Roc looked at me, and then at Prince. I couldn't say anything. I stared on the carpet floor, in guilt and embarrassment.
Prince stood there, his mouth half opened, in wondering what to say and what to do. Roc stood in the doorway waiting for us to speak. Then Prince spoke;
"Roc, honestly man, I can't explain. I really can't but I just wanna -"
"Get. The. Fuck. OUT!" Roc's voice thundered. I flinched in fear.
Roc's anger is something else. I could understand if he and I were in a relationship, if I were his wife, his fiance or something, but I'm not. The way he's acting right now is completely unnecessary.
Roc shifts to one side from the doorway, and stretched his arm out right out the door showing Prince the way out.
Roc didn't look at anyone or anything, he just stared down at the ground, his chest heaving up and down. Trying his best to hide his tears and sorrow, and show his anger and rage.
He slammed the door shut just as Princeton's heel came out the house. I cannot believe Prince actually just left like that, without even trying to stay.
I feel horrible. Here I was, enjoying Prince to the fullest, not to think once of how Roc would feel about this. This is precisely why I never do relationships. I'm not a homie hopper but I if I like someone and they're feeling me, then we can do something. I'm very flirtatious. But that's no excuse now.
"Roc, baby. Let me explain. Please." I plead gently as possible. I used the word 'baby' in hopes of softening him up a bit.
I step back when Roc moves from the door and steps towards me at the couch. He avoids eye contact with me.
He shoves his hands in his pockets in his basketball shorts, Nike shorts or whatever. I sigh heavily. "Go ahead." He says. I'm quite surprised but I do as told. I honestly don't know what I'm going to say, but I need him to look at me.
"Baby, look at me. Please." I step closer to him, and bend my knees to look at his face since his head is bowed down. My heart shatters as I see a tear fall off the tip of his nose. I did this to him, I hurt him. He's so sensitive.
I reached up and wiped his tears that fell down. I never ever want to hurt Roc like this. I rubbed my thumb on his wet cheek, hoping he would respond how I want him to. Tears came in my eyes, the biggest lump in my throat. I didn't know Roc loves me so much.
Thankfully, he allows me to touch him, and doesn't move my hands away.
"Please please look at me Roc.." I plead again. I gently lift his chin up. He seemed slightly surprised to see my eyes watery. I can tell he's never been loved before.
"YN, you don't understand. I..I feel so betrayed. I love you YN, I'm not the best at showing it but I do. Since a long time ago." He says, his voice hoarse. Another tear falling down. I wipe it quickly.
Roc is sensitive, Ray and I of all people know that. But I've never seen him so broken, and hurt. And it pains me that it's because of me.
"I love you YN, I love you" He kept saying. As he's crying, he slowly buries his face on my shoulder, I comfort him rubbing his hair, and wrapping an arm around his back. He hugs back tightly while mumbling words into my neck. "I shouldn't be mad at you and him but I can't help it..I.." He pauses and sniffs. "I'm too hurt right now."
"Let's go talk upstairs. C'mon."
I grab his hand, as he uses the other to wipe his face. Going up the stairs, walking to my bedroom, I see Megan in her bedroom, with the door wide opened. She looked sort of..please at first, then I see her gaze avert to Roc and our hands intertwined, she looked back at me then looked away.
In the bedroom. Roc and I cuddled together under the blanket. My hand still gently caressing his face, as he was smiling to the comfort of it, and holding my waist.
What a day, I had Prince all over me and now I'm laying with Roc. What am I really getting myself into.
"I'm sorry," I begin. But Roc talks before me.
"I know it was Princeton who came on you. I know, and it's okay." He's giving in too easily, I don't understand.
"Are you sure? You know I never ever want to hurt you like that..."
"I know." He says simply, looking at nothing.
He looks at me. The water in his eyes glittered in the darkness under the blanket. We smile at each other.
"I know one thing you can do to cheer me up." His voice is already cheered up, sounding more like the Roc I know. "And what's that?" I asks, raising my eyebrow at him.
"Okay. So I know you ain't no virgin. You have experiences. With both male & female. So I was gonna ask if you can.....um, you know."
"Roc stop beating around the bush and tell me." What could The Roc Royal be thinking of to be so shy to say it?..
"Maybe a blow job? As in, give me head?" He asks, hope in his eyes.
I want to burst out laughing but I immediately remembered what happened the last time I did that.
"Here's what's up Roc." I begin my protest. "You know I'll do anything for you, but I don't do that stuff. Like, it's nasty when I see it in porn. Ya know?"
It's true. I've met up on porn ads while online and seeing girls choke and the cum being splashed on their face and in their mouth...ew. I shiver at the thought.
Roc laughs at me. Great. "C'mon YN. Roczilla is cleeeeean. Wanna see?" Shit, who wouldn't?
"Yeah." I reply. I tried to hide the excitement I'm feeling.
Roc flies the blanket off us both, and jumps out the bed. He pulls down his basketball shorts to his thighs, then his underpants without any hesitation.
Roczilla has been revealed. My jaw hit the floor.
Roc grins as Roczilla stood up. Roc rubs it on a repetitive rhythm. It is really big, like a Febreze can kind of big, oh my goodness.
"Mind treating this for me Ma?" I couldn't respond. I froze on my sitting position the bed.
Roc stands directly infront of me, and pressed his palms on my shoulders, forcing me to kneel down. I did. His lil friend really is clean, and extra light skinned, the head a light shade of pink. Roc rubs his fingertips in my hair in a comforting way. "It's okay. Go ahead," He softly encourages.
I licked the head, am I really doing this? I mean it's not against my will but I still am kind of afraid. There's a first for everything though right?
I grab it in my hand and worked it, as I fill my mouth with it. I looked up at him, and he has his eyes closed in pleasure. I've never done this before but I want to make Roc feel good, especially after what I did to him. Making for the time at the sleepover as well.
He put both hands in my hair, grabbing it when he reaches climax. I put my hands on his waist, stick my tongue out licking it. Then went in again.
Sucking, swirling, and feeling the balls too. I see Roc's head was all the way back, his eyes rolled over in his head. He was enjoying himself.
"Aahhhh.......that's it. That's it." Roc said in a tone of relief and satisfaction.
I pulled away, and looked at it. That wasn't so bad..Roc began rubbing on his length, letting his fluid fall out freely. Thank God it ain't on me.
"WORLDSTAR HIP HOP DOT COM." A voice said.
I feel my heart fall out of my butt. Or maybe that was shit.
I closed the door, but of course we didn't lock it. Damn it.
We both looked at the direction of the voice, which is at the entrance of my room, it was Ray. He was holding his iPhone at us. Then he held it down, probably saving whatever he has recorded. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This day, or my life could not possibly get any worse.
I panicked. "Jesus, Ray no, you can't do that!" I was on the verge of tears. Of all people, the guy I call my best friend did this.
The stupid part of me hoping he was just fooling around was shattered when my sister appeared behind Ray, with a grin on her face.
"Um, yes, yes he can." She confirms the obvious. I look over at Roc who is adjusting the waistband of his shorts that he already pulled up. He was furious. His face a deep red. "Y'all got me fucked up." Is all he said.