Really thrilled that you liked the first chapter so much! So I thought, why not, I'll give you the next one right away. I've finished the first few chapters, but unfortunately not so many. So this story's updates will come a bit slower...I'll just update as I go :)
Narrator POV
The next morning, her phone rings her awake far too early. Groaning, she rolls out of bed, rummages on her bedside table for her phone to be able to switch off the terribly loud noise. Without even being able to open her eyes because she is far too tired, she answers it.
"Hello?" she says in a scratchy, sleepy voice.
"Jade? Are you still in bed?" she hears the misjudged voice of her manager.
"What time is it?" she asks, rubbing her eyes frantically to make them easier to open.
"Five am, you're late," he explains tersely. She groans loudly. How can it be her life to be constantly late just because she doesn't get up in the middle of the night?
The fitting with Zach last night took forever. As it turned out, not only was he planning her outfit for the festival, but he was also laying out all the outfits for important appointments for the next few days that also needed to be fitted. They were busy until 1am and by then she hadn't eaten or showered. She decided to rely on her good old dry shampoo, just rinse off her body, forego food as she so often does, and instead prefer to wash down a sleeping pill with a glass of red wine so she could at least get some sleep. Sleep, she realised, is the most precious thing she is denied far too often. She always had problems falling asleep, could not get to sleep quickly, often lay awake for hours and used all kinds of toxic tactics to also stay awake.
Over the years in Little Mix, with all the jet lag and the far too frequent short nights, this did improve, but only minimally. Basically, even then, she was usually the only one lying awake far too long. With the break and her solo debut, this condition only got worse, until at some point it was no longer sustainable, because she only dragged herself from appointment to appointment like a zombie. A quick solution was needed. She forgot about any herbal remedies and went straight for the good stuff. Triazolam was her miracle cure, her constant companion. Technically, the drug can only be taken for a few weeks at a time, but Jade has been taking it for many months because she simply cannot function without it. Accordingly, she can finally fall asleep quickly and, on top of that, sleep through the night, which has been a game changer in her life and career. Stupidly, however, she was basically always woken up before the effect time was even over, so waking up was often a barely manageable hurdle.
"What am I late for again?" she picks up, still half asleep.
"Since you promised Harry yesterday that you'd take the whole day off for him, we've had to reschedule your appointments. The dance rehearsals have been moved to this morning," her manager explains choppily.
"If I'm supposed to have the day off, why don't I have the day off?" she questions annoyed.
"Because your schedule absolutely won't allow it. Aiden told me that you guys aren't as far along with the choreography as you should be. Consider what's coming up in the next few days and weeks," he reminds her and she just shakes her head. Of course Aiden said that.
"That means I have even less time than I already do because of a collab I don't want to do," she states.
"Looks like it," he confirms tersely.
"Fucking great," she mutters in annoyance. "Why didn't anyone tell me yesterday about the rehearsal today?"
"I'm telling you now," he says gruffly. "Get out of bed and off to the studio. You're expected in half an hour. You're meeting Harry at 10 am," and without waiting for a reply, he hangs up.
"Urgh," she groans aloud before picking herself up and tackling the never-ending day. As she gets up, she is also reminded of her other constant companion. The headache she always gets from too little sleep and the sleeping pills. This is also a pleasant side effect of the triazolam. She never really wakes up refreshed, usually has a headache, and even notices a reduction in her ability to react and concentrate. Therefore, she has to counteract this with stimulants. She has long realised that taking amphetamines is the only way to start the day. She needs drugs to go to sleep and she needs drugs to wake up. This is her life now.
Still half asleep, she staggers through the flat, hoping that her wake-up drugs will soon spark their desired effect, and pauses briefly in the kitchen. There is a plate ready with a banana and a note.
"Please eat at least this before you go. See you Friday - Z"
She has to smile at his gesture and even though she doesn't actually have any appetite, she packs the banana and eats it in slow, small bites as she gets into her car and is driven to the dance studio. In London she still uses the metro most of the time, but here in L.A. she has quickly realised that she can't get around without a car. However, she still doesn't have a driver's licence and doesn't know if she ever will, so she has a private driver for her time in the States. She takes a small advantage of success.
She kind of lets the dance rehearsals get the better of her. After initial starting problems, until the pills really finally kick in, the rehearsal goes surprisingly well. She was on time, which is the exception, Aiden was in a good mood, which is also rare, and they made good progress. Once she danced her way in, the movements were natural, they were relaxing, they let her switch off. And once she looked in the mirror and saw how good the choreography looked, she was even euphoric to leave the studio. But this good mood quickly disappeared when she realised where she was going next.
She knows it's unfounded, that it's not actually fair, but she hates her new nickname and so she can't stand the person associated with that name either. It represents everything she doesn't want for her future. He is the most successful solo artist from a British band. His success speaks volumes for the fact that the fate of the band is actually sealed. She knows she was lucky that her solo debut went through the roof, that she has probably achieved much more success and notoriety now than in all her years in the band. But for her, this time is not positive. For her, it would be the most beautiful thing in the world to revive the old times. To be compared to Harry in a certain way is symbolic for her that this wish is becoming more and more distant, even if it doesn't actually make sense. But she can't always control the ways her mind sometimes goes. In fact, she can never control it.
To her surprise, he is already sitting where she left him yesterday, and even seems to be waiting for her.
"Good morning," he greets her with a friendly smile and inwardly she just rolls her eyes. She has been up for five hours, literally. It hasn't been morning for a long time.
"You look..." he begins, but then stops himself, which is why she gives him a probing look.
"Like shit?" she asks, because that's exactly how she feels. She doesn't wear any make-up because time didn't allow it in the morning. Her skin has been more of a battlefield for a while now, her dark circles are more than obvious, she covers her frizzy hair with a cap and she didn't have time to freshen up after the exhausting, sweaty dance session. She knows she looks terrible.
"Tired," he corrects her. "You look tired," and his look plays serious interest, his smile seeming genuine and thoughtful. She almost falls for it, but only almost.
"I just had dance rehearsals," she explains tersely, sitting down on the empty chair.
"I thought we agreed to take the day off today?" he huffs, confused.
"Apparently, I can't do that," is all she says, and she doesn't manage to hide how much she dislikes it.
"You're on quite a tight schedule at the moment, aren't you?" he asks quietly and she just laughs.
"At the moment? This tight schedule is my life. Right now is even harmless. But you know how it is, don't you?"
"I knew how it is," he corrects her. "I realised after what felt like a whole year of constant touring, performances, album promo and filming that it doesn't work like that. That lifestyle almost destroyed me," he explains more seriously than she would have expected.
"I can't do it that easily," she thinks aloud, but he just eyes her sceptically.
"Why not? You're so big by now, you could easily give yourself a break. Believe me, it's worth it," but she just shakes her head.
"I can't take a break," she hears herself say. "If I sit still for too long, I have too much time to think. That's never good," she surprises herself with this honest revelation, preferring to look down to the floor so as not to show him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he surprises her even more.
"What?" she asks, completely thrown off guard.
"Well, you sounded a bit...sad just now," he explains carefully.
"I have enough people to talk to who actually know me, but thanks," she snaps at him, catching herself questioning her own statement.
"But can they all relate to your life?" he questions.
"We're not the same," she reminds him.
"No, but maybe similar," he persists. "Look, I would never force you to talk, but I know how it can be sometimes. So, if you need someone to talk to..." he clarifies, running a hand through his hair so that a longer strand falls across his forehead and Jade can't take her eyes off it. She eyes him longer, trying to see through whether he means what he says or not, whether he is sincere or not. She can't read him that well and it annoys her. Normally she's quite good at that.
"Let's just write the song," she then suggests, avoiding the issue.
"All right," he says, then lifts two bottles with a grin. "Champagne breakfast?"
"All day, every day, hun," she grins back and promptly has a glass poured for her, which she finishes in three big gulps. That's what she needed, what she always needs.
An hour and one and a half bottles later, the mood finally loosens up a bit. It's always the same pattern, as soon as Jade is at least slightly tipsy, she becomes more open, more honest. Most people around her already know this, use it, while for her at least situations become more bearable that way.
"And has the creativity kicked in yet?" Harry asks, smirking as he plays with his glass in his hand.
She eyes him for a moment before she finishes her glass and confesses honestly as rarely full of fervour: "God, I hate ballads."
"Why?" he inquires, amused. "You can put your whole heart and soul into it."
"It's hard as shit to sing," she reminds him quickly. "Your throat hurts afterwards, you can't dance while doing it, the songs usually move you to tears and..." but she stops her list of excuses, all of which she herself hardly sees as a reason for her not-yet-long-time hatred of ballads.
"And...?" he doesn't give up, though.
"And the last song we wrote together was a ballad," she looks sadly down at the floor, playing with her hands on her lap, taking a deep breath.
"Oh," is all he says, knowing exactly what she's getting at, looking at her sympathetically. "That makes sense then."
"You think so?" she pauses incredulously. She's never confessed it to anyone like this before because she never thought anyone could understand.
"Yeah, of course. You associate many positive and also negative feelings with it. I can understand that," he assures her before briefly scrutinising her a little more closely as she avoids his gaze.
"You really miss it, don't you?" he sees too.
She smiles narrowly without looking up. "Is it that obvious?" she asks in a heavy voice.
"Only if you look close enough," he explains with a smile. "And if you listen."
"I'm really not very good at being on my own," she admits honestly, even as she understates.
"Your solo career says otherwise, though," he considers.
"The career isn't everything," she says, which makes him wonder. He is pleased that she is opening up, but at the same time he's afraid to go too far while she is deep in her own thoughts.
"Can I ask a question?" he is cautious.
"You just did," she lets the smartass in her hang out, but then smiles kindly at him, "Fire away."
"How did the break come about?" he ventures then, and she had almost expected something like this, but still has to swallow. She doesn't like remembering it, nor does she know how to explain the situation back then without revealing too much that she mustn't reveal, that she promised to keep hidden.
"I think the lockdown played a part," she is more or less honest. "After that, at least the first conversations came up. I think the others realised how much time they suddenly had for other things and that's when ideas started to come up."
"And you didn't?" he concludes.
"No, for me the lockdown was not enriching. Only took a few bad habits with me. Apart from that, I realised how little I like being alone. Technically I wasn't alone, but...well...without the girls and real work," she explains. "So in other words: While the girls saw how nice they thought it was to be without each other, I thought it sucked," she says bitterly.
"I don't think they thought it was nice," he tries to mend fences without ever having been involved and promptly earns an incredulous look.
"Then why did you agree to the break if you weren't in favour of it?" he then wants to know.
"Should I have forced the others to continue even though they didn't want to?" she returns, shaking her head. "I mean, the timing was right, I give them that. After ten years together, it was maybe time to get to know other stuff and then the girls got pregnant and...yeah, then it was actually quite obvious that it was going to come down to that," she explains.
"Ah, I see," he nods sadly.
"Don't get me wrong, I love the little bubbas, I really do. And of course I understand that they just need the time for their families. I just didn't want the break," she indicates.
"You don't have to justify yourself," he sees through her. "After all, you're allowed to have feelings. Holding back for the sake of others is a noble quality," he smiles sincerely at her, which Jade returns narrowly. It feels like she's always done this, like it's her constant destiny, like she's always the one who, without a second thought or hesitation, stands back and makes decisions for the good of others, no matter how much she dislikes them or how hard it is for her.
"And how long is the break going to be?" he dares to ask the question that has been burning on his tongue.
"Actually, we were supposed to get back together last year," she is surprisingly honest. "The break was supposed to last two years."
And with the assurance of his kind smile, his sincere eyes, his listening gaze, she manages to explain in a heavy voice, "But well...life kinda got in the way. Leigh-Anne had a film role at the time and Perrie...well Perrie got pregnant again and then...then it just didn't work out, you know? And now I'm sort of waiting..." and then she catches herself saying a bitter thought out loud for the first time, "Probably in vain."
"You don't believe in it anymore?" he's taken aback. "I thought you'd go right back there."
"I would...or kind of," she says a little uncertainly. "I would go back to the life we used to have, that I used to have," she explains sadly. "I don't know if that's possible anymore..."
"Why not?" he prods cautiously.
"I screwed up a few things and well...life changes, you know? I don't know if it could still be the same...or if they still want it."
"Why don't you just ask them?" he suggests, and she'd love to tell him that's absolutely impossible and how he could even come up with such an idea, but she still holds herself in check. Instead, she gives him an opaque look and says softly, "It's not always that easy."
And he would like to probe further, to know what she means, to know what else is behind all this. But he stops himself as she downs another glass.
"But that's a good start for the song, isn't it? Losing something close to heart," he states instead.
"What have you lost?" she asks casually.
"That's a story for another day," he is terse and she looks at him indignantly.
"You can't be serious," she makes her displeasure known. "You want me to reveal myself here, be vulnerable and all, and you're holding back. I'm shocked, Harry," she teases him and even if she doesn't mean her words, he thinks about them.
"Alright, I'll say two things and that's it, okay?" she nods in confirmation.
"I had a girlfriend, now I don't have one. It's not my fault," he explains in terse terms and the anger and bitterness are unmistakable.
"Someone leaving Harry Styles, I can't even imagine," she quips.
"She didn't just leave me, she basically replaced me," he gets more specific and she tears up again indignantly. "She cheated on you?" she concludes and his nod is enough to make her say with conviction, "Bitch."
"You say it," he agrees.
"I'm very sorry about that," she is sincere. "But there's no way we're going to write about that. In the music video, I'll be the cheating one? No way. Your fans are completely batshit crazy, they'd execute me for that," and despite the situation just mentioned, which has been bothering him for so long, he has to laugh properly for the first time in a while.
"All right, then we won't put it in," he realises. "But we can keep the loss neutral, right? What can you lose in life?"
"A scrunchie, your phone, those damn hairpins," she enumerates.
"Could you be serious," he asks her with a laugh, but is secretly pleased that, at least today, she seems to have found her sense of humour again.
"Okay, sorry," she says, eyeing him seriously.
"So," he begins. "You can lose...people you care about, a love, a life you used to have..." and she has to swallow the lump in her throat as she realises how close to the heart his words are.
"A life you could have had...or never will have" she thinks aloud and feels her eyes glaze over, which she quickly blinks away. He eyes her thoughtfully, almost sadly, suspecting there is more to it, but she just looks to the ground, too focused on staying strong. Because, once she lets herself go, she can't stop.
"We can work with that," he murmurs, suddenly deeply touched by this conversation and already starting to write something down.
"What do you think of the line I lost you and now I'm losing me. Can't stop thinking about a life that will never be?"
She starts looking at him, surprised, impressed and full of respect how quickly he managed just that.
"It's beautiful...and quite fitting," she says in a heavy voice, having to blink away the tears again, but failing this time.
"That is long gone, that won't come back," he continues to murmur and she nods thoughtfully before hearing herself say in a shaky voice, "I can't function now, I can't be who I am."
And hearing her voice, he stops and looks at her thoughtfully.
"I told you I hate ballads," she says laughing as the first tear rolls, which she quickly tries to wipe away with the back of her hand.
"We can take a break," he suggests.
"Already?" she asks incredulously.
"We have all day," he reminds her with a small smile.
Meanwhile, Zach has landed in London and is already on his way to Leigh-Anne. He wishes it wasn't like this, but he's nervous. He's happy too, after all he hasn't seen her for a while and he misses the girls and everything around it. But he dreads the topics of conversation she is sure to bring up and the personal debate with himself about what he is allowed to say, how much he is allowed to reveal, whether he is allowed to say anything at all. He knows himself that Leigh and Perrie are hurting, that he rarely has time for them. Rarely is a nice way of putting it, he never really has time. This now is an exception because Jade is in the studio a lot right now and doesn't need his help every day. He knows the girls' agreements for the most part, he also knows that Jade has partly violated all that, but he also knows why. He knows the reason and he's sure if the girls knew it too, they couldn't be mad for a second. At least he hoped so, that's how he knows them.
He takes another deep breath before ringing the doorbell and ten seconds later she's already standing there, opening the door and beaming at him.
"Zach, it's so good to see you!" she greets him and wraps him in her arms.
"It's been too long," she says and he can only agree. It really has been too long, he feels the same way.
"I know, but I'm really looking forward to today," he says cheerfully. "Are the little ones home?"
It's been just as long since he's seen the kids he's come to love so much.
"No, unfortunately not, they're out with Andre," she replies.
"Oh man, too bad. But how is Andre doing? How does he like retirement?"
"Oh he's good, he loves the time off. He's a full-time dad now and I have quite a lot of time for projects and music and all that," she tells him, smiling. "Do you want something to drink?"
Armed with snacks and coffee, they find themselves in her huge dressing room, the fitting already in full swing and she's already filled him in on tomorrow night's event, the film and her projects, so they are enveloped in peaceful silence, albeit briefly.
"So," she says after a while, trying to muster up the courage to ask the question burning on her lips that barely let her sleep last night.
"How is life? How's LA treating you?" she chickens out.
"Oh good, good," he replies quickly. "I don't think I'll ever really settle there to be honest and it's always way too hot, but really that's complaining at a high level," he quips. "Busy, you know how it is."
"Yeah, I can imagine," she says thoughtfully.
She has, after all, seen the pictures on social media. If those are to be believed, Jade is incessantly on the road, running from gig to gig, one concert after another, one interview after another, a hundred business projects. She follows her former band mate's career closely and always sees how top styled she is or how Zach always poses by her side. She knows that they are inseparable. She is all the more pleased that he is here today at all. But she also knows that if there's anything she wants to know, he's the one who would know.
"What else do you have planned today?" she asks first.
"Oh, not much. I'm gonna go to the flat, check on things and pick up Mimi, you know, so she doesn't have to see Jordan," he says without really thinking. But he quickly realises that he has brought up the subject, the person, even though he didn't mean to. Leigh and his gaze meet for a moment before they both fall silent. She would love to know more, to ask something about Jordan, to finally find out what happened back then. She and Perrie have no idea, they would never be privy to it. They have so many questions that Leigh doesn't even know where to start.
Question number one, which she has never asked and finally wants to understand, is why Mimi is with Jordan so often.
"Why isn't she with Jade?" she ventures slowly.
"Flying stresses her out too much, Jade doesn't want to do that to her. That's why she's with Jordan when Jade's in LA," he explains tersely.
"And when she was on tour? Or when she's travelling around?" she questions, remembering all the pictures and videos from various promo tours.
"Then she's usually with Jordan, too..." he says without looking at her. "Or with Holly. But as soon as she's home, she gets her."
"Good, she loves that dog way too much not to see her," Leigh sees too.
"That's true."
"It's almost like a divorce and they share custody," she thinks aloud then and has to smile at the thought, but for Zach it brings back rather unpleasant memories.
"Yeah, almost," he laughs sadly.
Little does she know that now, but she's not even remotely satisfied with the information she has about Jade, which is basically void. Rather, she feels like the more Zach vaguely tells her, the more she realises that they are growing further and further apart. She needs to know more, she needs to know what is actually going on.
"Zach," she says then in a heavy voice and he already knows exactly what she wants to say. Who it's about to be about. "Tell me, how is she?" she dares to ask then, it's a start after all.
He closes his eyes tensely and searches for the right words, but they won't come to him.
"Um," he says out of embarrassment. "Well, she's...well...all right...I guess," he stutters, not even believing himself. And when he sees Leigh's look in the mirror, he knows immediately that neither does she.
"She's stressed," he then understates. "She's got a lot on her plate and...yeah...she's doing okay," he's more or less honest.
Most of all he would like to tell her about his worries. That he knows she doesn't eat enough and has for a long time. That he knows she won't make it through the day without sleeping pills and stimulants the next day. That he feels personally that she drinks too much. That he feels there is something else bothering her that she just doesn't even tell him. But he doesn't dare, he can't bring himself to be that honest. Because he promised Jade not to be.
"That sounds great," Leigh-Anne says sarcastically, and despite everything he can see the worry on her face.
"She misses you like crazy," that's the truth, he knows that for a fact, even if she hardly admits it openly herself.
"She has a funny way of showing it," Leigh mutters, and you can hear her anger at that.
"I know she doesn't check in that often," he admits, but she beats him to it. "She doesn't call at all," she clarifies. "We agreed to talk on the phone every week, that became every month. Do you know when it was the last time?"
He avoids her gaze, already guessing it's been way too long and also knowing he doesn't have a good excuse ready.
"Three months ago," she says in a heavy voice. "It's been even longer with Perrie," and he has to swallow the lump in his throat, knowing himself how stupid that is and wishing it were different. But what can he do.
"It's radio silence on her part," she clarifies.
"I know," he says quietly, but she talks herself into a rage.
"The last two times we had a date as the three of us, she cancelled. It's been almost a year since we last saw her, Perrie was even still pregnant back then!" she says forcefully.
"Leigh, I know all this, believe me and I remind her often enough, but most of the time when she says she's busy, she's really busy," he defends her.
"She avoids us," she persists. "If we ever want to come back as a band, she'd have to at least still want to keep in touch."
"She wants that too it's just...it's complicated," he explains with little satisfaction.
"It can't be that complicated," she shakes her head disdainfully.
"Please believe me, it is," he tries to clarify, looking deep into her eyes and sure enough, Leigh falls silent, eyeing him thoughtfully.
"I know she's horrible to you right now, but...don't give up on her. She's always done everything for you guys and right now she's just...she's...she's doing..." he doesn't dare to word it, he doesn't even know how. "She's not doing so well, okay?"
"I'm losing my patience, Zach," she's honest.
"I get that," he says sadly. "But I know she actually needs you, even though she might be telling herself otherwise at the moment. Just...maybe just give her a call," he then suggests, knowing full well how daring that is.
"She'd have to answer her damn phone for that," Leigh murmurs softly.
"I'll make sure she does," he persists.
"Honestly, it's the last time I'll try," Leigh clarifies, which makes him close his eyes sadly before he can only nod. At least he understands her.
But when the fitting is over and she thanks him warmly and bids him farewell, his last words to her keep running through her mind. Actually, she is convinced that after the radio silence, after being ignored, she doesn't need to chase after her any further and yet the few revelations he revealed hit her hard. She already had such a suspicion after all the pictures of her, after always stalking her, but it seems she is not in the best state and it hurts her. She was after all her bandmate for many years, still is basically. But more importantly she was and has been one of her best friends for 14 years, she's like a sister. And in a family you should stand by each other even in hard times.
After all this brooding, she decides to pick up her phone. But she doesn't dial the contact Zach asked her to.
Meanwhile, Jade and Harry have had their first really successful day of writing. She can hardly believe it, but the song is written and ready. Now they just have to work on the melody and although they could have used some help, they decided to try it on their own first. The atmosphere today was, much to Jade's surprise, not only good, it was outstanding. She would never have expected it, especially after yesterday, but today she almost thinks she has got to know Harry on a very profound level. Maybe that's just what happens when you're forced to write a heartbreaking song together. She just hopes she's not wrong about him or that she can trust her own judgement.
They sit together in peaceful silence, mulling over the melody, when Jade glances at her phone for the first time since she entered the studio. And her eyes almost fall out of her face. She sees the time. But worse than that. She sees the messages, the countless messages, the missed calls.
"Shit," she curses loudly and jumps up. Faster than Harry can even look, she has already packed up her things and is on her way to the door.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go like right now," she explains hastily, which also makes him stand up.
"Did something happened?" he asks, worried she may have received bad news. If only he knew.
"No I...I just forgot something," she says, wanting to run out of here, but he touches her tenderly on the arm.
"Just wait for one moment," he asks her and even though everything in her screams against it and she knows she needs to get going as soon as possible, she stops.
"I meant what I said. If something is bothering you, you can call me. Anytime," he tells her forcefully, because he can't shake the feeling that it's very necessary to mention it again.
"Thank you," she says curtly and looks into his bright eyes, for a moment too long. Suddenly he hugs her. Not long, not too tight, just like friends do, but it surprises her so much that she has to pull herself together very hard not to flinch.
"Take care," he says with a grin, seemingly oblivious to it.
"See you tomorrow," she replies and runs out of the studio.
In the car she takes another look at her phone, notices how she is still getting bombarded with messages and would prefer to ignore them all until it suddenly rings. The name on the display surprises her, she hadn't expected him. At least not yet. But with him, she can't not answer.
"Hey, Zach, everything okay?" she asks immediately.
"Of course, everything's fine. Me and Mimi are chilling in bed," he explains.
"Already?" she asks, confused, until she really looks at her watch again and realises how much late she actually is. "Why are you awake? It's the middle of the night over there."
"Jetlag all the way, Hun", he explains.
"So...you've already been to...", she hesitates to ask.
"Jade, what have you been doing today?", he laughs. "Of course I've been to Leigh's hours ago," he says cautiously. "As you said, it's the middle of the night here."
"Oh," she just remarks. "How is she?" she then dares to ask.
"Fine, but she's been asking about you."
"Of course she did," she mumbles, shaking her head. "Can we talk about this later, I really need to..."
"No," he interrupts her quickly and she is so surprised by this that she actually falls silent.
"I'm sorry, but no. We can't. She's pissed, Jade."
"Okay," is all she manages to say.
"I convinced her to call you," he explains and she just shakes her head.
"Zach, I really don't have the time for this right now," she says wearily, tired of the whole subject and everything it entails.
"I'm being completely honest with you now," he says forcefully. "I don't know how many more chances you're going to get. If you still care about the girls, and I know you do, or if you ever want to get back together, don't blow it now."
"Maybe I don't want to," she mutters, not believing a word she says herself.
"Don't talk shit, we both know how much you want this deep down. If she calls, pick up your damn phone," and he doesn't even allow her to say anything else back because he's already hung up.
She wrestles with herself whether she should really listen to him, whether she should really make a move, whether she is even ready for it. But the longer she sits in the car deep in thought, the more she catches herself secretly hoping the call will actually come. But it doesn't, at least not during the drive.
As she gets out, she reluctantly puts one step in front of the other. Her body literally refuses to go any further, but her head knows she has no choice and takes charge. Outside the door, she takes several deep breaths, trying to breathe courage into herself, knowing full well that this strategy has never worked before, at least not in this situation. But before she can muster the courage to ring the bell, before she can properly brace herself, the door suddenly opens. There he stands, tall, muscular and with a look of anger and disappointment.
"You're late," he remarks in his deep voice.