I felt like I did something bad. I hurt someone before they could hurt me
He's a playboy, he's only playing with you.
But is he though?
My thoughts confused me as I waited for Taylor to come see me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep on my couch before I felt someone put a cushion under my head and make me more comfortable.
I opened my eyes slightly and saw Lance and Gareth. I got up and sat straight to look at them.
"Hey, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up." Gareth said as he sat down.
"It's okay I fell asleep waiting for Taylor." I assured him.
"Are you okay?" Lance asked me, taking my hand and rubbing it softly. I let out a breath and looked at both of them.
"Not really. I messed things up... again." I told them and saw their expressions soften before Gareth opened his arms and I sat next to him while he hugged me.
"What did you do?" Lance asked me concerned, making himself comfortable in the couch across us.
"I'm afraid Lance. And I know you are too. I saw it in your eyes this morning and reality came crashing down on me." I said to him and he ran a hand through his hair.
"I'm not stopping you B, I'm just afraid for you. I saw you back then and I can't see you like that again. That's all." He answered and sighed.
"And also because Adam Thorne is an ass." Gareth said and chuckling and I giggled.
"I saw the way he looked at you, The way you looked at him. It's not right for me to stop you. I trust your judgement, but I'm afraid for you." Lance said to me and tensed.
"I know, I like him too. He told me he like me. And he asked me to be his real girlfriend and forget the whole whole fake-dating thing." I told him.
"Fake-dating?" He asked me confused and looked at Gareth who shook his head and then I remembered I hadn't told them about that, so I told him everything. They just sat silently and nodded.
"So now he asked you to be his real girlfriend? After one date?" Gareth asked me confused.
"Yeah. I told him I needed time to think and he said okay." I told them and Lance visibly relaxed.
"Good. Don't rush into anything your'e not sure about. Okay?" Lance told me and I nodded at him.
"And as far as you say you messed up, what did you do?" I sighed and told them everything including the fact that I told Adam that he was the problem.
Lance and Gareth sat silently then looked at each other before Lance spoke after a while.
"That's not good. If I know one thing, you didn't mean it. Tell him that. And as far as the past goes, forget about it. Move on. That's the only thing you can do. And I'll be with you every step of the way. Okay?' Lance said confidently.
I sighed and nodded. "Thank you so much. I needed to hear this."
"I love you B, and I'm willing to destroy worlds to see you smile. That's how much you mean to me so trust me when I tell you this; everything is going to be okay." He looked into my eyes and I relaxed.
"I believe you." I smiled at him, him smiling back at me.
I heard a chime on my phone and picked it up to see a message from Taylor and one from Adam. and I opened Taylor's.
"I'm so sorry Belle, I got caught up in work. Can I come tomorrow?"
I told her it was okay and then taking a deep breath I opened Adam's message.
"I'm sorry for crossing the line."
I gulped and looked at Gareth looking at my phone screen with his jaw clenched. He looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "Answer him. And fix things."
I answered the message.
"I'm sorry for snapping like that. Can you come over to my place tonight? We need to talk about a few things."
I hit send and waited for an answer. The phone chimed and I saw his message.
"Alright. I'll be there at 8."
I closed my phone sighing and relaxing into Gareth's embrace.
"I have some work to catch up on. See you Gareth." Lance got up and left and didn't know when I fell asleep in Gareth's arms.
I woke up to someone clearing their throat and opened my eyes slightly to see Adam standing over me.
I looked around, blinking a few times and saw myself lying beside Gareth on the couch. My back facing his chest while he slept peacefully with his arms around me, and my leg on top of his, a blanket barely covering us.
It was a compromising position to be honest, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.
I whispered slowly. "Gareth? Gareth, wake up." He turned a bit and looked at me before smiling then looking above his head at Adam staring down at us with his jaw clenched and anger clear in his eyes.
He groaned in frustration.
"Belle, I can see the devil in my dreams. You're there too." He whispered to me and I giggled.
"You're not dreaming. I'm here, get up." Adam said through clenched teeth making me chuckle and Gareth stirred, getting up slowly and holding me close so I wouldn't fall.
"I slept well, didn't you B?" He asked me innocently and I could feel Adam glaring daggers in Gareth's head.
"Hush Gareth. And get up, you've been drooling all over my couch." I laughed at him and shoved him away playfully when Adam cleared his throat again.
"I f I may have your attention, I need to speak with Rose immediately." He said and walked over to us.
Rose. He called me Rose again.
"Alright, alright, I'm going." He got up and looked at me.
"Fix it. I'll be in Arthur's room raiding his closet if you need me." I smiled at him before he left, facing Adam and giving him all my attention. He sat down on the couch opposite me and looked at me intently.
"Thank you for coming. I need to apologize first. About how I acted today in the office. Something came over me and I didn't mean what I said." I said and looked at him.
"You didn't?" He asked me confused.
"No. Truth is, I'm afraid... of you." I didn't look him in the eyes this time but I felt him come over and sit beside me. He spoke after a while.
"Why are you afraid of me?" He asked slowly.
I thought about my next words carefully. I didn't want to hurt him.
"You're amazing, and I can't stop thinking about you but I'm afraid of caring and feeling more than I'm supposed to." When he didn't answer I continued on.
Time to rip the band-aid off.
Band-aids don't fix bullet holes. I'm actually relating myself to a Taylor Swift song right now.
Tay would be so proud.
My friend Tay, not Taylor Swift.
I shake my head and will myself to speak to Adam who is now staring at me very intently, waiting for me to start speaking.
"I've been hurt before. A lot. But you already know that. My mom died when I was a kid. I loved her so much, and losing her made it feel like it was the end of the world. I tried my best not to think of her, not talk about her so it would ease the pain, but it didn't."
"I was only putting off the inevitable. I promised myself that I wouldn't care for someone the same way again, because I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of heart break, of letting go so much that I lost myself." I took a deep breath to steady myself and Adam took my hand, caressing it gently, making me relax.
"My dad married Josephine two years after my mother's death to take care of us, since he was always away at business trips. He tried his best to give us his time but to him it wasn't enough. Even though it meant everything to us."
"My brothers were sent to boarding school in England I was 14. She took that as an opportunity to torture me, beat me up because I didn't follow some rule or because I hurt Olivia's feelings. Tristan was her son but he was so good to me. He used to take my side every time." I chuckle a bit nervously and feel the tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
"When they came back I was bruised and hurt. Weak. Starved. My brothers refused to leave without me so they stayed here with me."
"Then when I was 19, I met Michael, in England where I went to study design." I noticed Adam's body tense beside me.
"I couldn't ignore the spark we had. Neither could he. He was a tourist there and a model, and I found myself drawn to him. We used to see each other whenever I was free and I used to show him the sights in London."
"We were joined at the hip. And like every other cliche story, I fell in love with him, and he with me. Although I'm not sure if he really loved me."
A tear drop fell down and I swallowed the emotion that was threatening to burst. Adam's grip on my hand tightened and I looked at him, staring at me intently.
"He left me, just like that, for some model in Europe. I got a text from him two years ago that he was done with me. That I didn't love him enough. He used me. He used my body, and that's it. It was over like it never happened." I took a deep breath to calm myself down, the tears now falling continuously.
"I was a wreck. Lance knows. Arthur, Tristan and Taylor know. I didn't eat for days and threw up whenever Lance made me eat things. They had to take me to the hospital numerous times because I used to faint or have panic attacks every now and then. I even tried to... hurt myself. Too bad I survived." I chuckled humorlessly as I furiously wiped my tears with my sleeve.
"Don't say that." Adam whispered, pushing my hair behind my ears.
"Lance found me bleeding. I saw the fear in his eyes. He didn't leave my side once this whole time. Arthur and Tristan had to go to England but Lance stayed with me through it all. Made me go to therapists, made me eat, walk, have fun, smile. He was there the whole time which is why he's so protective of me. He afraid for me."
"I closed myself in my house for the last one and a half year and just stayed in there when I was done with everything. I came out of my solitude nearly a month ago."
I felt Adam's arm come around me and pull me close to him. I didn't flinch, I didn't hesitate. I just rest my head on his shoulder while he held me close.
"Thank you for telling me everything. I understand, I really do." He told me and his arm tightened around me.
"Why do you cover your eyes?" I hesitated a bit decided to tell him.
"My relationship with Michael went public. He was a famous model and tourist, and I didn't hesitate when I was with him because everything felt right with him. They knew who I was. 'Michael Woods' girlfriend', 'The blue eyed beauty'. I wanted to hide myself from people." I took a deep breath as his hands played with my hair.
"They used to recognize me and call me out in public as his girlfriend even after we broke up, because my eyes made me different, and also because our pictures were everywhere." I chuckled a bit then realized something.
"I didn't know he had a sister, Milani. I saw her that day at the party, with you. He never talked about his family, not even to me so I thought he didn't have any." Adam tensed beside me knowing it was his turn to talk.
"Milani was... my first love. We met a few years back at a party. I felt an attraction to her. I never really had a girlfriend before, but I took a shot with her. We got together soon, and stupidly so, I fell in love with her."
"I realized my mistake when I went to her house one day to surprise her on her birthday. She was with someone else in her room. She cheated on me and I later found out she had been cheating on me for quite a long time. She was only interested in my money. Nothing else." He said, his fists clenching as his voice became angrier.
"I drank a lot, became an even worse workaholic to take my mind off of things. That is, until I met you." i turned to look at him but he was looking at the ground.
"You were like a breath of fresh air in my life, a light that brightened up my day. For some reason I wanted to be patient for you. Wait for you. and you make me nervous.." He chuckled, still looking at the ground. I smiled at him.
I make him nervous?
"I make you nervous?" I smiled looking at him, and he looked up at me finally and I could see the emotion in his eyes.
"Yes, you make me nervous as hell. You make me want to be better, for you. To wait for you." He smiled at me and I smiled back.
"You have such pretty eyes, and a really nice smile. You should smile more." I told him, touching his face and stroking his cheek gently.
He put his hand on top of mine as I cupped his cheek and I leaned forward to kiss him, giving him a small peck on his lips before pulling away.
"I'm sorry for this morning. I didn't mean the things I said." I finally told him and he nodded.
"I know, it's alright. But I have to ask you... is there something going on between you and Gareth? I saw you two sleeping here on the couch and even before. You both seem close." He said slowly, like he was thinking what to say.
"Gareth and me? No!" I laughed a bit.
"He's my cousin and like a brother to me. He was the one who told me ti talk with you and fix things. He was there for me when my brothers were in England." I told him and Adam smiled.
"Right. I still don't like him though." He said and I chuckled.
"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked him and he frowned.
"Jealous? Me? I don't think so." He chuckled and pulled away from me, already making me feel colder than I was before. His embrace kept me warm and now that his arms weren't around me, everything felt cold.
"So are we... are we good?" He finally asked me after a moment's silence.
"Yeah. We're good." I told him and I could see him relax.
"Does that mean I can ask you out on a second date? Tomorrow, maybe?" He looked at me hopefully and I smiled.
"Yeah, I'd like that." I smiled at him and we both got up.
"Will you stay for dinner?" I asked him but he shook his head.
"I have to go to my father's house. He invited me there for dinner. Rain check?" He asked me and I nodded my head.
"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow at.."
"5 pm."
"5 pm? Why?" I asked him dumbfounded.
"Why? Were you hoping to stay the night with me?" He looked at me playfully and I smacked his arm.
"I'm joking, relax. There's a fair tomorrow, and an art exhibition. I'd like to take you there." He said, making me excited.
"Okay then, I won't keep you any longer." I smiled at him and kissed his cheek before he left through the door with one last look at me. Taking a deep breath I plopped on the couch when Gareth came in.
"So, did you guys kiss and make-up?" He asked smiling.
"I guess we did." I said thinking hard with a small smile on my face.
"Good. Cause we're watching a movie!" He laughed and slammed the door closed and jumped on the couch with popcorn in his hands.
Where'd he get popcorn from?
I laughed at him and we both settled on the couch before opening Netflix to choose a movie.
Things might just be fine after all.
* * *
What do you think is in store for Isabelle and Adam as they start on this rocky path? Will things be good or will they take an unfortunate turn?
Keep reading to find out!
Question of the Day: What is your favorite movie?
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