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Paper Rings
chapter twenty three
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SHE SHOULD BE USED TO HER PHONE RINGING. That's literally her job. She answers phones for a living. But every time it rings, she jumps. With a sigh, Evelyn picked up the device. "Hello, this is Dunder Mifflin customer service. This is Evelyn speaking. How may I assist you today?"
"Dwight has a thing for the purse girl."
It was Jim. His voice was hushed. Her brows lifted. "Not surprising," she replied. "Is this supposed to interest me?" Jim snorted. She could picture him leaning back in his seat. "We need your help."
Her mouth opened. It was a prank. Her eyes began to sparkle with excitement. "Oh!" she replied, unconsciously sliding closer to her phone. "Okay, what do you need?"
There was a rustling on the line before a question was pelted her way. "How do I talk to her?" It was Dwight. He seemed genuinely nervous about it. A tiny twinge of guilt tickled her stomach, but she pushed it down. "Well, maybe compliment her. Tell her she has beautiful eyes. Or that she has a nice laugh."
"What about her breasts?" Dwight asked. Evelyn's mouth opened to respond, but Jim seemed to beat her to it. "Dwight, no."
"Okay," Dwight said. "Her eyes. What about her smile?" Evelyn grimaced. "Maybe stay away from that right now. Sometimes it can come off as a bit creepy." Another familiar sound filtered into her ears, followed by a chuckle from Jim.
"Maybe Evie could come help you practice," Jim suggested, his voice strained. Her eyes automatically narrowed in a glare. Dwight gasped, the sound soft. "That's– That's not a bad idea. Evelyn."
She sighed, "Dwight."
"Meet us in the break room." She rolled her eyes silently. She was all for a prank. Sure. But now? "Alright," she replied. "See you in a sec." She didn't give Dwight enough time to answer. She hung up her phone and leaned into her chair.
To prank or not to prank. That question hung silently in the air as Evelyn sat there. Her fingers worked at a loose thread on her trousers. It wouldn't hurt. And, who knows, maybe it might work in Dwight's favor. He's not an awful person to be around. Sometimes, at the very least.
With another sigh, Evelyn stood from her seat. She walked right out of the annex and toward the break room. Jim and Dwight were already there. The shaggy haired man smiled at her as she entered. Dwight looked nervous. "Good. You're here," he stated calmly. She nodded.
"Dwight," Jim began. "Pretend Evie is the purse girl."
"Katy," Evelyn blurted out. "Her name is Katy." Jim nodded, fingers snapping. "Pretend Evie is Katy."
Dwight's face screwed up as he met Evelyn's eyes. Her own brows puckered in confusion. "Introduce yourself," she whispered. Dwight stepped forward, hands in front of him. His face continued to contort into confusion as he stared at Evelyn.
She wasn't sure she liked that. She wasn't sure she felt comfortable doing this anymore with the way he looked at her. Jim was silent, his own mark of confusion left on his features. Suddenly, Dwight sighed. "I can't do it," he exhaled. "I can't picture you as her."
"Yes, you can," Jim argued. He stepped up behind Dwight, large hands taking his shoulders. "Just picture red hair and green eyes—"
"Bigger bosoms," Dwight said. She frowned, her arms crossing over her chest. "No. No, Dwight," Jim stated. He gave Dwight's shoulders a tight squeeze. "Just... introduce yourself. And ask for her name."
Dwight glanced toward Jim with furrowed brows. "Evelyn just told me her name," he argued. "I already know her name."
"It's polite," she spoke up. "Just go with it. Okay?" Dwight nodded reluctantly before clearing his throat. His eyes once more met Evelyn's. "Hello," he greeted her, a small smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "My name is Dwight. I'm not sure I caught your name earlier."
Jim clasped his hands together and pressed his pointer fingers against his smiling lips. Evelyn cleared her throat. "Hi, Dale. I'm Katy." Her top lip curled as she fought back a laugh. Dwight, however, did not seem amused. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Let me start over."
She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked up at Dwight with soft eyes. "Hello, Dwight," she cooed, batting her lashes. "I'm Katy. It's nice to meet you."
Something inside of Jim tightened. His smile faltered, fingers tightening around his own hands. "You have... very pretty eyes," Dwight continued, relaxing slightly. A soft giggle left her grinning lips. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you."
He wasn't sure where to go from there. Dwight glanced toward Jim expectantly, his shoulders tensing. The other man shrugged. "I, um, see you're selling handbags. I'm a bit of a salesman myself." Evelyn's nose scrunched up slightly in amusement. Her head bobbed in a nod. "You know, I could use some tips on how to be..." she stepped toward Dwight hesitantly, her arms moving behind her back, "the best saleswoman I could be."
Bad idea, Jim thought. This was a bad, bad idea. Dwight swallowed nervously, peering down at Evelyn. "I'm sure I could give you a few pointers," he stated, tone going an octave higher. "Maybe I could give you my number so we can talk... sales."
His face flushed beet red. Dwight took a step back to steady his breathing. Evelyn seemed to catch on that their little workshop was over. She clapped her hands in excitement for the bespectacled man. "You did well, Schrute!" she exclaimed with a beaming smile. Jim couldn't help but frown.
"Really?" he asked. His throat felt dry. Evelyn nodded her head. Her eyes flickered toward Jim. "Didn't he?" she asked the giant in the corner. He blinked, brows shooting into his hairline. "Oh, yeah," he agreed, avoiding her eyes. "You did awesome. You'll get her number in no time."
Something didn't feel right. He had felt the same way when he heard her talk about her date. It was a sinking feeling. Like his stomach had filled with rocks and he was slowly submerging into murky water. He knew it was happening and yet he could do nothing to stop it. And it made him feel sick.
Jim had been so distracted by that icky feeling that he hadn't noticed Dwight leave. He hadn't noticed her fingers circle his wrist, or her tugging him toward the blind covered window. He didn't notice any of it until she had snapped her fingers in his face.
"Earth to James Halpert," her voice filled his ears in a singsong tone. His eyes blinked a few times before focusing on her. "What's on your mind, big guy?" Her hands fit at her waist as she shifted her weight onto her left foot. Her hip jutted out slightly as she awaited his answer.
He wasn't sure what he could say without crossing that line. "Nothing," he replied with a dismissive snort. Her mouth cracked into a smile that plumped up his cheeks. "I was just replaying a few scenarios in my head."
Her arms crossed over her chest and, though she wasn't convinced, she let it go. "Oh, yeah?" she asked, her tone light. "Is there a possibility Dwight might actually get the girl?"
Silently, Jim turned toward the window. He separated two blinds to spot the two. "Remains to be seen," he admitted. Besides, he might have other plans.
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JIM
I think my plan may have backfired a bit.
[ HIS FACE IS FLUSHED AS HE RECALLS WHAT HAD HAPPENED BETWEEN DWIGHT AND EVELYN. THE CAMERA THEN CUTS TO DWIGHT. ]
DWIGHT
I think his plan worked out perfectly. Evelyn is a very skilled teacher. I was impressed.
[ THE CAMERA CUTS TO EVELYN. ]
EVELYN
That was weird.
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It was strange for Dwight to suddenly barge into the annex with a wild look in his eyes. Typically, when he needed her, he'd call her or send a letter back. But this was different. This was worrisome.
Dwight rounded the wall with a glint in his eyes. "Evelyn," he blurted out, eyes wide and peering down at her. She startled, turning to face him. "Dwight," she replied, her eyes flickering from him and the camera crew following him.
"Michael is driving Katy home after work." Evelyn's head tilted to the side a bit curiously. That was a surprise, definitely. Michael had no game. He made women uncomfortable. Why would she agree with that? "Weird," she muttered under her breath, pressing a finger to her lips.
"Michael is driving the pretty purse lady home?" Kelly asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Evelyn and Dwight glanced toward the brunette with similar expressions. "Oh, no. That poor girl."
Dwight shook his head free of the interruption. "What do I do?" he asked. She sighed. Fingers ran cautiously through her hair. "Did you get her number?" she asked. He shook his head. "I gave her my email."
"Email?" Kelly asked in disbelief. "What are you, fifty?" Dwight frowned. His head turned toward Kelly. "I don't believe I was speaking to you."
"Whoa, okay," Evelyn blurted out before the tension could get too bad. "Dwight, she's also a woman who could help with your lady problems." He rolled his eyes, but gave in. He could use all the help he could get. "Fine. Help me."
Evelyn eyed the bespectacled man, crossing her arms over her chest. Dwight met her eyes and with a sigh, let a single word fall from his lips. "Please." That singular word was enough to have Evelyn smiling. "Alright. Well, let's be honest. You've probably got a better shot than Michael."
"Why's that?" he asked. His hands found purchase on his hips. Evelyn sighed. She hadn't exactly wanted to get into that, but if he needs the ego stroke, she might as well oblige. "For one, Michael is very inappropriate. And he's also a wuss. You're self sufficient, strong, smart." He nodded along with the list. "That's true."
"You're actually handsome, too!" Kelly added with a beaming smile. Evelyn nodded in agreement. However, Michael wasn't ugly either. If his personality had been completely different, she would have been attracted to him. "You should be yourself," Evelyn explained. "Strike up a casual conversation. Be cool," Kelly continued.
Evelyn grimaced. She wasn't sure if Dwight could actually be cool. But she wouldn't say that. Dwight seemed to finally be feeling comfortable. He became a sponge. "You've got this Dwight. But if she doesn't reciprocate, don't be weird, okay? Accept the defeat and walk off."
"There's no way she'll say no, though," Kelly quipped proudly. Dwight visibly relaxed, a smile crossing his features. He seemed more confident now, and it was nice to see. He nodded his head. "Thank you," was all he said before leaving the annex.
The cameras remained for a moment, Kelly and Evelyn's eyes met for a moment, sharing a knowing look. After a beat of silence, the two turned back to their desks. Finally, the cameras left the annex and returned to the chaos that is Dunder Mifflin.
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KELLY
We're, like, love doctors. Evelyn and I make a really great team.
[ THE CAMERA CUTS TO EVELYN. ]
EVELYN
I really hope Dwight doesn't get hurt.