Someone pushes past me and I drop my churros, and like I'm reaching for the same happiness I felt seconds ago, I turn to the fallen packet before Silas tugs on my hand.
"The car Catalina."
I look at the shiny black SUV I never noticed a minute ago, parked at the side of the street. Once I get into the back of the car with him, I try to ignore the way his presence soaks up every inch of my attention.
His watch shines against daylight as he rests his hand on his leg. His eyes, knowing, like he's aware of my motives. He just wants to hear them.
Looking around, I see there's only the driver in the front. "Where's...where's Milo?"
"Where did you go without him?" Silas asks, ignoring my question.
"To eat. Its something people do to stay alive."
"I told you to take him with you."
I look out the window as the car starts driving off. "I've been around enough guards to know I don't need them."
"Yeah? Are you trained?" He asks. He knows damn well I'm not.
"You want me to show you?"
His eyes narrow by an inch. I slowly release a breath as the car turns the corner, hoping I don't look so nervous. But I am, and for all the wrong reasons.
I feel him still watching me, running his eyes from the tapping fingers against my knees to my face, and my body lights up into a flame.
"If you're trying to avoid answering where you were, it's not working."
That's exactly what I'm doing, but I don't know how long it'll last.
His stare hardens from my answering silence, and his assumption comes out rough and low. "You were with a guy."
"I was at a churro stand." I correct.
The mixture of shock and relief in his eyes is priceless. "Without the guard."
"I wanted some fresh air alone."
"You could have been kidnapped."
"Well-"
"If you wanted to get held in a cell and tortured to death you should have fucking asked me. We have men for that."
Irritation bubbles beneath my skin. "Why don't you just do it yourself?!" I burst.
A cold flash passes through his eyes. "Ask me and I will."
Frustration hits my cheeks. Asshole. I bite my tongue to stop myself from responding to him, and force myself to look out the window again. I'd never met a man who made me this angry, and I hate him for it.
I hate sound of my pulse. I hate when I take a deep breath to try and slow it, but end up taking in a masculine, forresty scent.
And then, I wonder how much he puts on everyday. He doesn't drench himself in cologne like the other men in my life, he's not an attention seeker. But he puts enough of it on so anyone up close can smell it.
I blink away the haziness the scent gives me, but then I see a churro stand pass by...
Silas pulls a pack of cigarettes out, the rustling of his shirt the only sound to be heard before my sniffling replaces it. I can't help the tears forming in my eyes, damn my emotions.
His head slowly turns to me. I keep my eyes out the window but he grabs my face, making me face him.
Vehemence flashes through his gaze, but it disappears within a second. "Why are you crying."
I try moving my face away but his grip is strong.
Finally, I admit it. "I dropped my churros."
His brows knit. He probably thinks I'm stupid for crying over my food, which is why I'd never been so embarrassed. After he releases my face, he slips his cigarette between his lips and looks ahead at the driver.
"Pull up."
The car turns to the side of the street and parks by the sidewalk. Silas digs into his pocket.
"Go find a churro stand and bring some here." He drops the notes in his hand. The driver nods and leaves the car, and I could have died of shame - and shock, right here.
Lips parted, I look at him, but try to keep my gaze coy.
"What." He says dryly, pulling a lighter to his cigarette.
"Nothing." I look away, and fight hard not to watch him light his cigarette up. The flint clicks once. Twice.
My eyes move to his face. Tears dry on my cheeks, a streak of cold on each on.
I don't...I don't understand. He doesn't seem like the man everyone knows. His proximity sears rather than kills, his eyes watch rather than scrutinise...he's intense, but not stone hearted.
"You're...different than what people say."
His eyes glide sideways to meet mine, in a look that makes me feel like I've said something wrong.
"Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm anything but what people say."
"Why?"
"You'll try to save me. End up hurt."
"What makes you think that?"
Theres a slight pause before he replies. "You're a woman."
"I won't try to save you...and for all you know, whats the difference between me and them?"
"The difference is you're my wife." He pulls his cigarette from between his lips. Tendrils of smoke carry his words. His warning. "And nobody can protect you from me."
————————————————————————
I never believed in fairytales.
Where girls in my class dreamt of meeting the perfect guy who'd sweep them off their feet, I dreamt of escaping the chains my father held me with.
Sure, being fed, clothed and sheltered was more than enough for me, it still didn't ease the burns I got from not living a normal life.
The envy I felt when my friends went to eat arepas without me. The desperation knowing that I was short on something and couldn't just run to the store to get it instantly.
Whenever I wanted to, my father would reprimand me over the phone.
You'll get shot. My enemies will hurt you. You're not safe, as if I would be married to a Don.
A small breath leaves me mouth and I rest my elbows on the edge of the stone balcony wall. The second Papa gave me to Silas like I was nothing, I realise that those years he kept me on strict rules were for nothing.
He just wanted to keep me stashed away for my future husband.
A stone comes flying towards me and jump, step back and watch it hit the balcony door. Looking down, I see Silas standing at the bottom.
Black button up. Hands in his pockets. Veins trailing up inked forearms. My chest grows a little heavier.
"Lost in thought?"
"Thinking about you." I tell him, and watch his stare grow even drier.
"Come down. We're going somewhere." He disappears below the balcony and I search misty trees to see where he went. Sighing, I realise I have to comply and meet him in the kitchen.
I walk in and see him putting his black coat on.
"We're going to the mall."
"The mall...With you?"
"Yes. With me." He says, heading to the kitchen archway leading to the foyer.
My lips move trying to come up with an answer but all I can say is "No."
Silas stops. His back facing me. Broad shoulders taking up the doorway. "What do you mean no."
"I..." I cross my arms and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm not going with you, and I don't care what happens."
He stops and meets my eye once again. When he realises I'm not moving, his fingers almost clench into a balled fist. "I've seen your dresses. If you think I'll let my wife walk around like that, you have no idea who I am."
"I'm not your wife."
Now he's visibly irritated. "Get your ass in the car before I do it for you."
"No." I detest but choke on my word when he comes my way. I stand my ground, trying to ward him off with a glare before he stops right in front of me. He tries taking my hand but I pull it away, and then he grabs my waist. "Wait-Wait! I'll go."
He slowly releases me and steps back, looking at me in a way that tells me his warning still stands. One day, I'm going to have the strength to really deny him.
For now I cross my arms and follow him to the front doors, pulling the heavy panels of wood open and being hit by a chilling breeze. My arms fold and I inhale a sharp breath, maybe I shouldn't have worn a dress. Its not like Mama's here to tell me otherwise.
Sighing, I close the door behind me and bare my teeth when a gust of wind attacks. Growing up in a tropical country, I've never liked the cold but at least its beautiful.
The breeze is laced with flakes of ice and chills me to the bone. It smells like the oak trees swaying in the wind, and throws some of my curls out of their neatly styled bun.
It's starting to snow heavy, with everything around me quickly turning white. I reach out and touch a snowflake, watching it melt on my finger. I'd never eaten a snowflake before.
My mouth opens and I stick my tongue out. When I realise what I'm doing, Silas is already watching at me from inside the car like I'm a puzzle he's figuring out.
His eyes follow me as I brace myself from the snow, walking towards the car until throw myself inside - right into a den of cologne and clean leather.
He almost has a grimace on his face as I settle into the seat. Its a wonder how that man gets any women with how insecure he'd make them.
"Put your seatbelt on."
I do as he says, before noticing He doesn't have his on. What a hypocrite, its a good thing he'd be the first to fly through the window if the car crashed.
We pull out of the estate, and I start to panic the time we have to spend together. Silas tricking me with his sweet facade doesn't take away the fact that him being near me puts me on edge.
It makes my chest heavy, permeates the air with something equally thrilling and irritating. Part of me wants to snap at him for everything, and the other remembers his touch and wants to dive into it.
I'm insane. I blink, questioning myself before noticing him glance my way.
"You're sitting against the door." He states the obvious. I uncurl my hands from around the handle, still against the door. "You're still afraid of me."
"I'm not afraid of you." I say in a voice that sounds shaky. "I just like my personal space."
As we get onto a highway, the scented thing dangles around in front of me and an involuntary snort comes out of my mouth when I see what it is. Suddenly all the anxiety that held me is gone.
"You have cotton candy scented air freshener." I declare. He's blinking like he has no clue whats wrong with it, and I kind of feel bad but my words just keep tumbling out. "Leone would never."
"Leone drives a Jeep Wrangler."
"It's still better than your car, at least he uses his warmer."
"Heater." He corrects. "And if you'd worn a jacket you wouldn't need it on."
He was kidding right? Its like minus 3 degrees outside, theres no way he doesn't feel cold. I want to say something but I just sigh and play with my bracelet, making a little clinking noise as the silver beads clash together.
I make a sound. Silas's jaw tenses.
I make another sound, he glances at me. One more and he grabs my wrist, my gasp quiet as I stare at his hand on me.
Suddenly the air is pulsing with my heartbeat. His palm cradles my skin with warmth while a shiver rolls down my spine at the sight of his tattoo. So much for showing him my bravery.
Silas gives me a side look, releases me, and I don't realise how hot I am until I place my hands in my lap and feel my sweaty palms.
"You've gotta stop jumping when I do that." His voice is weirdly quiet. "We sleep in the same goddamn bed."
"I thought you like it when people fear you."
He looks out the window. "Play by my rules, and you'll be the only one who doesn't have to fear me."
"Leone didn't scare me at all."
"Leone can't scare a mouse if he tried."
"Why do you hate him so much?" I shuffle a little in my seat, still distracted by the memory of his hand on my wrist.
Silas's eyes flash with humour. "You seem to care a lot about a man you dropped in a heartbeat."
"I do." I lie.
"You're an awful liar."
"I cared about him more than I'll ever care for you-"
"You left him for me."
"I still liked him-"
"You liked his wallet. You two never gave a crap about each other otherwise."
A frustrated breath leaves my mouth. "Why do you care?"
For a second he makes me believe he doesn't, but I notice his fingers are tight around the steering wheel. A dark, tense, vibe emanates from him, one I'd never seen before.
I'm starting to see Silas as a book. Closed. A pristine cover, though its withering away on the inside. Each page is completely different than the other, able to be flipped within a second and the darkness within them...they'd be words with an intrigue that haunted.
He's a great actor.
"I don't." He finally replies.
"Then why do you..."
I slowly look out the window, wondering why - as his boss - he doesn't like Leone. Wondering why he needed me, of all people to take part in his sick twisted plan I still have no clue about.
Skyscrapers dance around us like grey slabs behind snowflakes. The sun peeks out a little from behind a cloud, disappearing so fast its like it was never there.
And then it all clicks.
"You did this to get revenge on Leone." I whisper, unsure of the words leaving my mouth. A menacing flame plays in his eyes as they dart to my lips.
"You have no idea what I have planned for you Catalina."