pairings: fake-girlfriend sana x fake-partner reader
words: 1.2k
genre: angst >:(
warnings: crying, cheating, lying, unhealthy relationships, mentions of sexual activities
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It was raining outside your car, the soft pelts of the drops hitting the window as the sound complimented the faint indie music playing from your radio. But it didn't drown out the sounds of the hiccuping girl in your passenger seat, her body lightly jerking from crying so hard a few moments ago.
You can't even bring yourself to look at her. You wouldn't be able to handle the look of heartbreak. Your head was hung low in utter shame and disgust with yourself, and you stared blankly at the steering wheel.
"You deserve so much better than me Sana. So much better than this and this shitty up relationship I created." Your voice cracked and your composure was crumbling the longer you sat there with her. She accidentally let out a choked sob, her throat tightening up.
She didn't want to hear that from you. She stared out the window and let those words kill her even more, her eyes stinging again from more tears gathering in them.
"You're such a liar and a hypocrite. You told me you'd end things as soon as you and Yeri got back together. But instead you-" She paused for a moment, trying to get her breathing under control and focusing on the scenery outside the fogged window, "You kept her a secret continuing to fuck me and my feelings like I'm your pet. You dragged this on. You let me think that we could've been something... and I still love you, even after everything you've put me through." Her voice died out towards the last part due to the sobs racking through her small body.
She was right. You hated yourself for that. You hated how easy it was for you to manipulate her feelings for your benefit. You knew she wanted you as more than a fantasy, and you played her.
You kept Sana to the side and abandoned your agreement with her, and resumed activities with your ex, Yeri. It was so fun being with Sana, but she could never satisfy you as Yeri did. She simply wasn't her.
After the breakup, you couldn't stomach to see her flirting with other people, and Sana could see you hopelessly staring at your beautiful ex-girlfriend, latching onto some guy. Knowing you'd never look at her like that.
"Why don't you make her jealous back? Find your own plaything." Jeongyeon said to you Thursday night over the phone. It wasn't like you to mess around with random people, the thought made you uncomfortable. Yet you begin to consider it.
Who'd even agree to something like that? What if they end up actually liking you? Why...
You obsessively picked at your nails, a habit you picked up when you were contemplating something. Then suddenly, you remembered something. Sana.
You remember eavesdropping on her conversation one day with another one of her friends, talking about her feelings for you. You brushed it off and never thought of it again. Until now.
You had called Sana over at your apartment that Saturday afternoon asking for her help with your homework assignments, but really to try and persuade her to be your "girlfriend" for a bit. Of course she came, your smiling face pulling at her heart strings when you opened the door in your pajamas.
You'd never called her over before without the rest of your friend group, so she was pleasantly surprised and even made her self more presentable for this mediocre occasion.
"It's just so unfair how she gets to live as if we were never together. You know, I see her staring at me sometimes, and I know she's not over me yet." You began towards the end of your study date, Sana's complete attention on you as you both sat on your bed.
"We're in love and I don't know how she doesn't see it." You purposely put the hurt sound in your voice to make her pity you for what you were about to ask her.But she beat you to it.
"I know this idea is pretty out there but, we can pretend to date... to make her jealous." She was uncertain as she said it, but of course you agreed. it was your plan after all.
You didn't realize you were actually attracted to her until it was too late. You began doing things that couples usually do, even away from the public eye. Texting her cute messages, showing up at her door with with food and cuddles, saying things that shouldn't be said in a false relationship.
Then you realized this was more then what it should be when you enjoyed the moans reserved only for you. A little over a month into fake dating and you were head over heels for her, and she was just falling deeper in love.
However, you were lust driven, only seeking the type of love Yeri had with you. Your ex witnessed all the lovey-dovey things Sana and you were doing and came crying in your arms like you wanted. You were ecstatic. But you weren't ready to end whatever you and Sana had.
As impossible as it was , you found a way to keep both girls, without either finding out.
You remembered holding her hand, smiling at her blushed cheeks and telling her you'd never break her heart, as a fake girlfriend and as her friend.
"Why me? Huh?" She was raising her voice at you, the unrestrained emotion coming out of her mouth caused the tears to fall from your face.
You stole a look at the beautiful girl and your heart ached. The tears seemed to be forever flowing down her face, her cheeks red and her eyes swollen.
She was wearing the over-sized jumbo knit sweater you gave her that day in front of your ex, hoping it'd rile her up seeing you share your clothes with your new "girlfriend." She was staring at you too, her dyed pink hair contrasting with the somber mood of the car.
You opened your mouth and immediately closed it, not being able to find the right words. Nothing you could say would make it better.
She cried harder, the pain she felt was indescribable. The sight tore at you, and you reached forward to wipe away at the tears. She pulled back from you as if your hand was poison, and you hesitantly brought your hand back.
"I don't want you to contact me after this. I can't... I can't put myself through any more of your games Y/N." She whispered out to you, her voice weak and her eyes glassy and lost.
"Wait, let me exp-" She was already out the door, the rain hitting the soft skin you used to touch and kiss. She never looked back, never heard what you had to say. This is what you deserved for being greedy.
The only time you saw the girl was when you and your friend group hung out, and even then she ignored you at all costs, pretending you weren't even there. She couldn't watch you put your lips over hers and making her laugh, when that's what you did to her too.
You soon forgot about the pink-haired girl and she once again became the one person you disregard, Yeri filling in the hole once again.
But she'd never forget you, no matter how foolish it is. She still hates you. But she'll always love you.