Lia
There's a heavy silence in the car as Xavier speeds down the road. Treacherous rain pelts down from the night sky making the asphalt wet and dangerous. I trust Xavier with my life but he's hitting a dangerous 180 and my anxiety is going haywire. Thunderous wrath has him shackled, he's completely lost in his cruel daze.
Rhea left the restaurant to go to her mother's and we were supposed to go back home but the heavy rainfall made it a little risky for us so Xavier is taking me to his mother's house which isn't that far. I'm a little thankful for this little inconvenience because something inside me doesn't want him to be alone tonight. Not after what happened at that dinner.
Hearing Xavier pour his heart out, wrenched my heart. I wanted to cry for that child that got neglected. The mother who got hurt by the one she loved. It's not fair. Xavier...is good and he deserves good things. He deserves to be loved.
I'm lost in my thoughts when we're suddenly stopping at the side of an empty, eerie stretch of road. Panicked, I look around me and see nothing but dark forests. Fear pricks at my insides. I hate the darkness and I hate creepy forests even more.
Why has he suddenly stopped?
Before I can ask him what's wrong, Xavier hastily unbuckles his belt, opens the door, and climbs out into the rain storm.
"Xavier!" I yelp in surprise and panic.
Xavier walks to the front of his car, the headlights beaming on him and I watch as he slicks back his hair in frustration.
Anxiousness and worry for him gnaw at my insides so, without hesitance, I open the door and step out. Immediately I get slammed with icy cold rain and it's torrential. I gasp as my dress gets soaked and my vision gets a little blurry but I shake off the shock and rush over to him.
"Xavier!" I yell over the thunderous sound of rain hitting the ground, "It's freezing rain, you're gonna get sick."
His eyes are blackened with wrath and aching anguish when he stares down at me.
"Is there something wrong with me?"
I flinch at his words.
"What?"
Contempt colors his features.
"Am I that fucked up to be loved?"
My heart freezes.
"Xavier—"
He tilts his head with a melancholic look.
"Am I that unwanted?" He whispers and it shatters my heart.
This is not Xavier, this is the kid that had been deprived of a loving relationship with one of the two important figures in his life. God, every time I think about what he went through as a child, it tears open my heart, leaving it to die on the floor like a massacre. I can't imagine how alone, how helpless he must've felt. But I would've never known he'd gone through such a terrible childhood if he hadn't told me. The guy reeks of strength, mentally and physically.
Sadness and anger for him soak me like the rain pouring down on me.
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
I've known this man to be so confident, so strong in the way he carries himself so to witness him resenting himself, pitying himself is heartbreaking and downright infuriating.
Without a second thought in my head, I grab his wrist to tug him into me and lean up on my toes to capture his lips with mine. With my eyes closed, I pour every bit of my affection and care that I feel for him. Xavier tenses, and he's not kissing me back. He's surprised, I understand. As am I. I didn't think I'd melt so fast for him but hearing him say those words about himself...it shattered my resolve for tonight.
As if breaking out of a spell, Xavier completely takes over the kiss. Capturing my lips in a brutal, hungry kiss. His hands knead my hips, his mouth ravishing mine like he can't get enough. I whimper when he bites my bottom lip but he's eating that sound up with pleasure.
After what feels like a century, I break the kiss but stay close to his body. Regardless of the icy rain, his body is warm. Xavier stares down at me with his wet hair draping over his gray-green eyes, his lips parted with an expression so infatuated that it flutters my heart.
"Unwanted? No...," I caress his cheeks with my thumbs, "You're a need, Xavier. Badly yearned for because you're a promise that I won't ever break."
<3 <3 <3 <3
"Thank you." I quietly say to him as I grab the clothes he gives me.
Xavier barely smiles before I close the bathroom door.
After being caught in the rain, Xavier hurriedly drove us to his mom's house. And boy, it's a huge house but you can tell Rhea really put her heart into her home so it doesn't feel like a museum. They are pictures of Xavier everywhere and when I pointed one out—him in a diaper—he got embarrassed. It was adorable. It didn't take me long to realize that this was Xavier's childhood home. I can only assume that Rhea only lives here because of the good memories of her and her son.
The hot water feels so soothing on my skin after being in the icy rain. For a moment, I close my eyes and remember how defeated and so hurt Xavier looked under the rain. And I know for sure, he cried. Though out of frustration but still I saw his red eyes. My heart aches with the image of the vulnerable hurt in his eyes.
I hate seeing him like that.
It makes me want to set the world on fire.
Yet his vulnerability is a strength in my eyes. He's not afraid to let his guard down, to pour his heart out.
How hard he fell in love with me...
Before I slip into a dark part of my thoughts, I turn off the water and step out. Wrapping a towel around my body, I wash my face with cold water. It sends a reliving chill down my body that I welcome. I can hear the rain storm from the bathroom and it's lulling. I just want to slide under the covers and close my eyes.
Stepping out of the bathroom wearing Xavier's boxers and t-shirt that reaches my mid-thighs, I find him sprawled on the bed on his back, staring at his phone screen. He looks enchanted with a cloud of longing and love so endear in his eyes, that I feel it in my soul. It's when I reach the bed that he notices my presence and locks his phone but I catch what he was looking at.
A picture of me that he took on my birthday. I'm laying on his chest, looking up at him with a beaming smile.
My heart flutters.
Is that how he looks when he's looking at me?
I know how entrapping his gaze is and how my entire being melts when he looks at me with those eyes but to witness him from afar...is unnerving.
He affects me in ways indescribable.
Xavier sits up and stares at me, his eyes raking down my body appreciatively. His hair is damp and he's also in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Is he going to sleep in the same bed as me?
Warmth races through my blood at the thought of sharing a bed with him after so long. I always loved sleeping beside him. I loved how he always held me by my waist, tugged me into his chest like I was his personal teddy bear. I always felt so safe like nothing could harm me.
Before I can ask him where he's sleeping, the lights go out. I gasp, my heart dropping to my stomach. The bedroom is pitch black, even the moon outside has been hidden by the revenging stormy clouds.
"Shit," Xavier grumbles as I hear him stand up, "I'll be right back."
My breathing picks up as I quickly slide into the bed and tug the covers to my chest.
I freaking hate the dark. It scares the living crap out of me. And with the way the wind is howling and the thunderous rain, I'm trembling. The rain collides against the window so mercilessly. The distant rustling of the trees and eerie winds are terrifying.
I'm so close to tears when Xavier walks back into the bedroom with two lit candles in his hands. Relief washes over me and I sigh. He places one candle on each of the bedside tables. The bedroom glows with a soft, warm, sensual ambiance that I'm thankful for.
Xavier finds me huddled under the covers and his lips tug up in a faint smile. He walks towards the door, and my chest deflates at the thought of him sleeping in a different bed. I guess that's good considering I asked for space.
I can't afford anything to happen between us.
It'll only weaken me and etch him deeper into my soul.
But those thoughts fly out the window as soon as thunder roars through the night sky.
Ohh hell no. He ain't leaving me to die.
"Can you...stay with me tonight?" My voice is shaky and my cheeks burn with shyness when he stops, turns around, and looks at me.
Xavier's shoulders relax and his eyes glimmer with contentment.
He closes the door and walks to the bed, placing his phone on the bedside table, Xavier reaches behind and takes off his t-shirt. I gulp as I gawk shamelessly at his abs, the sweatpants hanging low on his hips, his Calvin Kleins making my mouth water. The chain around his neck is like a leash I want to tug to bring him between my thighs.
He's doing this on purpose.
The psycho knows I love his body and he's torturing me with it.
I'm not annoyed that he took off his t-shirt. He's always slept without a t-shirt on. He gets too hot.
Lifting the covers, Xavier slides into bed and as soon as I feel his body next to me, serenity envelops me. My bare legs graze against the material of his sweatpants but it's enough for my skin to prickle with delicious goosebumps. My fingers clench around the duvet that's tugged up to my chest. He lies on his side, facing me and even though there's a breathable distance between us, his eyes tug on that invisible string that tethers us together.
We spend a quiet, warm moment just staring at each other. It's intimate and familiar and emotions tug on my heartstrings, threatening to bleed out on the bedroom floor. The words I said in the rain hang between us like a tempting, poisonous, sinful apple. I've never been so raw with him before with my words so I'm feeling a little unsettled but with the way he's looking at me right now, my anxiety disappears.
His eyes are a work of art. So ethereal, so enchanting, like a beautiful curse. The gray color is prominent but the speckle of green is like a faint wash of watercolor across a canvas. He's got eyes that capture a soul, and break a heart. The eyes that you can't stop dreaming about.
And I've seen those eyes under many emotions—anger, jealousy, happiness, serenity, lust. But my favorite is when they glitter with love.
I'm so lost in his eyes that when the rumble of thunder tears through the sky, I shriek and startle.
My heart starts thudding so fast.
Someone needs to sedate Zeus up there. He probably got caught cheating again. The unfaithful idiot.
Amusement colors Xavier's features as he tries to bite back a laugh.
"Still can't believe you're scared of thunder."
I blush lightly, feeling embarrassed.
"I can't help it. Even as a kid, I was scared. Like why does it have to be so loud? I swear to god, when it was that storm a few months ago, I was sleeping when it started to thunder and that flash of light made me panic. I thought that's it, our time is up. An asteroid has hit the damn earth. It's the end of the world. I was so close to having a heart attack." I babble with exasperation and nervousness.
I'm not even exaggerating. I got so freaked out, that I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and got so lightheaded.
Xavier chuckles and the sound is like silk.
"I missed your rambling." He says tenderly.
I gaze up at him from under my lashes, biting my bottom lip.
"Kinda bummed for being so scared of something naturally beautiful. I wish I was immune to it. Like I love the rain, the sound of rain, especially in the middle of the night because that's the best sleep I could ever get but I wish I could love thunder."
Xavier watches me with infatuation, with a ghost of a smile on his face.
Another bolt of lightning followed by the loudest thunder yet tonight makes me jump.
"No," I coo, "I'm staying up all night. I won't be able to sleep."
I'm frightened. It's too loud. And the lightning is too constant. No wonder the lights went out.
My thoughts scramble when he slides one strong arm around my waist and pulls me into his body.
"Not if I tire you out." Xavier utters with a raspy voice.
The insinuation behind his words makes my cheeks burn but my body scorches with desire so intense, my clit pulsates.
My eyes are level with his lips and my own tingle with the need to capture his. I eye his throat, my teeth aching to bite into his skin. To mark him. His skin is the color of honey and tastes sweet too. My palms which are rested against his chest move down a little until I can feel his heartbeat.
It's thundering just like mine.
Xavier moves the hand that is on my back down until he sneaks it under my t-shirt. My body erupts in pleasure and my skin tingles with butterflies when he kneads my bare waist. Then he moves that hand up and down my back, over my stomach, dangerously touching the underside of my boobs, grazing the waistband of my boxers—it's teasing and I think I'm going to lose my mind. When his fingers dip a little into the waistband, a shudder rolls through my body and I feel my arousal coat my thighs.
I'm not wearing my bra because it got soaked in the rain so my bare breasts are aching and I have no doubt that my nipples are poking through the t-shirt. Xavier confirms this when his eyes glide down and a smirk tugs on his lips. Like a psychopathic teaser, he removes his hand from under my shirt and runs it up my side, and grazes his thumb against my hardened nub. I airily sigh.
A deep, husky chuckle vibrates from his throat.
When he grabs my thigh to drape it over his hips, I breathily gasp when I feel his hard erection against my lower abdomen. My pussy throbs as my wetness drips out of me.
This man turns me on like a spicy novel. He's dangerously wicked with that way he pleasures me and I'm an addict for it.
"Tell me to stop, Lia," Xavier whispers lustfully, achingly against my lips, "Tell me you don't want this. Tell me you don't want to fuck me with your tight little cunt until I'm nothing but a breathless fucking wreck moaning your name as I come."
Dangerous, corrupt lust clouds my soul. My core and thighs are drenched. My breathing is uneven. And my body aches for his pleasure.
I grind my hips against his cock and a low groan trembles from his chest.
"Stop...," I breathe against his lips, teasing him with a feathery kiss, my eyes writhing in white-hot lust and seduction as I stare at him, "Stop talking and fuck me."
Xavier's eyes dilate and then he's on me.
Ravaging my mouth like a hungry, predatory animal. It's filthy, passionate, and damaging. Whenever he kisses me, it's with utmost intensity, affection, and raw emotions. But this...this kiss is a possession. He's leaving a territorial mark on my body and soul.
My fingers thread into his hair, caressing and tugging as he devours my lips as if he's fucking me.
His hand frantically tugs and drags the boxers off my legs. When I'm bare except for the t-shirt, Xavier molds my body to his with a hand on my lower back. I whimper in the kiss when the friction of my clit against his hard-on gets too dizzying. And when Xavier thrusts two fingers inside me as he bites my bottom lip, a shaky moan oozes from my lips.
"You're drenched." He mumbles against my lips.
I watch as he slides out his fingers, brings them to his lips, and tastes them. My stomach flutters and my aching sex is pulsating for more. He smiles like a satisfied devil before sliding those fingers back inside me. I rock my hips against his ministrations, chasing the orgasm I've been yearning for forever.
No matter how many times I touch myself, I can never get myself to that point of breaking where Xavier can get me.
Xavier is relentless with how he's fucking me with his fingers. Fast, deep and so, so painfully erotic. Each time he thrusts inside, the heel of his hand grazes against my clit and it's hypnotic. I'm turned on, a lot, so my arousal is evident and the sloshing sound only makes it more salacious. My chest rises and falls with how desperate I am for an orgasm.
Xavier buries his face in my neck, licking my skin like I'm his personal apple-flavored sucker. His own breathing is ragged as if seeing me fall apart under his touch makes him lose his breath.
"Fuck, I love the sound of your wet cunt. It makes me fucking crazy. It makes me want to fuck you so deep till you're filled with nothing but my cum." Xavier bites into my neck and I moan so loud that it mixes in with thundering rain.
When he wrenches his fingers out, my juices drip out and bathe my inner thighs. Frustration claws at me but when he brings those fingers coated in my arousal to my lips, my desire goes up in flames.
"Open." One word and I'm doing what he's demanding.
I part my lips and Xavier shoves his fingers down my throat. He goes in so deep that tears brim the corner of my eyes but I don't gag.
He's made me learn how not to with his cock before.
Xavier smirks like a devilish god.
"Filthy fucking girl."
My insides turn to jelly with his words.
He retracts his fingers, sucks them into his own mouth then crashes his lips on mine. I moan when he bites my tongue and sucks on my bottom lip.
"Fuck, I've missed your body. You've deprived me of it, Lia. I want to bury myself so deep in your body that you'll never question my love for you. You can't fathom how hard I'm trying to hold back from fucking you until you're a quivering mess, from bruising your fucking skin with my bite marks. You make me fucking crazy." Xavier so darkly and ruthlessly rasps those words.
I don't think I've ever felt so lightheaded before. I'm surprised I don't orgasm right then and there.
I'm deranged to find those possessive words hot.
He reaches underneath my t-shirt to grab my breast, squeezing it, massaging it. My mind is in a hazy trance when he pushes me onto my back and roughly spreads my thighs to slide between them. He slides off the t-shirt I'm wearing leaving me completely vulnerable underneath his massive body.
The moment Xavier hurls the t-shirt aside, he bends down and takes my nipple between his teeth. The sweet pain sends a rush of pleasure down to my clit and I'm writhing under him in no time. He lets go with a pop and trails his lips along my skin, my chest heaving so profoundly that my ribcage can be seen. His toned, muscular arms cage me against the bed as he makes his way down my body. His chain dangles from his neck and when its coldness grazes against my stomach, I tremble.
Thunder roars outside and the rain pelts down on the windows but I'm cocooned in Xavier's lust. The sensual glow from the candles makes his features so wickedly ethereal. Like a sculpture come to life.
My nails dig into his arms when he swipes his tongue along my slit. He groans and meets my eyes for a second—a second where I catch the nefarious smirk on his lips—before he's sucking, licking, biting my pussy.
I'm a writhing, hot mess. My back arches off the bed, my fingers gripping his hair tightly. My moans and whimpers curl out of me like steam from a hot shower. Xavier abruptly stops. I moan in frustration again.
He needs to let me come before I faint.
It's too much.
Getting off the bed, he rids the rest of his clothes. I gulp when I see how hard he is. His cock rests heavily against his stomach and when he climbs back on the bed, back between my thighs, I want him to ram inside me to end my misery.
But Xavier isn't done with eating me out. He caresses my thighs as he lowers his head when our eyes meet, he drops spit that dribbles down my slit. My eyes roll to the back of my bed at the sight that should be illegal. With his thumb, he swirls his spit and my arousal over my clit and the sensation is otherworldly. Then he slides his middle and ring finger inside my wet core. Leaning down, he sucks my clit into his mouth and a cloud of lust engulfs me. When he props back up, he stares at my pussy and what he's doing with so much fascination.
Happy with his decision, Xavier places his arm beside my head and moves over my body to take my lips in a dirty, seductive kiss. I cradle his cheeks as I kiss him. When he starts to heartlessly fuck me with his fingers, I grind and squirm against his thrusts. His wild pace is maddening and the sound of my arousal mixed with my labored breaths and the rain outside is so fucking overwhelming.
I tear my lips from his when a burst of pleasure shoots up my body and I'm coming. Hard.
My back arches off the bed, my breasts grazing his naked chest but he doesn't stop. Xavier rams his fingers inside me over and over again and I'm moaning and coming over and over again. He bites and sucks my neck, my breasts, my jaw but he still doesn't stop. My thighs are drenched with my juices and I know that I'm staining the bed.
I bite down on my bottom lip to stop screaming from the unimaginable pleasure.
"X-Xav—ah, fuck...stop!" I grip his wrist to push him away when it becomes too much.
With a dark, intimidating chuckle, Xavier wrenches his fingers out and grabs my jaw with the hand dripping with my arousal, squeezes my cheeks, and kisses me. My hands clasp at his wrist and kiss him back with the same ferocity he's kissing me with.
Reaching down between us, he grabs the base of his cock and slams inside me without warning. I gasp into his mouth and he eats it up like I'm dessert. He wrenches my arms away from where I was grasping at his and pins my wrists above my head with one hand. His other grabs my throat and his teeth bite down on the top of my breast. All the while he rocks into me with madness.
It's been almost three months since he's last been inside me so it's a little painful. But the foreplay has made me wetter than I've ever been so when his thrusts start to become sensuous, deep, and yearning, the sting of pain gradually fades.
"I miss you. I'm giving you space because I love you but please don't ever become a stranger." His sudden hoarse voice has me gawking at him.
His words dig inside my heart and tug at every possible emotion that I have leaving only his mark on my soul.
The thought of us becoming strangers...it kills me.
I need him in my life. I can't live without him.
But this time for us is fragile and so important.
Xavier rests his forehead against mine with his eyes snatching me in a spell that makes my whole body tremble with butterflies.
"I'll wait for you." Thrust. "And then we can start again." Thrust. "But know this, Lia." Thrust. "There won't be one moment where I don't think about you. Dream about you."
Xavier bites my neck making me whimper. My eyes flutter from not only his touch but his exposed heart. He lets go of my wrists and I wrap them around his neck. Our bodies are molded together with sweat dripping off of our skin like sweet honey.
"You're all I want. You're all I care about whether we're together or far, far away from each other." Xavier groans, burying himself in my nape.
"Trust me." Thrust. "I won't break your heart again."
I moan breathlessly as I come.
Xavier grunts as he feels me clench around him. Then lifts up, grabs my waist with his hands, and starts pounding inside of me with the intensity of a savage animal. The sight of the veins curling up his arms is provoking and so damn hot. His abs are tight and glistening with sweat. He rocks inside me so deep and with a rhythm so arousing that I can't stop myself from rolling my hips against his thrusts.
"Fuck, that's crazy." Xavier hotly groans as he stares at me swaying my hips up and down.
Each time I roll my hips up, his cock buries deeper inside me and grazes against my sweet spot. But before I can bathe in the wonderful aftermath of an orgasm, Xavier slides out. I glare at him but he only smirks.
With the grip he has on my waist, he flips me around, roughly tugs my ass up, and slams back inside me. I throw my head back with a shaky moan. My fingers curl into the bedsheet as the sound of skin slapping against skin damn near makes me come. I'm so wet that my arousal seeps out of me and drops to the bed and makes my thighs sticky.
Xavier slaps my ass and I gasp. Wrapping my hair around his wrist, he yanks my head back and starts to pound into me with an intimate pace that every time he slams inside me, he pauses then slides all the way out before sinking back inside. It makes me lightheaded and so freaking drunk in lust.
Snaking a hand around my stomach, he touches my clit and my eyes roll to the back of my head as the combination of his thrusts and ministrations on my aching nub throws me in a whirlwind of pleasure.
He's relentless.
So wicked.
Almost malevolent in the way he fucks me.
"Ahh! Ohh Fuck! Oh my god! Xavier!"
My moans only rouse him more. And it becomes too much for me that I'm whimpering, quivering trying to push his hand away from my clit. But Xavier only laughs like a devilish angel cast away from heaven.
My orgasm hits me like a bucket of cold water and I'm folding, dropping all my weight to the bed from the intensity of the orgasm. Xavier pulls out. We're both breathing raggedly. Falling down beside me, he doesn't even give me a chance to take a breath before yanking me into his body with my back to his chest and thrusting back inside of me.
My breath hitches and I groan softly, my eyes shutting with my head dropping back against his chest. I'm drowning in pleasure. It's sweet and aching. He roughly moves my thigh so it's thrown over his, grips my cheeks, and kisses me. My fingers fly to his wrist as he pounds into me. I practically scratch his arms.
I'm a disoriented mess under him.
My stomach flutters and tingles with a pleasure-doused flame. Goosebumps prick my skin as a ripple of my orgasm starts from my core and ends in my toes. My walls tighten around his cock as I come so wildly, that I see stars. Xavier grunts and drowns his moans in my mouth as he comes after me, spilling inside of me.
Xavier doesn't pull out, he simply and tenderly moves back to between my thighs, cages me against the bed with his arms, and rocks inside me with a slow rhythm. Our irregular breathing mixed with our sweaty bodies is intoxicating. But it's the pure affection in his eyes that has my heart captured in a locked tower far far away.
"I love you." He whispers.
The words dance along my lips like a haunting melody.
Those three words throw me off kilter.
They throw me back to that night when I found out we started off as a lie.
He lied to me.
And just like that, my heart goes cold.
Xavier must sense the change in my body language because his eyes flicker between mine in worry.
"I love you, Lia." He says it again, more assuredly.
I don't have the courage or strength to say those three little words back to him.
So I kiss him.
Xavier gets the message and doesn't push me further. When he pulls out, I turn over, and just like he promised, he tired me out. Sleep comes like a beautiful dream.