Jimmy woke to the blaring sound of his alarm clock. I had been lying in bed awake for the last couple of hours. My stomach was twisting in a knot, and bile was rising in the back of my throat. I would swallow hard, and I prayed that it would go away.
Jimmy kissed my cheek and rolled out of bed. I watched as he stretched his arms up over his head as he walked into the bathroom.
I rubbed my stomach, and my throat felt like it was starting to contract. I let out a deep breath and hoped that I was not getting sick. I may have caught something from being out in the cold yesterday. The flu was not something that I wanted to deal with right now.
At a slow pace, I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and sat. The bathroom door opened, and Jimmy came back into the room. I pushed myself so that I was standing, and my knees wobbled underneath me. My hand stayed on the bed to steady myself.
Jimmy was searching through the drawers but stopped to take a look at me. He raised an eyebrow, and I assumed my face looked flushed.
"Are you alright, Julie?" he asked.
"I'm okay." I took another step forward.
The last step was too much for my stomach. I had to put my hand over my mouth and run as fast as I could into the bathroom. Fear shot through me that I would not get to the bathroom in time and I would have to spend the day scrubbing the carpet.
I got on my knees in front of the toilet and I began throwing up. One hand was bracing myself on the seat, and my other hand was pathetically holding my hair back.
Jimmy ran in beside me and got down onto his knees. His hand moved the rest of my hair out of my face. I took in a sharp breath, and an awful taste filled my mouth.
"You're not okay," he said.
"No, I am," I said.
Talking caused my throat to constrict. I gagged and then continued to vomit.
"See?" Jimmy said. "You're sick."
I pulled away from the toilet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. My shaky legs tried to support my weight as I stood up. Jimmy slid his arms around my back as he stood with me.
"I'll be fine," I told him.
"No," he said. "You're going to bed."
He slipped his other arm under my knees and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and my stomach twisted with every step that he took. I pressed my face into his neck, and I took light rhythmic breaths to stop myself from being sick.
I let go of him when he placed me down on the bed. He pulled the blankets up over my body and tucked me in. He pressed his lips against my temple. My heavy eyelids closed. I listened as Jimmy moved around the room. The door closed, and then a couple of minutes later it opened again.
He kissed my cheek again and I forced my eyes to open. Jimmy had on his dirt-stained jeans and jacket. He was sitting on his heels, and his lips lifted into a faint smile when he saw me open my eyes.
"I've got to go now," he said. "I left you a glass of water on the nightstand. Also, I got you a bucket."
"A bucket?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "In case you feel sick and don't think that you can make it to the bathroom."
"That's lovely," I mumbled.
"I need you to stay in bed all day. I love you, so I need you to feel better."
He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and I let my eyes close again.
"Thank you," I said.
There was an odd weight at the end of the bed. The weight moved up and then stopped beside me. I opened my eyes a crack to see Buster lying down on Jimmy's side of the bed. Jimmy snapped his fingers at the dog.
"Come on, Buster," he said. He continued to snap his fingers and he let out a whistle. Buster looked up at him before settling himself on the bed. I reached out and scratched his fur.
"He's not bothering me," I told Jimmy.
"Fine." Jimmy gave Buster a quick pet. "Make sure to take care of my girl, Buster."
The last thing I heard was Jimmy's footsteps leaving the room.
--
When my heavy eyes opened again, Buster was still curled up on Jimmy's side of the bed. I rolled onto my back and felt my muscles stretch and contract. The bright red lights from the clock told me that it was ten in the morning. I had been sleeping for almost five hours.
I propped myself up on one elbow. My dry throat ached and I still had the disgusting taste of vomit in my mouth. I reached out for the glass of water Jimmy left me and drank it slowly.
My muscles ached as I rolled onto my back. Buster let out a deep breath. I placed my hand on his fur. My stomach was queasy and I hoped that I wouldn't be sick again.
I couldn't believe that I was so dumb to go outside without a jacket. I didn't even have shoes on, and we were out in the cold. I silently cursed myself.
My heart fluttered and I almost threw up again. There was another possibility that came to my mind.
I could be pregnant.
I tried to count back the days to the last time I had my period. I rarely saw a calendar, but it must have been two months since the last time I had it.
I moved my hand over my stomach. How could I not notice? Jimmy and I were trying for so long, so how come neither of us realized?
Jimmy would be so happy when I told him. Our family was going to officially start.
A flare of panic exploded in my chest as I thought about our baby. What if I was carrying a girl? Tradition says that Jimmy would have to kill her, but surely he would reconsider once he saw our daughter. Taylor did not when Emme had her girl though.
Even if it was a boy, what if I wouldn't survive? I could die while giving birth. It happened all the time to women who did not give birth in a hospital.
What if I didn't even deliver? Miscarriages are common. There had to be some kind of punishment for not being strong enough to carry a baby.
I let a groan escape my lips and I curled up into a ball. I tried to go to sleep, but my mind would not stop. All I knew was that I would have to tell Jimmy when he came back inside.
--
It was past six o'clock when I heard someone come into the house. I could hear them moving around in the kitchen. Jimmy told me to stay in bed, so he must be cooking dinner for me. I wanted to run downstairs and help him, but I knew that it would be a bad idea.
I sat on the bed and stretched my sore muscles. I lifted the heavy blankets up off me, and I put my feet down on the cold floor. I took a few steps, and holding onto the wall became a necessity to stay on my feet. My head spun, and I had to run to the bathroom.
As quickly as I could, I made my way to the toilet and got down on my knees. I grabbed a fistful of my hair and held it back from my face. I emptied the contents of my stomach, which wasn't much, into the toilet. I hoped I wouldn't feel like this for long.
After flushing the toilet, I dragged my feet back to the bed. I drank the rest of the warm water that was in the glass that Jimmy left for me. I curled into a ball and threw the blanket over me. I closed my eyes but did not fall asleep.
The bedroom door clicked shut. Jimmy came in and sat down on the bed. Buster was in between us. I rolled onto my side so that I could see him.
"Have you been taking good care of my girl, Buster?" he asked as he scratched his fur.
Buster responded by looking up at him and licking him under the chin. Jimmy smiled and turned his attention to me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"A little better," I said.
He pressed the back of his hand against my forehead.
"It does not feel like you have a fever," he said.
"I don't think I have the flu," I said. "I think it is something else."
"Like what?"
"I think I'm pregnant," I said.
His dark eyes grew big and looked down at my stomach. His lips curled into a wide smile.
"Really?" he asked.
"I think so," I said.
Jimmy snapped his fingers at Buster and the dog jumped off of the bed. Jimmy slid closer to me. He moved the blankets down and my shirt up so that my stomach was exposed. His cold fingers ran across the warm skin of my belly and I shivered. I curled in toward him, and I rested my head against his chest. His cold fingers continued to graze across my stomach.
"We're going to have a son," Jimmy said in disbelief.
I looked up at him to see him staring at my stomach. I leaned up so that I could brush my lips against his neck.
"Finally," he said. "I can't believe this is finally happening."
"I'm so happy," I said.
He looked down at me and kissed me, but did not take his hand off of my stomach. I wiggled closer to him, and he must have thought that I was cold. He lifted the blankets and tucked them around me. He brushed my hair behind my ears and kissed my forehead. He still had a wide smile plastered across his face.
"I can't wait to tell our family," he said.
Maybe bringing another boy into this family would make up for the way that I acted at Noah's. The thought of Emme cradling her belly made me shiver. I did not want to be having a little girl.
"I'm going to go tell Dad now," he said, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.
"Wait." I sat.
He spun on his heels and looked at me. He shook his head as he watched me pull the blankets off him. I did not want to be alone. I wanted to be in bed with Jimmy holding me.
"Julie, you need to stay in this bed," he said. He gently pushed me back down onto the bed and pulled the blankets back up. "I want you to rest up. It is good for you and the baby. I'll bring you a glass of water and something to eat when I get back."
He had his knee on the bed and was leaning over me. His hair was hanging out from behind his ears. Shadows were cast across his face hiding his scar.
"Thank you," I said, running my hands through his hair.
"Get some sleep," he said. "And I better not find you out of this bed."
"Okay," I said. "I promise to stay here."
"Good girl," he said before hurrying out the door.
I listened to Jimmy run down the stairs. He was excited to go tell his father. This is what they were all waiting for since I got here.
I closed my eyes and thought about Jimmy and I holding our baby boy.