||Wattys 2022 Shortlist||
Kian Advani was a closeted queer in his high school. Always in denial of his true feelings and emotions. So much so that he did everything to blend in with the rest of the straight crowd. But that didn't mean he wasn't att...
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Kian swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he could do it.
A familiar hand clutched his bicep. He looked down to find Audrey beside him, flashing a reassuring smile and he tried not to panic. "Do not mess up this time, yeah?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah. Yeah. I won't."
They somehow managed to push past the crowding people at the entrance who were near each other's toes. The crowd had been wild, manic, infused with crazed energies, clapping and hollering as the band took the stage and they had to dodge a few of them to find a footing among them. Audrey instantly blended into the frenzied haze of party people while Kian froze at his spot beside her.
By the bar, the lights went dim but the boys on stage or rather the boy clear as day, Kian stayed rooted to his place.
"Kian, you okay?" Audrey spoke into his ear, her six-inches heels giving her the privilege of reaching up to his chin. "That boy surely has some effect on you."
"No," Kian breathed, his eyes not leaving Enzo, almost felt like he met him after ages, when he just saw him a week ago. On the stage, sitting behind the drums, the mic lowered for his voice to reach. His rings clad fingers tapped the drumsticks once, twice, thrice in the air then kicked in the drumbeat and the music carried him away.
Kian held Audrey's shoulder and cut deeper through the crowd until they were just a few meters away from the stage. Even then Enzo's visuals were blocked due to the hands pumping into the air and heads swaying in front of each other's faces. He held a guy by his shoulder who was leaning too close to Audrey and shoved him to the side, his eyes finally having a clear view of the pretty boy on stage.
Enzo's hair looked longer, tucked behind one ear, soft black curls falling over his face as he sang with closed eyes. He started the melody taking over from the guy with mesmerizing golden hair pulled up in a ponytail at the center stage. It was a complicated arrangement of drums and strumming of guitar strings.
The tune was more complex with the music but as Enzo opened his eyes. His charcoal scanning the room, searching, seeking and somehow Kian wanted to lock eyes with him. They were separated by a crowd of hundreds of people but even then it felt like they were alone when the words rolled out of Enzo's lips.
All my life I've been
At war,
In denial,
Searching an escape,
Trying to survive underwater.
I've been falling,
Failing,
Choking in my own hell.
And I had no words to heal myself.
His neck taut with tension, he lifted a bottle of water from the scuffed stage and took a swig, muttering something under his breath as the golden haired boy segued into the next verse of the song.
