Apo was coming home today. Two days ago, after being wrapped around his mate in the hospital bed for over twelve hours, Mile had been shooed out by Doctor Win. He had been instructed to take Nolan home and get the house ready for the Omega to return too.
Mile had been worried Nolan would throw a fit at being away from his Papa again and wouldn't let Mile take care of him. To his complete delight, the pup was happy and wanting to stay glued to Mile. Having the pup be loving and needy with him again gave him a sense of hope and happiness. At least Nolan had forgiven him. He knew it was childish to look at it that way and Nolan was just a pup but it still made the big Alpha giddy with joy.
He had taken paternity leave from his job. His superior, Chan, was shocked and surprised but allowed him his two months leave. Ping had added he would hold down the fort while he was gone.
Being home, Mile cleaned the house, went food shopping with Nolan to stock the fridge and pantry, did all the laundry and changed the bed sheets. The house was clean, and Nolan was fresh from a shower with Mile. The Alpha had to improvise. Giving the very animated pup a bath always resulted in Mile getting wet anyways. So, he hung the pup holder he would wear when food shopping with Nolan to keep the pup against his chest—up in the shower from the steel reinforced shower head.
Mile washed himself quickly while Nolan clapped and blabbed half words at him. The Alpha had then taken the naked pup out if the holder and washed him while in his arms.
"Dada luv!," Nolan bounced, big grin on his face, dimples showing. The pup was too damn cute.
Mile kissed his forehead before turning off the shower and wrapped himself and Nolan in a large soft forest green towel. He left the holder in the shower to hang dry. The Alpha laid the pup on the bed while he rapidly slipped on his jeans and socks.
He never took his eyes off of Nolan, who was already turned over on his stomach and crawling around the bed. Mile grabbed the pup before he could get to the edge and put him back in the middle of the bed.
Mile picked up the footed onesie he had taken out and started to dress Nolan when he stopped. He forgot to grab a diaper. He picked up the giggling pup, yanked one of his t-shirt from the closet and hurried upstairs to Nolan's nursery. He powdered the pup's rump and secured a new diaper. He managed to dress Nolan in the onesie with minimal fuss and slipped his own t-shirt on.
The sound of car doors slamming shut made Mile turn towards the window. Pong and Tong were helping Apo out of the SUV.
Mile turned to Nolan who was sucking on the Alpha's old Iron Man t-shirt.
"Papa's home," Mile announced as the pup smile and clapped. Mile snorted as he picked him up and headed for the stairs. As the Alpha reached the landing, Apo was standing in the foyer dressed in fuzzy warm boots, a light pink maternity dress and his warm winter coat. It hung open for his swollen stomach.
"Papa!," Nolan cheered, already reaching for him. Mile closed the distance as Apo took Nolan from him and nuzzled the pup lovingly.
"Hi baby," Apo cooed at his pup. Tong and Pong stood behind Apo feeling out of sorts.
"Um, we are going to go. Call if you guys need anything," Pong quickly mentioned as he and Tong left the house quietly.
Mile couldn't take his eyes off of Apo, letting himself take in every detail.
"Do you want to eat something? I went food shopping. Maybe watch a movie or—," The Alpha started nervously.
"I just want to lay down," Apo interrupted quietly as he made his way over to the playpen and gently placed Nolan down.
"Ok yeah, sure Sweetheart," Mile's tone was soft and nervous. The endearment made Apo's heart raced. He hated how little control he had over how Mile made him feel. The simple word caressed him in the deepest ways and he wasn't ready to let Mile in.
He wanted to keep his distance and protect himself from ever feeling that heartbreaking pain the Alpha had subjected him to again. Part of him wanted to go upstairs to his old bedroom, but he wasn't strong enough to be away from Mile. So he slowly waddled down the hall and to their bedroom or was it still just Mile's? As he pushed open the door, he didn't hear MIle stop him but instead could hear the Alpha already playing with Nolan in the living room.
Apo closed the bedroom door behind him, the Alpha's strong and powerful scent potent. He inhaled deeply as he removed his coat and went to the bed. He laid down carefully; any energy he had left evaporated on contact.
The familiarity and the sense of home surrounded him. It gutted him. The scent reminded him of everything he had thought he would never get back. Mile had hated him for weeks. He had called him degrading names, tortured him by being so distant, and had even physically hurt him. All Apo had wanted was Mile to be near him; for the Alpha just to touch him. He hadn't because for months he thought Apo had betrayed him. Mile had thought he was a whore.
The Omega began to sob as all the sorrow he had kept inside rushed through his veins; destroying his soul. It crippled his very being. He knew deep in his heart that if he continued to feel these horrid feeling, they would surely be his undoing. Everything overwhelmed him. It was all too much to take in. This shouldn't have happened to him. Mile should have been there for him; he should have believed him. They were mates. Yet Mile through him away. He couldn't. He couldn't do this anymore. Everything hurt too much.
Apo's eyes snapped open. He wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping but it was dark outside from the lack of sunlight coming from the window. A movement on the other side of the room made him realise what had woken him. Mile was quietly slipping on sleeping pants, his back to Apo. As the Alpha turned towards the bed Apo closed his eyes in panic. He pretended to be asleep as he felt the bed dip slightly when Mile got into bed next to him.
"Apo?," Mile asked in a gentle tone to see if he was awake. Apo didn't respond and stayed still, curious as to what the Alpha wanted. Mile came closer, the heat radiating off of him like a beacon for the Omega.
Apo made himself stay completely still while absorbing his Alpha's essence greedily. He was proud of himself for not flinching when Mile's finger tips gently ghosted over his cheek, caressing him and then softly pushed his hair from his forehead.
"I'm sorry," Mile whispered, his voice filled with shame. Mile continued petting him lightly, needing to touch him. He boldly moved closer and wrapped his arms around the Omega, burying his face in Apo's neck and sighed deeply. The Omega let out a sleepy gasp and Mile nuzzled him.
"I'm so sorry," Mile pleaded quietly as his right hand slid down to Apo's swollen stomach and left it there. It wasn't long till Mile was asleep against him, snoring lightly. Apo laid motionless, staring up at the ceiling. He wanted so badly to forgive Mile. But he couldn't.
Everything in him twisted in a mix anger and happiness. It kept him confused as the Alpha buried his face deeper into his neck. He wanted to protect his heart. He was filled with insecurities and a real fear that Mile would hurt him again.
He didn't want to hurt anymore.
***
Apo hadn't realise Mile had taken a paternity leave until after two weeks of being back in the house. Tong had informed him one day during his almost daily visits. For the most part, Apo's days bled together. They were all the same. He would wake up, be with Nolan, nap, eat, and repeat.
He had no motivation to do anything. He didn't want to think, move, or make any sort of effort. He still did day to day things like taking care of his pup, but his mind wasn't there. It was better this way. He didn't hurt. He didn't feel. All the pain and suffering couldn't reach him.
Multiple times a day Mile would try to talk to him. He would ask him questions or his opinion on things. More often than not the Omega's answer was along the lines of he didn't care. Why should he? Those things didn't affect him. It wasn't that he was punishing Mile; that wasn't his plan.
He understood why the Alpha did what he did. All his life he was told he couldn't have pups, so it made sense he would act out in such a way. This was the Omegas way of protecting himself. All the feelings that circled around those events where the real enemy. It wasn't Mile; it was himself.
By removing that part, he felt free. Apo wasn't connected to life anymore. What happened around him; he wasn't a part of it. He was in a floating bubble that was outside of the messiness of his life. He was firmly behind a wall that would protect him from everything. Nothing could hurt him. Having it this way, Apo knew that he was safe.
***