It was 5 am but Mark couldn't get any more sleep for the life of him.
He stared at the ceiling, too drained to get up.
"Why are you awake already ?"
"What are you doing here ?"
"I live here."
...
Mark wasn't in the mood to talk right now so he finally gathered all his strength to go get ready.
He stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom, his eyes puffy and red from the lack of sleep.
"Maybe you can conceal it with some make up."
"What ? Are you following me now.."
"Like I said, I live here."
"I need to get ready. Please stop now."
"Stop what Mark ? I'm just talking to you."
"I can't get ready when you're standing there behind me." He answered, leaning against his bathroom sink.
"I just-"
"NUEA FOR FUCKS SAKE I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY." He snapped, leaving Nuea speechless.
"I'm sorry. It will rain today, don't forget your umbrella." He said and left.
Mark stared down at his hands.
He didn't want to see his face right now.
Drained, unstable, aggressive..
"Good job Mark.." He whispered to himself and began to get ready.
He took a quick shower, hoping it would warm his cold skin, but it only brought back memories he tried so hard to surpress.
He dressed himself in a beautiful black suit, his heart aching thinking about the occasion.
"Hey Nuea ?" He said as he walked down into the kitchen.
"Yes darling ?"
"I'm sorry for earlier. You know today is a hard day for me and I didn't get enough sleep.."
"It's okay baby. I understand. It's not an everyday thing to attend a funeral and I'm proud of you for actually going. I will be right by your side, okay ?" The black haired boy smiled at his boyfriend, trying to comfort him.
"I know.. thank you."
"I love you Mark."
"I love you too Nuea."
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"Saying goodbye to a loved one in this world is arguably one of the most difficult moments to go through for family and friends. It is all the more important to say goodbye to this special person in a special, personal and individual way and to embark on a small journey through the life of the deceased together, since it is precisely these memories that stay with us forever and live on."
"Are you okay?" Nuea asked his boyfriend.
Mark was fighting his tears while listening to the pastors speech.
"Hm.." He said with a little nod, trying to not disturb other family members.
"He may be gone, but he will always live on in our hearts."
"Do you need a tissue?"
"No it's fine Nuea." The young boy answered.
"He was young but god needed him, so he took him away from our eyes, not our memories or hearts."
"You look very pale. Are you sure you're fine Mark ?"
"Hm.." He answered, finally breaking down in tears.
"So let's pray for this young soul that is now crossing over to the other side. Let's pray for Nuea who is now with God."
Mark tried his best to stay quiet.
"It's okay baby. I'm right here." Nuea said.
"Here." A voice from beside him said, handing him a handkerchief.
"Thank you Mae." He said and took it, wiping away his tears.
"You know my boy would be sad if he knew that his boyfriend stopped being himself."
...
"He loved your bubbly, smiling self. I'm sure he wants us to be happy while remembering him."
"She's right. I don't want to see you cry." Nuea said.
"Mae.."
"I wish I could see my baby one more time." She said.
"I will see you in your dreams Mae." Nuea said but only Mark could hear it.
Nueas mother turned around and stroked Marks cheek, smiling with tears streaming down her own face.
"Please try to find your smile again. For him."
Mark nodded, breaking down in tears again as she pulled him in a hug.
"It's okay baby." She said over and over again.
"Let us now accompany him on his last journey with us together." The Pastor said and everyone stood up.
Mark went over to the front where a young man handed him the picture of his boyfriend.
Nuea wanted him to be at the front, walking to his grave.
Mark looked at the picture in his hands, fighting back tears, when suddenly a hand covered Nuea's picture.
He looked sideways towards the coffin, seeing Nuea standing right by his side.
"I'll be right next to you baby. I'll walk with you to my grave. I promise."
Mark slightly nodded, turning around to face all of the family members.
He made the first step.
His legs felt numb and his vision got blurry again.
The next step.
Feeling like he's about to collaps.
"You got this baby." Nuea said over and over again.
Mark's brain couldn't even process what was happening when he suddenly stood in front of his boyfriends grave.
Hundreds of people behind him, waiting for him to start his speech.
"You can do it." His boyfriend whispered.
Mark took a deep breath before turning to look at the blank, crying faces.
"Hello everyone.." he said but stopped when he felt the tears coming up again.
...
"I would like to say a few things.."
...
"Nuea was a wonderful person. When I met him we were in 6th grade. I had a huge crush on him but all he had on his mind was football."
The people around him giggled, knowing exactly that this was nothing but the truth.
"When we were in the 8th grade, I had already given up hope, but that year, he invited me to our school dance. That was the beginning of both of us. Nuea helped me see the bright side of life. To laugh when things are going wrong and to keep going. He was such a gentle person. So loving and always took care of his friends and family."
...
"I.."
Mark's voice cracked and he looked down.
Sobbing was all that was heard until Mark heard a whistle.
He looked up into the crowd where Nuea was standing.
He pointed to his chest,right at his heart, signaling Mark to break away from his prepared text and speak freely.
He took another breath and finally turned around to face the coffin.
"Nuea, thank you for all the things I was allowed to experience with you. Our time was far too short, but you always managed to show me how much you love me. I've always dreamed of how it will be when we're getting married. Starting a family and traveling a lot. You always talked about what it would be like when we were old and shriveled. You even bet that you'd still look good when you were 90."
...
"When you got sick, you only saw the positive sides. You said you'd get better soon and once you're not ill anymore, we'd go travel a lot. I never thought I'd be standing here today, just three weeks after your 21st birthday, at your funeral, holding a speech."
...
"We have always said 'in sickness and in health.' and we really pulled through, tho it was the hardest thing we've ever had to do. Nuea..."
...
"I miss you so much. I miss touching you. I miss hearing you laugh, cooking with you and I miss that you reminded me to drink enough water every morning. I miss your smell and the face you made when you heard something you shouldn't hear. I miss you telling me how much you love me and I will miss seeing your smile when I tell you how much I love you."
...
He wanted to see this smile one last time.
Mark turned around to face the crowd full of people who were crying, screaming and hugging each other, but he heard nothing.
It was silent.
"I will always love you Nuea. I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than life itself." He said, making Nueas lips move up into a smile with narrowed eyes.
"I love you Nuea."
...
"I love you."
One more blink and Nuea was gone.
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Hello guys and welcome to my first VeeMark story!
I'm excited!
I've had the idea for this story for a long time and thought that now is the right time to post it.
I hope you will like it as much as I do :)
-Jessy