Monday
Many things happened today, and I couldn't get myself to understand them. After getting out of the laboratory, I went straight home. Listening to music, I tried to understand his behaviour and my own emotions. Suddenly, I feel so emotionally numb. It wasn't my fault that something like that happened. Heck! I'm getting through something painful, and he only cares about his experiments... On the other hand, he always adored experimenting. For example. He even went to steal that cart from little children's backyard. That was actually fun. And when he forced you to join science club. I was so angry, but I would have never met Oreiro. She and I started to talk recently, and I think I can actually find my place in a lab. Wait... Does that mean that I'm not supposed to go there anymore? It sure will be awkward, and what about Yuzuriha and Taiju? They'll hear about this whole thing and will stop talking to me. The fact that everything that gave me happiness is disappearing. I should make new friends, right? But I've just made them... And lost them. Everything is changing again. Yes, it is painful, but what can I do? Nothing! Crazy right? Think I'm losing it. Tomorrow will be better.
I suddenly feel guilty...
Tuesday
Here we go! Oof. We are having a problem here. Sitting on your chair in a class while having math is somehow frustrating. He is not talking to you. What does he think? What do they think about you right now? Suddenly, you feel your leg shaking under your desk out of stress. You stopped and looked around and saw everyone focused on their work. Isn't it stupid how everyone is just minding their business and not giving just a glance to others and trying to do something. How selfish can teenagers be? Nyoko? She has Rykuu. Rykuu? She has everyone and even Goku. Goku, your first boy friend and the one who you went to the library with? He has whole drama club and girls. Science club? Oreiro has her friends from 2nd year. Yuzuriha? She has Taiju. Taiju has Senku. Senku has honest and true friends without trying. That's so unfair! You always tried, and now nothing? "Miss (L/n)? Are you even focused?" That annoying math professor asked. "No," you answered bluntly. "Is something more important outside the window?" "Huh?" "Miss. I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you," he suddenly became more irritated. "Well, I'm too trying. And nothing," you said with venom in your voice. "Calm down, miss," he laughed, "My class is not a place for zoning out, so if you want to keep disturbing me... You can just leave."
Wednesday
What now? I feel like everyone knows it. They for sure know I'm alone. Oh, what would I give to not feel this way. Ever. Again. I will smile more on people so they feel better. I will study more. I will be more polite. Stop competing with him. Try to understand him- others more... I will... Just, please, give me my true friends back. Or at least him. I hadn't spent much time with him, but it was fun. Now I know it. I want to experience more of it. Maybe if I weren't, so mean things would be better. Now, when I look back, I shouldn't have been so mean. And if I could just change what I said!
Thursday
Ifs, woulds and should-s. Stop with those imaginary stuff. It happened. So it's time to finally live the reality. No more of it. He is still not talking to you, and so you need to face the reality. How are you supposed to fix this without being ignored? After these three days, you actually calmed down and are willing to think of a plan. Now that you are aware of your mistake, it's time to stop with your emotional thinking and start to do something. Bargaining no longer feels like an option. And that's good 'cause next week your class and class 1-A are going to a school trip to Kyoto! Great chance for socializing. But that would be weird. Maybe he- they- some people will think that the loss did nothing to you and may think how easily you are replacing them. Today, Oreiro asked if you were better, and you told her not to worry. You feel it's getting better, but the feeling of the loss is still there. And then the loneliness hits again. She was just asking because of you obviously not coming to lab anymore. That's the reality.
Friday
Tomorrow is Saturday, and your last chance to actually apologize... At least, that's what Yuzuriha told you.
Saturday
Ok. Whatever is going to happen it will.
"(Y/n)!! Over HERE!!!" Taiju shouted with excitement. "Hello guys. It's good to see you after so long," you smiled as if nothing. They know.. "Me and (Y/n) are going to get some cones for the experiment," Yuzuriha said while pulling you far away from the boys. You began to collect some cones in a nearby small park forest. She finally broke the silence: "So. What's happening?" "I do not understand what you're talking about," you answered, trying to find a good way to change a topic.
"Are you kidding me! You and (Y/n)!! What else!!!" Taiju shouted when he didn't get the answer. Senku put his pinky in his ear and sighed. "What about us-?"
"-there's nothing wrong happening," you said, continuing to do your job. Yuzuriha was getting more and more impatient. "We thought you two were actually having a nice friendship. Did you two fight?"
"No!.." Senku didn't even hesitate to answer. Taiju looked at him with 'are you serious' look. Senku sighed. "I was angry because it was a really rough day for both of us. I don't know what she was or wasn't going through, but... I couldn't sleep, especially because of the whole mystery behind petrified swallows. I wanted to start the experiment with. It was also established that a few of the sparrows were still exhibiting signs of consciousness! And i had some problems with getting my fathers signature on the papers about the Kyoto trip. But she-"
"-wasn't paying attention... I had reason. I don't know what he was or wasn't going through, but... I was distracted because I lost my friend. She replaced me, and I was so shocked, but I didn't want to get kicked out of the laboratory! I needed some-" but then she interrupted you. "Wait!" she said with surprise in her voice and face. You were sitting on the grass, completely forgetting about cones and just trying to solve this. "Why did-"
"-you kick her out!!" Taiju shouted. Here it comes the moment of explanation. "It felt like she was sabotaging my work," Senku defended himself. "And she left?"
"Yes. What else was I supposed to do?" you asked angrily, remembering all of the curious faces in the laboratory. "Did you ask him?" she asked the obvious-
"No. Of course not! There is nothing to talk about. She didn't want to be there, so I let her go," Senku said with frustration. "Now we know the problem!"
"Huh?" You looked at her with confusion on your face. "You two just can not talk to each other... Or don't want to," she said. "Wow. Tell me something I don't know," you rolled your eyes. "No. You two should talk to each other and solve it. Both of you are missing information, and that's when overthinking starts. You need to talk. You don't have other options, so you better talk to him, or I'll whoop your ass up right here right now," she let out an empathetic laugh. "Talking did not really help me in the past. Why do you think it'll help us now?" you asked. "Because I can see all the unspoken words inside you. Say. Do you feel like Senku is like those in the past?" she asked, completely reading you. That's right. He is not. These past five days, you didn't even think about others at all. Just about what you lost because he is not your friend anymore. That's true friendship! You actually regretted this one and not because it was partly your fault, but because you felt and experienced something else with him and Yuzuriha and Taiju! That's the thing she and Oreiro are talking about. This is what you do not want to lose. "Now I understand... Thank you, Yuzuriha," you smiled with new hope and strength in you. "Wait... It worked?" she looked at you with sparkles in the eyes. "Yes," you chuckled and hugged her. How could I almost lose this? "Are you going to talk to him, then?" she asked you. "Yes... But not today. I need to reorganize my thoughts, and what am I going to tell him," you answered, breaking the hug. "Good. Now, c'mon, we need to get back," she smiled and took some cones with her. You did the same. Not feeling nervous anymore, you went back to boys and actually were willing to solve this all.
"Good. Girls are back," you heard, Senku. Taiju ran to you to grab the cones. "Oi, big oaf, throw it in this bucket and Yuzuriha, I need those rocks that you brought," Senku commanded. "And me?" you asked with the confidence. "What do you mean, what about you? Notebook is in the cart," you smiled as he said that. Once you were not facing him anymore, he smiled too. Only Taiju saw it and was shocked, but Senku just rolled his eyes at him. You took your notebook and then sat down next to Senku to observe the workplace.
"We are doing CaO₂- Calcium peroxide. It's an easy combustion process, but it is stupidly hard to control. Now you can write down the things we are using," he told you. I'm back, baby! Yes, it felt nice. "Who for the love of my nerves brought speaker?" Senku asked while looking through stuff. "I did!!" Taiju exclaimed. "Did you hit your head or something? We don't need it," Senku rolled his eyes. "Actually. I would like to listen to some music while working," you said excitedly. Senku knew what would happen when the music hit, but at the same time, he liked it when his friends had fun and he at least was happy if things won't be so tensed between you two. "Only this once," he said seriously, but his face softened when he saw the happiness in your face. It's all slowly coming back, he thought. You all sang the lyrics and sometimes even danced. Senku would shout at all three of you to stop, but you knew he didn't actually mean it. In the and he finally got the control of a fire and could get rocks up on it.
"Are you coming to the laboratory on Monday?" he asked you. "Yes. I'm sorry I wasn't there for the past few days," you said. "It's alright." Now is the chance to solve this. Talk! You opened your mouth, but then Senku got up and ran to take some wood because his fire was weak. Oh no. You got up, leaving pencil and notebook behind, and then you started blowing into the can, where the whole thing was happening. C'mon c'mon! Ash and small pieces of coal went out of the can, and then a fire started to gain his strength again. You got up and smiled. "Nice job, writer," Senku praised you. "Of course," you said while sitting down and grabbing your notebook. "But I'm going to write down my importance in this experiment," you smirked. "Sure, sure. You have a free hand in doing your job... If you actually are doing your job, of course," he said, completely changing the mood. "Yeah," you mumbled and wanted to continue. You wanted to solve this, to talk to him, but you just didn't feel the right moment. "Now, let's focus on this. By the way... I like this song," he said. Your eyes instantly widened, but then calmed, and you smiled. "Yeah. Me too. Maybe we can try to do this in the laboratory too," you suggested. "This experiment? I'm not really sure if it's-" but that's when you interrupted him. "No. Not the experiment. I mean the music. Wouldn't other members like it, too?" You asked about your idea once again. He was thinking about it, but he himself looked sceptical about it. "Maybe," was all he said. You shrugged and continued your conversation with him and later with your other two friends.