Letting go is never easy. You leave behind a part of yourself to move on.
It was his last working day at the Brew Story Café. It was a place that had been part of his routine for the three precious years of his life. Now, as he handed out the last of the orders, his eyes scanned the interior one last time, taking in as many details as he could remember. Then his eyes stopped at the red vinyl booth at the far end corner.
A smile stretched across his lips as an image of Enzo perched on the same booth flashed in his mind. It was a bittersweet memory, and Kian would be lying if he said it didn't hurt to recall all the moments he shared with Enzo.
It had been a month since Enzo stopped sending him voice messages or random texts claiming how much he missed Kian. One month, since Kian stopped re-reading his old texts and replaying his old voice messages every single night. One month since he broke up with his boyfriend over unanswered calls and silent denial.
The ache was still fresh in his heart, but the fact that their relationship was doomed to fall prey to the hands of time and distance somehow dulled it a little.
And maybe he was angry back then, but now he just regretted acting out the way that he did. He regretted not giving Enzo a chance to explain himself. He cut the boy out as if he wasn't the only one for him.
Yes, Enzo was his forever, and he had known that since they first kissed. No one could take his place in Kian's heart.
His eyes flickered towards the farewell banner on the wall behind the counter with purple-colored paper flowers around his name. Earlier that evening, Simone and the staff threw him a dreamy farewell party with his favorite confectionaries and expensive champagne. It was nothing less than a heart-warming experience for him to see Simone's sad smile as he said his goodbye.
"You know that Brew Story will always be your second home. If you ever want to leave the corporate world and decide to be a barista again." Simone had said as he gave him a tight friendly hug.
"I Know, Simone." Kian had to press in a smile even though all he wanted was to cry about how much he would miss the place and the little family it gave him.
Kian took off his apron, smoothed his hand down his crisp white shirt, and realized he was alone in the café. He tossed the keys in the air and caught them in time with a dramatic show of finally handing them over to Simone. When the door jingled, his eyes jumped to be rewarded with the image of a familiar customer strolling in. Tonight he was wearing a black hoodie and simple black jeans, his hair arranged in a low bun and his midnight irises as dark as Kian had learned them to be whenever they collided with his eyes.
It felt like a dream to him.
Was it a dream? Was he seeing things now?
Then something familiar spiked through the air around him and thundered in his skull to his awareness. It was subtle at first, a combination of scents, his cologne, the aftershave, his sweat, and then he stood in front of him, just a few steps separating them, and it created a series of sensations across Kian's skin. His spine pushed against the counter as the familiar feeling rushed through his veins. God, he missed him.
Kian stood there frozen to see the sparkling black orbs that had been haunting his dreams for months staring up at him.
"Kiki," his voice still sounded like raw music of love and passion. Kian tried to catch his breath and speak, but the wind-scoured past his nose and mouth, constricting his throat with the pain in his head and ache in his heart, leaving him gasping. Most of all, it was his beauty that left him breathless all over again, just like the first time he met him in the same café.
Enzo crossed the rest of the space between them and placed his hands on the counter, trapping Kian from either side. "Kiki," Enzo whispered again, his voice a mix of plea and hope.
The closeness of their bodies seared Kian's mind with the memories of their stolen kisses, the late-night video calls, the forever promises, and the warmth that his love brought into Kian's chilling nightmares. And he had spent endless nights yearning, crying, wishing everything went back to the way things were before he saw his forever with someone else, someone better, someone who could give him a life he couldn't.
And now Enzo was there, his hands on either side of his body, close but not touching. His lips inches from Enzo's, red and tempting. His chest was heaving with the impact of harsh breathing, and Kian was instantly consumed with the need to kiss the boy breathlessly. That's what he wanted to do for months, and now Enzo was there, and all Kian did was look at him.
Then Kian truly looked at him. Enzo's eyes were desperate and glassy, like the times when he had one of his anxiety attacks. "Enz? Why are you here?"
"Can't you tell?" Enzo breathed, his eyes soaking in Kian's features. "I'm here for us, Kiki."
Kian shook his head. He tried to push away Enzo, but he couldn't. He squeezed his eyes, pushed his spine some more to the counter, trying to gather his mind around the boy, and finally gazed up at him. "I thought our 'us' is lost in your dumbness and my stupidity."
"Never," Enzo said, dropping his head on Kian's shoulder and sighing. "Tell me what I did to deserve your cruelty. God, Kiki. Just tell me, and I will leave."
Kian felt his anger resurfacing as the images of the red-haired girl sitting on his boyfriend's lap reeled in front of his eyes. "Are you that dumb, Enzo Santiago?"
"What-"
Before Enzo could complete, Kian flipped them over, and now Enzo's back was leaning on the counter while Kian tackled him between his hands, vise against the edge. "I can't share you with anyone, Enzo. I know you're into girls and would rather date a girl with soft features like Zarina Swan than me. So, fine if that's what you prefer. Stop pretending to love me when all you need is friendship from me. We should've stayed friends."
"Wait," Enzo laughed dryly, shaking his head. "Where is all this coming from? Which friends kiss or make love or get aroused with the mere image of their friend in their mind? You're my boyfriend, Kiki? You hold my heart and share my soul. We can't be just friends. It's a little too late for that, don't you think?"
Kian relaxed his hold around Enzo and stepped away. Now they were both leaning on the counter side by side, their shoulders touching, and Kian could feel Enzo's shot-up heartbeat through the contact, a match with his own. "I saw your friend's post with that redhead girl sitting on your lap and all those Enzarina tags. It was trending on Twitter. Not so subtle, was it?"
A deep silence fell around them, consuming both in it. Enzo pulled away, and Kian's heart caved with the loss of his touch. Without saying anything back in his defense or at least accepting what he did, Enzo walked towards the door, his back facing Kian and clutching the doorknob in his fist. "You know, Kiki, I can tell you my version of the story, but I'm sure that wouldn't make any sense. If we don't have trust, then we have nothing. If you ever find yourself in a position to trust me again, you can come to find me. I'm staying at a motel two blocks from your place. I'll send you the address if you haven't blocked my number yet. Just don't be too late. I'm back on the road tomorrow."
Kian ignored the single tear slipping down his cheek. He watched Enzo slip away once again. Enzo paused at the entrance looking at Kian over his shoulder, and he saw the hurt in Enzo's eyes before he sneaked out of his grasp.
Enzo was right. If they didn't have trust in their relationship, then they had nothing.
And now Enzo was leaving. Maybe, he was back out on the road tomorrow. He was going far from Los Angeles. Far away from Kian, and that should be fine.
Only it didn't feel like it.
Kian slumped onto a nearby booth, his heart aching in a way it had ever since he shut Enzo out. He scrubbed his face with his hands aggressively and released a frustrated groan, got up to run after Enzo, then sat back down.
When his heart did a weird thud against his chest, he got up again and went up to the door but turned away, holding the doorknob in a grip so strong that his knuckles turned red.
Why was he resisting it? What was the use when he knew there was no way he could let Enzo leave with those sad and disappointed eyes?
"Okay," he said, swallowing hard. "Fuck it."
He threw the door open. The bell jingle echoed in the silence, and Kian ran after Enzo, needing to catch up to him, if only for one last kiss.
The night breeze was worse against his skin, snatching his breath away as he ran aimlessly, not knowing if Enzo went in the same direction. All he knew was he needed to hold him again and soak in his familiar scent because nothing else could fill the hole in his chest that ate him from the inside out.
Then he rounded a corner, and he slammed into something soft yet firm, getting knocked backward. He lost his footing, held onto whoever he'd run into for support, and together they tumbled to the sidewalk, slamming his head on the concrete. He saw stars, squeezing his eyes shut against the sharp pain.
But his eyes cracked open instantly when he felt the familiar sensation against his skin, the way his body fit against his own, his hair tickling on his face, and the heat of his breath on his face.
"Kian?" Enzo's voice broke, and his hands were brushing the back of Kian's head, right where he took the hit. The pain was gone, at least the physical pain. "Are you okay?"
Kian could only shake his head. He wanted to keep looking into Enzo's dark orbs, but the softness in them made him look away. He let his head touch back down the cold concrete, resting it on Enzo's palm as he finally gazed up at him.
"Here, let me help us up," Enzo said, getting up gingerly, helping Kian to his feet. He didn't let go when they were upright. Instead, he pulled Kian to his chest, and Kian didn't hesitate one bit to go into his arms willingly. "What are you doing, Kiki?"
"Saving our 'us'."
Enzo had his charming grin back on his face, somehow knowing he won again. "I wish I didn't know you would come back, but I do. I always believed in us."
"Why do you always show up uninvited in my life, Enz?"
"I guess, I don't know that either." Kian saw how Enzo's lips trembled with fragile truth, which Kian knew all too well. "But I want to believe that we're meant to be."
"Why would you believe in something like that?"
"I just do."
Kian let his hands move to the back of Enzo's head, and finally, after letting all his emotions out, he brought their foreheads together. "Why, Enz?"
Enzo shuddered in his embrace, breathing hotly against his mouth, almost like they were kissing. "Why what?"
Kian tilted his head back a little to look into Enzo's eyes. "Why did you make me fall so deeply for you? Love wasn't supposed to be this painful, but it is. And for you, my heart aches every single day."
Enzo pulled him in for a long, breathless kiss, and Kian had no strength left in him to deny his desire for the same. He felt the salty taste of tears in the kiss, not just his. "I don't know, Kiki. But I have been wondering the same thing since I lost you again. Why can't I get over us even when you pushed me away?"
Kian's eyes slid closed, fluttered, and then opened. When his eyes met Enzo's again, he had a new determination in them. He let his moist lips touch his boyfriend's cheek ever so softly, and they burned when he tasted the saltiness of his tears. And before he could stop the possessiveness crowding his senses, his lips touched his face, cheek, chin, forehead, throat, neck, then a pause when they were back on his lips. Enzo's eyes were closed as if he was in a silent prayer and his lips quivered when Kian touched them with his own. Like hot wine and a feverish high, the kiss intoxicated his veins.
Enzo kissed him back, softly at first. Then he pulled away to drag a shuddering breath. Kian's eyes fluttered closed when Enzo mimicked his gesture, kissing away the salty tear tracks on his cheeks, trailing kisses all over his face, going back to taste his lips, slow at first, then hungrily. He met him with equally sudden ferocity, and they were lost in the moment together.
Enzo pulled away first. "If you ever shut me off or push me away again, I'll probably lose my mind, Kiki."
Kian released a wet laugh against his forehead and placed a chaste kiss. "Me too, Enz."
"So, we still have our 'us' safe, right?" He asked.
Kian nodded. "We do. It turns out you aren't so dumb after all. And I'm taking your words into action. Well, I'm planning to put my trust in our love."
Enzo licked his slightly swollen lips. "I promise you won't regret it."
"Where to?" Kian asked.
"Well, first, I want to tell you the whole truth about the picture. Believe me it's rather silly." Enzo winked, and Kian's heart did a backflip. His charms, Kian's undoing, always. "Then we're going to my hotel, and I'm going to kiss you and make love to you until one of us passes out."
Kian flattened his palm over Enzo's spine, pulling him against his chest and looking deeply into his midnight hazy eyes. "You've no idea what's in my mind, Enz. But I assure you one thing: I'm certainly not passing out on you. I never want us to stop." He reached up to brush some of his long strands behind his ears and smiled at his boyfriend's flustered face. "Never."
Enzo kissed Kian again, only this time it was a slow, silent promise of forever. "Then we never will."
The promise in his eyes had Kian's chest swelling to accommodate it, and he knew whatever his version would be, he would still put his trust in Enzo. After all, if they didn't have trust, then they had nothing.
***
Author's Note: It's finally done!! This is the official last chapter and we have an epilogue coming soon but otherwise I wanted the end to be as fulfilling as possible so here you have it. And as I mentioned, there will be bonus chapters if you wish for one.
Can't believe I've reached this point to announce that I finished yet another story on Wattpad. I couldn't have done it without you guys, so thank you so much for sticking with me on this story.
If you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts about the story. Who is your favorite character? Which scene is your favorite? What did I leave unanswered?
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