hands on the tops of her shoulder. In a swift motion, I turn her around, and pin her lightly against the wall.
I don't crowd her space too much. With both my hands planted by the top of her head, I stand to where there is a good distance between us.
Her chest is heaving up and down. The pink LED lights illuminate half of her face. The other half is hidden in the shadows. She stares up at me, and I stare down at her. I desperately want to kiss her right now.
"I've missed you." I state matter-of-factly. I didn't say anything after that. I continue to just stare at her. The emptiness left inside when she disappeared all those weeks ago is being filled the more I look at her.
"Harry." She says my name as if she is warning me to stop talking.
"What?" I lean my head down more so that our noses brush together.
Arlo tilts her head away, disconnecting the light touch of our noses. Pain fills my body at her rejection of my affection. "Harry, go away." She pushes my chest slightly.
My brows furrow. I hate how she is being so cold. I thought that maybe after all the distance, she would thaw out, and be the same Arlo I've grown to adore the past couple months.
I thought we would reunite, have a grand kiss, and talk about everything. I thought our connection to each other was stronger than this. I thought that our feelings towards each other were stronger than this.
"Why, Arlo please, please, talk to me, lovebug." I pleaded with her. I look at her desperately, praying to the universe that my desperation would work. Since my birthday, all I've wanted was for her to give me the time of day to talk about what happened. Even if we ended things between us, whatever that may be, closure would be nice to ease the mind.
Arlo pinches her eyes shut, looking as if she is in pain. She shakes her head, and wraps her arms around her chest. "Harry, please go away, I—I, just, please."
"Can you at least tell me why you can't talk to me?" I feel frantic, unhinged like a madman. It's making me go insane that she won't give me the time of day for at least five minutes. "You can't just be with me everyday, and then suddenly bail on me when we get into that argument, and expect me to just walk away from you like nothing ever happened between us."
Arlo looks stunned by words. Her eyes widen, and her bottom lip immediately becomes stuck between her teeth as she nervously chews on it.
She looks down at the ground, like staring at me is too much. "H" she whispers under her breath. My stomach flutters with butterflies at her using my nickname instead of addressing me by my full name. "Please, you have to understand that—just please."
"Please what, baby?" I tilt my head, leaning back down, and brushing my lips over her cheek. "Can't you just tell me what's going on in your head?"
Instead of leaning away this time, Arlo moves her face closer to my lips which are hovering over her cheek. I take the opportunity to plant a gentle kiss on her smooth skin.
Arlo presses her cheek even further into my lips. I hold my pucker, feeling that in this moment she needs this small act of affection. In the back of my mind, I'm praying that she will let me show her more.
Out of nowhere my top lip feels wet. I pull back slightly, and look at Arlo. My hands fly up to her face, and I begin to wipe the tears that's falling down her face right now.
"Baby, why are you crying? Mhhh, lovebug, talk to me sweet girl." I hold her face in my hands, and give her my full attention.
She shakes her head in my hands, but immediately starts to break down more. I pull her to my chest, placing a hand on the back of her head, as I massage her scalp.
I sway us back and forth as she silently cries against my chest. I hold her tighter, refusing to let go of her.
My body feels so warm. It's as if I'm finally being wrapped in a thick warm blanket after freezing in the cold for weeks on end.
I want to freeze time right now, and live in this moment forever. Arlo Steele and I holding each other for comfort is an experience I want time and time again.
"Shhhhh." I shush, kissing the top of her head, continuing to run my fingers through her hair.
I feel her tears wet my exposed skin. I feel a bit ridiculous wearing an orange prison jumpsuit while I rock her back and forth.
Arlo's hands snake around my back, and she wraps her arms around me, molding us together just like how we are meant to be.
I feel like I'm high right now. I'm on cloud nine, this is all I wanted for the past weeks. I just want to hold Arlo, and to have her hold me.
Any wound that formed from her absence is healing at this very moment.
"Lovebug." I whisper, wanting to gain her attention. She hums as she sniffles. "I get if you aren't comfortable or ready with talking to me about it yet, but...what's wrong baby?"
"Harry, please, stop asking." She begs. I don't want to stop. I want to keep pressing her until I know what exactly is the issue, and then I'm going to come up with a solution to fix it because the last thing I want on this earth is for Arlo Steele to be sad. "Just—just hold me for now."
"Okay." Is all I say before I am squeezing her tighter to me. I don't know what to do to offer her more comfort. Something is screaming at me that she isn't okay whatsoever. Something feels off about her, but I can't place exactly what it is that is so different. It's nothing physical, that's all I know.
"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby." I start to sing quietly to her.
I don't know why I thought to sing to her, this song especially, but there is a soft ache in my chest from all the memories that filter through my head.
"Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true." I continue to sing.
A hidden talent of mine is that I can sing. Growing up, people had always raved to me about how beautiful of a voice I have, and if I wanted to I could make it big one day.
I always laughed at the thought of being some famous singer, traveling the world, but I don't think that's for me. Maybe as a kid, I would have considered that, but now all that I associate with singing is unimaginable pain.
"Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me."
I feel Arlo's body start to relax against mine. Her tense posture loosens, and she always herself to fully melt into my body.
I don't fight the smile that surfaces. It makes me feel good to know that my singing can still relax someone when they're upset.
I close my eyes, and allow myself to become immersed into the song. "Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why can't I?"
I feel Arlo move her head, but I don't make any move. I feel a tidal wave of sadness wash over my body, tears of my own sting in the back of my eye.
"Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why can't I?"
The pain grows as I continue to sing until it fully encases my body in its tight grip, but the pain isn't as strong as it used to be. It doesn't cut as deep and burn as bad, and I know the only reason for that is because Arlo is here keeping me grounded without even knowing it.
"If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?" I finish off the song taking a big breath.
It takes me a moment before I open my eyes. I look down, and lock my gaze with a pair of chocolate doe eyes.
Arlo's chin is on my chest resting, she's looking at me with a look that I can't decipher. I don't know what she's thinking, and I'm not sure if I can even stomach what she is thinking.
I can barely stomach anything. Standing up right now feels like too much to bear with how jumbled my head feels.
"I didn't know you could sing." She speaks up with a hint of awe in her tone. Her face doesn't give away anything that she might be thinking.
"Um." I clear my throat, doing my best to rid the memories from my thoughts. "Yeah, a little." I look away, almost feeling embarrassed which is stupid since there isn't anything to be embarrassed about whatsoever.
"Thank you." She whispers under her breath." I snap my head back down to look at her. "It was beautiful."
I don't know what to say, there is so much sincerity to her tone. All I do is nod my head. Arlo gives me a faint smile, before breaking away from the hug.
"I appreciate it H, I really do...but, I have to go." She looks down at the ground. I feel a sense of panic entering my body.
No, no, no you can't leave
"Wait Arlo, please, no, why?" I rush out, gripping her wrist to stop any potential movement.
"H..." she looks up at me, then back down at her hands. "I'm sorry, but I can't tell you, but just know I can't be around you."
"Why, for what? Arlo, don't do this, at least explain to me why." I question her.
"Harry, I can't, I can't." She shakes her head, but I can't accept that. I'm respectful of her wishes to not speak on certain topics anytime I can tell that it bothers her, but if she thinks she is just going to disappear on me again without giving me some peace of mind, then she is mistaken.
This is the one thing that I can't say okay to, and accept that she isn't ready. Not when it so strongly involves me...us.
"And you can't just walk away, say you can't be around me, and not give me a single reason as to why!" I raise my voice. It's not full of anger, only desperation.
I'm desperate for her
"I'm sorry." Arlo looks to the side before abruptly yanking her arm out of my grip. She turned so fast, it was as if she was moving at two times speed.
My feet move before my mind can process. I follow after her like a lost puppy. I watch her silhouette move through the crowd with urgency.
I pick up my pace, nearly sprinting at this point. "Arlo." I shout like a madman over the loud music. I couldn't even tell you what song was playing, or what was going on around me. All I can focus on at this moment is catching up to Arlo before she slips away from me again.
"Arlo." I shout again, I'm managing to catch up to her. She looks over her shoulder, right at me, but doesn't let her eyes linger longer than a second before her head is facing forward, and she is picking up the pace.
I don't care if I look crazy as I begin to run after her. All I can think about is getting her attention, and convincing her to at least speak to me.
If she can't be around me, then that's okay, but I want to know the reason. That's all. I'm not going to try and convince her otherwise. If she feels it's best to not be around me then so be it. But I just need closure.
Please let me have closure this one time
I managed to get close enough to her that if I were to leap, I could grab her. Just as I'm about to reach out to attempt to get her attention, she crashes right into someone.
A taller man dressed in an all black suit to be exact. He flings his arms down to catch Arlo. I stop my fast pace, and linger slightly behind them, maybe a few feet or so, so that when he leaves her on her way, I can swoop right in.
I watch the man as he looks down, and a wide smile stretches across his face. His teeth are on full display as he stares down at Arlo. "Arlonza, is that you?"
I freeze at the sound of her full name coming off his tongue. The only other time I've ever heard her called that was when her mother was going ape shit crazy on her.
Arlo's entire body goes rigid. I watch her back stiffen, and all her movements seize. Her head slowly tips up, and as she connects her eyes with his, she physically jumps out of his arms, shuffling backwards.
She continues to stumble backwards, staring at the man until she walks straight into me. She doesn't jump away from me like I expected, instead she reaches behind, and grabs a chunk of my orange jumpsuit.
I can feel her whole body shaking with fear as she continues to stare at the man. I cautiously place a hand on her shoulder, letting her know that I am here.
I don't know who he is, but I already don't like him one bit.
"My goodness, look at you." The man gives Arlo a slow once over, meticulously analyzing every inch of her body.
My skin crawls with disgust. I don't trust this man whatsoever. Not a single bone in my body trusts him.
I slide my hand down her shoulder, and wrap my arm around the middle of her belly, pulling her closer to me.
Arlo doesn't say anything, her body increasingly shakes more as each millisecond passes.
Terror, sheer terror is what I can guarantee Arlo Steele is feeling right now.
"It's been too long dear, I've missed you." He takes a step closer, reaching his hand down towards the tips of her hair.
I take a step back, taking her with me. I refuse to let this man lay a single fiber of his cells on her.
"What the fuck do you want?" I ask him in a dark voice.
I'm not sure at all how he knows Arlo, but clearly Arlo doesn't like him. Not one bit, so I'm going to do everything in my power to make her comfortable.
The man's sickening eyes break away from Arlo's and meet mine. His eyes are black, no color whatsoever. Pitch black as a void.
"And how do you know Arlonza?" His voice is sharp. He's irritated with me.
"That doesn't concern you, and neither does she, so fuck out of here, and leave her the fuck alone." I demand.
He laughs condescendingly, shaking his head. "You don't tell me what to do boy. I make the calls around here, ain't that right Arlonza."
Her nails begin to dig into the skin of my hip where she is gripping my jumpsuit. I hold her closer, hoping that knowing I'm right behind is giving her a sense of safety because by the look of it, she looks terrified.
"I said fuck off." I seethe, practically growling at the man to fuck off and leave. "Now!"
The man rolls his eyes as she smooths his hands down his suit. "Fine, I'd much rather talk to my Arlonza alone anyway." I hate the way 'my Arlonza' sounds coming out of his mouth.
It causes bile to bubble in my throat, and a ripple of a sickly feeling engulfs my body whole.
He walks forward, and as he passes he stops right next to Arlo staring down into her eyes. I pull her even closer to my body to create a distance between the two of them. "Just so you know my dear, you'll be seeing more of me...and I just can't wait." He winks before walking off.
I follow him with my eyes until he is fully out of my line of sight.
I quickly focus my attention back onto Arlo. "Hey, baby are you okay, my lovebug? Hmmm?"
She turns out of my body, and slowly stares up at me. "I'm going to walk away Harry, and you aren't going to follow me because I need to be alone right now, and I can't be around you. You are going to suck it up no matter how bad it hurts, do you fucking understand me?" She says all in one breath.
My heart breaks hearing those words. I hate how she isn't giving me any explanation. I want to beg her for one before she goes, but looking at her right now, I can't.
She looks shaken up, in complete distress. Her mind seems so distant right now, it shines through her eyes. I feel as though she isn't looking at me, but through me.
She looks as if her world has just shattered, and right now I can't cause her anymore distress no matter how badly it pains me.
I nod my head agreeing with her terms. She doesn't waste another second before she spins around and walks away from me.
I stand in place this time, making no effort to follow her. I'm mesmerized by her fading figure. I will never not think she is the most beautiful angel ever created.
My purple angel is leaving me behind
Soon she disappears completely and my soul splits into two. I quickly slip right back into my numb state of living. It's crazy how one person can affect me so much, but then again, she isn't just anyone. She's Arlo Bitchbaby Steele, my girl, my baby, my lovebug, my Lo. She's everything and more so it makes complete sense why she has such a strong power over me.
I watch the crowd continue dancing, completely unaware that a girl who means the world to a boy just walked out on him for forever is what it seems.
I wish I was a bluebird right now
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A/N: ahhh I'm sorry it took me forever, I went through some writers block with this chap, but I'm happy with how it came out ;)
Thank you times a thousand for 10k reads! I love you all to the moon and back <3
See you in the next one
-iz